Full Credit: F4WOnline.com
Fresh off his victory over his brother in an Extreme Rules at Wrestlemania, Matt Hardy comes to the ring with an accomplished swagger to kick things off this week. Our announce team of Todd Grisham and Good ol’ JR, Jim Ross following the departure of Tazz, is revealed which should be… interesting. Anyway, back the ring, Matt talks about unforgettable Wrestlemania moments, and how ‘Taker/Michaels is being called the greatest ‘Mania match of all time (was, in my opinion….just sayin’), but the greatest moment of the night, was his EXTREME victory, over the EXTREME Jeff Hardy, in an EXTREME Rules match. Matt claimed that he has proved to the world that he is now and always has been the SUPERIOR HARDY! He mocks Jeff’s armbands (which I remember Matt used to wear too, but whatever). Matt vows to ERASE Jeff from the WWE, (I can think of a way he CAN do it, just ask Randy Savage and Chris Benoit (seance required)) he demands Jeff apologize to both the crowd and himself if he does not want to face ERASION! If Jeff doesn’t comply, Matt will put him on a stretcher and he WILL NEVER WRESTLE AGAIN! (Gee, I wonder where this is going) Jeff comes out to a big pop, seems like the crowd are actually getting behind this feud now, and tries to attack his brother, but Matt rolls out of the ring. Jeff sells his injuries sustained on Sunday after his missed legdrop from atop the ladder, as our new (yet former) General Manager, Teddy Long (not from THE BOARD) comes out, LIVING LARGE AND IN CHARGE, he decrees that because of the draft, the fact that either or both Hardys could be leaving Smackdown and the fact that Matt mentioned a stretcher match earlier, that later tonight, for the first time in Smackdown history, we shall be seeing a STRETCHER MATCH later tonight between the dueling siblings! This should be a lot of fun.
Next up, an interview with Kofi Kingston, who is facing The Big Show tonight. He tells a tale of how he built his own ring in his back garden and dreamt of ways to shock the world in the ring and feels that at ‘Mania, in Money in the Bank, he felt he did that (and he ain’t wrong, he was AWWWESOME!) and tonight he’ll do it again, by upsetting the World’s Larget Athlete, The Big Show.
The Big Show vs. Kofi Kingston
They circle before Kofi teased some handstand kicks, which Show brushed off, but resilient as ever, Kofi tries again, only to have the hands kicked out from under him, causing him to land on his head. Kofi rolls out of the ring, only to have Big Show lift him up on to the apron by his head and lifting him in to the ring. Kofi lands some strikes, but gets tossed away and put in the corner, where he suffers a gigantic open palm chop of DOOM! Show dominates with clubs to the back, before picking Kofi up and tossing him half way across the ring, only for Kofi to bounce back and land some jumping kicks. Kofi leaps at Show in the corner, but gets caught in a powerbomb position, but the young Jamaican (cough) flips out of danger only to have his next attempted kick swatted away. Show takes Kofi to the corner again, only to toss him to the mat before whipping him in to the corner. Show charges at Kofi, only to be caught by a sweet upside down kick from Kofi who ascends the turnbuckle and lands a drop kick and the Trouble in Paradise, followed by his Boom Boom Legdrop but Show throws him off at two. Kofi once again goes to the top, but gets caught by a right hook as he flies through the air, knocking him out cold, giving Show the W. Nice little match, nothing too fancy, but Kofi looked a lot better than I thought he would be allowed too and I can’t have any problem with the outcome, as Show needs to regain some heat. Certainly wouldn’t mind seeing Kofi come over in the draft next week.
Winner: The Big Show via Knock Out Punch
Recap of the Hall of Fame up next, same as on Monday. I thought it was a fun show, as it always will be, but it was really lacking compared to last years, no real memorable speeches, although the Steamboat/Flair lock up was ridiculously great.
