Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends We’re so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside as it is I the one and only Phantom Lord and this is my Rant Of The Week. I felt like using the ultra rare Emerson, Lake, & Palmer intro for this column just because I like to change things up once in a while. I know most of you don’t really care either way, but I actually do type out every intro so it’s not like I’m just copy and pasting from my last column. Speaking of my last column, I made one small comment about what state of mind I might be in post election and the next thing I know there was a ton of Sarah Palin bashing feedback (God bless TNA, I’ll get to her in a little bit).
Election night I was doing a live radio show on LethalWrestling.com and it’s funny because you can actually pin point the exact moment I lost it on air. It was all tongue in cheek though so it’s not like I was seriously losing it. But I did love channeling George C. Scott from the great cult movie HARDCORE. So if your bored I suggest go to Lethal and download Lethal Radio 4 because it’s almost 5 hours of hilarity. Plus you can find out how I some how said seminal cream with out even realizing it. That right there is worth the download and charging of the Ipod. Download number 5 while you’re at it since that was a good show to. We just recorded show number six and it was by far our best show to date with reaction to Lesnar/Couture and some stuff about TNA, Roddy Piper and his daughter on TMZ, and much more. It’s the funniest damn hour in wrestling/mma interweb radio shows. So that one is up for your downloading pleasure as well.
I almost recovered from the depression I said I would have if Obama won. I was doing fine and then it had to hit me. The 25th was my birthday and that general feeling of meh is back. But that went away tonight with the series finale of The Shield. Damn that might have been the best 90 plus minutes of television ever on broadcast or cable.
Moving on to the wrestling stuff, I just read an interesting little tid bit about WWE 24/7 and how they are stretching out the Monday Night Wars which is by far one of the best reasons to sign up for the service.
There are currently no “Monday Night Wars” episodes available on WWE 24/7 after the latest content update. As those of you who are subscribers have probably noticed, WWE is trying to drag out the episodes of RAW and Nitro from the 90’s as long as possible.
Well I would hope this doesn’t mean the Monday Night Wars will end simply when they get to the point where the WWE started beating Nitro in the ratings on a regular basis. I think this has a bit more to do with Chris Benoit then anything else. When you get to about 1998 or so he started becoming a bigger part of the show and having more high profile matches. After a while it’s going to be hard to just erase him from history so I would imagine if the current WWE mindset continues they would probably just not air those episodes rather then just edit them.
I don’t want to get into the whole Benoit murder thing. But with the recent anniversary of Eddie Guerrero’s untimely death you can’t help but think about him since those two were so inter twined in each other’s history. The new Eddie Guerrero DVD that the WWE just put out does not include any of their matches, which is a shame because they at least deserve to be seen. I would hope someday Benoit can be put back into 24/7 and that would be that but I’m guessing the chances of that happening are about the same as The Macho Man getting into the Hall Of Fame and his own 3 disc set.
Speaking of Eddie it is hard to believe it’s been three years since his death. I have made my opinions well known over these last couple of years that I believe the only reason Vickie even took a job with the WWE is because they shafted her on the royalties all the Eddie Memorial merchandise. But despite that she has managed to become with out a doubt the most over heel in the company. The heat she draws from crowds is down right nuclear and no one even comes close to touching it.
It how ever annoyed me to no end last week when Triple H had to do his little smart ass bit and started rattling off fat jokes on Vickie Guerrero. Of all the times they had to do it, it had to be on the day the show airs right after the third anniversary of Eddie’s death. I am probably looking into it to much but then again this is Triple H and he is notorious for burying people any chance he can get.
I just wish they would treat Vickie with some more respect then what they usually do with her. Plus the more I think about it, I think it’s fairly obvious the Edge/Vickie gimmick was sabotaged. They never did anything with Edge and the wedding planner. She just disappeared and was not seen again until this week on ECW when she accompanied some new guy to the ring. I’m guessing in the WWE Universe, she was never a wedding planner and we must forget that ever happened.
Damn I think someone had it right when they said the WWE Universe must sort of be like The Marvel or DC Universe. Only those universes have better writing.
