Results Source: Mike Johnson of Pro Wrestling Insider; Opinion Removed and Stylized by: TNAStars.com
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Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer
Bully Ray cuts a promo putting over Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. He then turns to Tommy Dreamer and starts talking about him. Dreamer comes to the ring. Ray tells Dreamer that he, Hogan and Bischoff are “like this now” and tonight is now No DQ with Falls Counting Anywhere. He asks Dreamer what he thinks, so Dreamer attacks him.
Dreamer cleans house early including a high cross bodyblock. Bully cuts him off with a clothesline but misses an elbowdrop. Dreamer tosses Ray out of the ring to the floor. Dreamer takes a drink from a fan at ringside and slugs Ray with it, then spits one in his face. Dreamer has a fan hold a chair up and runs Ray into it, which Taz called “old school.”
Someone handed Dreamer a huge stuffed Minion from “Despicable Me” and drilled Dreamer with it. Taz didn’t know what it was and joked that Borash needed to Google that. Dreamer dragged Ray into the crowd, where he slammed his head into the guard rail for bleacher stairs, then hit Ray with a stick. He led a TNA chant but was nailed by Ray as he returned over the rail. Ray gave Dreamer an atomic drop on the railing, then nailed him.
Ray beat Dreamer with a kendo stick. He grabbed Dreamer and placed him on the stairs. He went to slam Dreamer with a chair but Dreamer moved. Dreamer nailed Ray and tossed some weapons that just happened to be at ringside into the ring. He nailed Ray with a cane to the head. Dreamer went under the ring and pulled out a blowup doll. You know, because those things are always under the ring. Dreamer nailed Ray in the head and Ray fell into the “69” position with the doll. Dreamer splashed both and covered Ray for a two count.
Dreamer went to come off the top rope with a road sign but took too long so Ray nailed him in the head. Ray superplexed Dreamer into the ring. TNA had a great overhead shot of the move. Ray went for the Bubba Bomb but Dreamer slipped out and DDT’d Ray for a two count.
Dreamer went under the ring for tables just as the crowd began chanting for them. He slipped one into the ring and began setting it up. Dreamer set Ray up for the piledriver on it but Ray backdropped Dreamer away. He killed Dreamer with a trash can shot to the head. Fans began chanting for Devon. Ray nailed a big boot to the face but Dreamer grabbed the bottom rope.
Ray began beating Dreamer with the Singapore Cane. Ray kept beating Dreamer as he screamed at him on the mic. Ray said this one was for Devon and went to put Dreamer through the table. Devon’s music hit and out came Devon’s sons Terrance and Terrell. They made their way to the ring. Devon came from behind and woke Dreamer up. He snuck behind Bubba and Devon and Dreamer nailed Team 3D through the table on Ray.
Dreamer scored the pin.
Your winner, Tommy Dreamer!
Christy Hemme interviewed TNA Knockouts champions Winter & Angelina Love and Velvet Sky. Hemme said that a lot of people were shocked that Winter saved Sky. Winter said that her actions proved that she has no issue with Sky, and the only issues are Sky’s jealousy and delusion. She said that she’s just happy that Angelina is seeing that for herself. Sky looked shocked and asked Love if that was true but the champions walked out. Sky asked what was going on.
TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship
Sarita & Rosita vs. Angelina Love & Winter
Sarita took the mic early and said that tonight was going to be a great night because she and Rosita were going to win the Tag Team belts. She said that the champs have some strange love triangle thing going on and they aren’t focused. She started ranting in Spanish to get heat and said tonight, they were going to take the belts to start Mexico taking back what is rightfully theirs.
Rosita and Love kicked off the match. Love grabbed a side headlock. Rosita used kidney shots to escape but Love shoulder blocked her down. Sarita tagged in but was caught with a headlock takeover and sent into the champs’ corner. She went running back into Love, who nailed a suplex.
