Monday Night RAW Results (2/16) — New Beginnings…

Full Credit: James Caldwell, PWTorch.com

WWE Raw Live Report
February 16, 2009
Spokane, Wash.

The show started with a quiet arena. Lilian Garcia then introduced Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero to a chorus of boos. Vickie then introduced the new World Hvt. champion, Edge, who stole the belt from John Cena at No Way Out last night. Edge and Vickie then grasped hands and Edge wobbled onto stage before his pyro shot off. They entered the ring. Jerry Lawler confirmed that John Cena is no longer the World Hvt. champion despite knocking out Kofi Kingston last night to take his spot in the Raw Chamber.

Edge said Rated R stands for remarkable tonight. Or resplendent. Or really, really smart. Edge said he could have gone home and cried about losing the WWE Title in the opening Chamber match, but he took matters into his own hands. He could have been like the fans: “Big fat, failure turtles” and crawled into their shells. Edge said the fans told him he’s a loser after the opening match, but they were all wrong. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

Edge then jumped out of the ring and jumped around telling everyone they’re wrong. Where’s Pepe the imaginary stick for that horse ride? He stopped at one kid on the front row and told him he’ll grow up to be wrong his entire life. Kid smiled. Pops booed. Edge said Jesus turned water into wine (Jesus’s first recorded miracle), but he turned the WWE Title into the World Hvt. Title.

Vickie took the mic and said Stephanie took Shane to the hospital during last night’s show, which made her the highest-ranking authority figure in WWE. And so, she had to make a decision to find a suitable replacement for Kofi. And no one is more deserving than her husband, Edge. Back to the Board of Directors, who confirmed Vickie’s decision that Edge is officially the World Hvt. champion. Boos. He said each and every one of them might not like it, but they will accept it. Cue up the big mid-ring liplock between storyline hubby and wife.

On cue, John Cena’s music interrupted and Cena came out on stage to a huge pop. Once in the ring, Cena adjusted his cap and looked at his World Title belt resting on Edge’s shoulder. Cena paused for the “Cena, Cena” chant before thanking them. Cena said they might not like what he says next. “Congratulations,” he told Edge. Cena said how Edge got into that match is irrelevant because the fact is Edge won fair and square. He can’t say he likes it, but congrats. Cena very calm before officially proclaiming Edge the new World champ.

Cena said he’s remarkable, really really lucky, right place right time, and … re-match. Crowd like that one. Edge furrowed his eyebrow. He said he competed in two Chamber matches last night, so he’s not competing tonight. Maybe not for a week. Maybe not even a month. If you want to see Edge in the ring, check him out on Smackdown. Cena said he understands that. He wants Edge fresh. Cena told Edge to tell Festus and Funaki to say hello. He then threw up in his mouth a little bit thinking about Edge and Vickie doing whatever they do on Smackdown.

Cena said he officially does have a re-match against officially the World champ. Edge said he forgot all about that little Cena wit. Maybe he forget the history. Let’s refresh it back to when Edge cashed in MITB to win his first WWE Title from Cena. (New Year’s Resolution 2007.) Or when he went to Cena’s home and slapped his old man. Edge then took Cena’s line that the champ is here. Edge did the You Can’t See Me wave in front of Cena, then he tried to walk off, but Cena yanked him back. Cena said if Edge tries to hide, he’ll find him. You try to run, and I’ll catch you. “We’re going to fight, and I’m going to hurt you,” Cena said. He shoved him away, then Edge stared back at him. Cue up Cena’s music as Edge dipped out of the ring. Edge and Vickie dipped out as Michael Cole recapped everything from last night’s main event.

[Q2]

Backstage: They showed Shane McMahon staring into the hard camera. He said he’s proposing the following to Randy Orton: meet me in the ring to end this tonight. No Cody, no Ted, no Legacy. Shane said it ends tonight. My goodness, how can I get his rejuvenating power to recover from a brutal beating and a trip to the hospital to look completely fresh and unscraped? Is he chugging JBL’s secret potion?

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Cryme Tyme was already in the ring for the opening six-man tag match. Intercontinental champion C.M. Punk then came out as their tag partner. William Regal came out as the first part of the heel trio, followed by Cody & Teddy of Legacy.

