Full Credit: Jeff Hamlin, F4WOnline.com
The Big News: Kurt Angle and Sting fought to a no contest in the empty arena match because Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner broke it up. I’ll bet you’re wondering how anyone can break up a fight in an empty arena match. And you wouldn’t be alone. So it’s looking like Sting and Angle for the main event of Destination X. Also, Samoa Joe’s arm made a cameo, Taylor Wilde continues to give Shane McMahon a run for most obnoxious babyface and we learned Steiner can barely bench press 135 pounds. Not exactly a night for logic, but then again, it never is.
Jim Cornette, Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley were arguing about whether they should allow Kurt Angle and Sting to contest their empty arena match tonight. Purely a skit doing to make Cornette look like the pussy authority figure. Then again, he came off the most sensible of the three. Foley wanted to see the match because it was what he did with the Rock during the 1999 Super Bowl halftime show. I’m sure everyone in wrestling would love to have things the way they were in 1999 again. Well, then again we’d have to live through that one finger title push again. Anyway, it’s not happening and the sooner everyone on this creative team understands that, then maybe they can start putting together a decent product. Jarrett wanted to see the match because the only other option was to face Angle again. But that’s what you’re headed toward anyway.
Kurt Angle came out to start the show and asked Cornette to allow Jarrett to get his way. Angle said he knew from the very beginning that if the Main Event Mafia was going to be brought down, it would be brought down from within. It’s bad enough that the heels outsmart the faces every week in TNA, but the fact they also are proven right at the end of every angle makes it even worse.
The Motor City Machine Guns did an interview playing up their dissension with the Front Line. Since the Front Line has been handled so clumsily since its inception, I don’t even know who’s on the damn team anymore. Is ODB still a member? Chris Sabin started to mention they put everyone else ahead of themselves before they were jumped by Consequences Creed and Black Machsimo.
1. The Motor City Machine Guns defeated Black Machismo and Consequences Creed in a street fight. It was rushed again, like they were trying to squeeze all of the action from one of those 1996 Sabu/Rob Van Dam vs. The Eliminators ladder and chair matches from ECW into five minutes. But they busted their asses for such a short match. They opened with the standard brawling around ringside, which is becoming really stale. Outside the ring, Creed took the sandwich kicks from both Sabin and Shelley against the railing. Shelley did a baseball slide against a chair into Creed’s face. Then Sabin did a springboard dropkick into a chair (which Sabin was holding) onto Machismo. Creed barely sold his chair shot before Sabin did a tope into a chair that Creed was holding. Creed did a somersault pescado onto Sabin, and followed with a springboard facebuster onto Shelley, who was holding a chair. Shelley did a pecado into a chair. At this point, Machismo pulled out a ladder. Sabin threw Creed onto the seat of the chair. Machismo did the lethal combination on Sabin into a chair for a two count, but Shelley saved. Machismo backflipped into a chair shot by Sabin, and Shelley followed with a Celtic Cross, but Creed saved. Shelley tried hitting Creed with the X Division championship belt, but hit Sabin instead. Machismo took a backdrop onto the ladder. Creed tried to set up the TKO on Shelley, but Sabin hit him with the X Division belt, and Sabin scored the pin. I guess someone in the company felt so bad for Christian this week, they wanted to borrow one of his finishes from 2000. **1/2
Cornette announced that Jarrett had won out, and Sting would face Angle in the empty arena match tonight.
In the Main Event Mafia dressing room, Booker T, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash were pleading with Angle to not have the empty arena match tonight. Booker, speaking in a Brooklyn accent, said that Sting had never disrespected him. Angle teased fighting Booker before Nash broke it up and ordered Booker out of the dressing room. As Booker walked into the hallway, A.J. Styles ran up and attacked him. Styles told Booker that he would be legend at Destination X. For all the good the Legends Championship has been so far, it might as well be called the Western States Heritage Championship.