Winter tagged in with Sarita eating a backbreaker for a two count. She nailed a Northern Lights suplex, which Rosita broke up. Rosita seemed nervous early on. Love tagged in. Rosita tried to help but the cousins nailed each other. Love nailed a slam for a two count on Rosita, then tagged in Winter. Rosita used a back heel trip to take out Winter and tagged Rosita, but another screw-up as Sarita dropkicked Rosita.
Love and Winter tagged in and out, controlling Sarita, until Rosita grabbed Love on a rebound and yanked her hair. Rosita tagged in but missed a legdrop. The champs tagged in and out, including a nice double team when Love kicked Rosita with a Yakuza Kick as she was dropped into a Samoan Drop by Winter. Sarita grabbed a Tag belt and tried to use it but Love nailed her, then followed her to the floor, beating on her.
Winter turned to see the fight and Rosita grabbed the belt to nail Winter. Velvet hit the scene and grabbed the belt. Winter rolled up Rosita but the referee was outside. The pin was reversed and Rosita scored the pin. The idea here is that the former champs were blaming Sky.
Your winners and new TNA Knockout Tag Team champions, Rosita & Sarita!
We go to a vignette of The Jarretts on their honeymoon. Jeff’s daughters were with them. Everyone was having a great time on rides except Karen. She demanded their babysitter take the kids back to the hotel but Jarrett instead made the call it was time for pizza.
Christy Hemme interviewed Matt Morgan. Morgan said he was pissed Hernandez took away his moment to become TNA champion. Morgan said that he wasn’t impressed Hernandez spent some time in Mexico. Morgan said that just as quickly as Hernandez rose to prominence there, Morgan can slap him back down. Morgan said that when he was done with Hernandez, his sights are back on the TNA title. He said that he doesn’t care who has it – he wants it. Usual good Morgan promo.
First Blood Match
Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez
Morgan went right after Hernandez early, beating him to the mat and stepping on his throat. Hernandez went to the floor and tried to smash him into the ring steps. Hernandez prevented it but was then nailed and slammed into the steps. The referee checked for blood but there wasn’t any. Hernandez staggered around the ring, trying to regain his senses.
Hernandez nailed Morgan as he returned to the ring and caught him with a shoulderblock. He grabbed a stick, broke it over his knee and began working over Morgan. He tried to stab Morgan in the face (think Tully Blanchard vs. Magnum TA) but Morgan held him off. Hernandez choked Morgan against the ropes, then raked his back. Hernandez ripped at Morgan’s eyes. He drilled Morgan with a series of rights but was caught with a sideslam.
Hernandez came back with a running shoulder block before Morgan could build any momentum, then beat him down with a series of clubbing blows. Hernandez caught Morgan with a shoulder block in a corner where the turnbuckle was exposed. Hernandez rebounded off the ropes but was caught with a discus clothesline.
Morgan worked over Hernandez and drilled him with a Fall Away Slam. He went to the outside and grabbed the broken stick. This didn’t get the reaction you’d think. Hernandez kicked Morgan in the mid-section and went to the top rope but was slammed off the top. Morgan signaled for the Carbon Footprint but someone hit the ring. The referee and security dragged him out. Hernandez pulled out a chain but Morgan stopped him, grabbed the chain and nailed Hernandez with it. The referee was knocked down during the “melee”, according to the announcers.
Morgan went after Hernandez, who, I kid you not, grabbed a vial of fake blood and squirted it all over Morgan’s chest. Jackson James came to the ring, saw the blood and called for the bell. As it turned out, Hernandez was bleeding from the chain punch.
Your winner, Hernandez!
Christy Hemme interviewed Generation Me. Jeremy Buck acted like he didn’t want to wrestle Max. Max said it was his birthday and said that as a birthday present, Jeremy came up with the idea that no matter what, Max would win the belt. Jeremy looked like he had no idea what Max was talking about. Max said it was going to be about Generation Max tonight. Max was good here.