1 — PRICELESS (CODY RHODES & TED DIBIASE, JR.) & WILLIAM REGAL (w/Layla) vs. CRYME TYME (SHAD GASPAR & JTG) & IC champion C.M. PUNK

Crow firmly behind Punk to start things off. Punk had his right elbow heavily taped, and he quickly delivered a kick to the face on Cody. Punk then nailed the Go 2 Sleep about 45 seconds into the match before making a cover, but Regal broke it up. DiBiase dragged Cody to the outside and they cut to break with the heels retreating.

[Commercial Break]

They returned from break with Punk kicked Regal off the apron, but DiBiase nailed Punk from behind to smash him through the ropes to the floor. Regal then rolled Punk back into the ring to allow DiBiase to work on Punk. Layla encouraged Regal to kill Punk, but Punk fought back with a kick strike. Regal answered with a knee to the face before Cody tagged in and sold a jaw injury from the G2S earlier in the match.

[Q3]

At 7:30, JTG took the hot tag, but his offense was short-lived as DiBiase and Cody quickly took out JTG mid-ring. DiBiase then dropped JTG with the Dream Street – a Cobra Clutch Russian legsweep. He made the cover for the decisive win.

WINNERS: Priceless & Regal at 8:10. Okay match. Cryme Tyme report card – no pre-match ring intro, Shad had virtually zero TV time, and JTG’s comeback was cut off very quickly. Meanwhile, IC Title feud of Punk vs. Regal continues to flounder. (*1/4)

Backstage: Stephanie McMahon was chewing out Shane McMahon for challenging Orton to a fight tonight. She tried to talk Shane into thinking clearly after spending the night in the hospital. Shane said this is happening tonight whether Orton wants it or night. He walked off, leaving Steph quite frustrated.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Chris Jericho was in the ring out of the break sporting a suit. He looked very upset and shared his stare with the crowd ringside. Jericho said the Academy Awards are this Sunday, so he is imploring the voters not to vote for Mickey Rourke. See, if he wins, that could send a message to all of the “Hall of Famers” and “washed up, hasbeen losers” who are leeching off this business. He said he knows why the fans “respect” the legends and enable them because they are like the fans: weak, shallow, insecure human beings. Jericho said they need to be shut up and shut down for their own good. Suddenly, Roddy Piper’s music interrupted.

Piper walked out on stage looking tan (in a healthy way) with a little more volume to his hair. Piper, who made a name for himself in the Northwest, asked the music to be cut. He said he’s going to shoot with Jericho on the truth. Piper said he’s watched Jericho his entire career and he likes him. Tell you why. Jericho says what’s on his mind, then you have the guts to come in the ring and back it up. Now, you get on TV and call out Flair and himself. What happened to being entertaining? Piper accused Jericho of patronizing the fans, then told him to shut the hell up.

Jericho told Piper to keep dancing on a string for these fans. Piper interrupted that he’s not finished. He said Rourke is his friend and he watched his movie, “The Wrestler.” Piper said he cried. The movie is not about a bunch of old-timers that want another run, he said. He said the movie is about the honor and respect we have for everyone. Piper said it’s about the physical and emotional pain. Most of all, most important, they do what they do for the thrill of performing.

Piper…is…taking…his…time…delivering…this…promo. Piper said Flair was right that they live for this. He said fans come up to Piper and say they remember watching Piper slap Mr. T and shave Adrian Adonis’s head. Chris, you want to bury these moments. No, these moments are to be celebrated. Piper said last year, he was in the Royal Rumble in MSG. He said 24,000 people jumped to their feet and for one second, he felt like he was back at the first WrestleMania. 24,000 in MSG? Must be on the “WWE scale of over-exaggeration” of saying WrestleMania 3 drew over 94,000.

[Q4]

Piper shook his head remembering the good ol’ times. He said he might have one good hip and he might hurt all the time, but he’ll crawl out here on his hands and knees to give the fans one more memorable moment. Cause “old school’s cool,” he said. Jericho looked down at the mat, then kneed him in the groin before pie-facing Piper. Lawler was indignant on commentary. Jericho screamed down at Piper to crawl on his knees. Jericho kicked Piper again, then unbuttoned his jacket and left the ring. Big heel heat on Jericho. Lawler said this might be the worst thing he’s ever seen on Raw. He called Jericho a complete jerk.

