Full Credit: Wade Keller, PWTorch.com
KELLER’S WWE RAW REPORT
APRIL 20, 2009
TAPE-DELAYED FROM THE U.K.
AIRED ON USA NETWORK
[Q1]
-Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler hyped the main event of Triple H vs. Randy Orton in a no DQ match.
-Chris Jericho made his way to the ring from the scaled-down overseas tour version of the Raw set. Cole plugged the release of “The Wrestler” on DVD tomorrow. Jericho opened by saying for the past year he’s felt like a castaway on an island with cheaters, liars, sycophants, and parasites. He said he doesn’t feel that way anymore because last week he was drafted to Smackdown and this is his final appearance on Raw ever. The crowd cheered. He said the fans never appreciated his brilliance or understood why he was superstar of the year. He said he’s an honest man in a dishonest world. He said as the fans wallow in their deceitfulness and he will move on to better things. He said within six months, the fans will be begging him to return to Raw, but he won’t because he’s done. This might make more sense if there was some sort of regional tie to the brands, but since it’s just as likely every fan in the building will be at a Smackdown house show as a Raw house show in the next year, or watch Raw or Smackdown any given week, it just doesn’t work as well as it could. Ricky Steamboat’s entrance music played and he walked to the ring in a suit.
Steamboat entered the ring and approached Jericho. He said, “Chris Jericho, you are wrong.” He said the WWE audience isn’t unappreciative because they showed him so much appreciation at WrestleMania. He said WrestleMania week the fans showed him more appreciation than he could have dreamed of. He said it was the greatest moments of his wrestling career. He said if the fans won’t appreciate him, he will. “Thank you,” he said.
Jericho peered at him and said, “What are you talking about?” Steamboat said he brought him back to a moment he thought he’d never have again – a passion to perform one more time. He said he never thought he’d be at a WrestleMania or a Raw again in the ring. He said if it wasn’t for Jericho, it would have never happened. (We’re seeing a few signs of Steamboat’s strengths and weaknesses as a promo guy. He’s sincere and likable, but his syntax gets a little messy sometimes and he stumbles a bit mid-sentence.)
Jericho said Steamboat came out to hear the cheers of the fans one more time. He said, “Let me remind you that you are finished; nobody cares about you anymore.” He said his friends Jimmy Snuka, Roddy Piper, and Mickey Rourke haven’t been heard from since he destroyed them at WrestleMania. He said Steamboat may think he still has it just because the fans chanted “You still got it!” during a ten man tag match in which he wrestled for about 30 seconds, but the fans are delusional and he’s delusional. He said he wants a one-on-one match against him at Backlash. “I’m gonna finish you off, Steamboat, if you accept the challenge.” He asked if he accepted the challenge. At that moment, John Cena’s music played.
Cena walked out to his music with the World Title wrapped around his waist. Jericho said he knows Cena’s schtick and he’s not going to let him talk about what a great person Steamboat is and kiss up to the fans. He said he’s finished with him and with the fans and with Raw, so his last act on Raw is going to be to walk out on him. He began to leave the ring. The fans sang good bye to him. Lawler said the fans aren’t very upset about Jericho leaving. Steamboat told Jericho: “On your challenge, I accept.” Jericho smiled, but didn’t turn around. He kept walking to the back. Cena then jumped in and said the reason he came out is to deliver a message. He said Vickie Guerrero wasn’t there tonight and he’s happy about that. He said Edge will not compete tonight. Why would he? He’s a Smackdown wrestler. Cena said Vickie said Cena has to compete. He said Jericho’s actual last act on Raw will be a match with him tonight. Jericho didn’t smile at that.
[Q2]
[Commercial Break]
-They showed Cole and Lawler at ringside. They talked about how great the draft episode of Raw was last week. Cole touted that it was the highest rated show on all of cable last week.
-Chavo Guerrero stood mid-ring. He said he has officially been drafted to Raw. He said he wanted to thank Vickie, the new general manager of Raw. He said he wanted to prove he could not only push her wheelchair around, but also push around anyone on the Raw roster. “So bring it on!” he said. Batista‘s music played. Cole chuckled.
1 — BATISTA vs. CHAVO GUERRERO
The bell rang and Batista didn’t move from his standing position with hands on hips mid-ring. Chavo charged at him, and Batista powerbombed him immediately for the win.
WINNER: Batista in 0:06.