Jeremy Borash interviewed X-Division champion Kazarian. Kazarian said he was in the first ever Ultimate X match and is willing to do things that no one else is prepared to do. He said that like Charlie Sheen, that is “winning.” Kazarian said the match can shorten careers but can also make careers and tonight, it’s going to make his career. Good promo.
They went to a vignette where Robbie E was cool and collected about tonight as he got a drink while Cookie was losing her mind about the match. Robbie said that it was GTX tonight, “Gym, Tanning, X-Division belt.” She looked at him like he was nuts. Robbie walked off and Cookie turned to the person serving the drinks and said, “Please tell me you have vodka in there.” That was funny.
They aired a great video on the Ultimate X match
TNA X-Division Championship
Ultimate X Match
Jeremy Buck vs. Max Buck vs. Robbie E. vs. Kazarian
The storylines here are that Cookie is freaking out while Max expected Jeremy to help him win. Kazarian’s really found himself in the last few months and you can feel this star aura when he comes out as compared to the past. E got tossed to the ring early. Generation Me worked over Kazarian with several double team moves but Kaz avoided a charge by Jeremy. Kazarian springboarded himself to the cables but was pulled down. That was impressive.
Robbie E attacked Kazarian and worked him over in the corne He whipped Kazarian into the corner, where he bumped to the floor. He took out Generation Me and started to work his way across the cables. Kazarian followed and nailed him off the cables, then dropped off with a legdrop.
Kazarian nailed Jeremy coming in but was nailed and caught with a faceplant. Max started making his way across the cables. E nailed Jeremy with a neckbreaker. Kazarian clotheslined Max, knocking him off the cables. E drilled Kazarian with a big knee and a series of elbows. E went to go up and over on Kazarian but was trapped in Fade to Black. He slipped out but was nailed, taking a nasty bump onto the ring steps.
Kazarian nailed E but then ate a dropkick through the ropes by Max. Max monkeyflipped Jeremy onto the top rope, where he hit a springboard moonsault to the outside. That was awesome. Maz stared calling for Jeremy to return but Kazarian caught him and nailed him on the floor. Max and Kazarian battled back and forth. Jeremy caught him with a rebound dropkick. This is a lot of really good stuff so far.
Max tried to work the cables but was pulled down by Kazarian. Generation Me nailed him with a sandwich dropkick. Max made his way across the cables. Jeremy blocked Kazarian on the cables and they battled, then crashed. Max almost made it to the belt but Kazarian grabbed his legs and swung him. Max fell into the ring and Kazarian nailed him with an Ace Cutter in mid-air. Nice move.
E recovered and began crossing the wires. Max pulled him down and they went back and forth. Max kicked off an E charge in the corner and nailed a Buff Blockbuster off the ropes. Max, who has been on fire here, went to the top rope but was shoved into the metal structure by Kazarian. Ouch!
Jeremy Buck and Kazarian battled back and forth in the corner. Jeremy nailed Robbie E then drilledKazarian again. They ended up doing a Tower of Doom superplex out of the corner with all three. This is a hell of a stunt show. All four men were down and out.
Kazarian nailed the Reverse Piledriver on Robbie E but was walloped by several kicks from Jeremy Buck. With Max still out, Jeremy went to the top rope but was nailed by a Kazarian boot. Kazarian went for the Flux Capacitor and nailed it, turning it into almost a splash-like move on the way down. It looked sick.
Robbie E and Kazarian battled to get to the belt first. Generation Me dragged E off and nailed him with a double superkick. They turned their attention to Kazarian, swinging his legs until he crashed and burned. Jeremy went to the top but Max was pissed and pulled him down. They argued and Max went to the top. Jeremy finally said the hell with it and went up anyway. They met at the center and began beating the other while hanging from their legs. Jeremy finally collapsed.