Moving along from that seriousness, I present some comedy thanks to the folks at TNA. You know no matter how bad things are, you can always count on TNA to do something so stupid it will make you laugh and folks I have such a thing here for you to read. I know this one is about a week old, but hell something this stupid deserves to be re-hashed just to let sink in.
TOTAL NONSTOP ACTION (TNA) WRESTLING INVITES ALASKA GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN TO JOIN “THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE”
TNA ANNOUNCES SPECIAL “SARAH PALIN CEREMONY” FOR DECEMBER 7 AT ITS “FINAL RESOLUTION” PAY-PER-VIEW IN ORLANDO. TNA AGREES TO DONATE $50,000 TO GOV. PALIN’S FAVORITE CHARITY OR ALASKAN YOUTH HOCKEY LEAGUE.
Total Nonstop Action (TNA) Wrestling has announced that it is formally inviting Alaska governor and former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin to become an honorary member of “The Beautiful People,” the elite group of TNA Knockouts led by Angelina Love and Velvet Sky.
TNA officials said a “Sarah Palin Ceremony” is scheduled for December 7 at its “Final Resolution” pay-per-view as part of her “Honorary TNA Knockout” membership in The Beautiful People, and TNA President Dixie Carter will personally fly Gov. Palin and her husband, Todd, from their home in Anchorage to Orlando, Florida, for the December event. TNA Wrestling will make the formal invitation to Gov. Palin Thursday, November 13, on “TNA iMPACT!” at 9 p.m. ET/PT on Spike.
TNA will present Gov. Palin with a $50,000 check at “Final Resolution” made out to the charity of her choice, or will make the donation to the youth hockey association in her native Wasilla, Alaska. “Governor Palin has combined her experiences as a wife and mother with her political savvy to prove to America and the world that politics aren’t just a man’s game. I know firsthand what challenges you have to face when breaking a glass ceiling in a male-dominate profession,” Carter said.
Credit to TNAWrestling.com
Where can I begin with this one?
Oy Vey
I think that says it all really. TNA is much like a little child desperate for attention any way it can get it. Every time they try something to get “main stream attention” it always fails and everyone ends up laughing at them.
Case and point the Pacman Jones debacle. TNA hoped to get some main stream press from ESPN and other outlets and all they really got was Tony Kornheiser on PTI pondering if TNA was like the Arena Football League as a minor league of some sort to the WWE’s NFL.
The comparison was spot on because TNA does come off as like a minor league any chance they get and this is no exception.
Now we have TNA desperately trying to get some attention this time for a poorly put together pay per view and while the company is in the middle of cost cutting they would piss away $50 grand while certain members of the roster who are deserving of pay raises will get nothing. The money can be better spent maybe advertising in a way that would pay off rather then one that will get them laughed at. I don’t think there is any chance in hell the real Sarah Palin would show up, but in the small off chance she says what the heck please for the love of God keep Kute Kip out of the damn ring. Of course I have a funny feeling if they do end up putting this stupid thing on the PPV, a Sarah Palin look alike will probably get the paper bag treatment. Maybe they can get that chick Lisa Ann from the Hustler video “Who’s Nailin Palin” to do it.
Nah TNA doesn’t have the guts to do anything that would get them any real attention.
Now when I speak of giving certain people raises I am talking about the TNA Knockouts. The Knockouts whether some people in TNA like it or not are by far the best ratings draws they have and numerous reports have come out about how underpaid they are. First cast and point was Gail Kim who made the division not a joke. According to some reports, she practically begged TNA to match the WWE’s offer so she could stay. Well Gail is apparently back in the WWE now so I guess TNA couldn’t make it worth her while.
Another report came out last week or so that Awesome Kong asked for a pay raise and TNA turned her down flat and she might actually be in their doghouse because of it. This is the same management that buried the Motor City Machine Guns for months just because they wouldn’t bleed during a meaningless beat down segment. They’ve also managed to turn Samoa Joe from one of the most feared guys in TNA to one of the most laughed at since all he does is whines like a bitch now. Before A.J. Styles was given a serious push again, he was booked to look like a retard any chance they got for the better part of the last year or so.
