Source: TNAStars.com
Show Opening
Show opens with Eric Bischoff strumming on a guitar. This could have been pre-recorded since it looks overly produced and is a bit much. The fans are chanting something, but I don’t know what. Bischoff is treated to a round of boos when he’s done playing. The lights come on and Bischoff rails against the crowd saying that he’s a classically trained musician and that he is annoyed that Jeff Jarrett uses the guitar as a prop. He calls Jarrett out to the ring to see whether or not he knows how to play the guitar. Somewhere in this scene, Mike Tenay and Taz pop up with some commentary. Bischoff goads the fans into supporting the idea that Jarrett should play the guitar. Jarrett stands in the corner with a faraway look as Bischoff continues to push his buttons. Jarrett says that if Bischoff thinks he’s going to humiliate him, he’s got another thing coming.
Bischoff says that Jarrett doesn’t have the stones to knock him out and that he just can’t get the job done. Jarrett grabs the guitar like he’s going to hit Bischoff with it. After teasing a guitar shot, Jarrett gets out of his guitar beating stance and leaves the ring. Bischoff says that he knew Jarrett didn’t have the guts and that he couldn’t actually do it. Bischoff goes on that he should go home and tell his little girls that he doesn’t have what it takes to run this company. Jarrett comes back into the ring and smashes Bischoff over the head with the guitar, which shatters into hundreds of little pieces.
Tenay and Taz review the guitar shot to Bischoff’s head (Bischoff is still laid out in the ring, by the way) and we cut to a shot of Mick Foley congratulating Jeff Jarrett backstage. Jarrett says that hitting Bischoff felt good, Foley says that he bet it did!
We come back from commercial break and Bischoff is finally getting to his feet. He stumbles around the ring and calls out Jarrett and Foley. He says that they’ve both crossed his line. Bischoff said he could fire one or both of them with nothing more than the cost of a FedEx. He books a career vs. career match between Jarrett and Foley and says that the loser will be fired while the winner will be his bitch.
Backstage, Foley and Jarrett both try to take blame for the situation that they find themselves in. Tenay and Taz hype the main event and The Beautiful People come out for the Knockout match. During the introductions, Tenay reminds the audience that this is the only time you can watch iMPACT! on Spike TV this week.
Eight Knockout Tag Match
The Beautiful People & Daffney vs. Taylor Wilde, Sarita, Tara, & Angelina Love
– Tara storms the ring when Daffney threatens to stomp Poison (Tara’s tarantula). Wilde, Sarita, and Love rush to the ring and we go to a commercial break.
We come back to Love crushing Madison Rayne. At some point, Sarita puts up a gorgeous dropkick on Lacey Von Erich that misses by about six inches. However, the rest of the match (which is officiated by Earl Hebner, by the way) is pretty good. Tara spends a lot of time beating up people until the match breaks down with hotties all over the place. Velvet Sky hits Love with a DDT until Wilde hits a northern lights suplex. AT some point, Von Erich hits a chokeslam on Sarita and while she celebrates, Tara hits a wicked Widow’s Peak on Von Erich. As Tara goes for her spider, Daffney hits the “Lobotomy Neckbreaker” for the win.
Winner: The Beautiful People & Daffney
Outside the iMPACT! Zone we have AJ Styles hobbling into the arena as Ric Flair is being lowered from a ramp in the back of a van. Flair is hollering for Chelsea. I know most of the weirdos on the internet will hate these few seconds of the show, but I got a kick out of watching Styles and Flair hobble into the iMPACT! Zone.
During the commercial break, we cut to Styles and Flair making their way into the arena. Flair hollers out, “You okay, champ?” That’s funny stuff right there, I don’t care who you are! When the commercial break is officially over, a recap of last night’s Destination X PPV is shown. I actually watched the Destination X show last night and while the internet wrestling community is bashing the show left and right (what else is new?), I thought that it was entertaining and I’d recommend watching it if you get the chance.