Robbie E brought in a ladder and nailed Kazarian with it as Max was knocked off. Kazarian walked the wires, using the structure to hold himself as E set up the ladder and climbed it. They struggled over the belt but Kazarian eventually pulled it off and grabbed it. He kicked E off the ladder, the fell down into the ring. They didn’t ring the bell until Kaz landed on the floor.
Your winner, Kazarian!
We are back with the Jarretts on their honeymoon. Karen was hot and wanted to go back to the hotel. Jeff said that he knew just what everyone wanted. Karen thought he meant going back to the hotel for champagne, but it was a second pizza pie. Karen was mad but Jeff promised he had something great for everyone. He told Karen she was getting wet. I guess that means they are going on the Popeye rapids ride, which could be great for comedy. The kids were all really good here.
Christy Hemme interviewed Beer Money. They tried to get Hemme to bend over and shake her rear end. She told them to have some respect. Robert Roode said that were showing everyone what disrespect was. He said that they’ve gotten to the top of TNA by showing respect to everyone they were in the ring with. He said that Shannon Moore seems to have forgotten what respect is. James Storm said that when they are done with Ink, Inc. tonight, he will find out what respect is, but respect won’t save him from his ass-whipping tonight. “Sorry about you damn luck.”
TNA World Tag Team Championship
Ink, Inc. vs. Beer Money
Jesse Neal started with James Storm. Neal showed some fire, slapping Storm and scored a two count with a neckbreaker. He scored another with a high cross bodyblock. Robert Roode and Shannon Moore tagged in. They have a nice back and forth exchange with some good counter-wrestling. Roode takes out Moore with a clothesline and powerslams Neal for a two count. So far, so good.
James Storm tagged in but Moore nailed him from behind as he rebounded off the ropes. Neal wasn’t happy about it. Moore tagged in and worked on Storm, nailed a legdrop for a one count. Moore cinched in a side chinlock. He tried to fight his way out but Moore grabbed his leg to snap him to the mat. Neal tagged in and drilled Storm in the ribs. Neal hit a nice swinging neckbreaker and cinched in a chinlock.
Moore tagged in and stomped away at Storm. Neal tagged back in and caught him with a running back elbow for a two count. Ink, Inc. tagged in and out, holding down Storm. Moore spit at Roode to get under his skin. Moore charged Storm in the corner but Storm slipped out of the way and Moore crashed and burned.
Roode made the hot tag to Neal. They exchanged punches back and forth in the center of the ring with Roode finally getting the better of the deal. Roode went to backdrop Neal but was caught with a kick to the face. Roode came back to nail a spinebuster for a two count. Neal fought back but was caught with a double elbow. Moore had blind tagged in and hit the ring. All four battled. Moore nailed headscissors on Roode, then a rana on Storm.
Moore nailed a moonsault on Storm, but Roode tried to grab him in a suplex. Moore slipped out and used a faceplant for a two count. Ink, Inc. went for a double team move but Roode shoved Neal into Moore in the corner then hit the Northern clothesline on Neal. Roode went to the ropes to suplex Moore but he used a series of elbows to nail him and send him back to the ring. Moore hit a flip off the ropes on Storm but Roode drilled him with a powerslam for a two count.
Neal nailed Roode with a headbutt from behind but was caught by Storm with a kick from the outside. They slammed Moore. They went for DWI but Neal speared Storm. That left Roode to be hit with a Moore neckbreaker but he kicked up at the last second. Nice false finish.
Moore was pissed about the count and grabbed the Book of DILLIGAFF. He instructed Neal to pull up Roode but he hesitated. Storm drilled Neal with the superkick. Beer Money nailed Moore with DWI and scored the pin.
Your winners and still TNA Tag Team champions, Beer Money!
Beer Money showed respect to Neal, shaking his hand. Shannon Moore took a sip out of Storm’s beer and spit on them. Neal was pissed. Moore yelled at him that he needed to harden up. He told Neal he wasn’t a student anymore and the only way they are going to be champs is if he hardens up.