Of course if you want infuriating when it comes to TNA Management/Creative/Jeff Jarrett and his people just look at The Main Event Mafia.
Now I like this group as a whole, but my God please stop harping on past achievements.
I WAS A BIG THING IN THE WWE…LOOK AT ME….WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
I RAN WCW INTO THE GROUND AND MADE A TON OF MONEY IN THE PROCESS…WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Why not just call this group The Outsiders and get it over with all ready.
But having said that I still like the group for the most part. I mean I can never hate on Kurt Angle no matter how suicidal he is or Kevin Nash no matter how brittle he is. Scott Steiner will always make me watch just to see what he says and Booooooooookah is so over the top you can’t help but love him. The only odd man out in this whole thing is Sting because he doesn’t really do that much. For what ever reason he refuses to go full out heel like the rest of them. I read the reason why he doesn’t do much is because in this “mafia” he is supposed to be like The Godfather. In a way that makes sense so I’m guessing this means Kurt Angle is Sonny to Sting’s Don Vito. Of course the only down side to that is there is no happy ending for Sonny so lets hope Kurt Angle isn’t stopping at a toll lane any time soon.
Apparently TNA is coming up with a new name for the young guns since TNA Originals doesn’t quite work when most of the so called originals have only been in the company at the most two or three years. Of course when the company as a whole is only six years old there are only so many originals you can use. I read one report from The Wrestling Observer that a name TNA kicked around for them was Team Ecstasy. I have always questioned what kinds of drugs the people in TNA were on and I think we just got an idea. Of all the names they could come up with, Team Ecstasy is the best they can do? Well now that I think about it these are the same people who came up with Feast or Fired which saw Christopher Daniels get a pink slip, Scott Steiner trade away his World title shot, and another attempt at Billy Gunn trying to be relevant when he turned heel on BG James because he wanted to have a title match with his dad.
I think in my last column or the one before it I said I would be willing to give Mick Foley time to see where this all goes. But with all that I have seen right now, man I am running out of patience. No offense to Mick, but my God I didn’t think anyone could ever out do the Invasion and right now TNA is managing to do that some how. Between the WCW-esq booking and just their general ineptitude I’m honestly amazed how they continue to even do business.
.
You know what, I’m done writing about them for now. The more and more I think about TNA the more and more annoyed I get and I honestly don’t need that right now.
So for my own sanity we are moving along from the annoying to the dull.
John Cena is now the World Heavyweight Champion. I’m glad technically speaking that the WWE doesn’t recognize the NWA/WCW World title in their lineage because the thought of John Cena being on the same level as Lou Thesz, Harley Race, Dory and Terry Funk, and Ric Flair just doesn’t seem right. I know some people will be like “oh but Cena has improved”. To a point he has and depending on the person he’s wrestling he can have a stellar match. Vince is trying desperately to make him the new Hulk Hogan. Honestly I see him as the new Sting of sorts. I mean give him some neon colored tights and face paint and he would look like Sting from around 1988 or so. Of course both Cena and Sting were trained by Rick Bassman so that would explain why they have similar styles.
The Hogan comparison is more appropriate since Cena always “over comes the odds”. I respect the hell out of Chris Jericho, but the match he had with Cena at the Survivor Series was boring as hell. I hear the whole PPV was pretty much a downer minus Edge’s return and surprise win for the WWE title. What they are doing with Jeff Hardy might be the only worth while thing the WWE is doing right now. I mean if they build it right, Edge/Hardy would be a major money match at Wrestlemania 25. Of course that all hinges on Jeff keeping his shit together. On Sunday morning when WWE.com posted that article I swear most of the Internet let out a collective AH FUCK thinking he OD’ed or something. Luckily it was just a good old fashion angle and not the worst case scenario.
Speaking of shows I didn’t watch, I need a DVR. I didn’t watch RAW last night while it was on cause I was doing something more productive with my time…sleeping. But Youtube is great. People since people post it in segments and you can fast forward right through most of the crap.