Beer Money came out with Jacqueline. Robert Roode talked about how boring the show has been so far. Well, we could have had more authority figures arguing. Roode said he came up with a concept called “The Off the Wagon Challenge,” or as Storm called it “The My Mama is Tired of Watching You on TV Challenge.” Storm said they would defend the tag titles against anyone, but anyone who was pinned by Beer Money would have to leave town and could never return. Write that one down. Storm said Don West was invited to take the challenge, with Storm saying he probably needed Twinkie money. That allowed Mike Tenay to make a reference to Artie Lange, which was odd.
Roxxi, Taylor Wilde and The Governor were backstage with Lauren. This was totally absurd. Roxxi and Wilde talked about taking the Off the Wagon Challenge. Maybe they’re looking to purge female talent, too. The Governor was still talking in her Sarah Palin voice. The joke stopped being funny eight weeks ago. By now, the Governor has joined That 70’s Guy and the Powers That Be in the Russo Gimmick Hall of Fame. Then Wilde proceeded to do an interview that would have been great if she were a heel. Too bad she’s the closest thing resembling a top babyface in the Knockouts Division. First she talked about how phony the Beautiful People are because they have fake blond hair. This from a woman who doesn’t appear to be naturally blond. Then she talked about how the Beautiful People are outnumbered because Cute Kip can’t lay a hand on them. And that’s supposed to gain the fans’ sympathy? Seems to be a tease of a third Beautiful People member joining the fold, which was prove Wilde wrong, becoming the latest babyface to be made a fool of. That’s a growing list, of course.
Abyss had another therapy session with Dr. Stevie. The basis from these sessions appears to be the old Comedy Central show Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist. Well, except Dr. Katz was funny. In the year 2020, Abyss doing interviews will be featured on WWE 24/7 during a program entitled “The Best of Wrestling Purgatory: Ideas that Killed Our Competitors.” Abyss just laughed about causing other people pain. Stevie, who’s chin was shown, said time was up and that was it. Rushed, but why complain?
2. LAX and Shane Sewell during Brutus Magnus, Sheik Abdul Bashir and Matt Morgan. As much talk as TNA delivered last year about Morgan being underutilized by WWE (and deservedly so), he comes off less and less special every week on Impact. Sewell is about 20% as over as he was a month ago. Morgan, with his left shoulder taped, gave Sewell the carbon footprint. Bashir was about to hit Sewell with a chair outside the ring, but referee Earl Hebner pulled him to safety. Hernandez got the hot tag and gave Magnus the shock treatment. Homicide gave Morgan the tope con giro. Hernandez finished off Bashir with the border toss, followed by a Randy Savage elbow from Sewell for the pin. *1/2
Mick Foley’s Hardcore History 101 was so rushed, it was tough to understand what Foley was talking about. He spoke of spending time in refrigerated cardboard boxes, then talked about dropping an elbow on Sting off the second rope onto the floor. I know Foley was doing that spot in World Class during his days under the name Cactus Jack Manson. He might have been referring to an angle on a Clash of the Champions when Madusa came out of an elevated tent in a genie’s outfit dancing for Sting. When Sting dropped his guard, Jack ran out of the tent and jumped him from behind. But I think that angle ended with Sting giving Jack a hip toss off the ramp.
Jim Cornette came out and said someone accepted Beer Money’s challenge, but didn’t say who.
Scott Steiner was in the back lifting weights. Steiner badly exposed his age here. He looked like he was curling 25 pound weights, then got on a bench press where he was doing reps at 135 pounds. Even Black Machismo was benching more than that during that horrid angle last year when So Cal Val was teasing breaking up with him. Steiner made so many passes at Lauren, he threatened several NFL records set by Tom Brady. Steiner started to bench when he started running down Samoa Joe. Then an arm appeared off camera to compress the bench down against Steiner’s chest, and it was Joe cutting a promo on him. It was a good idea in theory, but in practice it looked bad because Steiner was using such light weight. Joe said his Path of Violence would run all over Steiner, and finally released the weight. Lauren’s acting left a lot to be desired, as well.
Sojourner Bolt did an interview saying that she was going to go all out against Awesome Kong when she fights for the TNA Knockouts Title. Raisha Saeed confronted her about fighting someone in the Kongtourage, and Bolt told her off. Just another group teasing dissension, as if we haven’t had enough of that in this company.
