TNA iMPACT! Results (3/4): Last Thursday Show

TNA iMPACT Report – March 4th, 2010
Report by Richard Trionfo, PWInsider
We start off with the outrage that Ric Flair has for Abyss having Hulk Hogan’s WWE Hall of Fame ring. Then we see Hulk Hogan coming to Abyss’ aid and the announcement that on the greatest night of wrestling in the history of the world since January 4th, we will see Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair wrestling.
We are live on tape from Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida and your announcers are Mike ‘Adios Thursday Night Impact’ Tenay and Taz.
We see a graphic about Monday’s main event, but we have two hours of programming before that happens.
A.J. Styles comes to the ring with a few escorts. He is followed by Ric Flair and his escorts.
Flair says that he is overwhelmed at the talent and calls A.J. ‘the man’. Flair says that they have had a week to think about what happened with the Hulk Hogan. Flair wants Hogan to come out because they want to apologize for their behavior, conduct, and attitude. Flair says that he wants to give back to the Hulkster and to TNA.
Hulk Hogan comes to the ring. He is joined by his rookie Abyss.
Flair wants to make sure that this will be a peaceful conversation. Hogan tells Abyss to keep it peaceful. Flair wants to know if he can talk to Hogan. Flair says that as a result of their bad judgment, he is going to set Hogan up with any of the four escorts in the ring. Flair tells the moron that he won’t get any of them.
Hogan tells Flair that he isn’t here to bum a cigarette off him or a hit of Viagra. Hogan says that he is here to talk about the most important thing to him. Hogan says that he promised Dixie Carter, his family, and the boys in the back that he wouldn’t lace his boots up. Hogan says that he was going to bring this company to the mountain top. Hogan says that after what Flair and his wannabe did, things have changed. In four days, in front of the whole world, Hulk Hogan and Abyss are going to take them to school. Hogan has a question for Flair and Styles and it is ‘What are you going to do when Hulk Hogan and Abyssamania run wild on you’
Flair says that he retired two years ago in front of the whole world and it meant the world to him to leave on the highest note possible. Flair says that if Hogan wants him here in four days, he is looking forward to this more than anything in his career. Flair says that he has never beaten Hogan on national television.
A.J. joins in the conversation and he wants to put on the brakes. A.J. says that when Hogan wrestled, he was king. A.J. says that times have changed and he is the king. He says that he is the champ and he wants Hogan to save face. A.J. says that Hogan will sacrifice his name on live television against A.J. Styles. A.J. wants Hogan to pump the brakes. A.J. suggests that they get out of here and take the ladies with them. Flair says that they are going to do it Nature Boy Styles on Monday night.
Not to be outdone, Eric Bischoff comes out and he tells Flair that he hates to ruin their plans because A.J. has a match tonight. A.J. will be defending the title in a Four Corners match against Abyss, D’Angelo Dinero, and Desmond Wolfe. Flair does not like that announcement.
Abyss and Hogan hug as we go to Taz and Mike Tenay who talk about Monday night.
We go to the back and Jeremy Borash is with Desmond Wolfe and Chelsea. Wolfe insults Jeremy and then he talks about serendipity and then says that when someone closes a door in his face and he kicks it down. He never made any bones about how he will do anything to win a match, but with the title on the line, he is more motivated. Desmond Wolfe says that with Flair in his corner, A.J. has become immortal. Desmond says that he doesn’t need to beat the man to be the man because he can beat the window licker Abyss or Dinero to be the champion. Chelsea says that she loves Abyss’ ring and she wants it. She says that they should each have some new gold tonight. Desmond says that what Chelsea wants, Chelsea gets.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Eric Bischoff is on the phone with someone who wants to start a football league to compare with the NFL and he calls it a stupid idea. Eric hangs up because the chef is here.
Jeff says that last week in catering, some of the best burgers in TNA history were served by him. Eric says that Jeff must have thick skin. Jeff says that he isn’t going anywhere. Eric says that he likes Jeff’s attitude because he needs to be an exemplary employee to encourage the younger guys. Jeff tells Eric to get back to business and he means wrestling. Eric says that he would love nothing more than to get back to business because he says that things are clogged up. Eric says that he was walking through the halls and says that he smelled something in the men’s room and he was thinking about Jeff. Eric tells Jeff that things are so clogged up in the men’s room that a real pro who can handle any situation no matter how demeaning it is. Eric makes Jeff the TNA janitor in charge. Jeff says that he has been here since day one. He tells Eric that he is looking at TNA’s best janitor.
