TNA iMPACT! Results (2/17): “The Boy is Back in Town”

Source: TNAStars.com

Opening Segment
A recap of Against All Odds opens up iMPACT, as Jeff Jarrett beat Kurt Angle clean and Angle left his shoes in the middle of the ring and walked away, Jeff Hardy regained the TNA World Title by beating Ken Anderson in a Ladder Match. Tonight, Rob Van Dam will challenge the new champion for the TNA World Title in the main event.

In the Impact Zone, Eric Bischoff leads Immortal to the ring and then introduces the new champion. Bischoff says Jeff is proof that you can take Fortune out of Immortal, but you can’t take the greatness out of the Antichrist, and the title is back where it should be. Hardy says something that gets censored, as we see as Ric Flair gets out of a limo in a dual-screen. Bischoff says people thought Immortal was done, but Bischoff puts Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy over for going toe to toe with Scott Steiner and Beer Money, and said that Matt Hardy proved how good he is against Rob Van Dam, and needs to bring it again tonight against AJ Styles. Bischoff tells Hardy that they talked about him taking a few weeks off, but he got a call from the network Monday morning and they said that they need Jeff Hardy to pull the ratings, and want him to defend the TNA World Title against Rob Van Dam tonight. Bischoff says he’s going to talk to the network, but he knows that Hardy is the guy who can get the job done. Bischoff says there’s one more piece of business to get out of the way: everything is back the way it should be, but he’s been calling Ric Flair for weeks and he hasn’t gotten ahold of him. Hogan warned him about the baggage Flair brings to the table but Bischoff went to bat for him, and now he’s starting to question where he’s at and he’ll give Flair until next week to come out here and explain himself.

Flair’s music hits and he comes out to the ring while Tenay quips that it’s been a week already. He gives all the members of Immortal the pound, then said that the last time someone gave him an opportunity, she said that he needs to grow up or she’s out of here, and he said that she’s out of here. Flair tells Bischoff that nobody tells Flair what to do or how to do it, then congratulates Jeff on regaining the TNA World Title. He says he’s tight with the Hardys, and after years of hating each other, he was starting to get tight with Bischoff, and now he’ll tell Bischoff and he’ll also tell Hogan like it is: they’re all one happy family, and he’ll bring the family together or he’ll separate them. Flair tells Bischoff he’ll see him later and WHOOs his way out of the ring.

We go via satellite to Jeff and Karen Jarrett getting massaged in Orlando, Florida and gloating over their victory over Kurt Angle. Jeff says he’s a role model to everyone because he knows how to treat children.

-Commercial Break-

We go backstage as AJ Styles is beating Matt Hardy up backstage and Immortal runs in to attack AJ, but then Fortune comes in to even the odds and it turns into a pull apart brawl.

Mike and Taz take us back to Against All Odds to run down the events of the PPV, then we go back to backstage as Sarita and Rosita meet up backstage with Hernandez and say stuff in Spanish. ((Jarrett’s Jab – I really hate it when Rey Mysterio does this, and he’s a face, now Hernandez does it. If you’re in America, SPEAK ENGLISH!))

Douglas Williams vs Hernandez

Hernandez runs out and attacks Williams from behind during his entrance and destroys him at ringside, ramming him into the ring steps over and over as Sarita and Rosita cheer him on. Hernandez rolls Williams into the ring and gags him with his t-shirt. Sarita looks into a camera and shoots her mouth off on Velvet Sky, so Velvet runs out and attacks Sarita until Rosita grabs her from behind and chokes her. Angelina Love runs out and now it’s an even brawl on the floor while Hernandez wraps his t-shirt around Williams’ neck and tosses him across the ring, then destroys him him with a Border Toss that drops Williams on his head more than his neck, and Hernandez covers for the win.

Winner: Hernandez

((Jarrett’s Jab – This might be a spoiler alert, but Williams WAS injured by the Border Toss, but it’s nothing serious. It could have easily done worse by the looks of it))

We go backstage to Eric Bischoff’s office as he’s on the phone with the network and asks them to reconsider putting Jeff Hardy in the ring with RVD tonight. Bischoff clearly isn’t happy and calls the network an SOB right after hanging up.

