ECW on Sci-Fi TV Report
March 17, 2009
Taped in San Antonio, Tex.
By James Caldwell, PWTorch.com
The show opened with ring entrances for the opening tag match featuring a mix of ECW and Smackdown talent. Thought: How is the “Superstars” on WGN show going to stand-out for featuring all three brands if ECW does this on a regular basis and the brand split is virtually non-existent?
1 — U.S. champion SHELTON BENJAMIN & MARK HENRY (w/Tony Atlas) vs. MVP & CHRISTIAN
Shelton vs. MVP for the U.S. Title is scheduled for this Friday on Smackdown. Big 500 episode celebration. Random commercial break after a nearfall. Well, just seemed so random because we’re used to the babyface knocking the heel to the floor and hitting a spot, then being in control to set up the heel in control out of the break.
[Commercial Break]
They returned with Shelton and Henry working over Mr. Moveset MVP. Matt Striker earned his paycheck talking about all four men scouting each other in preparation for the Money in the Bank match. Christian finally entered the match after MVP fought off Shelton and made the hot tag. Shelton and Christian battled, Striker dropped a Johnny Cash reference, the action broke down, then Henry and MVP battled on the floor. In the confusion, Shelton nailed Christian with paydirt for the pin and the win.
WINNERS: Shelton & Henry in 8:00. Christian loses yet another match on ECW. Good set-up for MITB and Shelton vs. MVP on Smackdown this Friday, though. (*1/4)
“12 Rounds” video: They focused on John Cena’s female co-star. Same video from Raw.
[Q2]
Backstage: Finlay was looking around for his son, Hornswoggle. They approached dancin’ D.J. Gabriel and Alicia Fox to see if they knew here Hornswoggle was, but they were too busy dancing to their iPods. Gabriel couldn’t find Hornswoggle anywhere.
Video package: They took us back through some Evan Bourne highlights.
[Commercial Break]
WrestleMania Rewind: They went back to WrestleMania XX in New York City to show Eddie Guerrero (dead) out-smarting Kurt Angle (TNA), but no sign of Chris Benoit in the main event winning his first legit World Title. Just simply cannot acknowledge Benoit. They focused on John Cena winning the U.S. Title from Big Show in the opener.
In-ring: Jamie Noble was already in the ring. What brand is he on? Evan Bourne then made his much-anticipated return with washboard abs.
2 — EVAN BOURNE vs. JAMIE NOBLE
“Top Gun” references galore before the opening bell. Bourne started off on the offensive as Striker described the gruesome injury Bourne suffered with a near-snapping of his ankle five months ago. Cut to a backstage shot of Tyson Kidd and Natalya watching Bourne’s return on a backstage monitor. There’s your future star feud. Striker said Bourne is planning on busting out some new moves that he developed while injured. Grisham said he talked to Noble before the match and Noble isn’t concerned about losing to Bourne in his return. Bourne busted out traditional aerial offense, then set up Noble for the Shooting Star Press. He connected square and made the cover for the win. Afterward, they replayed the move several times with slow-mo replays and let Bourne get his shine in his return.
WINNER: Bourne in 3:00. Very nice return for Bourne. As I expected a few weeks ago when Kidd debuted, they’re setting up Bourne vs. Kidd in what should be an excellent feud. (*)
Backstage: Finlay found Hornswoggle at catering throwing food at Katie Lea Burchill. She was not particularly pleased.
Video package: They did a Raw Rebound on Randy Orton going after Triple H with some video clips of Hunter and Stephanie McMahon at the altar during their wedding ceremony. Surprising clip there.
[Q3]
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: ECW champion Jack Swagger showed up in street clothes and stood on the entrance ramp. Swagger said he wasn’t on the show last week, but he’s going to grace us with his presence this week. He tried to convey that everyone should be jealous of him as a two-time All-American and ECW champ. He didn’t really say much. Weird.
Backstage: Teddy Long, dressed in a typically absurd Teddy Long outfit, this time for St. Patrick’s Day, was talking to Tiffany about business. Tiffany pitched an all-divas show on next week’s ECW. Long said the network will love it. Yes, the same network suits that decided SyFy would be a good name. Burchill and Katie Lea then barged in and demanded retribution against Finlay for bringing his son to work. Long booked a singles match between Finlay and Burchill tonight.
Up later: Miz & Morrison bring the Dirt Sheet to TV.
[Commercial Break]
Video package: They recapped the Edge-Big Show-John Cena-Vickie mess from last night’s show. Everyone will be on Smackdown on Friday night.
3 — FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. PAUL BURCHILL (w/Katie Lea Burchill)
Hornswoggle jumped on the ECW broadcast table and demanded headsets to call the action in the ring. Finlay tried to restore order after dumping Burchill to the floor, but Burchill used the distraction to ram Finlay into the ring apron. Grisham suggested that Hornswoggle is more of a detriment than a help for pops. Grisham with a Tom & Jerry reference, which popped Tommy Dreamer’s name into my head. Where is Tommy and his Quest? Burchill had his hair pulled back like a Sumo wrestler. Apparently this was his solution to stand out as not a generic mid-card heel. Finlay took Burchill’s offense, then he finished off the Englishman with the Celtic Cross on St. Patrick’s Day for the pin and the win. Finlay and Hornswoggle then celebrated.
WINNER: Finlay in 3:00. Standard match kept short to avoid long stretches of Burchill on the offensive since WWE doesn’t put much stock in his character right now. Just a fun match for the kids on St. Patrick’s Day. There’s the ECW brand – home of The Zombie – in a sentence. (*)
[Q4]
[Commercial Break. A commercial aired for a crazy-looking movie that opens on March 27 against John Cena’s “12 Rounds.” Seems a bit counter-productive.]
In-ring: Miz and Morrison were in the ring with the Bella Twins for a live Dirt Sheet. Morrison started with a promo on Texas, then the Bella Twins tried to introduce themselves. One of them wants to associate with Miz & Morrison because she likes winners. The other one was disgusted with the World tag champs and wants to side with the Colons. Cue up a clip from Smackdown when Miz & Morrison beat the Colons and got the girls.
Back in the arena, Miz and Morrison welcomed their special guests, the Colons. Instead, Miz and Morrison but buttcheeks on their faces and mocked the Colons. The real deal WWE tag champs came out with their Cabana set for an interview segment battle. Carlito said Miz and Morrison look better with the buttcheeks on their faces. Primo then welcomed them to Primo’s Cabana. Carlito cut off his brother, then a verbal battle ensued between the tag champs. Very third-gradeish.
Primo then issued a special challenge for WrestleMania. Carlito summed it up as a title vs. title match to unify the tag title belts. Miz accepted the offer, then told them to Be Jealous. Colons tried to spew apple at the other tag champs, but Miz & Morrison ducked and Brie Bella took the apple in the face. She was not particularly happy. Suddenly, Nikki shoved her and a catfight broke out between the Bellas. Sides were split up and Nikki left with Miz & Morrison and Brie stayed with the Colons despite taking apple in the face. Loyal gal. Vince McMahon’s dream to have one fewer tag team title to deal with will be realized at WrestleMania 25. End show.
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