Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain it is I, your personal harvester of sorrow…the one and only Phantom Lord and this is the all mighty Rant Of The Week. As usual I am coming to you from my above ground bunker in Brooklyn, New York and I am glad that spring is almost upon us. Granted the loveable oversized rat known as Staten Island Chuck at the Staten Island Zoo said that spring would come early this year and we ended up getting two blizzards in the process, but all is forgiven as the snow is now gone and temperatures are finally way above freezing for once.
Well the day the wrestling world was waiting for has finally come and gone. The Monday Night Wars 2: Electric Boogaloo have started and TNA at least in my book I think did an amazing job for the most part and actually put on a damn fine program. RAW on the other hand was the same old shit because well lets face it; Vince isn’t too concerned about TNA.
Unfortunately for TNA, as good as the show was it did not live up to the hype (or lack there of) ratings wise and it BOMBED against RAW. I don’t think anyone is honestly surprised because well there is no war. In terms of war this is the United States vs. Grenada. TNA while they have a better product wrestling wise (for the most part), they cannot compete with the WWE head to head. The ratings for this show prove this as a fact.
Last week’s Quarter Hour Ratings for Raw & Impact:
Raw on 3/8 did quarter hours of 3.45, 3.15, 3.27, 3.15, 3.39, 3.56, 3.27, and 3.6 with a 3.98 over-run.
TNA on 3/8 did quarter hours of .99, .98, 1.00, 1.07, 1.07, 1.03, .95, and .76 with a 1.01 over-run.
That means people were tuning out towards the end of the show, and the first Hogan/Flair match on TV in over a decade did a .76 rating. Perhaps Spike TV could draw better ratings with a dog show.
Credit to www.f4wonline.com & DOIWrestling.com
I don’t pretend to understand how Nielsen ratings even begin to work, but something is clearly wrong when people start tuning out in mass when the main event started. As I said I thought Impact was the far superior show this past Monday night. The only problem is NO ONE GIVES A SHIT. People can argue all they want “OH WELL IT’S RUSSO…OH WELL IT’S HOGAN”. None of that really matters. It doesn’t matter how great of a roster TNA has or how many WWE castoffs’ it has or what ever. The problem is no one gives a shit about TNA. TNA has its core audience and that is it. TNA has done NOTHING and I mean NOTHING to build its brand and build an audience outside of the one it all ready has. They are just expecting people to magically start watching and to get hooked.
Well what’s the reason for me to watch? GIVE ME A DAMN REASON. There is an entire audience out there waiting to be tapped and you are doing nothing to get them.
See at this point when one is talking about ratings and TNA I just can’t help but play back a great bit in my head by the late Sam Kinison about how to solve the food problem in Africa. Granted its context makes no sense when comparing it to TNA, but in my head I have Sam’s voice screaming when I think about TNA. Sam says YOU MOVE THEM WHERE THE FOOD IS. Well TNA GIVE US A REASON TO WANT TO WATCH. SEEING THESE OLD CODGERS AND RIPPING OFF SHIT FROM 2000 ISN’T GOING TO CUT IT. I’m not going to tune in just because oh well look your on Monday night’s. You have to give me a reason to tune in and while I said Impact was the better show it was up against a RAW where Vince has been phoning it in for the last decade. He could re-run RAW’s from last year and no one would notice. He could say after Wrestlemania, RAW’s taking off the next month and you guys still wouldn’t be able to do anything because you give people no reason to want to watch.
The one thing that irked me the most about Impact was the whole TUNE IN FOR BIG SURPRISES. Well surprises are nice, but when you have no name value instead of promising surprises why not just announce who the hell is going to appear and plug the shit out of that. Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam are in TNA and they didn’t get so much as a mention because TNA and Spike thought that keeping it hush hush was the best option.
In the day of the Internet where any schmuck with a cell phone can post a status update on Facebook or Twitter with in seconds, it’s insane to think anything can be kept secret anymore.
