Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord and this is my Rant Of The Week. As always I am coming to you from the urban slum that is Brooklyn, New York and boy it has been a fun week in the world of wrestling to say the least. It started off with Vince doing his best to embarrass himself in the mainstream media and it has ended with a shocking release. You have to really love when this sort of stuff does happen. For me personally, I look at it as a small token from the wrestling god’s saying “here’s something to write about”. My biggest problem as most of you probably know by now is I don’t find much in wrestling that interesting anymore and because of that my interest in doing this column on a more frequent basis is so so at best. I mean I do try to do it as frequently as possible, but if there’s nothing to really peak my interest then I’m not going to bother. As I’ve said before I just don’t have it in me anymore to write about mundane stuff. No matter what anyone ever says about me (and I have my detractors), you can always say I am upfront, honest and most of all I do not bullshit you.
So with that in mind lets get this thing started and we start off by firing up the old Drudge Siren because we have Breaking News.
OH NOES!!!
From the propaganda arm of the WWE
World Wrestling Entertainment has come to terms on the release of Raw Superstar Mr. Kennedy (Ken Kennedy) as of today, May, 29 2009. WWE wishes Ken the best in all future endeavors
Credit to WWE.com
This was a bit of a shocker earlier tonight as I was gathering up things to write a column on. Of all the people they could release in the WWE right now, this one is way out of left field. Mr. Kennedy had a upside of being a huge star for them. He could talk, was pretty over with the crowds, and is some what decent in the ring. For most wrestling companies, I’m sure they would say he’s a can’t miss guy. But he was very injury prone and that took it’s toll on him.
Source: F4WOnline.com and PWInsider.com
As we reported earlier, Mr. Kennedy was officially released from WWE today. This is coming as a shock to many. Kennedy had returned to RAW on Monday after rehabbing from a badly injured shoulder. Kennedy ended up injuring his wrist after taking a RKO from Randy Orton. It is being reported that Randy Orton & Kennedy had words backstage after RAW went off the air, it wasn’t heated, but that Orton told him he had to be careful out there so he wouldn’t injure anyone in the ring. There wasn’t any other complaints backstage.
A possibility of a reason why Kennedy was released was the pull that Orton has with Vince McMahon. The word is that McMahon was not happy with Kennedy’s performance on RAW. Another possibility is that because he is injury prone, and WWE wouldn’t be able to capitalize on their work on his character.
I can all ready see the Interweb churning with the headlines of TRIPLE H CREATED A MONSTER. I’m sure Randy probably has a level of stroke in the company, but I don’t think it’s quite enough to get someone canned. Manu maybe but not Kennedy. Kennedy was someone they could have him feud with for a good long while (provided neither gets injured) so it had to be something else that caused him to suddenly get released. If I had to guess the most likely possibility is after Kennedy hurt his wrist the other night, people with in the WWE panicked and convinced Vince that Kennedy was a liability and they should get rid of him now rather then give him a huge push only to get hurt and be out another six months or so. Looking back at the video, it didn’t really look that bad the back suplex that Kennedy gave Orton, but with some of these guys being as brittle as they are I can see why a hard suplex like that would freak Orton out. I hope Kennedy can come back someday because it would be pretty stupid to let someone like him just walk into TNA’s arms (then again maybe that is their plan…).
Vince: THAT’S RIGHT, THAT HAS BEEN MY PLAN ALL ALONG. RELEASE PEOPLE AND DESTROY TNA FROM THE INSIDE OUT. WHY DO YOU THINK THE ENTIRE MAIN EVENT SCENE IS POPULATED WITH MY CASTOFFS.
Seriously though, on Mr. Kennedy’s official website he posted a small video demonstrating that once again he is not injured and he has full range of motion with both of his wrists. Watching something like this shows me that the WWE really missed the boat with Kennedy. He can portray such an arrogant little prick and wrestling needs more guys like that. Sure there are plenty of guys who try to be pricks or might just be pricks, but very few of them can translate it into a character that actually works. Kennedy was one of the few in the WWE that can pull it off and now that he’s gone the WWE has lost someone big.
MOAR BREAKING NOOZ!!!
There’s a ton of new info on the whole Kennedygate situation. While young Randal might have bitched about Kennedy dropping him on his bum shoulder in that match, it appears some unnamed superstars spoke to Vince when Vince was in a pissy mood and that was the deciding factor in Kennedy being canned.
Credit: F4WOnline.com
There has been a lot of speculation regarding Randy Orton’s role in the release of Mr. Kennedy from WWE this week. While a heated discussion went down backstage between Randy Orton and Kennedy following last week’s RAW taping, Orton actually had nothing to do with Kennedy being fired. Later that evening, two major WWE stars (who were not fans of Kennedy) went to Vince McMahon and took the opportunity to express their feelings. Vince McMahon, who was already said to be in a very bad mood after the dispute over Denver and the NBA, made the decision on the plane ride home to send Kennedy packing. The word is that McMahon considers Kennedy to be reckless, still green as a worker, clueless when it came to business instincts, and was a huge liability. Reportedly no one in WWE creative or talent relations felt the need to speak up for Kennedy.
