TNA iMPACT Wrestling Results (5/12): “The Network’s Revenge”

Source: TNAStars.com

Opening Segment
Hulk Hogan is pacing around backstage with a pipe in hand, waiting for the Network rep to show up, but Bischoff tries to talk him out of doing anything drastic and just play the game. Hogan thinks it over and decides to take Bischoff’s.

Jeff and Karen Jarrett are in the ring to start off the show. Jeff says he and Karen talked it over and want to offer a truce, and they know they did this before and screwed him over, but this time it’s sincere. He points out how innocent and fragile Karen is, and how wrong it is for her to be put in harm’s way at Sacrifice. Out of all the matches he and Kurt have had, all of which he’s won by the way, Karen has had nothing to do with it, and the idea of Kurt and his mistress doing any kind of harm to the Queen of the Mountain is a crime in and of itself. Karen comes over and gives Jeff a hug. She then goes on to say to Kurt that she knows he’s had a lot of matches and maybe got his bell rung one too many times because she’s not the thorn in his side he thinks she is, he’s been a giving and caring ex-wife and a great mother to their kids. Everything that’s happened between then and Big Daddy has been a complete misunderstanding, because even the restraining order was in his best interests and she’s always looking out for his best interests. She’d like for him to come out tonight so she can humbly accept his apology, and they can all be one big happy family.

Kurt Angle comes out to the ring to share his thoughts, and he tells Karen that it’s done, because after being married to him for as long as she was, you’d think she’d realize not to keep pushing him the way she has, but she and Mr. Douchebag have been pressing all the right buttons. He’s tolerated it because she’s the mother of his kids, but now he doesn’t even remember why he married her and it’s only a matter of time before Jarrett realizes she’s pure evil and she takes him for everything he has just like she did to him. But first, Angle’s going to get something out of it because at Sacrifice, it’ll be the two of them against Angle and his associate. Angle wanted to introduce her now, but the Network told him to wait until later and he can’t wait to see the look on the Jarretts’ faces because Jeff knows who she is. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Last week’s iMPACT was nothing but a buildup to this show, so giving his mistress away at the opening segment would have been ridiculous. Great call to hype it for later.))

-Commercial Break-

Madison Rayne & Tara vs Knockouts Champion Mickie James & Miss Tessmacher

Mickie and Tara start the match off and exchange wristlocks and then throwing simultaneous dropkicks. Mickie extends her hand and Tara shakes it, then tags Madison in, which Madison is pissed about. Mickie gets a Thesz Press right away, but Madison gets a knee to the ribs and a running knee off the ropes. Miss Tessmacher tags in and throws a series of hard forearms at Madison, gets the boot in Madison’s face, and gets a victory roll for a three count.

Winners by pinfall: Mickie James & Miss Tessmacher

Madison and Tara argue after the match and Tara walks off on Madison.

Ric Flair struts into Hogan and Bischoff’s office, and Hogan calls him a son of a bitch and says he’s been smartening the Network up. Flair asks if he’s out of his mind and knows who he’s talking to, but Bischoff calms everyone down and Hogan apologizes and says he’s so rattled over the Network thing. Flair gives Hogan a pep talk and tells him to screw the Network, and Hogan says he’s sorry again and needs to find out who this Network rep is. Hogan and Flair share a high five as the team solidifies.

-Commercial Break-

We go backstage to Tara, who says she hopes Madison loses at Sacrifice because they always disagree. She says Madison is a skank and she wants to be free from her. Madison comes in and asks why Tara called her a rat, and Tara says she said skank. Madison says she’s going to make Tara’s life miserable after Sacrifice.

The Mystery Cameraman catches up with Tommy Dreamer to get answers out of him, and Dreamer says to leave him alone because he has a personal life outside of TNA. AJ Styles comes out of nowhere and asks him what his problem was, and Dreamer says he’s too young and innocent to know what he’s doing. Styles says he’s a grown man with three kids and asks if this is about EV2.0, and Dreamer says that’s not it and Styles doesn’t understand and never will. AJ challenges Dreamer to a match at Sacrifice, and Dreamer says AJ doesn’t know everything that goes on in the back. AJ says if Dreamer doesn’t back off right now, they’re going to go at it right now. Dreamer goes to walk away, and AJ says Tommy Dreamer is walking away and backing down from a fight and asks if this is who he is now, and Dreamer says nobody knows who he is and tells him to walk a mile in his shoes. ((Jarrett’s Jab – For anyone who doesn’t know, Bully Ray is holding something over Dreamer’s head, as shown in a segment last week. As for this segment…ugh!))