They should have had RVD and Jeff Hardy on the promotion scene hitting radio stations and talk shows and hyping the hell out of the show. Instead things are kept quiet and RVD gets a fluke win over Sting and then gets the shit beaten out of him for what seemed forever because Hogan can’t run up the stairs anymore. Jeff Hardy then makes the save at the end of the show and it goes off the air before he even does his Swanton Bomb.
It’s honestly amazing at how inept TNA is when it comes to promotion. Yes Youtube and the Internet is a wonderful thing for marketing. But when you are trying to get an audience outside of the one you all ready have, it only can do so much. The funny thing is TNA has some very good videos that they put on Youtube. Perhaps they should also air these videos on television as well. It couldn’t hurt to throw a hype video on in place of wacky boss vs. worker comedy like Bischoff trying to get Jarrett to quit for some reason that’s not really clear. Then again, a lot of things with TNA are not really clear.
Ok well enough TNA talk for now. It’s taped this week and they are giving away a Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles match for free. I mean it’s not like anyone would want to pay to see that sort of thing…
I am eagerly awaiting Wrestlemania 26 for the Bret Hart and Vince McMahon match. There is so much intrigue in this match just to how it’s going to happen. Bret gave an interview with CTV news where he will be very careful and not to be worried about his safety in the ring.
As a long time fan of Bret Hart’s I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a tad concerned about him in the ring. But on the same token I realize Bret knows his limitations and he’s going up against Vince McMahon. This won’t be a highly technical encounter. It will be a straight up brawl where Bret is going to exercise the demons of Montreal once and for all when he beats the snot out of Vince and then locks on The Sharpshooter and makes Vince scream for mercy.
Over the last few weeks it seemed like all this was going to be was the usual Vince McMahon wankfest where he puts himself over everyone. But all of that changed last night after the contracts were signed. All the weeks of him making fun of Bret and making him look like a weak old man ended when Vince got a small taste of what’s coming to him at Wrestlemania.
Awe shit…
…Yep
I haven’t marked out like I did last night in quite a while after that little visual. Vince slowly realizing that Bret was 100% was so awesome. Bret was equally as awesome as he just sat there with a smirk on his face. This is the difference between the WWE and TNA. I know the lowly dwellers on the Internet give the WWE a lot of hate for the lack of creativity it shows at times, but when it gets it right…it gets it right. TNA couldn’t have pulled off the same exact angle with all the same people involved even if they tried.
Speaking of which we have BREAKING NOOZ!!!
The first reports are that RAW did a 3.7 and Impact did a 0.8.
Credit to PWInsider.com
Ouch.
I don’t think anything really needs to be said about that. That can just speak for it self and it speaks volumes.
We all know what’s going to happen though. TNA is going to push the panic button and they are going to do something stupid. There are many levels of stupid so I couldn’t begin to speculate here. Rest assured though when they do it, it should be spectacular.
Maybe I should point out that TNA does have my contact information so if they ever want a fresh mindset I am available. I mean I could easily double a 0.8 in a month if I had complete creative control. I have plenty of ideas on what one could do to turn things around, but I’m not giving them away for free here.
Come to think of it, that seems to be a problem you guys have. You gave away Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles FOR FREE. Yes I know odds are Jeff might be in federal prison soon, but that’s no reason to blow your wad with him now.
I mean if I were in charge of things I sure as hell would not have given away Hardy/Styles for free.
Okay I’m gonna get back to some thoughts on the WWE because as much as I might hate them at times, they are least have a clue as to what they are doing. One thing they are doing right is The Undertaker/Shawn Michaels feud. Each week the hype videos get better and better for this match and I can honestly say I cannot wait to see it.
Over the last couple of weeks they have been setting these videos to the song “Ain’t No Grave” by Johnny Cash from his latest posthumous album “American VI: Ain’t No Grave”. It’s one of the last songs Cash recorded before he died in 2003 and it’s an old Gospel song that tells the tale of when the time comes for the final battle of mankind, the grave won’t hold him down when it comes time to fight. In many ways it’s very fitting for this feud since you have Shawn Michaels who is still doing his Passion Of The Christ gimmick.