We’re in for a treat as SANTINO comes to the ring! Yay! Santino tells us that some of the Divas are jealous of his twin sisters accomplishments, even his own girlfriend, the Glamazon with a very sexy voice, Beth Phoenix, so he says he came to Smackdown to check it out, as he may be drafted to the brand next week (PLEASE!) and that there are two Marella’s to be jealous of. To prove this, Santino has issued an OPEN INVACHALLENGE to any Smackdown Superstar in the back to face The Italian Stallion. Unfortunately for out intrepid Italian, The Great Khali answers the challenge along with his translator, Runjin Singh, who says that Khali will agree to not fight Santino on one condition, that he set the Punjabi Playboy up with his HOT (Khali’s gibberish, not mine) sister. Santino is vehemently insulted by this and denies Khali’s request and insults the poor man. We are then treated to a wonderful, non sensical exchange between the two before Runjin interrupts and gets the match under way…
Santino Marella vs. The Great Khali
This was, as you’d expect a squash , consisting of two moves, a blocked kick and a Punjabi Plunge. DUD as Monsieur Meltzer would say.
Winner: The Great Khali via Punjabi Plunge
Tremendous video next, a recap of The Undertaker’s streak, showing clips from every single ‘Taker match at Wrestlemania. Seriously seriously awesome, and it of course culminated with clips from the Match of the Year candidate, Wrestlemania match facing Shawn Michaels (KENTA/Nakajima in NOAH last month was better by the way : P ). It’s amazing how much the calibre of ‘Taker’s opponents has changed over the years, and thank the Lord for that.
Gail Kim vs. Michelle McCool
Michelle takes Kim down instantly and goes for an early pin, but no dice. So Michelle lands a european uppercut and takes Gail to the corner and lands some kicks but the returning Diva slips out and mounts some offense of her own, getting the upperhand with a hurracanrana and SOLE FOOD! (Yay! A Smooth Chucky T reference!) Michelle rolls to the outside, Gail soon joins her as she tries to reenter the ring and gets whipped in to the ring post, knocking her to the outside, while recuperating against the barrier, Kim gets hit with a brutal knee to the face before being rolled back in to the ring. Back in the ring, McCool misses a leg drop, which Kim capitalizes one with some strikes and clothesline before going up top and landing a flying cross body. With Michelle down, Gail goes up top again only to miss her dive, which gives Michelle a pinning opportunity, but Gail reverses it in to a small package to take the match.
Winner: Gail Kim via Small Package
The Cutting Edge (with John Cena)
Your former World Heavyweight Champion and mine (oh Lord, the pain), Edge hasn’t slept in a week, he says, as he expected the biggest win of his life last Sunday, but that, along with HIS BELT, were stolen from him, by his guest, John Cena. This of course prompts somebody’s World Heavyweight Champion, John Cena to come to the ring. Edge offers Cena a seat, the rude bastard doesn’t sit his ass down, instead he declares that THE CHAMP IS HERE (grr). Edge is not a happy man, a not happy man who does not care about the crowd, he’s here to talk to Cena, because Cena has Edge’s life on his shoulder, the World Heavyweight Championship. He can handle anything as long as he has that belt, but Cena stole it from him. Cena stands up (does this man have NO manners??) only to be told to seat himself once more. Cena tells Edge to get over himself and accept that he lost. Edge claims Cena ruined his life, Cena says fine, if Edge wants to talk, they’ll talk, he asks how many years they’ve been doing this, how many times, how many this and that…my God they’ve been involved with each other a LOT over the years. He says that every time they face each other, they raise the bar, and that Edge had the chance to talk about the greatest rivalry in sports entertainment history (it’s good, but not THAT good!), but instead he used the time to bitch and is wasting Cena’s time. As Cena goes to leave, Edge tells Cena that he hates him, in every single way and everything he stands for and whether Cena wants to admit it or not, the feud between the two has taken an equal toll on both men and at Backlash