We go backstage to a photo session with Sting displaying the TNA World Title, and Sting says Rob Van Dam is one of the greatest martial arts guys around and he hopes he can zig when RVD zags. Sting says he’ll be fighting for his life, and sometimes that brings the best out of you. The Mystery Cameraman asks if there’s any update on the Network, and Sting says their guy is here tonight and soon, it’ll be showtime.

We see a video package hyping Beer Money and their dominance of the tag team scene over the last few years, and then they hype their title defense against Matt Hardy and a mystery partner this weekend.

Beer Money come out to cut a promo and Robert Roode says that he heard Matt Hardy and someone special were challenging them at Sacrifice, and he says everyone knows who his partner is, and challenges Hardy to come out and say who it is so they can accept his challenge face to face. Hardy comes out and says Roode impressed him last week when he called out Hulk Hogan because for the first time, Roode showed that he had a set and everyone saw him become a man. Hardy says he’s taking Beer Money seriously, and says he’s noticed that James Storm comes out and drinks his beer and gets drunk, and that makes him sick and that makes him worthless, and being one half of the greatest team in the history of the industry gives him the right to say that. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Road Warrior Hawk is rolling in his grave, Shawn Michaels has a sudden urge to use one of his guns, and Booker T is probably yelling and calling Hardy a “Sucka” for delivering the worst and most incorrect line in professional wrestling history. And if being drunk makes you worthless, what does that make Jeff Hardy?)) Storm was raised to be a drunk cowboy who is full of hot air, and Bobby Roode was raised to be another annoying Canadian and an arrogant egomaniac, and he’s going to put them in their place when he and his partner take the tag title away from Beer Money. Storm cuts him off because he’s wasting everyone’s time because everyone knows the Hardys are great, Storm is a redneck who likes adult beverages, but he doesn’t go around disrespecting people, and Hardy calls him an alcoholic who’s full of hot air.

Storm puts his beer down and steps out of the ring to go face to face with Hardy, takes his hat and glasses off, and says that he’s the man who would walk into a bar and bust Hardy in his face and then walk out with his girlfriend, make Hardy buy him a case of beer, and watch him have a good time with his girl. Storm says to get his brother out here and see how good they really are, but Hardy says this is going to happen when he wants it to and that is not tonight and if these piece of trash fans wanted to see the greatest team in the industry, they’ll have to pay to do it, but his partner won’t be Jeff, it’ll be someone who knows Storm inside and out and knows his weaknesses.

Suddenly, the America’s Most Wanted music hits and Chris Harris comes out looking like Braden Walker as James Storm looks on in shock. ((Jarrett’s Jab – I sense a AMW reunion on the horizons, and that Hardy shouldn’t be allowed to talk on a microphone. That might be harsh, but I had to listen to his garbage.))

-Commercial Break-

Sangriento vs Suicide

Suicide immediately takes Sangriento to the corner and unloads with repeated clotheslines, but misses a charge. Sangriento hits a climbing dropkick and spinning headscissors to send Suicide to the floor. Sangriento hits a twisting dive to the floor and rolls Suicide back in. Sangriento follows right up with a missile dropkick and hits a running forearm into the corner. Suicide counters with a running Yakuza kick to Sangriento and a modified version of the Scorpion Deathdrop for two. They exchange chops in the middle of the ring and Sangriento hits a spinning enziguiri and a running clothesline in the corner, followed by a twisting DDT for two. Sangriento goes up top but misses a senton and Suicide gets a full rotation back suplex, but only gets a two count. Suicide tries a charge in the corner but Sangriento gets the boot up and hits a leaping DDT, then finishes him with a springboard Diamond Cutter.

