Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord and this is my Rant Of The Week. As always I am coming to you from the frozen apple that is New York City and the Elimination chamber PPV has happened I can’t help but think it will be really anti-climatic to some. I’m sure there will be plenty of “Worst Wrestlemania main-event” from some, but me personally I’m optimistic. But before we even get to that there are a lot of other bits of news that just have to be commented on by yours truly.
First off a fond farewell to the little company that could…ECW. After years of lingering in a persistent vegetative state and making a miraculous recovery like Steven Segal in “Hard To Kill”, time caught up it and it died a peaceful yet uneventful death last week.
I think it’s only fitting that ECW is laid to rest in a Kiss Kasket. I mean sure you could get something made out of fine wood or perhaps something you could store nuclear waste in…but why not go out in style. ECW had a long tumultuous life and it’s time for it to finally be at peace. The company that was officially born when Shane Douglas threw down the NWA Title and told them all that they could kiss his ass is now finally gone. To be safe it might be smart to take it out to the Joshua Tree Park and torch ECW like Graham Parsons was by his best friend. All it could take is Vince having a mood swing and thinking to himself “YOU KNOW WHAT, WE HAVEN’T BLED THIS FOR ALL IT’S WORTH YET”. But for now it appears ECW is going into deep storage in the WWE vaults because the brain trust have come up with a “new and exciting concept” called WWE NXT.
NXT is supposed to be sort of like Tough Enough and The Ultimate Fighter…only scripted. There are eight pros and eight rookies all vying to make it to the WWE.
So far these are the parings for the show.
Chris Jericho & Wade Barrett
Matt Hardy & Justin Gabriel (probably Justin Angel with a new name)
William Regal & Skip Sheffield
Carlito & Michael Tarver
The Miz & Daniel Bryan
Christian & Heath Slater
CM Punk & Darren Young
R-Truth & David Otunga
The most interesting paring is The Miz and Daniel Bryan a.k.a. The American Dragon Bryan Danielson. You could hear the collective groans from some when Danielson was renamed, but you would think a war crime was committed when he was paired up with The Miz. Of course all the haters are missing the big picture that it’s all about story telling and Bryan as the Indy tested rookie being paired up with The Miz who will show him how to “make it” will be all kinds of fun.
On the WWE Universe site, The Miz posted a MONEY blog about all of this and if you haven’t read it you really should.
http://fans.wwe.com/themiz/blog/2010/02/18/mentoring_daniel_bryan_on_wwe_nxt
If this were on television it would be a promo of the year. Miz put in place everyone who thinks this is a bad idea. I think it was a brilliant idea to put The Miz with him. It’s all about television segments and considering how on FIRE The Miz has been for the last year I have no doubt he’s segments will be the highlights of the show.
Another sure to be highlight is the pairing of William Regal and Skip Sheffield. Skip is the former Ryan Reeves. He is one of the people from the last Tough Enough who are still around simple because he’s a giant muscle head. Originally in FCW he was doing some sort of Terminator gimmick but as things tend to be in the WWE, someone got bored with that and said “hey why not have him as a goofy singing cowboy”. So Ryan becomes Skip and he has some gimmick where he gets the crowd to chant YIP YIP YIP with him. Just picture Regal and the look of disgust after the first YIP is uttered.
CM Punk has an interesting guy in Darren Young. I say he’s interesting because well look at him.
The guy looks like a black John Cena or at least John Cena if he was in a tanning bed that was set to oven roast. I was hoping the first thing CM Punk would do is “guess what kid your joining the SES” and breaks out the clippers. No one ever said being straight edge had to be a voluntary thing. It was hilarious though to see the look of distain and contempt that CM Punk had for this kid. The “I don’t even know why I’m here” promo he did was awesome. Punk becoming the prick everyone knows that he is has been so awesome for Smackdown and I can’t wait for what’s going to happen next with him and Darren Young.
Punk: Come on guys just ignore him
After watching the show, if there is anyone who will be a break out star for the WWE it has to be David Otunga. My God this guy gets the kind of publicity Vince would kill for with anyone else. The “I’m from Hollywood, Went to Harvard, and Met the President…Twice” bit was really awesome. I just hope his skills in the ring match up those outside the ring. His match with Darren Young was short and sweet which is how Vince likes it for guys he obviously sees dollar signs in. I don’t know about the rest of the guys on this show, but they really have their work cut out for them to compete with Bryan and Otunga.