Batista had his best promo ever when I skipped over it. He continues to just be bland and boring and his current run proves that. Batista is more effect as an unmerciful heel who just destroys people. Big Dave being suave and playing an un-insane Ultimate Warrior to John Cena’s Hogan not so much. It annoyed me to no end when he won the world title only to lose it back to Jericho a week later. I mean what the hell was the point of having Jericho losing and winning it back in a week if the plan was to put it on Cena the whole time anyway.
There was some good news for the WWE with Cena’s return. The rating for RAW jumped up by about a point and a half. As much as I might bash John Cena, I do realize the guy is a huge draw for them. For those of us who grew up in the 80’s, we had Hulk Hogan as WWF Champion for a good portion of the decade. If you think about it every decade has it’s dominating champion who holds on the gold for the longest amount of time.
In the 50’s it was Lou Thesz.
In the 60’s it was Bruno Samartino.
In the 70’s it was still Samartino, but you also had Dory Funk Jr, Harley Race, and Bob Backlund
In the 80’s it was Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan.
In the 90’s it was guys like Hogan, Hart, and Austin.
We are now in the 2000’s and aside from Triple H, the standard barer is John Cena.
For the next decade I would safely assume it’s going to still be John Cena but we will also get Randy Orton. I would imagine Edge would be right up there with him to.
Of course I have and many others have made this point before and I’ll say it again. No one will ever come even close to topping Bruno’s combined reigns of over 11 and a half years. We might complain about Cena being forced down our throats, but he hasn’t even hit Hogan’s first run yet much less Backlund or Bruno. So I guess for all of us it could be worse, I mean I could be writing this column in say 2014 and talking about how Cena is still doing his lame wanna be jar head schitck (well that’s assuming we even make it to 2014). I would hope for the sake of John Cena’s character they tweak it a bit by then. He would start to look like Hogan in WCW and how dumb his act was just before the start of the N.W.O.
Speaking of stuff being rehashed, as we saw on RAW this week it looks like they are going full steam ahead with another corporate power struggle this time between Shane and Stephanie over the direction of the show. In a sense it’s a quasi shoot as there have been plenty of stories to come out of WWE production meetings about how Stephanie did what she did to Shane on RAW this week.
The Princess made it known that RAW was her show and Shane smugly replied “well I’ll watch you run it into the ground”. Now that was a shoot if there ever was one. Personally I wish they would just leave Shane in charge. He at least gives the impression that he’s not behind in the times and could actually bring things into the now rather then another “power struggle”. Of course I contend they should have never removed Mike Adamle from power. Had they at least gone with Stephanie contradicting everything Shane said to get Adamle to quit they would have a ready-made angle.
Some of us on the internet had this wacky fantasy booking idea that we would see Adamle bring in Larry Czonka and they would rule RAW with an iron fist. It would have been glorious I tell you but now we have Stephanie wanting to run things and I can only assume this will some how lead to Stephanie vs. Shane vs. Vince going into Wrestlemania. I also suspect Triple H will come back to RAW at some point just because you know he hates being on “The B show”. But on the plus side that would mean they would finally let us in on the worst kept secret in the world that Stephanie and Triple H are married for real.
Speaking of secrets, it appears Vince is not to fond of Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling.
Apparently the situation with Vince McMahon being pissed off at Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling is far worse than it has came off. Vince despises the show and it’s said that he wants to do whatever he can to destroy the show. The irony is that Vince is against the show for “exposing the business” yet The Big Show gets stopped by The Undertaker’s magic wall of flames at Survivor Series.
One source notes that on the flight into Boston, MA for the Survivor Series pay-per-view over the weekend, Vince was ranting and raving about the show, which airs on CMT. Vince said that no man on Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling will ever work for “this company” again, meaning WWE.
Credit to Figure 4 Wrestling news letter
Jesus Christ it’s 2008 I can’t believe there are still people doing the whole exposing the business thing in this day and age.
If Vince wants to get into “Exposing Da Business”, lets get into Exposing it shall we.
In 1988, Vince told the New Jersey State Athletic Commission that the WWF was not a legitimate sport. He said it was “Sports Entertainment”. Even though it had elements of sports, it was in fact staged and thus entertainment. Of course he’s been using this one for over 20 years and he still has to deal with those pesky state commissions. If you have 24/7, watch the latest Legends of Wrestling. Ric Flair does a whole thing on Vince calling wrestling Sports Entertainment and it’s fun to watch.