Match Number One: Motor City Machine Guns versus Generation Me versus James Storm and Robert Roode versus Matt Morgan and Hernandez in a Non Title Match
Sabin and Jeremy start things off with some arm work. Shelley tags in and they hit a series of moves culminating in a drop kick from a Muta lock for a near fall. Shelley stands on Jeremy’s hand and then he works on the arm. Jeremy reverses and he tags in Max who hits a moonsault onto the arm. Jeremy with a double stomp to the arm. Shelley with a discus forearm and Sabin is tagged back in. Sabin is sent into the ropes and Jeremy hits a neck breaker and Max hits a senton. Sabin sends Jeremy to the floor and Hernandez tags in. Hernandez catches Max and does reps over his head and then tosses Max to the mat. Morgan makes the blind tag and Hernandez wonders what is going on. Morgan grabs Max by the throat and he catches Jeremy. Morgan with a boot to James Storm and follows that with a double choke slam. Storm with a super kick and Roode with a rollup for the three count.
Winners: James Storm and Robert Roode
After the match, Hernandez has something to say to Morgan and then he gives Matt his title belt.
Eric Bischoff is in his office and he brings in Sean Morley. He says that he has been trying to break Jeff Jarrett. Eric says that he is going to put Jeff in a match, but he hasn’t told Jeff yet. It will be Jeff Jarrett versus Sean Morley in a No Disqualification Falls Count Anywhere Match. He tells Sean that Jeff can be found in the men’s room.
We see Jeff mopping up the rest room as we go to commercial.
We are back and Kurt enters Hogan’s office. Kurt says that he has a problem. He wants to take care of A.J. and Flair on Monday. Angle says that Hogan has done more for the company since January 4th than in the first seven years. Angle says that what they do now is more important. He wants to take Hogan’s place. Hogan tells Angle that this is his last shot and he wants respect for himself. He wants to be able to look at himself in the mirror. Hogan says that he wants to be part of this. Hogan and Angle shake hands. Angle tells Hogan to be careful.
It is time for Mick Foley’s Etiquette Lesson. First, Mick takes off his teacher’s jacket and then asks him what image he is trying to project and he says a vintage hardcore legend. Foley walks and then gives him some tips on the way he buttons his jacket and his hair style. She tries to get him to stop trying to scare people. There is more to come.
They go into the men’s room and the bell has rung.
Match Number Two: Jeff Jarrett versus Sean Morley in a Falls Count Anywhere No Disqualification Match
Morley ambushes Jeff in the men’s room and they fight into the handicap stall. Morley punches Jeff and then sends him into the shower area. Morley gets a two count. Jeff wants to know what is going on. The referee tells him that this is a match. Morley sends Jarrett into the door and then he closes the door on Jarrett’s shoulder and kicks the door into the arm. Morley gets the three count.
Winner: Sean Morley
Christy Hemme is with D’Angelo Dinero in the interview area and she recaps what has happened to him over the last few weeks. Dinero says that he always ends up on top. He says that they tried to take him out. Dinero also says that the doctor is probably not happy to see him in the building tonight. Christy tells Dinero that he is in the main event for the title in a four way match. Dinero likes what Hogan is doing (even if Bischoff made the match). Dinero says that he has plans for Lockdown, but he will walk out of the Impact Zone as champion tonight. Dinero says that if Flair gets in the way, he will pimp slap Flair.
We go to commercial.
Rob Terry is stretching and bouncing in the back as he gets ready for his match against Doug Williams.
We go back to commercial.
We are back with a British Invasion video package. Now that the empire has suffered some setbacks has the sun set on the British Invasion?
Match Number Three: Doug Williams versus Rob Terry in a Double Non Title Match
Williams slaps Terry but Terry pushes Williams down. Terry grabs Williams by the throat and then he press slams Williams and puts Williams in a bear hug. Williams bites Terry in the head and then Terry with a round kick. Terry tries for a running power slam but Williams tries for Chaos Theory but Terry blocks it. Terry with a choke slam for the three count.
Winner: Rob Terry
After the match, Brutus Magnus comes to the ring and he attacks Terry from behind and he punches Terry. Magnus yells at Terry and then he wants Williams to hold him and Magnus with a boot to the head. Doug and Brutus do their pose.