it will culminate in Last Man Standing Match for the belt, where the winner has to beat his opponent so bad, he can’t get back up. Edge predicts himself as the winner, which Cena growls “NO” in response. Cena says that Edge may be better at certain things than him, but Cena is tougher than him, and in a Last Man Standing Match, that’s what counts. It’s not the hat, the wristbands or the t-shirt that Edge hates, it’s the TRUTH (dunno what Ron Killings ever did to him), because no matter what Edge does, Cena always comes and always prevails. He dares Edge to him him, because when he does, Cena will UNLEASH HELL on him., the two men circle, shirts off (why not), but Edge does not hit Cena, he walks away. This was (and pardon my French) FUCKING AWESOME!! This was such a damn good segment, the best I’ve ever seen these two in, holy jiminy cricket was it GREAT! Edge was phenomenal in this, his mic work and acting was some of the best I’ve ever seen, and Cena certainly held his own bringing the intensity. This was, wow, just, it was so so so damn good, it really built the match up well and made it seem like the feud between the two was the biggest in the World. I am actually hyped for a CENA/EDGE MATCH! After two years, they somehow manage to get me hyped up for this match, AGAIN! And if you’ve seen this segment, you’ll know exactly why, worth the price of admission alone. A truly epic segment.
Carlito & Primo Colon vs. Priceless (Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase Jr.) of The Legacy
After their victories on Monday and Sunday, The Colon Brothers are the first ever Undisputed Tag Champions! Not who I would have preferred, but if it puts some more emphasis on the Tag Division, I’ll certainly learn to live with it. DiBiase and Carlito kick things off, with Dibiase taking Carlito to his corner, tagging his partner in early, who lands some shot before bringing Teddy Jr. back in to the mix. DiBiase takes it to Carlito with a leg screw and a kick to the head and takes in Cody, who is small packaged but retaliates with a clothesline for a nearfall followed by a scoop slam followed by a missed elbow which Carlito takes advantage of, landing a slam of his own before tagging in Baby Bro, who he powerbombs on to Cody before tagging back in. Rhodes tags in DiBiase, and the two Legacy members go to double clothesline Carlito, who evades them and lands a double springboard elbow to Randy Orton’s proteges and as they’re staggered, Primo and Carlito clothesline them outside. DiBiase reenters the ring, but gets tossed on his back as we go to commercial. We comes back to find Primo in a body lock following landing on DiBiase’s knee as a result of an attempted dive. DiBiase tags in Rhodes, who works over Primo with some knees before tagging Teddy Jr. back in, who lands a double knee drop off the top rope. Priceless continue to get the heat on Primo with strikes before Rhoedes sinks in the abdominal stretch on for Primo to hip toss his way out and sends Cody to the outside. As Cody is rolled back in the ring by his partner, Primo gets the hot tag and Carlito enters the ring, all guns blazing, taking it to Rhodes, even knocking DiBiase to the outside as he tried to help his partner. Carlito goes up top but gets hung up on the ropes, which gives Rhodes the chance to hit Cross Rhodes for the pin. After the match, Primo attacks DiBiase but the numbers game becomes to much as Rhodes saves his partner giving Teddy Jr. the chance to hit Dream Street on the younger Colon. Carlito tries to defend his brother, but Priceless soon beat him down as their leader, Randy Orton comes to the ring, who seemingly wants to get in on the beat down as he lands a few kicks to the Colon Brothers before raising his protege’s hands. This was a fun little match, not as good as the Colons’ series with Miz & Morrison, but I certainly wouldn’t mind seeing a feud between the two teams, even if it’s a short one to get the belts on Priceless, as The Legacy holding the World Title and the Tag Titles would be just swell. Or even for the Colons to get some of their heat back, but because I gave two sensicle options, neither will happen, because these are the same people WHO DIDN’T PUT THE DAMN TAG TITLE MATCH ON THE PAY-PER-VIEW GOD DAMN IT!!