-Commercial Break-

We go back out to the ring, where the Pope has some a Hawaiian-themed dinner, complete with a pig on a table with an apple in his mouth. Pope says that in this world, it’s survival of the fittest, and he is the fittest and what’s laying in front of him (indicating the pig) is a Sloppy Joe. Pope is going to do something that’ll shock us, and take us back 10,000 years to tell us about how Jesus performed miracles, and he’s going to perform a miracle tonight and feed everyone. He knows that nobody believes he can perform miracles, but Ronald Reagan and Michael Jackson believe in him, and he pulls out his phone and says he just got a text from Jesus, who believes in him too. Pope says he’s going to charge 10 bucks a pop for anyone who wants a piece of the pig, but Samoa Joe’s music hits and he comes out to confront Pope. Kato hops up on the apron and nails Pope from behind so Joe can destroy him and hit the Muscle Buster through the table, then Joe takes the apple and stuffs it in Pope’s mouth.

-Commercial Break-

Robbie E and Cookie are in the ring and say that they had the rug pulled out from under them at Against All Odds since he had planned to face Generation Me, but now he’s got his game face on and he’s ready to become a 2-time X Division Champion. Kazarian gives Traci a kiss backstage, then comes out to the ring and tells Robbie that as the OG of the X Division and a member of Fortune, he’s going to take the X Division back to the forefront of TNA. TNA was built on the X Division, and tells Robbie to send Cookie to the back so they can do this out here. Robbie convinces Cookie to leave, then nails Kazarian from behind and the match is on…

X Division Title Match: Kazarian vs Robbie E

Robbie gets an inverted bulldog and a running back elbow for a pair of 2 counts. Robbie tries covering with his foot on the ropes but referee Jackson James sees Robbie and forces the break. Kazarian fires back on Robbie and hits a high kick to the face and a springboard back elbow for 2. Kazarian escapes a back suplex and hits a spinkick, but Cookie comes in and blasts Kazarian in the face with her pocketbook to draw the DQ.

Winner by disqualification: Kazarian

Robbie puts the boots to Kazarian and then Cookie gets on top and chokes him, but Traci comes running out and goes after Cookie. Kazarian pulls her off of Cookie as Robbie shepherds Cookie out of the ring and to the back. ((It’s nice to see the Original Knockout back in TNA. I think Taz mentioned this on commentary, but wouldn’t it be easier for Robbie E to face “one dude” instead of “two dudes”?))

Flair comes into the Fortune locker room and gives them all a big hug, then he tells AJ to slap Matt Hardy around tonight. Flair ices Fortune, and they chug them down…all except AJ, because Storm steals his beverage and finishes it for him.

-Commercial Break-

Matt Hardy vs AJ Styles

They go at it right from the start with a fast paced sequence, and AJ dumps Matt to the floor, then follows him out with a somersault dive over the top. Back in the ring, AJ goes for his springboard forearm but Matt nails him coming over and drives him into the guardrail, then tosses him back in the ring and hits the Side Effect for two. Flair comes down to ringside as Hardy traps AJ in a three quarter nelson, and AJ tries to fight his way out but Matt goes to the eyes so AJ just tackles him to the ground and starts running him over with clotheslines. AJ goes for the Styles Clash but Hardy tosses him off and comes off the ropes, but loses his footing and barely makes it back to his feet in time to take a clothesline. AJ goes up top, but Flair pushes him off the top and Matt hits the Twist of Hate for the win.

Winner: Matt Hardy

Flair and Hardy beat AJ down until Beer Money runs out to make the save.

((Jarrett’s Jab – So much is wrong with this situation in my eyes. Matt Hardy isn’t on AJ Styles’ level. He’s not a main evener no matter how much TNA will try. He left WWE to try and become a maineventer, but he will never be as popular or as big as his younger brother. Flair joining Immortal strengthens Immortal, but Fortune is basically Four Horsemen 2.0, what is it without Flair, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.))

We go backstage as Ken Anderson yells about how someone is going to get their ass kicked, and that someone is Eric Bischoff.

-Commercial Break-

We go back to the Jarretts by satellite from across town, as they’re getting all up on each other in the pool and are still gloating about how Kurt Angle is going to be walking her down the aisle.