Many sources have described this as a situation where McMahon was already stressed out with the Denver situation that having to deal with Kennedy made things even worse and that Kennedy was the result of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. McMahon was said to be so upset that he wasn’t even considering working with Kennedy in the future and made that clear to those around him. While many feel he will eventually cool off, one WWE source added, “I cannot condemn the way the office handled this termination at all. He was reckless with his mouth and at other times with his in-ring.” It should also be noted that two other major WWE stars also buried Kennedy to McMahon and WWE officials saying they hated working with him and “thought he was horrible and clumsy.”
This story is getting better by the day and it really shows how inept the WWE especially Vince is. Vince is a moody little bastard basically and because of that he makes horrible decisions. I’m sure there will be much speculation as to who these “superstars” were that talked to Vince…coughTripleHcough. If I had to guess, I would almost be certain by the word major it’s either Batista or John Cena. I can see Cena being the backstabbing type secretly. He might come off as Howdy Doody and Captain America, but for him to be the new Hulk Hogan you have to assume he has some of those same qualities as The Hulkster.
Think about that for a second. Much like Hogan he’s the top face of the decade, he’s moving onto making shitty movies, and with in time all the kids who have Mommy and Daddy buy all his merchandise will turn on him because he just isn’t cool anymore. The Dude’s going to have to protect his spot and Mr. Kennedy when he is on and healthy is easily one of the top faces the WWE has. He’s the kind of face the real audience wants to get behind. Not the fake kind that you have in John Cena and Batistama.
John Cena seriously needs an image make over. His whole never say die/OVER COMING THE ODDS thing just gets lamer by the week. It’s a shame The Big Show will probably have to tap out to him at that pay per view thing they have next week.
Speaking of that, another PPV? Jesus didn’t they just have one like two weeks ago and before that another two weeks before it?
So this PPV is a week away and they have a final card of sorts for it.
WWE Championship
Randy Orton vs. Batista (steel cage match)
World Heavyweight Championship
Edge vs. Jeff Hardy (ladder match)
Intercontinental Championship
Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho (no holds barred match)
ECW Championship
Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. Tommy Dreamer (hardcore rules match)
US Championship
Kofi Kingston vs. William Regal vs. MVP vs. Matt Hardy
Miss WrestleMania
Vickie Guerrero vs. Santina (hog pen match)
John Cena vs. Big Show (submission match)
CM Punk vs. Umaga (Samoan strap match)
Is the PPV worth ordering and worth the $39.95 that they charge for these things?
…
For me personally the answer is no as usual. At the very most there are only three matches on this card I would want to see and that’s Rey vs. Jericho, the ECW three way, and the train wreck that will be the Hog Pen Match. Well maybe four if you count Cena/Big Show IF and I mean IF The Big Show makes him tap. They said last night a knockout counts as a submission. That’s bullshit so you know The Big Show would probably win that way just so Captain America doesn’t have to tap out and dare I say look weak (as if he doesn’t all ready character wise).
The Big Show is all kinds of awesome right now and he deserves a huge win over Cena, but I doubt he will get it.
PWNED
&
HUMBLED…OLD COUNTRY WAY
As for the rest of this PPV, it reminds me so much of WCW Uncensored it’s not even funny. Back then WCW promised a PPV that was unsanctioned, unsupervised, and uncensored. What you got was really just a typical pre-n.w.o. Ppv with some shitty gimmicks attached to it; though we did get to see Dustin/Blacktop Bully in the King Of The Road match and Finlay/Regal beat the piss out of each other. I think the great Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl with Harlem Heat vs. The Nasty Boys was on one of those Uncensored shows. But at the most it’s three or four good matches or matches I would at least call memorable.
.
Extreme Rules is in the same league as Uncensored because you get maybe one or two good matches and the rest are forgettable and to make things worse, everything that you would expect from something with the name EXTREME in it…well its not there. No blood, no violence, no scantly clad women, no nothing.
I bring this up because for the past few months, the WWE has been TV PG meaning it’s a “family friendly” product. For the most part I have been able to tolerate this family friendly stuff but I think I have reached my breaking point. It really is ruining the overall product especially when a month ago we were supposed to buy that John Cena survived being thrown into a 7,000 WATT SEARCHLIGHT. You have to emphasize 7,000 WATT to get the full effect.
Seriously though, with all of the big feuds they have been doing especially the ones that have involved severe bodily harm to people how the hell can it not have blood or violence in it. Well in case you are wondering, the WWE has apparently put in place guidelines for what can’t be done on television.