Hogan & Abyss / Flair & Styles Promo
Hulk Hogan’s nWo-ish music blares through the iMPACT! Zone as “The Monster” Abyss and “The Immortal” Hulk Hogan enter the ring. Oh, Hogan is wearing red and yellow sneakers as some dude in the crowd shows off the classic Sports Illustrated magazine with a younger Hulkster on the cover.
Hogan says that Abyss and his Abyssamaniacs have set TNA on fire. The crowd chants for Hogan. He says that Bischoff told him that Flair knew each and every button to push on his back and that Bischoff was right. Hogan says that his battle with Flair has been personal and that it all stops here tonight. Hogan vows to the TNA fans and Dixie Carter that he is going to get this company back on track and that it will all start at Lockdown. He names Abyss the “captain” of Team Hogan, who will apparently take on “Team Flair” at Lockdown.
Abyss says that he hopes Styles and Flair opted to stay at the hotel tonight because it is easier than Abyss crashing them through whatever part of the iMPACT! Zone he feels fit. I’m pretty sure you can see the “WWE” on Hogan’s Hall of Fame ring that Abyss wears. Abyss says he didn’t win the title last night, but he won his respect – it’s a new day in TNA and at Lockdown, he’s going to take care of business for the Hulkster in the Lethal Lockdown match. He says that when he’s done with Styles, he’s going to need a mortician. The promo ends with, “Whatcha gonna do when Abyssamania runs fatal on you?!”
The crowd pops as Ric Flair’s iconic theme music plays and Chelsea rolls the legend out in his wheelchair. Flair tells the folks in the back to shut down the music. He says that St. Louis is in the middle of a part of the universe called Flair Country. Styles goes on to say that Abyss tried to cripple him and that he’s an idiot. Flair tells Hogan to look at him and that to ensure victory for Team Flair, the team captain is Sting.
The lights go out and when they come back on Styles cracks his crutch across Abyss’ back and Hogan is handcuffed to the corner as Sting sits across the ring with his baseball bat. Sting leaves the ring with his baseball bat as D’Angelo Dinero’s music hits. Dinero goes to town on Styles as both Hogan and Abyss get some shots in, too. Dinero unlocks Hogan from the corner and Hogan gives Flair the finger point as the crowd yells, “You!”
Hogan pushes Flair up the ramp, turns him around, and launches him into a nasty Abyss clothesline. Dinero adds insult to injury by shoving a $20 bill down Flair’s throat (which he immediately spits out).
After the commercial break is over, Rob Van Dam, Shannon Moore, and Jeff Hardy enter the arena and tell Christy Hemme that they’re going to have fun at someone else’s expense. Tomko is already in the ring for the Global Championship Match.
TNA Global Championship Match
Rob Terry vs. Tomko
– This match is essentially a squash. Terry dominates Tomko with power move after power move until he gets the pin in about two minutes. Terry is absolutely gigantic.
Winner: Rob Terry
Tenay and Taz recap Bischoff’s haircut last week on iMPACT! and his knockout by Jarrett earlier tonight. They then hype the upcoming Jarrett vs. Foley match which is up next with Beer Money, Inc. as the special guest referees.
During the commercial break, we see Beer Money, Inc. preparing to be the special guest referees. They’re drinking beer. When we officially come back from the commercial break, we see a recap of the relationship between Jarrett and Foley as well as the back and forth with Bischoff and both of these men.
In the backstage area, Jeremy Borash is interviewing both Jarrett and Foley at the same time. Foley says that he has been thinking of nothing but how to get Bischoff out of TNA and Jarrett says that both he and Foley belong in TNA. Beer Money, Foley, and Jarrett enter the arena.
Career vs. Career Match
Jeff Jarrett vs. Mick Foley
– This is a no disqualification match. There’s a back and forth chant with the crowd between “Let’s go Foley!” and “Let’s go Jarrett!” Beer Money is clearly against Jarrett as at one point during the match, Robert Roode holds Jarrett’s leg when he bounces off of the ropes. The match goes to the outside as Bischoff comes down to the announcer’s area and we go to a commercial break.