-Afterward, Chavo apologized to Aunt Vickie. He said it would never happen again. “I wasn’t ready; I wasn’t ready, Vickie. I promise you, never again.” Batista returned to the ring as the crowd chanted “Ba-ti-sta!” Chavo then panicked and said, “No, I was ready!” Batista gave him another Batista-bomb.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed scenes of London.
-Shane McMahon was shown doing his badass strut backstage that most people outgrow by age 25 or so. He bumped into Batista and gave him a sportsman handshake, but Shane said his sweat is “nasty.” They talked about what happened last week. Shane said he wanted to be sure they’re on the same page on Sunday. Shane and Batista both chuckled uncomfortably as they pointed out what they didn’t like about what the other did to them last week. They smiled and had an uneasy truce of sorts that they’re on the same page come Sunday.
[Q3]
2 — KANE vs. C.M. PUNK
Clips aired during Kane’s ring intro of the battles between Kane and Punk during the Money in the Bank ladder match at WrestleMania 25. Cole said this was their final match on Raw before moving to Smackdown. He said the draft “takes full effect” next Monday on Raw after Backlash. When Kane went for an early chokeslam, Punk countered with a small package and scored the quick win.
WINNER: Punk in 2:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* — Not much to it, and it’s yet another one of too many super-short TV matches between equally matched wrestlers. If this happened once a month and a bigger deal was made of it, that’d be one thing, but it’s just too often that they cut these so short.
-Cole and Lawler plugged Cena vs. Jericho, Triple H vs. Orton, and also Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show.
[Commercial Break]
-A commercial aired for the “Stars of the ’90s” DVD now available.
-Santino Marella walked out with a comically enhanced unibrow. A clip aired of Santina winning the Miss WrestleMania Battle Royal and then dancing in celebration. He said last week he lost his match to The Great Khali, so now his twin sister has to go to Smackdown and kiss the Punjambi Playboy. He said they aren’t happy about it, but they have honor and he’d like to apologize to her in person. He said some people believe he and his sister are the same person. He said they’re crazy and their comments can be hurtful. He called her to the ring. Lawler said this should be interesting. She didn’t walk out. She appeared on the big screen and said she cannot live up to the family obligation and kiss Khali. She said she has developed a blister on her lip. Santino asked her where she is. She said she’s in the best country in the world, Italy. That drew some boos. She said it’s so sad because she was looking forward to grabbing by hisbig muscular shoulders. The tape of her sped up really fast.
Santino panicked in the ring, then said, “Oh my sister, she loves the Red Bull. She gets so hyper.” The crowd ate up that one-liner. Santino said he knows how to make Santina feel better. He said it’s called: “Ode to Marella family beauty.” He said their parents were models born in 1985. Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendez interrupted. Phoenix said she was sorry to hear about her sister’s blister. Santino said it happens to the best of families. Phoenix said she talked to Vickie and she’s going to set time aside at Backlash so Santina can kiss Khali after all. Santina came back on the screen. She began singing and Santino told the producers to stop the video. He then told Phoenix he doesn’t like what she’s up to. He said she’s covered in jealousy and she better pray she wins back her Women’s Title tonight because she will never be Miss WrestleMania. Cole said Marella has issues. Melina‘s ring intro then took place.
[Q4]
[Commercial Break]
3 — MELINA vs. BETH PHOENIX (w/Rosa Mendez)
Melina fought out of a torture rack type hold at 1:00. Phoenix rammed her into the corner, then began kicking her in the back of her head with her own boot in the corner. Lawler was impressed and asked Cole if he could try that on him. Melina hit a facebuster at 3:00. Rosa jumped on the ring apron and distracted Melina. Phoenix charged, but Melina moved and Rosa took the shoulder tackle, knocking her to the floor. Melina then rolled up Phoenix for the three count.
WINNER: Melina in 4:00 to retain the Women’s Title.
STAR RATING: *
-They cut backstage to Triple H lacing up his boots. Shane entered the room and told him to be safe and wished him luck. Shane said on Sunday they have to be careful not to screw things up. He said they can all get riled up. He said they can’t let Orton win the title via DQ on Sunday because then he’ll have accomplished everything he set out to do. Triple H said he’s going to get it out of his system tonight. They shook hands.
-They showed Jericho heading to the entrance tunnel for his match against Cena.