Christy Hemme interviewed Ric Flair and Matt Hardy. Flair said that Hardy has a cold heart and he has a vision to be the man. He said that tonight, AJ Styles needed to beat the man. Hardy said that he’s told Styles what the business has done to him personally and professionally and it’s going to do it to Styles one day as well. He said that the only thing at the end of the rainbow is Hardy. He said that it’s nice to naive but that doesn’t make you money or famous.
AJ Styles vs. Matt Hardy
Hardy’s added some muscle. Styles controlled the match early with several chops and took down Hardy, holding him on the mat. Hardy nailed Styles with an elbow after sending him into the ropes. Styles rebounded with a big dropkick to the face. Hardy went to the floor. As he returned, Styles leapt up and landed on the apron for a springboard but was nailed by Hardy. Styles escaped and drilled Hardy, sending him to the floor. Styles went for a flip dive but Flair grabbed his leg as he rebounded. Styles turned to Flair, allowing Hardy to drill him with a clothesline for a two count.
Hardy nailed several elbows and legdrops on Styles. Styles maneuvered Hardy back out of the ring to the floor. He nailed a moonsault to the floor off the apron. Hardy sent Styles into the ringpost. Hardy nailed Styles in the floor. He whipped Styles into the guard rail but Styles slid underneath it, nailed Hardy and hit a springboard off of it. That was friggin’ awesome.
Styles worked over Hardy until Hardy grabbed him with a toss backwards into the buckles. Hardy tossed Styles to the floor and distracted the referee. Flair chopped Styles on the floor several times. Earl Hebner warned Flair to stay away. Flair shoved him and Hebner shoved back. Hardy tossed Styles back in and used a catapult to send Styles into the bottom rope throat first.
Hardy beat down Styles with several shots across the back and locked in a front choke while scissoring Styles with his legs. Hardy tried to force Styles to tap but Styles grabbed the ropes with his feet. Hardy choked Styles against the ropes. When the referee forced him away, Flair used a testicular claw on Styles. Hardy dropped several elbows but Styles kicked up.
Styles fired back on Hardy to escape a side chinlock, nailing several chops. Both men ducked a clothesline then nailed the other at the same time. They staggered until Styles nailed an enziguiri. Good stuff.
They battled back and forth with punches. Styles ducked one and unloaded on Hardy, then drilled him with several clotheslines and a running back elbow. Styles nailed a backbreaker type move, dropping Hardy’s head across his knee, then a suplex for another two count. Hardy missed a discus clothesline and was caught with the Side Effect, scoring a two count.
Hardy went to the ropes and drilled Styles with a double sledge. He called for the Twist of Hate. He went for it but Styles turned it into a backslide for a two count. Styles nailed a discus clothesline. AJ went for the Styles Clash but Hardy dropped to his knees. Styles went for it again but Hardy snapped him onto the mat and covered him. Styles got his shoulder up.
Hardy charged Styles in the corner but ate and elbow. Styles nailed a moonsault but Ric Flair distracted the referee. Flair poked Styles in the eye IN FRONT OF THE REFEREE. No DQ. Styles nailed the Pele Kick on Ric, who bumped off the apron. Hardy nailed Styles, then hit a moonsault for a two count. Styles avoided the Twist of Hate and sent Hardy into the corner. Hardy ascended the ropes but Styles nailed the Pele Kick.
Styles went to the top and nailed the Spiral Tap, scoring the pin.
Your winner, AJ Styles!
Very good match.
Styles drilled Flair low on the way out.
We are back with The Jarretts. Karen has had enough of this, saying it’s a family vacation not a honeymoon. She said she loves the kids but Jeff knows what’s missing. Jeff said that he knows what’s missing and he misses him too – Kurt Angle. Jeff said that he’s shown he’s the better man so on Thursday, he’s going to call a truce. Karen said that she wanted to know where the kids were. Jeff said that they were off having fun. She demanded they find them and leave. The girls returned, soaked and began hugging Karen just as an entire huge amount of water was dumped on the entire family. Karen began freaking out as Jeff picked her up and spun her around. This was hilarious.