The medical staff checks on Jarrett but Bischoff comes up behind to hyperextend the shoulder. Jeff wants to know if Bischoff is happy while Eric wants Jeff to punch him. Jeff wants to know what Eric is trying to prove. Jeff says that it wasn’t a match. Jeff says that he is sick of Eric’s crap. He wants to know what Eric wants. Jeff says that he wants a match, but not in a bathroom. Eric says that Jeff is picky. Eric tells Jeff that he can have a match because he will have another match tonight. He tells Jeff to get ready for his match in the ring. Jeff calls Eric a prick.
We see Ken Anderson dressed like Kurt Angle as we go to commercial.
We are back with more of the Etiquette Lesson and it is time for Mick Foley to walk with a book on his head to work on his balance. Now we get to see Foley unbutton his jacket. Now Foley is being asked to help her out with her chair.
We take a look back at the match between Ken Anderson and Kurt Angle at Against All Odds.
It is time for Ken AnderAngle to come up in the AnderAnglevator. Anderson has a medal as well as his ring gear. He says that he is the greatest wrestler in the world today and then he says that it is real . . . damn real. He says that he is also the world’s most injury prone wrestler in the world today. Anglederson has an owie in his head. He says that he broke his neck for the seventeenth time. He runs through the ways that he broke his neck. He says that he has some serious stuff to talk about. He addresses Mr. Anderson and calls him a son of a bi### and then says that he carved up his forehead. Anglederson says that he doesn’t care about the troops. He says that it is a ploy to get their sympathy and to get everyone to think that he is a real swell guy.
Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring and Anderson punches Angle but Angle punches back and hits a clothesline or three. Angle goes after Anderson but Anderson throws a drink in Angle’s face. They return to the ring and the straps come down and Anderson with an Olympic Slam on Angle. Anderson takes Angle’s medal and leaves the ring. We go to commercial.
We are back with a look at the graphic for the title match later tonight. More commercials.
Abyss is walking in the back and he stops to talk to Hulk Hogan. He wants a few minutes of Hogan’s time. Abyss says that there is something he isn’t very proud of. He says that he didn’t have a great childhood and he needs to tell Hogan something. Abyss says that when he was a young boy, he wasn’t allowed to watch television. However, he was able to watch Hogan on television. Abyss says that he begged his mom to take him to the Richfield Coliseum. He says that it was the only thing his mom did for him. He says that the place was electric because of Hogan. Abyss says that he has Hogan’s back. Abyss talks about holding Hogan in his arms with the blood running down his face. Abyss says that the ring encompasses all of the Hulkamaniacs all over the world. He says that he can take care of A.J. and Flair by himself. Hogan asks Abyss if he would ever leave him or push him aside. Hogan says that they are one. Hogan tells Abyss that they are family. Hogan says that everything will be okay. Hogan tells Abyss that the ring is everything that he loved and it is the only thing that ever loved him. Hogan tells Abyss that now that he is the biggest monster in the world, nothing is going to happen to Hogan because Abyss is there to protect him. Hogan says that he didn’t want to take this match but now he knows that everything will be okay. All of the children are being protected by Abyss. Hogan tells Abyss that he is protected now. They are one person and Abyss will keep them safe . . . brother. They hug and say that they love each other.
It is time for a video package for Velvet Sky, Madison Rayne, and Lacey Von Erich and the problems that they have with Angelina Love.
Angelina Love was at a photo shoot outside the soundstage but she was attacked by Madison and Lacey. Velvet joins in and they strap her. Lacey says that Angelina has had enough but Velvet says that it isn’t enough until she says it is enough. She straps Angelina a few more times and says that it is enough. We go to commercial.
We are back and Angelina Love has something to say. She calls Velvet Sky a bleeped word and says that she won’t leave until Velvet comes to the ring.
Velvet comes to the ring with her pink whippin’ belt. Angelina chases after Velvet and Velvet screeches away. Angelina sends Velvet into the ramp and the guardrail. Angelina sends her into the guardrail again. Angelina rolls Velvet into the ring. Angelina with a pump kick. Angelina has the whippin’ belt but Lacey and Madison come to the ring and Madison stands there for Angelina to hit her with the belt. Lacey hits Angelina with the ugly stick and then they hold Angelina for Velvet to whip Angelina.
Bubba the Love Sponge is in the back and he talks about how close he is to Hogan. Bubba tells Terry that he came to TNA for his mind. He calls Hogan a liar. Bubba tells Hogan that he survived his lows and landed on his feet. Hogan says that this business never left him and this is all that he has. Bubba tells Terry not to believe his hype because he has a family and people who love him. Bubba tells Terry not to be a mark for himself.
We go to commercial.
We are back with Part Trois of My Fair Foley. Foley hugs his teacher and she is repulsed.