3. Taylor Wilde defeated Angelina Love. Cute Kip tripped Wilde, which caused referee Rudy Charles to eject him from ringside. Love gave Wilde a neck snap off the ropes for a two count. Love hit a scissor kick for a near fall. Wilde threw several dropkicks and a spinning backbreaker in her comeback. Love hit the Lights Out, but Charles was distracted by Roxxi and Velvet Sky arguing. Finish came when the Governor tripped Love, leading to Wilde getting the pin with a schoolgirl cradle. ¾*
Then came the first excerpts of videotapes turned in for the Win a Date for ODB contest, and it was every bit as bad as previous segments where fans send in tapes. They showed just two samples, and it was every bit of the worst stereotype of wrestling fans as you would imagine. Exactly what this company doesn’t need.
Sting came down from the rafters to do a promo regarding his match with Angle tonight.
TNA Rough Cut continued a preview of the Ultimate X matches of the past. It was just wrestlers talking about how smaller wrestlers tend to have an advantage, though heavyweights like Hernandez and Brother Dvon have also done well.
4. Beer Money defeated Petey Williams and Eric Young in an Off the Wagon Challenge. Williams lost the fall, so he now leaves TNA. Williams and Young came out to the old Team Canada music and ring gear. They made mention that Roode was once a member of that team, as well. Jacqueline interfered with Young to build the heat. They did the Beer Money spot, which the crowd is participating in now. Young gave Storm a knee lift, but Roode pulled Williams off the apron to prevent the hot tag. Young blocked the Eye of the Storm and hit an enzuigiri and make the hot tag to Williams. Williams hit a satellite Russian leg sweep on Roode. Later, Roode attempted the payoff, but Young caught Williams and it turned into a tornado DDT. Young and Williams tried a double superplex onto Storm, but it turned into a Tower of Doom spot where Roode power bombed Williams and Young, while Storm took the worst blow of all. Jacqueline tried a splash onto Williams but missed. Then Williams teased a Canadian Destroyer on Jacqueline, but Roode hooked his leg, and Storm hit a last call superkick for the pin. **3/4
Williams looked legitimately crushed afterwards. Crowd gave him a standing ovation and chanted his name as Williams was in tears before it was over. At least it was handled better than Victoria’s departure from WWE. Now, can someone explain to me why Cute Kip has a job in this company but Williams doesn’t?
Team 3-D and Rhino did an interview about Sting’s showdown with Angle. Rhino was unclear who he wanted to win because he respected Sting and Angle. Brother Ray was much more clear, saying both men were a cancer to TNA. Ray and Dvon invited Rhino to the strip club, where Dvon had a white girl waiting for him. Lauren, against her will, joined them.
5. The show ended with the empty arena match. Mike Tenay said something like this was unprecedented. Well, I liked it better the first time when Terry Funk and Jerry Lawler did it in 1982. And even then, it didn’t improve business. Nash and Steiner were watching from a monitor at the entrance tunnel. Wasn’t this supposed to be an empty arena match? Sting and Angle fought around ringside and up the bleachers. Angle threw some still elbows and fell over the seats at an uncomfortable angle. Sting threw Angle into a wall. They again climbed up to the bleachers, which again exposed how small the Impact Zone really is. Sting finally sent Angle over a fence and onto a floor, which looked like a good eight foot drop. Of course, West talked about Angle falling 15 feet. Angle recovered immediately and hit Angle with a trash can. They wound up back at ringside, where Sting missed a charge into the barricade and Angle kicked him low. Angle teased hitting him with a chair, but Sting kicked him and hit him with a chair over the back. Sting grabbed the char and teased hitting him over the head. Angle begged for mercy and asked him not to. Angle said he was sorry. Nash came out. So much for empty arena. Angle then dared him to hit him. Sting started to do it, but then Nash grabbed the chair and Steiner grabbed Angle. Nash screamed at Angle and told them that the Main Event Mafia was all about family, and ordered them to shake hands. Sting extended his hand, and Angle reluctantly shook it. But then Angle spit in his face, which led to more blows being exchanged. Finally, security stepped in and the segment ended.
Show ended with Sting and Angle cutting fired up promos on each other. Nash was upset with Angle, saying all of this was his fault.