The only thing I didn’t like about NXT was there was none of the innovative & revolutionary concepts that they kept hyping. It was pretty much any other WWE show just with new people on it. There’s supposed to be “a unique combination of heart-stopping entertainment and gritty behind-the-scenes reality” but like I said, I haven’t seen it. If they wanted to do reality they could have probably just taped it down at the Florida Championship Wrestling facility. It sure would be cheaper then taking everyone on the road but I’m not complaining. The dynamics between the pro’s and rookies have been good so far so that’s all you can ask for. I just wish Fit Finlay were involved with this instead of say R-Truth. The Truth looked so damn ridiculous doing that stupid rap and his equally stupid dancing to the ring. I just can’t take Killings seriously because of that stupid intro of his. I can only hope at some point this season Otunga gets annoyed with The Truth dragging him down and he beats him senseless.
One thing that everyone will enjoy on this show is the glory of Michael Cole as a prick. We got a taste of it during the Daniel Bryan/Chris Jericho match where Cole was running down the Internet and mocking Daniel for being a star in front fifty people.
There are people within WWE right now who are trying to say that the interaction between Michael Cole and Josh Matthews on WWE NXT this week was a shoot but some are skeptical. Joey Styles backed this up on Twitter as he “assured us” that the commentating between Cole and Lawler was “very real.” Styles said that Cole “lives in the WWE bubble.”
Credit to PWInsider.com
It’s really great to see the WWE using this for fodder on television. Michael Cole as he is on RAW is one of the most boring announcers ever. You can tell the guy has no passion for what he is doing and I only imagine he does it because the money is pretty damn good. Well of course the money is good…that goes with out saying. But Michael Cole as a prick and putting down the Internet and the Indies was just great. I can only hope he brings this to the table during RAW. It would finally make RAW somewhat interesting again.
Speaking of RAW, it has been very hit or miss lately. While there has been some great stuff like the feud building with HBK and The Undertaker, the rest has been so-so to be honest. It doesn’t matter what show HBK/Taker is on because it will be amazing no matter what. But the rest of the show has been very hit or miss. What should have been the biggest angle with Bret vs. Vince seems to have lost its steam. Now I only hope this is a temporary thing, but it appears they are building to Cena vs. Batista with Bret and Vince in the respective corners. I won’t mind if that does happen, but honestly I saw no need for the WWE title to be involved. I might be in the minority here on the Internet, but I was enjoying the hell out of Sheamus’s run as WWE Champion. Yes it was to soon for him to be champion…but he was making the most of it. So now with the WWE title on Batista, Sheamus is S.O.L. so to speak. Rumor has it he and Triple H will be having a match at Wrestlemania, but even if Triple H does like him it still will be a kick wham pedigree…thanks for coming.
With Bret and Vince that was at least something a lot of us thought we would never see happen. Personally I think too much is made of Bret Hart and his condition. People at like Bret would have to work a match at 200% or something. First off if there is some sort of match with Vince…HE’S FACING VINCE. All of Vince’s matches revolve around punches, kicks, and occasional wrestling moves so Vince can pose and strut to the crowd. I think it’s been so long that people have forgotten the miracle worker Bret is even in the worst of circumstances.
Bret Hart had a match on a Monday Nitro against Will Sasso. Yes fat guy who used to be on Mad TV…That Will Sasso. Bret managed to make that five minutes of weirdness on Nitro work so who is to doubt him here. No one is expecting him to do superplexes off the top rope or anything major. It’s like I said before, all Bret really has to do is kick Vince right in the balls and then lock on the sharpshooter. Bret gets to end the wrong of Montreal and everyone goes home happy.
Speaking of Batista, it’s amazing how much of a 180 he has done since become a full fledged heel again. I like to refer to him as Kanyetista since it’s pretty clear Batista has become the WWE’s version of Kanye West. The outlandish fashion sense he has only confirms this theory for me. I am all for Batista being an egomaniacal bastard. As a face to say he was bland would do a disservice to the word bland. Batista’s heel turn could be one of the best things for the WWE in a while.