It is time for a video package to recap the feud between Kevin Nash, Eric Young, and the two guys ‘not under contract’.
We will have comments on Monday from Kevin Nash and Eric Young about this situation.
Match Number Four: Tomko versus Jeff Jarrett
Tomko wants to know how Jarrett’s arm is as Bischoff watches from his office. Tomko with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Tomko works on the arm and shoulder. Jarrett punches Tomko but Tomko with an Irish whip and Tomko misses a charge into the corner. Tomko with an elbow and then he goes to the apron. Tomko wraps Jarrett’s arm in the rope. Jarrett punches Tomko but Tomko drops Jarrett’s arm on the top rope. Jarrett with an enzuigiri and Tomko falls into the ropes and Jarrett with a splash into the back and then Tomko with a clothesline for a two count. Tomko stomps on Jarrett’s arm. Tomko continues to work on the shoulder. Tomko with a divorce court for a two count. Tomko with a key lock but Jarrett punches Tomko. Jarrett with a kick but Tomko tries for a power slam but Jarrett counters with a DDT. Jarrett with punches in the corner but Tomko with a reverse atomic drop and shoulders in the corner. Jarrett with a sunset flip out of the corner for the three count.
Winner: Jeff Jarrett
After the match, we see Eric Bischoff’s reaction in the back and he is not happy.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Eric and Hogan are having a heart to heart talk to make sure that Hogan is doing the right thing on Monday. Eric says that the Hulk Hogan brand is everything for TNA. Eric says that he can’t pull it off if Hogan isn’t there. He wants Hogan to rethink the match on Monday. Hogan wants to know what happens if he doesn’t wrestle on Monday. Hogan says that they are going all the way up together or all the way down together. Hogan says that Eric said he would be behind Hogan. Hogan says that this is a different deal. He says that he has been called out. If he doesn’t make this move and make it right, there is no respect and no tomorrow. Hogan says that he gave Abyss everything he had and then Abyss got punked out. Hogan asks Bischoff what he would do if they did the same thing to his family. Hogan says that they are done. Hogan says that he cannot take any more discussions about it.
Match Number Five: A.J. Styles with Ric Flair versus Desmond Wolfe with Chelsea versus D’Angelo Dinero with a significant limp versus Abyss with his Precious for the TNA Title
Styles and Dinero start things off and Dinero limps to Styles and Styles with a knee. Dinero with a shoulder tackle and then Styles with a leg sweep. Abyss tags in and Styles tags in Wolfe. Wolfe with a sunset flip attempt but Abyss drops down and then he signals for the choke slam. Styles comes off the turnbuckles but Abyss catches him. Abyss with a double clothesline and then he hits a side slam on Wolfe for a near fall. Dinero comes in and he punches Styles and clotheslines him over the top rope while Abyss does the same to Wolfe. We go to commercial.
We are back and Dinero chops Styles and connects with an elbow while Wolfe is sent into the ring steps by Abyss. Back to total nonstop advertisements.
We are back and Abyss punches Wolfe while Styles and Dinero return to the ring and Styles punches Dinero. Abyss misses a clothesline and hits the ring post. Dinero punches Styles and Flair tries to interfere. Styles clips the knee as Dinero stays focused on Flair. Flair hits Dinero in the leg with a chair and the referee is unable to see the chair shot but he can probably hear it while he talks to Styles. Styles with a figure four on Dinero. The referee stops the match since Dinero could not defend himself.
Winner: A.J. Styles
After the match, Flair kicks Dinero and then Wolfe attacks Dinero. Flair kicks Dinero some more and Wolfe hyperextends the knee. Abyss comes into the ring and he punches Styles and Wolfe. Flair gets the barbed wire baseball bat and he hits Abyss in the back with it. Flair continues to hit Abyss with the bat.
Hulk Hogan makes his way to the ring and he punches Flair. Hogan picks up the bat and he hits Flair with it and Flair wears the crimson mask. Styles and Wolfe leave the ring. Hogan hits Flair with the barbed wire bat again and Flair does the Flair flop. Hogan punches Flair and then security comes into the ring and one by one they walk into punches from Hogan. Abyss joins in the attack on Flair. Dave Taylor makes his in ring debut as he tries to calm Hogan down. Pat Kenney gets into the ring too as we go to commercial.
We are back and Hogan says that this is just an example of what is going to happen in four days. Hogan says that blood is going to flow and him and A.J. are going to be history.
Dinero wants them to finish it right now.
We go to credits as the Thursday night Impact era ends.