With Linda McMahon apart of the Connecticut State Board of Education, she has started to make even more changes with PG Rating.
* There is to strictly be NO blood
* Very Little Sexuality (Except for some comedy Skits)
* No threatening or serious Violence
* To Deliver a More clean and Wholesome family product
The main reason for this is to not have it all backfire and thrown back at her by rival politicians
I love how Linda McMahon went to all of this trouble for what is a fluff job. Basically something that looks good on a resume or in her case a press release. As it is most of these kinds of jobs are usually political appointments given to people who either contributed heavily to a campaign/party or as payback for political favors. Either way its a job more for show then anything else.
Now before anyone gets into a tizzy and says I am blowing this out proportion, yes I understand this is the WWE. I’m not expecting a lot from them to begin with. But when you have steel cage matches and people will be beaten from side to side and such, the least you can do is have some friggin blood. A steel cage match without blood is like peanut butter without jelly. You need one with the other it’s just that simple. And for there to be no blood at all is just wrong. I’m not saying there has to be blood baths like say JBL vs. Eddie Guerrero where Eddie almost bled to death, but when you have a match that warrants blood then have it.
Now the other parts of this edict are pretty damn funny. The one I got a huge laugh from was the very little sexuality except for comedy skits part.
I would love to know what exactly is the current WWE definition of sexuality and what exactly is kosher for a “comedy sketch”. I guess having Santino Marella dress up in drag and constantly calling Vickie Guerrero a fat pig would be their definition of “comedy”. Don’t get me wrong, the whole Santina/Vickie saga has been funny as hell as Vickie and Santino can do no wrong. But you just have to love the people that get their jollies by calling the widow of one of their most beloved stars a fat pig any chance they get. Perhaps someone should ask Linda McMahon about that one and see what she says. I’m sure you would get the standard “oh it’s just a character and it’s not meant to be personal” line from them.
It is funny though about the sexuality stuff because the Diva’s have never looked hotter and they use this new slogan of “Sexy, Smart, & Powerful” to market them.
I have nothing witty to say, I just felt like posting this pic
Personally I can’t figure out why they have two separate titles for the women when they barely have enough competent women who can wrestle for one show much less two. I know I’ve mentioned that before, but it really bears repeating. They merged the WWE and World tag team titles so why not do that with the Diva and Women’s title. The Undertaker’s Old Lady will end up winning both belts anyway at some point.
The third bullet point is really funny considering some of the stuff they do to further angles. Would someone please explain to me what the hell “No Threatening or serious violence” is?
I’m from New York so would it be something like…well perhaps it’s best I don’t give an example since this fine website seems to censor curses so it wouldn’t make much sense to have a paragraph filled with partial words and phrases. But if it’s anything like the good old days with say Flair, The Horsemen, and some crowbars then I can guess what we are missing.
But you have Randy Orton who’s whole gimmick is he has no problem with kicking people in the head to take them out and probably on a psychological level he gets off on it (as evident by his euphoric look after punting Flair). So its really hypocritical in their part to say no serious or threatening violence when one of the top guys has a gimmick where he does nothing but that. I guess this also means Legacy can’t do any beatdowns, Edge can’t do The Conchairto, The Big Show throwing people into 7,000 WATT SEARCHLIGHTS, and other things we’ve come to expect the heels of the WWE to do over the years. Seriously no serious or threatening violence is pretty damn vague when it comes down to it.
Ah but my favorite one is “To Deliver a More clean and Wholesome family product”. Now I am old enough to remember the WWE back in the early 90’s and the words clean and wholesome conjur up memories of that. If the WWE had someone like Bret Hart that they could get behind, I could maybe tolerate it again. But its 2009 and I dread a return to the bland kind of programming there was back then. Things are stale and predictable right now so if this goes any further I can only imagine how much worse things would get. The only saving grace at the moment is Smackdown since it’s a “Wrestling” show for them. As it is though I find Smackdown lately to be boring as hell because the main event is so stale especially with Edge by himself. Why they split him and Vickie up I will never know. Hell if they wanted to do that soap opera stuff, they could have booked a whole damn angle around Edge and The Big Show scheming for her affection.
I really don’t know anymore. I think after last Monday night, I’m more interested in seeing Ric Flair reforming The Horsemen to (unlikely I know) to go after Randy and Legacy then Batista and his over acting while Randy looks like he just jizzed his pants. People complain that they don’t want to see Flair wrestle anymore, but we all would mark the hell out if a limo pulled up to the arena and Tully and Arn came out with Baseball bats in hand looking for Orton.
Oh wait we can’t do that…that would be serious or threatening violence. We wouldn’t want to upset all the kiddies. Well not so much the kiddies, just the focus groups who ruin everything by saying “it needs less of this and more of that”.
Well there is this news tidbit I just read which I assume is from The Wrestling Observer or the Torch or Insider.