Just to be clear I’m not mocking Jesus here, just Shawn and his over selling in matches. Watch him during any match…even when he’s phoning it in. He’ll always be selling his back like it’s broken but he still has it in him to keep on fighting. The Passion Of The Christ joke stems from when Shawn would tap epic gushers in matches for no apparent reason back in 2003 to 2005.
Next to Bret’s match with Vince, I am really looking forward to Michaels/Taker II. I honestly don’t know what they can possibly do to top last years match since that was about as perfect as it gets (aside from the Undertaker giving himself a Piledriver on a botched suicide dive). Shawn being consumed with having to prove himself by beating The Undertaker has been such an awesome touch to the build. And now that his career is on the line if he loses it’s going to make it all the more fun. The only way to win is pinfall or submission. It’s the way wrestling should be.
Don’t tell anyone in the WWE that I used the W word. Lord knows they do everything they can to avoid using it. Sports entertainment, second-generation entertainer, ect, ect.
Speaking of wrestling, the WWE Hall Of Fame is official now and here is the current list of inductees.
Gorgeous George will be inducted by Betty Wagner
Stu Hart will be inducted by the Hart Family.
Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase will be inducted by Ted & Brett DiBiase
Antonio Inoki will be inducted by Stan Hansen.
Mad Dog Vachon will be inducted by Pat Patterson.
Wendi Richter will be inducted by Roddy Piper.
Not officially announced yet: Bob Uecker will be inducted by long-time NBC chairman Dick Ebersol.
That is a very stacked line up for this years Hall Of Fame. I hope Inoki’s induction will be on television just so we can see Stan Hansen come out and with any luck he’ll have the bull rope he’ll do some hoopin and a hollerin.
Wendi Richter will be an interesting one to watch for two reasons. One it will be fun to see what Piper says. He said in an interview Vince asked him to induct her because he’s the only one still alive from back then. Oh sure there are others still alive, but most of them are dead to Vince. The other reason it will be interesting is because Wendi was the first person to be screwed by Vince McMahon in a ring on live television. I remember the first time I saw the Richter/Spider Lady match on a Coliseum Video tape and I was like what just happened. That wasn’t a three count…but then Moolah took off the mask and I was like oooh ok it makes sense now. Of course what I didn’t know back then was Vince screwed over Wendi and that was the last time anyone would ever see her in the WWF. I always wondered what happened to her and years later I finally found out why she was never seen again after that. Well it’s been 25 years or so since that happened so it’s only fitting on the weekend that Bret gets to have his moment in the sun against Vince that Wendi comes back and gets her due.
I am interested in seeing the Gorgeous George induction mainly because you figured he would have been in it all ready. I really would have loved to been at the old Madison Square Garden on 8th Avenue and 50th Street to have seen a match with him. The heat he must have gotten just walking to the ring must have been nuclear. Apparently the WWE is going to be making a movie about his life so that’s the reason why they decided to induct him into the Hall Of Fame. Well better late then never I always say. It’s to bad they couldn’t get Muhammad Ali since Ali has always said that George’s character is what inspired him to be the style of fighter he became. But I’m glad they are inducting him because with out Gorgeous George there would not have been an entire generation of wrestlers in the late 60’s and early 70’s.
One thing I can’t figure out is if Mad Dog Vachon is being inducted; why not induct Butcher Vachon along with him like they did with Dory and Terry Funk? Butcher is equally as deserving as Mad Dog. On Youtube if you know where to look, there is a video of Da Crusher running in and attacking The Vachon’s during a match and Mad Dog ends up tapping a gusher that turns the ring into a murder scene. Granted it’s because Da Crusher stepped on his head as he was blading, but it was still pretty damn gory. Well worth checking out if you’re not getting your blood fix for this week.