After the commercial break, we see Foley and Jarrett beating the hell out of each other up on the entrance ramp. Jarrett gets a near three count as Bischoff says that Beer Money are his go to guys because they can get the job done. Jarrett goes out to get a steel chair, but Foley blocks and gets a double arm DDT. Beer Money almost counts to three, but Jarrett gets his foot up on the rope. And now… out comes Mr. Socko! Foley hits the mandible claw right in the middle of the ring before dropping down into a body scissors type of maneuver. Tenay starts talking about how Jarrett got TNA to this position and Bischoff tells him to shut up.
Back in the ring, Jarrett breaks free from Foley’s claw as Foley runs into Jarrett with a chair but it gets blocked into his own face. Jarrett covers Foley for the 1-2-3 and Foley is out of TNA.
Winner: Jeff Jarrett
After the match, Foley tells Jarrett that it’s okay as he consoles him. Jarrett raises Foley’s hand and the two shake hands in the middle of the ring. Bischoff pretend cries at the announcer’s booth and Beer Money mocks the show of affection in the ring. Foley gets a bunch of chants on his way out of the iMPACT! Zone. Bischoff says, “Good luck in your future endeavors, you tub!” The match is over, but Bischoff says that he’s not done just yet. He picks up a microphone and tells Beer Money to attack Jarrett, which they do. They shove a chair into the corner of the ring and send Jarrett into the chair head first.
Jeff Hardy’s music hits as he and Rob Van Dam storm the ring. Rob Van Dam tries to figure out who is “Beer” and who is “Money.” He reminds everyone that the guy who came out with him is Jeff Hardy and that he’s “Rob, Van, Dam.” RVD says that he and Hardy want a piece of Beer Money tonight. Beer Money accepts and Bischoff wonders who approved this run in because it’s not in his format for the night.
When the commercials end, we’re back with a recap of what we just saw. Foley is taking the walk of shame in the backstage area. The Knockouts wish him well, as does Dinero, Terry, and Abyss. Right before he gets to the door, he runs into Bubba the Love Sponge who asks him for a brief interview. Foley tells him that Bubba is the last person that he wants to talk to right now. Bubba tells him not to let the door hit him in the ass on the way out the door and then calls him an “old timer.” Foley responds by knocking Bubba out and the fans in the iMPACT! Zone cheer.
Bischoff strolls into Hogan’s office clapping for himself. He and Hogan talk about how business has crossed into personal issues with them, Jarrett, Sting, etc. Hogan says that this stuff has to get behind them and Bischoff agrees as he gets up to leave. However, before he gets out of the office, he asks Hogan if he knows anything about RVD and Hardy being sent out to fight Beer Money, but stops himself and says that it’s a brand new day.
Beer Money are fired up in the back with Christy Hemme. Tenay and Taz hype the upcoming Beer Money vs. Hardy and RVD match as well as what’s up next – Matt Morgan taking on Hernandez.
Don West’s voice brings us back from the commercial break hyping some upcoming TNA live events. Back in real time we have Jeremy Borash hyping the main event tag team match with RVD and Hardy. Jeff is in the middle of painting his face as RVD is taping himself up. Hardy reminds everyone that he knows something about tag team wrestling and RVD reminds everyone that he is “Mr. Monday Night.” After this promo, we’re treated to a video package detailing the history between Hernandez and Morgan.
Tag Team Champions Collide
Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez
– Hernandez attacks Morgan on his way out to the ring. He tosses Morgan into the ring from outside on the ramp. Hernandez dominates this match for the first five minutes or so with Morgan getting nearly no offense. As he tries to run into Morgan in the corner of the ring, Morgan launches Hernandez to the outside. Morgan hits a vicious boot to Hernandez outside of the ring and Hernandez’s head bangs off of the steel post. Terry Taylor comes out to check on Super Mex as does Homicide as the referee calls a no contest. Hernandez gets a brace on his neck as a somber Tenay and Taz take us into a commercial break.
