(In light of Ken Anderson’s recent post on ‘The Heyman Hustle’, I almost canceled out this article altogether. Unfortunately, I’ve come down with a bad case of writer’s block, and this is really the best I have to offer. Ugh, I’m not selling this article to you, the reader, very well am I? I’ll shut my mouth now…)
Ladies and gentlemen… from Burke, Virginia… Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr… BHATIAAAAAAA……
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BHATIAAAAA!
Welcome back to this edition of Neil’s Highlight Reel. I was —> <— close to never returning from my cruise and becoming an illegal immigrant in the beautiful city of Freeport, Bahamas. But foreign customs outwitted me yet again – damn those party-poopers. So here I am, ready to get back into it.
It has been reported that Mr. Anderson aka Mr. Kennedy got back into ring with Umaga just a little while ago… unfortunately it was all for a promotion outside of the WWE, but it’s all gravy. Anyhow, a video that surfaced on Youtube revealed that Mr. Kennedy was, at least for that one night, granted the right to use the name Mr. Kennedy, as he used that moniker the same way he always has during his match intro. This video made me pitch a tent in my pants had me excited because I thought that maybe, just maybe, S.T.U.P.I.D. finally lightened up (check my previous articles if you don’t get that acronym) and let Ken Anderson have the name back. But another video I found shortly after this one conflicted with that, as seemingly before the match during an autograph session, my dreamy soul mate favorite wrestler claimed he was now to be known by his real name, Mr. Anderson.
So what am I, a 14-year-old-fangirl-stuck-in-the-body-of-a-23-year-old-male, supposed to think? To which name will my hero be returning with in just over a month? Here are the possibilities:
Sr. Kennedy – Only in countries where the lawns stay mowed… just kidding! God it’s fun to be brown + racist… it’s a good way to keep you all on your toes. Besides, I’m 100% sure the Webmaster for this site wet his pants when he read that, and any obscene sayings that can potentially wet the webmaster’s pants are alright in my book.
Mr. Kennedy-Kennedy – The only issue I can see with this is, when ring announcers, play-by-play guys, backstage interviewers, and other wrestlers have to say the name themselves, it won’t sound good since they’ll all be saying it twice. And considering Mr. Kennedy is the only person who should be saying the name so nice it needs to be said twice, it would lose its je ne sais quois.
Mr. Kenedy – No I’m not retarded… I know that is an ‘n’ short, and your reaction to that name is exactly why this version wouldn’t work in the least. It looks awful, and selling merchandise with this moniker on it would be a disaster.
Mr. Anderson – Don’t do it Ken. Don’t do it! The name “Mr. Anderson” only belongs in green-screen movies with Keanu Reeve’s lifeless face!
Mr. Kenneday – This is the one. It can be pronounced exactly as it was in the WWE by fans and wrestlers alike, plus it doesn’t look bad at all on paper. Sadly, it doesn’t look like Ken will be keeping any form of Mr. Kennedy, but I’ll keep my fingers crossed just in case.
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