WWE’s plan right now is that RAW will be heavy with skits and non-wrestling segments, while ECW will have something like one non-wrestling segment per show. SmackDown wiill be a mix but will mostly be shot in front of the live audience with less pre-taped or backstage segments.
See that’s what I was just saying. Smackdown is the wrestling show but the WWE is in a pissy mood because Smackdown gets horrible ratings. First off its on My Network TV so its not like its going to be pulling huge numbers to begin with. Secondly its on a Friday night and the 18-34 demo the WWE goes after tends to be out on Friday nights. But for some of us we have this thing called a DVR and if we are inclined to we’ll record it and watch it later. DVR’ing stuff is great because you can fast forward through all the commercials and most of the crap.
The WWE is into gloating about how they are number one in some obscure rating so maybe they should focus on that. The ratings for Smackdown might be bad, but who knows maybe the number of DVR’s is through the roof for it. Personally I think as I said before the reason why ratings are down is because things are just very boring. There is a great angle with Chris Jericho and Rey Mysterio right now but it’s technically the mid card angle of the show. Those two should be feuding over the world title not the Intercontinental title. I like Edge and I respect the hell out of Jeff Hardy, but that feud isn’t exactly making me want to tune in or even DVR the show.
I think I am almost done, but before I got I might as well throw in some random thoughts about TNA which is actually some what interesting again for once.
Mick Foley has been on fire as TNA World Champion/Power hungry in control “executive shareholder”. I thought it was a cop out that Jarrett didn’t lose his shares of control at Sacrifice, but they made up for it last week when Mick said in order for him to be a great champion he will only defend the title once a year. I really hope he retains it past King Of The Mountain so they can go somewhere with that. Imagine an angle that TNA would have to build up for months and months as Mick ducks challengers until he’s good and ready to defend the title. It would be heel work not seen in a really long time.
I’m glad Mick is doing something worth while again because for a while it really looked like he made a mistake going to TNA. The only logical thing TNA can do is build up to a Foley title defense against either Samoa Joe or AJ Styles. Of course knowing them they would end up doing Foley vs. Jarrett because Jarrett is desperate to put the belt back on himself to relive the hell that was Jarrettamanaia in 2004-2006.
In a random bit of news, TNA brought back Raven and Shane Douglas like it was no big thing. Raven is apparently going to be re-teaming with Stevie Richards to torment Abyss and Shane Douglas will be doing his best bitter old guy act as he feuds with DANIELS because TNA didn’t give him a second chance. I am a huge fan of both Raven and Douglas so I’m happy to see them back. Raven I’m sure is happy when he gets a check to do next to nothing and God knows in TNA there sure is a lot of that in the lower card. Shane Douglas on the other hand is going to also do the “I have something left to prove” angle which in reality is true because apparently its been said he realizes this could be his last chance at glory in the ring. If TNA turns it self into mid 90’s ECW then I’m all for it. I mean it can’t be any worse then them being late 90’s WCW now can it.
My all time favorite female wrestler Victoria showed up in TNA as well last week. She beat the hell out of The Beautiful People so seeing her and Angelina Love go at it will be tremendous. Angelina is by far one of the best heels TNA has and if Victoria portrays the psycho bitch (and I mean that in a good way) that she when she first came to the WWE to feud with Trish Stratus then perhaps the Knockouts division will get back some its former Glory. Of course they wouldn’t need to if they never let Gail Kim walk in the first place. I swear I will never forgive them for that one especially since Gail is in limbo on Smackdown.
I was also glad to see ODB and Cody Deaner back on television. Damn I love those two and you have to love when TNA Creative (two words combined that can’t make sense) says they have nothing for them. ODB and Cody could be a money couple for them. They can do all that crapy comedy TNA loves and the fans are behind them. It seems like a no brainer to me to push them and I hope they do.
On a final note it was reported that Samoa Joe has some broken fingers and a torn triceps. I hope it is not that serious and that he won’t be out action for to long. TNA is waiting for Taz’s no compete clause to finish so they can bring him in as the mystery advisor for Samoa Joe. Last week Joe said he was going to take out The Mafia one by one till he got to Kurt Angle because he was ordered to kill him. Sting is exempt from the Nation Of Violence for some reason so he doesn’t have to worry about Joe. You would think since Sting is now “The Don” of The Mafia, he would be tops on Joe’s list but apparently Kurt is. I never could figure out why they made Kurt the leader. He was clearly Sonny to Sting’s Don Vito. Well we shall see where it all leads, knowing TNA in a month from now I’ll be cursing and screaming about how they screwed up something yet again but who knows maybe this time they won’t.
So with that I am done for this week. Hopefully I will be back sooner next time but I make no promises as usual. We’ll see what the aftermath of that PPV thing is and go from there. So until next time take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.
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