Caldwell’s Analysis: I think Piper was trying to win the Place Your Bet challenge for longest talking segment of the show dragging out his words on the promo. (Came in just short of the opening segment.) Still, that made for a great promo exchange leading to Jericho regaining his momentum as a top heel. Piper remained coherent during the promo after warming up in the first two minutes, so it made for a very nice exchange. Looking forward to seeing what WWE actually does with Jericho, Flair, Rourke, Piper, et al. To make it clear, I thought Piper’s emotion was spot-on and his promo delivery was very effective to set up his major points. It just took some time to get there.

Backstage: Todd Grisham brought in Randy Orton for a word on Shane’s challenge. Orton said he has no problem fighting Shane, but he has a problem with the implication that he needs Cody and Teddy to do his dirty work. They won’t be there tonight and if Shane wants a fight until someone isn’t moving, then he can make that happen. Orton stared off into space in deep thought.

[Commercial Break]

WrestleMania recall: They went back to WrestleMania 9. Why?!?!?! Showed Jim Ross debuting in WWE sporting a toga. And then Hulk Hogan pulling an Edge by taking the WWE Title from Yokozuna after Bret Hart lost it in the main event. Good times.

In-ring: Jamie Noble smiled after watching the clip, then talked about the day after No Way Out being so important kicking off the road to WrestleMania. He said he’s never been in Money in the Bank, but when Noble gets his big Mania moment, he won’t fumble. Noble said Chavo Guerrero only made it nine seconds last year and this year… Cue up Kane’s pyro explosion music, who was the perpetrator of the nine-second match last year. Ya know, it’s almost been an hour and we’ve had one match.

2 — KANE vs. JAMIE NOBLE

Boot. Chokeslam. Pin. Kane made the cover for the win. Lawler had 16 seconds. I had 15.2 seconds on the stopwatch. Winner for Shortest Match of the night.

WINNER: Kane at 0:15. Well, nearly an hour of TV and still less than ten minutes of TV. And almost half of that occurred during the commercial.

Backstage: JBL was shown walking around sporting a huge shiner over his right eye. He looked very upset with things. And he has a major announcement concerning Shawn Michaels tonight.

Caldwell’s Observation: I sure hope the second hour of the show delivers some semblance of WrestleMania direction. Edge-Cena left the show kinda hanging there like, okay, well, something may or may not happen somewhere at some time, perhaps, but maybe on Smackdown, okay maybe not. Throw in another round of SuperShane vs. Orton and we’re looking at a directionless episode of TV barring a very strong second hour. Let’s see how it goes.

[Commercial Break]

ECW plug: Christian returned to ECW. And he return yielded immediate…impact. heavy emphasis on the word Impact.

[Q5 — second hour]

In-ring: Just a minute before the top of the second hour, JBL’s limo pulled up and JBL stepped out of the ring looking down on his luck with a busted lip and shiner over his right eye. JBL took the mic and said as of last night, Shawn Michaels is no longer his employee. His people wrote Michaels a very hefty check last night and he is now financially stable. … And he could care less. JBL said people may call Michaels rich, but he is still wealthy because he has more money than any of the people in this arena.

JBL said he hired Michaels to get him to WrestleMania 25 as the conquering hero, but after No Way Out last night, he had an epiphany. Those goals were too small, you see. JBL said his goals are much grander and are about immortality because he believes he has a date with destiny at WrestleMania. Something no one has ever done and that is to end The Streak. JBL wants The Undertaker. His date with destiny is to go to WrestleMania and defeat Taker. And there, it will be known he is the greatest wrestler of all-time.

Not so fast, said Shawn Michaels’s music. Michaels came out on stage fired up and back to the old Michaels dancing in the streets. Michaels came into the ring and danced on the ring apron before tossing away his Cowboy hat. JBL still had his on. Michaels smiled in JBL’s face as the fans chanted “H-B-K.” A little Scott Hall look from Michaels. He said last night, he had an epiphany too. Michaels said he can’t spell it, but he had one of those. He is no longer Shawn Michaels employee of the month or struggling, conflicted family man. You are looking at the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels, the headliner, the showstopper, the main event.