Winner by pinfall: Sangriento

Immortal’s music hits after the match and Hogan, Flair and Bischoff come out to the ring. Flair nails Suicide in the masked jewels and kicks him out to the floor while Tenay says it’s another example of their disrespect of the X-Division. Hogan says the games are over and it doesn’t matter what, Hogan runs this place and he wants the Network rep out there now.

Okay, we’re back and the Jarretts are now out there with Hogan, Flair and Bischoff, and Hogan is demanding that the Network rep comes out right now. Here comes Mick Foley, who says that everything was going great with Immortal until the Network started getting in the way and the plans started to unravel. Mick Foley was the man pulling the strings and asks Bischoff if he has something to say, then shoves him on his ass and tells Hogan that if he wants to, he can go ahead and take a shot at him but he’ll be outta here because the show isn’t about him anymore, it’s not about anyone in Immortal, and this show is now about wrestling because as of now, wrestling matters once again. It mattered when he was a kid and he watched Hogan in Madison Square Garden and when he saw Flair and Steamboat in East Rutherford, and this show is no longer TNA, it’s Impact Wrestling, and every time he hears that name, he’ll think back to this and realize he doesn’t matter. Tonight’s main event will now be a 25 man battle royal to determine the #1 contender for the TNA World Title. Foley says he calls the shots and introduces Kurt Angle’s tag team partner for Sacrifice… Chyna. She enters the iMPACT! Zone as Karen looks distraught.

-Commercial Break-

Backstage, Mick Foley says it’s great to be back and he was pouring out adrenaline and it’s good to be back somewhere where he can make a difference and where wrestling matters. He wanted Hogan to knock him down because he wanted to fire Hogan and Flair. There’s going to be 25 men in the ring tonight, and Jeff Jarrett’s going to be one of those men and if Karen Jarrett is out there, he wants Chyna to be there too.

We go to Ken Anderson, who says that Mick Foley’s been holding him back and preventing him from getting his rematch, and he’s going to love throwing the other 24 men out over the top rope tonight to get his title shot.

Abyss vs Crimson vs Samoa Joe

Crimson and Joe have an uncomfortable staredown as the bell rings. Crimson and Abyss go at it and Abyss takes Crimson to the corner, but Joe comes in and goes after both men. Crimson tries a charge but Joe breaks free and hits a leaping enziguiri, then an inverted atomic drop, running boot, and running senton on Abyss. Crimson nails Joe with a running boot and then goes back after Abyss, hitting a series of big boots and then getting a three quarter nelson and ramming knees to the head and converting to a rolling neckbreaker. Joe and Crimson go at it again and exchange forearms in the middle of the ring, Crimson goes back to the three quarter nelson again, but comes off the ropes right into a snap powerslam by Joe. Abyss recovers and hits a Black Hole Slam on Joe, but Crimson spears Abyss and covers Joe for three.

Winner by pinfall: Crimson

Crimson gets a big win going into this weekend, and Joe gets up behind Crimson and looks really pissed off. Abyss suddenly comes out of nowhere and nails Crimson before Joe can do anything, and Joe just rolls out of the ring and walks off and tells the camera that if you live by the sword, you die by the sword. Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Crimson and stands tall in the middle of the ring showing off his busted teeth. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Abyss without two bottom teeth looks creepy. RVD sure can kick hard, I’ll tell you that))

-Commercial Break-

Rob Van Dam is backstage saying he’s got a front row seat for tonight’s battle royal, and if things go his way at Sacrifice, tonight’s winner will be his first title defense.

25 Man Battle Royal For #1 Contender Spot

The match starts and Douglas Williams and Brutus Magnus both go out immediately. Orlando Jordan follows him out, and then Anarquia and then we have a bit of a break in the eliminations as everyone fights it out in the ring. Eric Young runs back and forth on the apron until Jeff Jarrett nails him and drags him back in as Matt Morgan chokes Shannon Moore out in the corner and then turns his attention to Gunner. Hernandez tosses Jesse Neal and then dumps Moore on top of him and then flings Robbie E out as well. Gunner tries to toss Eric Young, but Young skins the cat back in and dumps Gunner. Young is so happy he jumps over the ropes and eliminates himself, then walks off with Gunner’s TV Title belt as we go to commercial.