Winner: No Contest
Back from commercial and everyone is still in a somber mood as Hernandez is being stretchered out of the ringside area. And we’re back to commercials again…
Backstage Dixie carter and Hulk Hogan are both watching Hernandez get loaded into the back of an ambulance. Someone says to call his wife. Taz gets flabbergasted and says that he hopes it’s not as bad as it looks. Tenay talks about how Hernandez has already had neck surgery. Both men agree that it is time to move on because they’re doing a live show. They move on to The Band reforming during last night’s Destination X PPV. We go to a video package of last night’s show when Kevin Nash turned on Eric Young and brought Scott Hall and Sean Waltman onto the TNA roster for good.
When the package ends, we hear Beer Money’s entrance as Roode and James Storm make their way down to the iMPACT! Zone. Up next is RVD’s entrance music which consists of a bass chord and the name “Rob Van Dam” being yelled out in between shouts of “The Whole F’N Show.” Jeff Hardy’s “Modest” music hits and out comes “The Charismatic Enigma.” Tenay gets word from the truck that we’re sticking with the main event until it ends tonight thanks to Spike TV.
Tag Team Main Event
Jeff Hardy & Rob Van Dam vs. Beer Money, Inc.
– Hardy and Storm start the match with Storm getting the upper hand. Hardy quickly takes control of the match and sends both members of Beer Money to the floor. Hardy grabs a ladder and sets it up between the guard rail and the ring. And amid all of this excitement…we go to a commercial break?
We come back during the commercial break to see RVD hit a guillotine leg drop and – we’re back to commercials…again.
Back…again…from the final commercial break of the night and Taz tells us that the match has been back and forth during the break. Thanks, Taz.
Storm is in the middle of beating up RVD before RVD gets the hot tag and unloads on Storm. Hardy hits a bunch of his signature moves on Storm and goes for the cover before Roode makes the save. That brings RVD into the ring and Tenay announces that next week on iMPACT! we’ll see a First Blood Match between Tara and Daffney for the TNA Knockouts Championship. Roode has control of Hardy and hits a spinning neckbreaker, but doesn’t get the three count.
Roode mocks RVD’s thumbs pointing to himself pose as Taz reminds us that Brian Hebner made his debut as a referee at last night’s Destination X PPV. Hardy gains some ground, but Roode hits a vicious spinebuster and goes for the pin, but only gets a two count. In comes Storm to lay some more damage on Hardy as we cross the 11:00pm hour. My DVR tells me that this show is scheduled to go until 11:08pm anyway, so we have some time and Hardy rallies back after the crowd gets behind him. He runs into Storm and both men go down. It’s your classic double count from Brian Hebner as Roode comes in the ring which draws in RVD (who was legally tagged) and Hebner pushes RVD out of the ring as Beer Money takes the upper hand in the match.
Storm goes for the Eye of the Storm, but Hardy fights back and gets free. The iMPACT! Zone stands up to support Hardy as he tries to get to RVD and he makes the hot tag to RVD as Roode comes into the ring. RVD is all over the ring showing everyone why he’s Mr. Monday Night and before he gets the three count on Roode, Storm comes in to make the save. This leads to RVD hitting the split legged moonsault on Storm, which allows Roode to come in. Hardy gets back into the fight and Beer Money begin to hit some double team moves on both of their opponents.
Hardy hits the Twist of Fate on Roode, but Storm pulls him out of the ring, which allows Hardy to drive the ladder into Storm and knock him out. RVD hits Rolling Thunder on Roode, Hardy quickly hits his to rope move, and RVD follows it up with a five star frog splash. The victory goes to RVD and Hardy and we get a video recap of the match.
Winner: Jeff Hardy & Rob Van Dam
Taz says that Robert Roode was just another victim. Cool! Eric Young runs into the ring and says that he’s going to keep this short and sweet. Next week on iMPACT! it’s going to be The Band against Young, Hardy, and RVD. The DVR turns off at this point since it’s 11:08pm, but I’m watching live. The DVR is missing these three men standing in the ring with their arms raised. These three guys celebrate in the ring as Tenay says (again) that history will be made next week. And we’re out.