Michaels said more importantly, you are looking into the eyes of Mr. WrestleMania. Free at last, free at last. Michaels said a man said to him last month at the Royal Rumble that it’s hell to get to heaven. He said now standing here looking toward WrestleMania, he realized he’s living heaven on earth. As far as he can tell, there is no better someone to face The Undertaker than the man who revolutionized the ladder match, wrestled for over an hour and won the WWE Title, the man who had the Match of the Year 2008 against Flair, and since it’s only a two-hour show, he’s going to stop right there.

Michaels said if there’s anyone who should face Taker at WM 25, you’re looking at him. JBL sneered in Michaels’s face, then said being able to pay your bills has given Michaels a little resurgence in his manhood. Beating Taker at WM is his destiny, not Shawn’s, said JBL. Michaels reminded JBL he can’t tell him what to do anymore, so here’s his proposition. Next week: Michaels vs. JBL and the winner gets Undertaker at WrestleMania to beat The Streak. JBL smirked, then slowly said he accepts.

Michaels smiled. Looks like they’re doing business one more time, he said. And just so you know, it’s going to be a little bit different. When he pushes him, he’s going to push back. Michaels poked JBL on the chest several times while proclaiming Michaels vs. Taker at WrestleMania. He had one final parting shot that JBL will be lucky to even make it to Mania. Michaels started to leave, then returned to poke JBL in the chest a few more times for good measure. Michaels left and celebrated on stage while JBL sneered at him from inside the ring.

Video package: IED reference tonight, as they recapped the Orton-McMahon feud following Orton punting Vince in the head before the Royal Rumble. Lonnnnng video package.

Backstage: They showed Shane McMahon warming himself up preparing for his whooping.

[Q6]

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Rey Mysterio’s music hit and Rey came out as Michael Cole described Rey’s WrestleMania quality performance last night. Rey limped out on stage sporting a black biker looking get-up. After zero hype on the show, it’s Rey vs. Mike Knox.

3 — REY MYSTERIO vs. MIKE KNOX

Bell sounded and Knox kicked Rey in the gut to put a beating on sore Rey. Knox wanted a shoulderbreaker, but Rey slipped out only to take a big knock-down clothesline. Knox then chucked Rey over the top rope to inflict more pain, cutting to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Rey was still taking a beating out of the break. Rey tried a comeback, but Rey snapped off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a two count. Rey recovered on the floor, but Knox chased him back into the ring to whip Rey hard into the corner turnbuckle. Lots of talk about Rey taking such physical punishment like no one else in WWE history. Knox stalked Rey, who fought back with kicks to the body before Knox stomped him with a boot to the gut. Knox slowly picked up Rey, then put him in a bearhug at 8:00.

Rey escaped by twisting over Knox’s body into a drop toehold that took Knox to the middle rope. Rey hit the 619, then wanted a springboard smash, but Knox ducked before hanging Rey upside down in the corner. Knox landed body blows on Rey before a referee reprimand took him back into the corner. Knox tried to charge Rey for a smash, but Rey back-flipped to avoid him, then Rey rolled up Knox from behind for the pin and the win. Announcers were shocked. Knox stood motionless in the ring trying to figure out what happened.

WINNER: Rey at 9:45. Nice victory for Rey. We keep thinking it’s the blow-off match to this feud, but perhaps there will be yet another Knox vs. Rey match down the line considering Knox had this one won a few times. This wasn’t half-bad for Knox, who is developing a certain big-man charisma that’s subtle and effective. (*1/2)

[Q7]

Backstage: They showed Beth, Rosa, and Santino preparing for Beth’s Women’s Title match.

[Commercial Break]

4 — Women’s champion MELINA vs. BETH PHOENIX (w/Santino Marella and Rosa Mendes) — Women’s Title match

After Rosa and Santino tried to interfere, the babyface divas stormed ringside to attack Beth on the floor. Melina took advantage by pinning Beth back in the ring to retain the Women’s Title. Hopefully this will lead to a blow-up of Team Glamarella. The program has been losing steam for weeks.