-Commercial Break-

Christopher Daniels is trying to eliminate Jeff Jarrett as the Pope stomps away at Devon. James Storm unloads with right hands on Matt Hardy as Jeff Jarrett suplexes Frankie Kazarian to the floor and Kazarian seems to hurt his knee when he comes down. Storm and Hardy fight on the ring apron and both tumble to the floor and are eliminated. Hardy hops onto the apron and pulls Robert Roode out as well and Hardy runs for the hills as Mick Foley joins Mike Tenay and Taz at the broadcast table. Bully Ray dumps Daniels as Matt Morgan unloads with the rapid fire elbows on Hernandez and then clotheslines him to the floor. Steiner runs in and dumps Morgan to the floor, but spends too much time jawing with Morgan and Bully Ray comes from behind to dump Steiner as well. We’ve getting down to the nitty gritty as Bully Ray yells at Tommy Dreamer to do what he’s told, then goes to nail Angle and prevent him from dumping Jarrett. Ray tries to dump Angle but he just goes to the apron, and Pope nails AJ with a Stinger Splash. Pope unloads with a series of elbows to Devon, but Devon nails him and goes for a charge, but Pope drops down and Devon sails over the top to the floor. Pope mocks him from inside the ring, and turns around as Angle clotheslines him over the top. Six more left.

-Commercial Break-

AJ Styles is fighting off both Jeff Jarrett and Bully Ray, but Tommy Dreamer nails AJ from behind as Angle gets Bully Ray in the anklelock until Dreamer makes the save. Angle with a back elbow to Dreamer as AJ Styles dropkicks Ray to the apron, but Dreamer sneaks up from behind and dumps AJ Styles. Ray high fives Dreamer, then comes from behind and dumps him to the floor and we’re down to Jarrett, Bully Ray, Ken Anderson, and Kurt Angle. Ray tries to suplex Anderson to the floor but Anderson holds on and opens up on Ray with right hands in the corner. Anderson tries to dump Ray as Angle tries to dump Jarrett in the opposite corner, and Ray manages to slip back in and clip Angle’s knee to save Jarrett. Anderson lays into Ray with right hands and clotheslines, then Anderson and Ray tumble through the ropes and Angle and Jarrett go at it in the ring. Angle with an overhead release suplex and tries to Angle Slam Jarrett over te top, but Karen pushes them back into the ring and Angle dumps Jarrett. Karen takes another grab at Angle and Kurt goes after her, but Jarrett dumps him from behind and then Karen gets in the ring to celebrate with Jeff. Suddenly Chyna comes into the ring and dumps Jarrett, then goes face to face with Karen. She chokes Karen, but Jeff drags her to the floor and they run for their lives.

It’s down to Anderson and Bully Ray and they exchange blows in the middle of the ring. Ray runs Anderson over with a clothesline and tries to dump him, but Anderson survives and nails Ray, then goes for a Swanton but Ray gets the knees up and dumps Anderson to the apron. Ray nails him with a bunch of haymakers, but Anderson grabs Ray in a front facelock and drags him to the floor.

Winner: Ken Anderson

Ken Anderson is now the #1 contender to the TNA World Title, and introduces himself as the new #1 contender to the TNA World Title and to Sting what the Navy SEALs were to Osama Bin Laden. He’s locked, loaded, and ready to go and he’s going to give Sting a headshot.

Sting is backstage saying that he’s happy for Ken Anderson, and he’ll be happy when he shuts Ken’s mouth in the middle of the ring. Rob Van Dam comes in and says that he’ll need to go through him to get to Anderson, and then Anderson comes in to say that he doesn’t care who wins because he promises that at Slammiversary, he’ll be at rare form and he’ll be an equal opportunity asshole. ((Jarrett’s Jab – I liked that the Battle Royal wasn’t random, all the eliminations had some meaning, something that isn’t seen much anymore. Morgan looked dominant and Anderson shined. Not sure about the new name for the TV Show, or the new logo, but I’ll wait before I bash or praise it.))