Winner(s): Priceless via Cross Rhodes (Cody Rhodes)
With the Colons dealt with, Randy takes to the stick, and claims that after Backlash, there will be a NEW WWE Champion (yes please). After running down the participants in the match, Orton reminds us who put Batista out of commission in the first place, him. The Legacy are a well oiled machine, while their opponents are a bunch of egomaniacs, which according to the former champion is why he will leave Backlash as WWE Champion! (Let’s Go Randy *clap clap clap clap* Let’s Go Randy…)
Stretcher Match: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
Before the match, Todd Grisham runs down the rules for us, and fair play to him, he hasn’t had a bad show at all. Jeff gets the better of exchange early, taking it to his brother with clotheslines in the corner early before Matt rolls outside avoiding a dropkick. Jeff follows Matt outside, continuing the onslaught, suplexing Matt on to the stretcher and attempts to real Matt over the line, but Matt gets off and lands some body shots and takes Jeff in to the ring and mounts some offense, only to be hit with a suplex face plant. Jeff goes for a Twist of Fate, but Matt escapes and counters with the Side Effect and leaves the ring to fetch the stretcher. I love Matt’s new tights by the way, a new look was really needed and it’s good to see it. Matt tried to roll Jeff over the line, but Jeff kicked Matt in the face a few times before jumping off the stretcher with a flying clothesline. With his opponent reeling, Jeff takes the stretcher to the top of the ramp and rides it down like a skateboard and hits a flying crossbody when he gets to the bottom. Awesome spot that really mightn’t have worked, but it did, and it was great! We come back from commercial with Matt in control (because the heels are always in control after ad breaks, unless it’s a ‘Taker match) as he locks in a reverse double nelson, while hanging off his younger brother. Matt gets the stretcher and rolls Jeff on it, but does not make it up the ramp, as Jeff fights back and hangs on to the barrier before hitting the spinning mule kick and sending his older brother shoulder first in to the ring steps. He plants Matt on the stretcher and rolls him to the line, but Matt jumps off just in time and battles his opponent down the ramp. With Jeff on the floor, Matt charges at him with the stretcher, but Jeff avoids his rampaging brother in the nick of time and seeks recovery time in the ring. Matt follows him in to the ring with a chair, but Jeff knocks him to the outside and again when Matt once again tries to get in to the ring, this time however Matt landed back first on to the chair, folded up on the stretcher. Matt rolls off the stretcher, but once leaning on it, Jeff leaps to the other end of the stretcher, causing the end of it to smack Matt in the face like the classic ladder teeter totter spot. Grisham completely called this wrong came up with some cockamamy excuse about Jeff being discombobulated but soon corrected himself after what I’m sure was a stern shouting from Vince. Jeff places Matt back on the stretcher and pushes him head first in to the ring steps. With Matt out on the stretcher, Jeff goes up top and goes for a Swanton on Matt on the stretcher, but Matt rolls out of the way and Jeff lands on the barren stretcher. Matt tries to roll his brother up the ramp, but no matter how many punches he throws, Jeff manages to sit back up, so Matt gets a steel chair and whacks his brother with the chair and with that, is able to roll him past the line. After the match, Matt performs a real DICK MOVE, and kicks the stretcher back down the ramp, with the unconscious Jeff on it, the stretcher crashes in to the ring apron as Matt celebrates at the top of the ramp to close the show. This was a really really fun match with lots of great spots and it is great to see Matt finally getting his due. Whether the feud will permanently push him up the ladder is uncertain at the moment, but it’s great to see him at the top for the time being at the very least. I really think people are starting to get behind this feud, now that’s it’s more about who the superior Hardy is, and not a story that makes no sense, plus, the matches have been lots of fun so far with some awesome spots to get the people interested, and who doesn’t love a feud that will surely culminate in what has no right not to be, a great TLC match! (Although I’d love to see what the could do in Hell In A Cell, but I’m sure that’s being saved for Triple H and Orton)
Winner: Matt Hardy