[Commercial Break]
-Cena’s ring entrance took place. Cole talked about how both world champions are now on Raw. Jericho’s ring entrance took place. Cole and Lawler discussed the Jericho-Steamboat match now set for Backlash.
[Q5]
4 — JOHN CENA vs. CHRIS JERICHO
Jericho dominated the first couple minutes. The crowd got into cheering Jericho’s punches and booing Cena’s punches. Cena made a full comeback at 3:00 and sideslammed Jericho. Lawler acknowledged the boos from the fans. He said Cena is feeding off of it. He went into the finishing routine and the crowd shouted, “You can’t see me!” right on cue. Jericho countered the Attitude Adjustment with a DDT for a two count. Jericho jumped onto Cena on the ring apron, but Cena caught him. Jericho shoved Cena off the ring apron into the steps at ringside. They cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
As they came back from the break, Jericho had Cena down for a near fall. Lawler brought up Fozzy and said he was booed by the fans and “couldn’t even hear himself suck.” Cole said Jericho thought Fozzy was legendary. Cena side-stepped a charging Jericho at 10:00 and then tossed him into the top turnbuckle. Jericho lifted Cena off the top rope and dropped back with a electric chair for a two count. Jericho went for a Lionsault, but Cena moved. Jericho grabbed his wrist in pain. Jericho went for a small package at 12:00. Cena reversed it and then lifted Jericho and pressed him over his head and onto his shoulders. Cole really sold the feat of strength. As Cena went for an Attitude Adjustment, Jericho escaped and hit a Code Breaker out of nowhere for a two count. Nice sequence.
After nearly a minute, Jericho got up and went for another Code Breaker. Cena blocked it and hit the AJ. He slowly crawled onto him and scored a near fall. Cena jumped off the top rope for an apparent dropkick. Jericho stepped back and applied a Walls of Jericho. Cena crawled toward the bottom rope, but Jericho pulled him back to the middle. Jericho called for Cena to tap. Lawler said he can’t remember ever seeing Cena tapout. Cena countered and quickly applied the STF. Jerihco flailed and crawled to the bottom rope. Cena yanked Jericho back to the middle, but Jericho surprised him with an enzuigiri (or “en-see-guh-rhee!” as Cole called it.) Jericho scored a two count. Jericho set up a superplex, but Cena reversed position. Edge then came out and and shoved Cena to the mat. He entered the ring and pounded away at his head.
WINNER: Cena via DQ in 16:00.
STAR RATING: ***1/2 — Very good match.
[Q6]
-Edge continued the beatdown, giving him a spear and then looking out into the crowd. He brought a chair into the ring and set Cena’s head on it. He took another chair and took a deep, sinister breath and smashed Cena across the head. He brought a mic into the ring and said, “The winner in a Last Man Standing match is the man who knocks his opponent unconscious for a count of ten.” He began to count. He got to ten. Lawler said that could happen on Sunday. He did a dry run of being announced as the new World Heavyweight Champion.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed a replay of the previous segment, then showed Cena being helped to the back by three referees.
5 — REY MYSTERIO vs. THE BIG SHOW
Cole billed this as Rey’s last match on Monday Night Raw. Lawler said they’d miss him. Show bullied Rey at the bell, including picking him up by his head and throwing him to the floor. He then pulled him back into the ring by grabbing his head with one hand. Rey kicked him and then head scissored him into the top turnbuckle. He followed with a 619 to his back and then a 619 attempt to the face. Show caught him and held him and then punched him on the side of his head for the KO win. The ref and a trainer tended to Rey, who wasn’t moving.
WINNER: The Big Show in 1:00. They ought to ban closed fist punches again. It seems so unfair (that someone can use that “move” as their finisher).
[Q7]
-Lawler and Cole plugged the Triple H vs. Orton, pushing it hard as a “WrestleMania Rematch.”
-A commercial hyped WWE Superstars, plugging the main event of Edge vs. Kofi Kingston. The motto is “expect everything.” It’s a good motto, but it’s just one more show where they’re going to feel pressure to give away big (interbrand?) matches week after week, but not hype it as not to take time and attention away from the PPV line-ups, therefore defining down the value of a marquee match while failing at the same time to make them truly seem like must-see matches. And if WGN Superstar matches are mostly ten minutes or longer, while the same matches on Raw are one or two minutes, what will possibly be the plausible explanation? It really is “one show too many,” but will WWE manage to bring more people to their TV sets on Thursdays and make that an “appointment TV night” with three hours straight (counting Impact… I’m sorry… iMpacT!!!)?