Bob Uecker’s induction has gotten some hate on the Internet from the purist types who cant understand why a celebrity is being inducted into the Hall Of Fame. First off even as a Yankee fan I know that The Ueck is awesome. Secondly watch Major League 1 & 2 to confirm this fact. Third…it’s the WWE Hall Of Fame. If he were being inducted into the Dan Gable International Wrestling Institute and Museum then maybe some people would have a point. But it’s the WWE Hall Of Fame. Be more upset that Bruno Samartino, Bob Backlund, and Macho Man Randy Savage aren’t in (though those are more of them telling the WWE they don’t need it/heat with Vince more then anything else).
One last thing before I go, yesterday the WWE announced that chair shots to the head have now been banned in accordance with the “wellness policy”.
*The WWE has eliminated using folding metal chairs to “strike” an opponent in the head.
*The WWE penalizes through fine and/or suspension the following:
-The intentional use of a folding metal chair to “strike” an opponent in the head.
-Any blow to the head that is deemed an INTENTIONAL act.
*The fine and/or suspension will be directed by the EVP of Talent Relations.
This seems to be a good thing but as usual plenty of people are complaining about this as another reason PG is killing the WWE. This has nothing to do with being TVPG. This has everything to do with maybe allowing some of these guys to have some functioning brain cells left. It’s to bad state athletic commissions don’t take wrestling to seriously anymore because there are plenty of Indy feds where guys are taking shots to the head and getting their brains scrambled. Only difference between them and the WWE is, guys in the WWE are making money doing it.
But one has to wonder what else will be sacrificed in the name of safety. Throwing someone into the ring post? Slamming them into the ring steps? All variations of the DDT? All versions of the Piledriver and Powerbomb? All the Chokeslams? How long before punches to the head and headbutt’s are considered no-no’s?
I admire the WWE for doing this, but the real reason they are is so people don’t have any fodder to use against Linda McMahon in her run for the Senate. Of course there all ready is plenty to use against her just with the WWE’s business practices alone. But what ever the motivation, if it prevents even one guy from ending up with serious brain issues later in life then it is worth it.
On that note I am done for this week. Before I go, congratulations are in order for Adam Pearce who won the NWA World Heavyweight Championship for a third time. Pearce defeated Blue Demon Jr(the champion) and Phil Shatter in a three-way match to on March 14 at NWA New Beginnings in Charlotte, NC. The NWA has been doing a lot of rebuilding since the whole fiasco with TNA using the World and World Tag team titles. Pearce has many detractors in wrestling, but I think everyone will agree that it’s a good thing that the NWA World title is back up north after it’s vacation south of the border as I read on a message board I go to.
On www.DOIWrestling.com there was this post from Eric Walker and an unnamed NWA Promoter.
The NWA World Title Belt itself runs about $1,900. Sadly, this means the physical belt is worth more than the Championship it represents. Honestly, if the NWA had a brain, they would do a unification match with ROH and at least the NWA Belt would be defended on ROH shows and the occasional NWA territory show and Japan. Oh, and the NWA did such a great job promoting this show I didn’t even know the show was happening let alone the title switch. Oh, and where can you get a cup of coffee for 50 cents?
– Eric Walker
Please don’t insult coffee by comparing it to Adam Pierce. Adam is a horseshit champion. People at least line up for coffee. –
A current NWA promoter
I haven’t seen much of Pearce so I can’t comment on him being a “horse shit” champion. But the idea of unifying the NWA and ROH titles seems like a good one and it would make sense to do. In a perfect world one could work out a deal and make ROH the NWA’s flagship territory. I really wish promoters would come together like in the old days instead of backstabbing each other. But alas that is pro wrestling so there will always be one guy shit talking about someone else because they are working against him or something.
Well on that note I am done for this week. I would like to thank TNA for fueling my creative fires once again because this Monday Night Skirmish has me somewhat interested in writing as much as I can again. As long as they do stupid stuff and continue to dig themselves deeper into a grave they can’t get out of, I’ll have plenty of material.
So until next time take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.
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