Christy Hemme interviewed Mr. Anderson. Anderson said that RVD should know that this is business and Anderson has to go through him to get back to being the number one contender and get the match everyone has refused to give him the last six weeks. He said that he’s a nice guy but he’s an a**hole. He said that bad guys and douchebags finish last but a**holes always finish first.
#1 Contender’s Match
Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam
Anderson cut a promo before hitting the ring saying he was the a**hole that was going to win tonight. Dueling chants as the match starts. They battled back and forth with strikes and punches. They avoided each other’s moves early until Hardy covered him for a two count using body scissors to twist Anderson into a pinfall situation. They faced off.
They go back and forth with some decent exchanges of back and forth wrestling. Anderson shoulderblocked RVD down. Van Dam went for a leapfrog but didn’t make it all the way, colliding down onto Anderson. They acted like Anderson had scouted Van Dam and used the move to his advantage. Anderson worked over Van Dam in the corner with a clothesline and kicked away at him.
Van Dam mounted a comeback. Anderson went to the floor, where he was hit with a sliding kick and a plancha to the floor. Van Dam draped Anderson across the railing and went for a corkscrew guillotine but legdrop but Anderson slipped out of the way. RVD nailed the railing hard. Anderson worked over RVD’s knee. Anderson kicked away at Van Dam’s legs and hamstring, then began dropping several knees across it.
Anderson continued working on RVD, who finally kicked him off during a charge in the corner. Rob went for a whip but Anderson cut him off. Vam Dam slipped out of the way of a DDT. He went for a rolling thunder but was hurting. Anderson grabbed him for a Samoan Drop but RVD grabbed a side headlock. Anderson nailed a back suplex to kill RVD’s momentum. He snapped RVD with a spinning neckbreaker for a two count.
Van Dam fought back until the two looked to have clunked heads legit. Van Dam nailed a clothesline and hit high cross body into the ropes with both flying over the ropes to the floor. They battled on the outside. Anderson hit the Mic Check on the ramp. The referee (Jackson James, naturally) counted both men out.
Double countout, no winner.
The fans began chanting “restart the match” while a smaller group was chanting “No.”
Backstage, Jeff Hardy said Sting stole his title unfairly. He said that he used to idolize Sting when he was a kid but he was going to make sure there is no Second Coming of Sting. He said he was going to do what he does best – kick ass and take back his title tonight.
They aired a nice video on Sting’s career.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship
Jeff Hardy vs. Sting
They had Jeremy Borash with the big time ring introductions.
Eric Bischoff came to the ring and said there was a slight change of plans. He said they had a situation on March 3rd when the network got involved in their business. He said that since Hardy was taken advantage of in a blatant way, he wants Sting to know that he’s going to be fair. He offered his hand to Sting and asked him to shake it. Sting refused. Bischoff told him to have it his way and said that to make it a level playing field, he and Hulk Hogan got together and made it a No DQ match. He said that since Hardy couldn’t prepare for Sting, they allowed Hardy to know so Sting couldn’t prepare. Sting shoved Bischoff down.
Hardy is wasting time trying to tease throwing a shirt out to mess with the crowd. Sting gets tired and goes after him. Sting unloads early with several punches, then hits Hardy with a Scorpion Death Drop, scoring the pin. Yep.
Your winner and still TNA champion, Sting!
Hardy immediately jumps up and is pissed, kicking at the ropes.
That was it. Seriously. I know Jeff Hardy has a court date coming up this week, so everyone can start to wonder about whether that has any bearing here but no way in hell could you consider this a worthy PPV main event.
Mike Tenay and Taz went through footage of every match on the show to close the PPV. You could hear the Impact Zone chanting “bullsh**” live in the building and booing.
matt says
The main event was awful but the other matches were great.