Back out to the ring as Ken Anderson comes out to share his thoughts. He calls Eric Bischoff out to the ring, and Bischoff powerwalks his way out. Anderson says that he found out that RVD is getting a title shot tonight, and thought he would be first in line for a rematch. Crowd chants triple threat, and Bischoff says that he doesn’t like RVD getting the title match any more than he does, but it was the network’s decision. Anderson asks when the network ever had any say around here, but Bischoff explains that this is a TV show that airs on a TV network, and since the network writes the checks, they make the rules, and if they want Hardy vs RVD, then that’s what they’re going to get. Anderson says to put him in the ring if he wants ratings, and Bischoff says that maybe the reason the network didn’t choose Anderson was because of the coarse language and hand gestures, and if he was a little more PG and family friendly then maybe he’d get farther. Anderson says asshole about 17 times, and Bischoff says he can’t change what the network wants, but he has an idea: if he can’t put him in a title match as a participant, he can make him the special referee. Bischoff says that Hardy proved at the PPV that he’s the better man, and until Anderson beats Jeff Hardy, he’ll never prove otherwise, so he ought to call the match right down the middle. Bischoff asks him if it’s a deal and extends his hand, and Anderson pauses for a moment before shaking it, then gives Bischoff the Mic Check. Anderson gets right in his face and says to tell the network that this asshole will get his rematch one way or another. ((Jarrett’s Jab – I like that TNA poked fun at WWE’s PG rating, as it goes way overboard. Trying to censor The Rock of all people saying “ass” at 11:07 PM Eastern time is pretty bad. I also like that it was explained why we should care about the network considering we had no reason to before.))

Velvet Sky and Winter are talking backstage, and Velvet tells Winter to stay the hell away from ringside tonight or it’ll be the last thing she does. Winter grabs a pair of scissors as Velvet has her back turned, but Angelina comes in and tells Winter to stay away from ringside or they’re going to have a huge problem. Winter says there’s no problem, but that Winter cares about Angelina in a way that Velvet never has. Angelina asks what Winter’s obsession with her is, and Winter says that all will be revealed.

-Commercial Break-

Backstage, AJ Styles is screaming about what happened out in the ring with Ric Flair and Matt Hardy, and he challenges Flair to a match next week on Impact.

The Beautiful People vs Sarita & Rosita

A mass brawling on the floor includes Angelina ramming Rosita into the guardrail as Velvet takes Sarita in the ring and rams shoulderblocks to Sarita’s ribs before hitting a running clothesline and a bulldog. Velvet gets on top of Sarita and repeatedly rams her head into the mat. Sarita catches Velvet with a back elbow and tags in Rosita, but Velvet nails her with a clothesline and tags in Angelina, who hits a running boot for two. Angelina with another clothesline and a front powerslam, and Rosita tags out to Sarita. Angelina with a weird backbreaker, then she tags in Velvet. Sarita hits a low blow, then tags in Rosita and they go for a double team in the corner, but Velvet escapes and hits a double flying headscissors. Rosita hits a jawbreaker and tags out to Sarita, but Velvet sweeps her legs and goes for a DDT and Rosita nails her from behind. This thing hass gotten all disjointed, but Angelina tosses Rosita to the floor and Velvet blows her flying headscissors and goes for another DDT, but Rosita trips Velvet from the floor and Sarita covers with her feet on the ropes for the win.

Winners: Sarita & Rosita

Velvet gets a mic and tells Sarita that she’s had enough because she’s had Sarita beat every single time, and the only way she’s able to beat Velvet is by cheating every single time. Velvet challenges her to wrestle her one more time with no interference, but Sarita says that she’s beaten her every single time they’ve gotten in the ring and calls her a loser. Sarita says that if she’s going to face her again, they need to up the ante and challenges Velvet to put her career on the line.

We go back to the Jarretts by satellite from across town, this time in a limo, and they’re discussing what they’re going to have for dinner…and dessert. We then cut to Kurt Angle, who is walking the streets of Orlando and the Mysterious Cameraman asks him where he’s going, and he says he’s going to stop by the Jarretts’ dinner party. ((Jarrett’s Jab – For those who are confused, Kurt DIDN’T retire at Against All Odds, that was a an assumption by Mike Tenay and Taz when Kurt left his shoes in the ring after his match.))

-Commercial Break-

Backstage with Madison Rayne and Tara, Madison brags about brushing Mickie James away and beating everyone in the Knockouts Division. Now she’s beaten everyone, and is going to issue an open challenge to any Knockout in the locker room.

Scott Steiner says that Rob Terry challenged him to a posedown next week, but he’ll find out that Steiner’s favorite pose is his fist down Rob Terry’s throat.

