While I was watching this week’s episode of iMPACT Wrestling, I realized that I was really being entertained and that I really enjoyed the show. Unlike most of the folks who own and/or write on wrestling websites, I’m more than willing to note that I’m a mark for this stuff. However, we all know that there are some folks who go overboard in their fandom. You know these folks – they are the ones who absolutely cannot live unless they have a replica of each championship belt in each major American promotion (and maybe some of the major Mexican and Japanese promotions, too).
Well, I tried to harness some of the observations that I’ve made of these people over the years and condense those observations into a short top ten list. I hope you enjoy my likely-poor attempt to add some humor to the on-going discussion here. Enjoy!
Top 10 Signs You Might Be A Little Too Into iMPACT Wrestling
10. Your top two female friends (who everyone refers to as a tag team) seems to have disappeared from the scene. You begin to get concerned about it, but then you remembered that one of them was actually a dude and you said to hell with it.9. Most of the shirts that your company gives you and your friends look like they were all made by the same graffiti artist/Adobe Illustrator noob using the “distressed” look.
8. Every once in a while you add a third man to your small group of vocal friends only to remove that third man to realize that you don’t miss him.
7. It seems like at least once each year your boss changes the beginning of your work day to an hour earlier. When the next year comes, your boss moves your starting time back to the old starting time. This reminds you of the time that they told you that even though you did a good job going to work on the same day of the week for years, they wanted you to come in a few days earlier (and you remember how bad that turned out).
6. People who don’t know anything about you hate on you for reasons that make no sense to you when you hear them. For example, people hate on you by suggesting that all of the older people in your office do all of the work while holding down the younger employees. Or they say that your company is losing money hand over fist. Or that you recycle the same ideas that other companies already used in the past. You, of course, don’t care about these criticisms because you realize they come from inexperienced younger folks who are brainwashed to believe that your company sucks – meanwhile, you and your coworkers are happy and successful!
5. Whenever you lose a big game (or match, if you’re a wrestler), you think it’s okay to go away for a few months to “find yourself.”
4. Longnecks and rednecks are your friends.
3. You have your own theme music that is a mix of the type of country music that never makes it out of the Nashville bar scene and uncool 1990s guitar riffs.
2. When you’re talking to someone that you don’t particularly care for, you look for the nearest ball peen hammer so you can smack them in the head and end the conversation.
1. You work with the absolute best workers in your field and create the best product on the market… but people still go to the big box store instead because it’s more well-known.
Alright, I’m not the best comedian, but sometimes I just have to write what’s in my head! What about you? Do you have any signs that you might be a little too into iMPACT Wrestling? If so, put them in the comments section below. I can’t wait to hear from you!
– Joe
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