If we really want to get into exposing the business, I have two words for Vince.
TOUGH ENOUGH.
Granted it wasn’t as bad as Hogan’s show, but you still had a show where people auditioned and were trained with pretty much basic moves and the winner was given a contract to the WWF/E.
Of course Tough Enough did give us John Morrison and The Miz (he tried out for it). It also gave us one of the most underrated announcers ever in Josh Matthews so it wasn’t all to bad. But when the show was on there was plenty of rumbling from people with in the WWF/E that it was “Exposing The Business”. One of the more vocal people complaining back then was none other then Triple H. Of course Vince just brushed those complaints off like he always does when someone questions something of his.
For years Vince has been saying it’s just Entertainment and now we have a show with celebs and suddenly Vince wants to defend the integrity of the business.
The only reason he’s hoping and hollering is because he didn’t think of it first. If he did think of it, he probably passed on it because no A List celeb would be caught dead doing wrestling in this day and age.
Personally I can’t see how anyone can not like CCW. I mean Hulk Hogan just found the next break out star of wrestling and his name is Danny Bonaduce. The guy is a legit loose cannon and if Hogan and Bischoff do decide to start a new company I would hope they sign him to be one of their top guys.
But I find it funny that Vince is saying anyone involved with this show is dead to him. On the plus side maybe the Macho Man just moved up a little bit in the eyes of the WWE if Hulk Hogan is now dead to them.
I think I’m going to finish up because this column has taken way to long to begin with, but before I do here’s some News bits of randomness and interest.
Raven was training for Roller Games recently in Los Angeles, working under Honey Sanchez, a 60’s and 70’s star. No word yet on anything new from that. Raven had been wanting to get into announcing with either MMA or Roller Derby.
Credit to I’m guessing the Wrestling Observer or PW Insider…one of the sheets
Roller Derby needs to come back in a major way. I’m not talking about ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLER JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM but Roller Derby. I wish ESPN Classic would show come of those old shows from the 70’s because that was some of the most vicious stuff I’ve ever seen.
My father’s personal favorite from back then was a guy named Charlie O’ Connel. He said the guy would wear a cast on his arm and just beat the shit out of people with it. I remember watching some of the shows back on ESPN Classic in the mid 90’s and there was this big black guy who had to be about 6’ 8” (with out the skates) and he would drop kick guys right in the face. The women were even more vicious then the men during those games. So if Roller Derby is going to come back I’m all for it and Raven being apart of it would just be all kinds of awesome. Raven commentating in MMA would be fun to, but how many MMA companies can there be? It seems any time someone makes some traction against UFC they end up going belly up and filing for bankruptcy.
WWE has plans for the Divas Champion Michelle McCool to make a full-fledged heel turn.
Well this is a long time coming considering all the reports about how hated McCool is in the women’s locker room on Smackdown. Being the future Mrs. Undertaker has its perks and many feel the only reason she even got the Diva’s title is because of that status. Me I don’t care either way as I wish Victoria would get a run with the Diva’s title, but I’ve never liked the whole “Loving Life” McCool does. Plus her being a submission specialist is pretty damn funny. A lot of people hope Maryse will get a run with the diva’s title as she’s pretty damn good in her role as a hot chick who is a ruthless bitch.
As mentioned above, Gail Kim has resigned with the WWE and I think she’ll probably be on Smackdown. It will be ironic with her going from a Knockout to a Diva, but Gail in the mix with Victoria, Natalya, Maryse, and McCool will be pretty good. To bad Mickie James, Melina, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, and Katie Lea can’t be on Smackdown because that would be a pretty damn awesome women’s division that would give the TNA Knockouts a run for their money.
Well on that note I am done for this week. Like I said this column took way to damn long to finish but I guess considering the current state of wrestling it’s not hard to understand why.
I hope everyone has a good thanksgiving and until next time take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.
You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback in my Live Journal at phantomlord-lop.livejournal.com
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