We take a look back at Rob Van Dam’s title win, the attack that cost him the title, and Jeff Hardy’s heel turn at Bound For Glory. We go backstage to Jeff Hardy, who says that the pain he’s put him through will be nothing compared to tonight, because he’s going to put RVD away once and for all.

We go to some fancy restaurant where the Jarretts are having a lovely dinner and Jeff proposes a toast to Kurt Angle walking Karen down the aisle. Karen hates the wine (saying it’s not 87, 97, or 2007), so they yell at the waiter and demand that his boss come out right now. From the kitchen emerges Kurt Angle, and the Jarretts run for the hills, and Angle goes “What, no tip?” ((Jarrett’s Jab – Got quite a chuckle from Angle’s line, and I’d expect more segments like this up until March 3rd))

Rob Van Dam says that tonight, his foot is going to meet his face and his title is coming home tonight.  ((Jarrett’s Jab – Wow, whoever writes this really needs to get his head checked. Roode and Maidson Rayne admitting WWE was better last week, and RVD not caring about the title tonight. People that are watching and don’t know the back story are pretty confused right now. If you work for Dixie Carter, you should believe that TNA is the best company in the world. Makes it look more professional!))

-Commercial Break-

We go to Mike and Taz, who talk about the Bully Ray vs Brother Devon streetfight that was so brutal that SpikeTV wouldn’t even allow them to show footage. Taz talks about how Devon’s boys used to look up to Bully Ray like a second father, but he turned their back on them. Bully Ray comes out to the broadcast booth and says that what he did to Devon’s kids was so disgusting and vile that SpikeTV won’t show it, but his only regret was that he didn’t have another table to put the other kid through. Taz yells at Bubba and tells him that he made his point on Sunday and he needs to chill and go to the back. Bubba says that nobody tells him what to do, and he’ll smack Tenay in the head if he wants to, but Taz tells him that he’s not smacking anyone and to go to the back. Bully Ray smacks Mike’s headset off and walks away. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Taz looked weak on the segment, in fact the match last night was weak. I’ve seen a lot worse in PG than what happened in that match last night.))

TNA World Title Match: Jeff Hardy vs Rob Van Dam

RVD drills Hardy in the face with a few punches and then hit a lateral drop, and RVD ducks a wild swing and dumps Hardy on the top rope before catching him with a springboard jumpkick that sends Hardy to the floor. RVD hits a baseball slide and then goes to the floor and gives Hardy a gourdbuster on the guardrail and hits a corkscrew legdrop off the apron as we go to commercial.

-Commercial Break-

We’re back and RVD is still destroying Hardy, hitting a slingshot legdrop for two. RVD with a high kick to Hardy’s face and then powers him up for a front powerslam and goes for the split-legged moonsault, but Hardy gets the knees up and then baseball slides RVD ribs-first into the ringpost. RVD tumbles out to the floor and Anderson goes out to check on him and encourage him back into the ring. Hardy hits RVD with a gourdbuster for two and then goes for a Whisper In The Wind, but RVD dodges and htis a standing moonsault. RVD hits Rolling Thunder for two, then gets the stepover leg lariat and goes up for the Five Star, but Hardy shoves him off the top and RVD crashes into the guardrail. Hardy goes after him and rolls him back into the ring and quickly hits the Swanton, but only gets two. Hardy goes face to face with Anderson as he complains about the count, and that gives RVD an opening to hit a jawbreaker and the Five Star Notebook Splash, but Hardy gets his foot on the bottom rope and RVD only gets two. RVD and Hardy ram into Anderson in the corner, and Anderson misses Hardy hitting a mule kick that catches RVD in the Zamboni, and Hardy follows that up with a Twist Of Hate for the win.

Winner: Jeff Hardy

Anderson raises Hardy’s hand and then gives him the Mic Check. RVD gets in Anderson’s face and protests the decision, so Anderson gives him the Mic Check as well. Anderson tosses the Divas Title belt down to Jeff Hardy and heads to the back. ((Jarrett’s Jab – TNA REALLY needs to stop giving away title matches on free TV, they’ve done it so much, it takes credibility away from the belt. Another thing that does it is there is ALWAYS some type of screwjob ending in TNA Title matches. This time Anderson accidentally kicked RVD, although I liked how Anderson went out, taking out both RVD and Hardy.))