[Commercial Break]
-A clip aired of Shane McMahon vs. Cody Rhodes. Shane’s flying dropkick across the ring into the trash can is fading in it’s effectiveness faster than Chuck Liddell’s ability to take a punch. Once you lose a couple inches, the move really start looking lame.
-Cole and Lawler commented on a replay of Batista beating Chavo earlier.
-They went backstage to Cody Rhodes asking Ted DiBiase how his back is. DiBiase said fine, then asked how his face is. Cody said unlike them, none of their Backlash opponents are on the same page. DiBiase said it’s not as cool being in Legacy when the leader doesn’t… at which point Orton walked in and asked him if he was about to say it’s not as good when the leader doesn’t have the title. Orton said everyone is jealous of him because he’s better than all of them. He said Triple H is on borrowed time. He said he used the sledgehammer at WrestleMania because he knew he’d lose otherwise. He said on Sunday they’ll win, and first tonight he guarantees victory against Triple H. He walked away and then the camera stayed on DiBiase and Rhodes uncomfortably long.
-The ring intro of Triple H began for the main event.
-A commercial aired for “The Wrestler.”
[Commercial Break]
[Q8]
-WWE Fact: “For males under 34, WWE.com ranked no. 1 for Entertainment websites in February, beating out: AOL TV, Oprah.com (you don’t say!), MTV.com, CBS.com, FOX.com, and TMZ.com.” This gets a 2 out of 10 on the Impressed Scale.
6 — TRIPLE H vs. RANDY ORTON
The crowd popped for Orton’s intro (a “star pop,” not necessarily a babyface pop). They stared each other down during Orton’s entire ring entrance. The bell rang 47 minutes into the hour, so they’re giving it 15 or so minutes of TV time potentially. Triple H took early control. Orton bailed out to ringside where he took control immediately. He pulled a trash can out from under the ring and swung it at Triple H. Triple H kicked him and took it. Orton kicked him back and threw him into the ring. The trash can’s were not dented.
[Commercial Break]
Back from the break, Orton whipped Triple H into the ringside steps. Orton brought the ring steps into the ring. Triple H for some reason charged head-first right into the steps. Orton scored a near fall. Orton set up Triple H for a DDT off the ring apron onto steel steps at ringside. Triple H blocked it, jumped to the floor, and dropped Orton back-first onto the steps. A few minutes later he made a full comeback with a kneelift. He picked up a trash can swung at Orton. Orton kicked him first. At 12:00 Orton went for The Punt, but Triple H sidestepped him and swept his leg. He quickly slid out of the ring and wrapped his leg around the ringpost. The he grabbed a chair again and based Orton’s ankle. Orton clutched it in pain inside the ring. Center-ring, Triple H dropped elbows on his legs and then applied a figure-four, drawing “wooos!” from the crowd. Cole said the move was made famous by Hall of Famer Ric Flair.
[Q9]
Orton reached the bottom rope. Triple H held on. Orton dropped to the floor to escape. Triple H quickly threw him back into the ring and continued to work on his leg. Triple H put Orton’s leg in a chair. Rhodes and DiBiase charged to the ring and attacked Triple H. Shane ran to the ring to make the save, knocking Rhodes and DiBiase around briefly with punches. DiBiase pulled the top rope down and Rhodes reversed Shane into the ropes to the floor. Rhodes and DiBiase double-teamed Triple H. Batista ran to the ring (carefully) and hit clotheslines on Rhodes and DiBiase and then a spear on Orton. Batista went for a spear on Rhodes, but hit Shane instead. Triple H got up and seemed to question Batista’s spear of Shane. Batista shoved Triple H to the side as DiBiase charged. He threw DiBiase to the floor, then went after Rhodes. Rhodes reversed Batista into the ringpost. Orton then surprised Triple H with an RKO. Cole declared, “This match is still going on! It’s no-disqualification!” The ref counted Orton’s three count on Triple H.
WINNER: Orton in 17:00.
STAR RATING: *** — Served its purpose well with a strong rematch from WrestleMania that felt like a worthy big time main event (but understandably past its peak freshness date, thus not hurting a potential PPV buy) and parlayed effectively into promoting Backlash on Sunday.