WINNER: Melina at 3:15. Standard divas match. Not much time allotted for a competitive bout. (*)

2009 Hall of Fame: They announced Terry and Dory Funk as the next round of inductees to follow Steve Austin. Plenty of footage and still photos from the territory era. Old-school clips of Terry and Dory winning the NWA Title. Shot of Eddie Graham sitting next to Terry. They’ll be inducted by Dusty Rhodes.

[Commercial Break]

[Q8]

ECW plug: ECW champ Jack Swagger & Mark Henry against Finlay & Christian.

Announcers: Cole and Lawler talked up Edge winning Raw’s World Title last night. They talked about Cena talking re-match in the opening segment. Cue up a recap of the opening promo.

Backstage: Stephanie was on the phone again asking that person to hurry up and save Shane McMahon from going through with this deal against Randy Orton. She lost the connection on the phone, then chucked the phone down and sat down on the couch in dismay.

[Commercial Break]

Announcers: They plugged Michaels vs. JBL on next week’s show with the winner getting The Undertaker at WrestleMania 25.

In-ring: Shane McMahon danced out on stage in his street clothes. No limp. No sign of pain from last night. He was even chewing on some gum. The man is impervious to pain. Is he human? He is the son of Vince. Randy Orton’s music hit, then Orton strolled out on stage covered in grease. Shane grew tired of how long it took Orton to come to the ring, so Shane met him on the floor for their unsanctioned fight. There was an exchange of haymakers, then they spilled to the front row of the stands. Shane flew off the guardrail with a clothesline that knocked down Orton, then he landed a straight right hand.

They brawled to the production area near the hard camera area, using various computer equipment as weaponry. An iMac was nearly used as a TV monitor. Orton knocked Shane back over the guardrail near the announce table, where he rammed Shane head-first into the table. Shane took a blow to the ring steps, then Orton kicked him on the back and face. They entered the ring where Orton began toying with Shane by stomping him repeatedly. Camera focused on Orton’s face as a hint of drool slowly left his chin. Wonderful. Orton knocked Shane to the outside.

[Q9 — over-run]

At the top of the hour, Orton continued the assault on Shane. Lawler said that’s enough, then Shane suddenly SuperShaned and tackled Orton across the announce table. He started landing those right hand blows before using the announce table chair to knock around Orton. Shane, sweating like crazy, then picked up the ringbell and cracked it over Orton’s head. Announcers were silent during most of this, allowing front row fans to add their commentary. Shane then rolled Orton inside the ring and put him in position for the coast-to-coast. Except, Shane put a chair in front of Orton instead of a trashcan.

Shane went to the opposite corner, shook off the pain he was feeling, then set up for Coast to Coast, only to have DiBiase and Rhodes storm the ring and put a beat down on Shane. Cheaters! Cole said Orton supposedly didn’t need their help. This time, they put a beating on Shane including Cody hitting his spin-out facebuster. Orton then came to life and slowly walked over to Shane’s lifeless body. He looked at his boys to give them non-verbal instructions, then Orton slowly backed up. He measured Shane for The Punt and connected square in the head. Shane went numb, then rolled onto his back. SuperShane would have no-sold and popped to his feet.

Stephanie McMahon then ran out to the ring and checked on Shane, whose eyes were rolling in the back of his head. Steph checked on Shane, then medics hit the ring to check on her brother. With IED flashing in his eyes, Orton slowly walked over to the scene. Shane was put on a back brace as Orton slowly peered down. Steph then stood up to plead with Orton not to do any more damage. He suddenly snapped and hit the RKO on Steph. Orton snapped out of his IED and backed away to the ring ropes to observe the scene.

Triple H then stormed the ring without any music and went right to Stephanie to check on his wife. Hunter was in street clothes and surveyed the scene while Orton and his cronies slowly made their way on stage. Hunter then had this intense, intense look of pain, anger, near-tears, and Hogan-hulking-up written on his face. Very much made for a WWE video package. Orton realized he did some damage and his face retreated. They closed with everyone KO’ed except for Hunter, who stared at Orton on stage looking to kill him. There’s your WM main event for Orton cashing in his Royal Rumble title victory.