Now one of the best things that might happen to the WWE in the long run is TNA moving to Monday nights on March 8th. Yes the egos of Hogan, Bischoff, and Carter believe TNA can compete on Monday nights and to tell you the truth I think there is the potential for them to do so. As I mentioned before when it comes to Monday Night RAW, most of the show is hit or miss. If one were to break it down into percentages I would guess about 70% of the show is miss right now. It’s boring as hell and equally predictable no matter what. TNA while going full force into recreating WCW in the late 90’s is at least not boring. All the pieces are dare I say finally in place for TNA to prove the doubters wrong. There is potential for TNA to chip away at the RAW audience. While I doubt we’ll see any ratings wars like in the good old days, it’s not out of the question for in a few months time for TNA to reach the illusive 1.5 mark if not higher.
RAW has been on cruise control for the last decade. McMahon is way past the point of taking the audience for granted. People just show up and watch with out question for the most part. Well TNA have all the tools for people to take a look at it and say, “hey you know this isn’t half bad, at least Cena isn’t doing his superman act”.
I know a lot of people are pissed with the pairing of Ric Flair and AJ Styles, but to be honest this has been the most interesting AJ has been in years. Flair has breathed new life into him as AJ is a low rent version of Flair. Some say Flair is becoming the new JJ Dillon well if that’s the case then AJ is the new Tully Blanchard. It would be cool if TNA got Tully to come in and do something. I mean if your going to bring in some old guy then why not bring in someone who can work some magic. Tully has his head on straight after years of living the lifestyle. How awesome would it be to see Tully come in and cut a money promo on AJ talking about how Flair is going to destroy him with the path he’s leading him on.
I’m sure I could fantasy book it from there, but I don’t like giving away my good idea’s for free. My point is though there is a lot that can be done with Flair and AJ and the current feud that is being built with The Pope has been pretty damn good. Dare I say TNA might actually build up a World Title match on a PPV that people are going to want to buy and see.
That’s been TNA’s biggest problem for the longest time now. They for the life of them cannot get people to order their ppv’s. We ordered the Against All Odds PPV and I thought it was actually pretty damn good. I think it’s a mistake that they charge $34.95 but aside from that it was a rather solid show. TNA has always had solid PPV’s for the most part, but they just can’t get anyone to order them. Uncle Eric probably has a plan to work on this problem and I really hope they do because there have been some great matches on these PPV’s and it’s a shame no one ever sees them.
Since I brought up the topic of PPV prices, the WWE’s are now up to $44.95. I have one small issue with them if they are going to charge this much and expect people order these shows.
Can you people please put some damn effort into these shows? By effort I mean book them in advance and not throw together half the damn card three days before the show or have unannounced matches during the live show. It’s just a little issue I have with them. I mean The Miz and MVP had been building up to a title match and the WWE throws it on the PPV with out even mentioning anything. The Miz has been on fire the last few months so maybe it would have been nice to use that to ones advantage to have him build a match on the show.
It would just be nice to know what’s on the card in advance. Of course this would mean they would have to abandon the three-week crash and burn system they have going now where it’s a PPV then three weeks of TV and another PPV. I do find it funny that the WWE is naming all their PPV’s after gimmicks on the show now. The Survivor Series is gone but in its place is WWE INSERT GIMMICK MATCH NAME HERE.
On the plus side since Vince is running out of ideas some old WCW ones will be coming out of mothballs including possibly Battlebowl, Spin The Wheel…Make The Deal, and War Games. Personally if you are running out of PPV names why not just bring back Starrcade? It would be a lot better then WWE Tables, Ladders, and Chairs in the month of December.
Its ironic War Games might be finally coming back and it’s in an era where there can’t be a drop of blood. It was like that in the mid 90’s as well and for the most part those War Games matches sucked. Maybe we can get a War Games retrospective DVD if it does indeed come back. It would be nice to see all of the War Games matches in one collection…especially 1997’s War Games. I’ve never seen that one and I would like to. I don’t know if any tape exists but it would be cool if some of the ultra rare house shows War Games matches were some how included. Apparently back in the late 80’s and early 90’s NWA/WCW would do War Games matches in some markets so those must have been fun to see live like that. So who knows but maybe buried deep in the WCW archive might be a couple of those matches. The promos for them exist, so one can hope for those as well.
Well I think I am done for this week. Honestly I do try to write these things sooner but sometimes it’s hard to keep on a regular schedule when you don’t find anything interesting. But Chris Jericho is taking on Edge at Wrestlemania so at least Smackdown will continue to be the best show in all of wrestling. CM Punk continues to be amazing as he dances a fine line of blasphemy and I hope he goes into Wrestlemania with something more this year then being in Money In The Bank.
Hopefully I will be back sooner rather then later with my next column. So until then take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.
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