BY JERRY AND GRANDPA DUDLEY
Last week WEW had their first (at least as long as Grandpa and I can recall) three match show. To make matters even more interesting, one was a match pitting one of WEW’s femmes against a male. OK,
so it was Jaime May, runt of the liter in the May family of In-Breds, but still he was a male … sort of. Who knows what kind of surprises they have in store for us this week? Grandpa is rooting for a return of his favorite candy … girl, Lollipop. If she’s there, poor old Grandma is in for a long night.
The show opened with Alexis Laree saying she wasn’t afraid of her younger sister, even though she was much more experienced.
Valentina Laree arrived followed by another girl. The ‘other’ girl told some fans where they could go.
We went to this weeks wonderful video. If you missed it, you’ll never have a chance to see it, or the group who performed it, ever again. Consider yourself lucky. It was for the Nude Booty Kick PPV.
The first match pitted ‘MTV Star” Amanda Strong v. Candie. If Amanda was a TV Star, it had to be as a witch, haunting other witches … she is 100 miles of bad road. She flipped off the crowd as she circled the ring. Candie is sort of a hottie, and it was announced that she hails from Candieland, USA. Grandpa took an immediate interest in her. The ref was Chief Ref Isis. Before the match started, we went to the usual WEW commercials.
When we returned, Amanda began by throwing Candie to the mat, after a Collar & Elbow Tie Up. She then applied a Top Wrist Lock, which Candie reversed and then applied a Head Lock. Amanda easily broke it and hit Candie with a Clothesline. She picked Candie up by her hair and slammed her to the mat, drapped her over the middle rope and choked her. Isis made her break the choke, so she shoved Candie into a corner and choked her with her boot. The tape cut and we moved ahead in the match. Amanda stomped on Candie’s back and then her head. She picked Candie up by her hair and flung her to the mat, then out to the floor. She went out after Candie, but Candie flipped her over the guard rail and out into the tens and tens of fans (drunks) in attendance. Amanda came back over the rail and Candie hit her with a series of Forearm Smashes. They exchanged punches, then Amanda threw an Acme Steel Chair, product of the Acme Steel Chair and Table Company, Division of The Acme Corp., Grandpa Dudley, CEO and Wile E. Coyote, President, into the ring. Announcer Eric Gargulio and his Masked Partner (actually just his Unknown Friend) talked about this not being a Hardcore Match, so why was Isis allowing the chair to remain in the ring. They bantered inanely back-and-forth the entire program. If there was ever a use for the Mute Button, it was for them. Amanda rolled Candie into the ring and went to the top rope, but Candie nailed her coming off with a Double Axe Handle to the gut. She hit Amanda with three Clotheslines, finally taking her down with the third one. Candie covered her, but no pin. Candie then picked up the chair that Amanda had thown into the ring and crowned her with it twice. Candie covered her, but Isis was distracted by Tara, who got up on the apron. Grandpa really took notice as Tara is really hot. Candie went to get Isis, but Amanda rolled up up with a Schoolgirl, and got the pin and victory.
Eric wet into his usual tirade about the match being stolen. He said ‘Tara and Amanda could be a new Tag Team, Beauty And The Beast,’ adding, ‘When did these two become friends?’ Amanda picked Tara up and carried her back to the dressing room. Eric’s parting comment: ‘It’s like a bride being carried over the threshold.’ With that sage comment, we went to commercial.
When we got back, the ref for the 2nd match came out. It was B.J. (Barbara Jones). She was followed by Valentina Laree, who gave the finger to the crowd, then her older sister, Alexis Laree. Both sisters are keeps. Val grabbed the mic and said, ‘I’m sick and tired of you getting all the cheer; I’m prettier, have a better body and am a better wrestler. and I’m going to prove it.’ She threw the mic down and kicked her sister in the stomach twice. She whipped Alexis into a corner, then grabbed Alexis by her hair and ran at the opposite corner. Alexis put her foot on the top turn buckle to stop Val’s momentum and smashed her face into all three turn buckles twice each. I’m glad she didn’t go for the standard ten smashes, as I doubt many of those in attendance can count that high. Val reversed a whip into the ropes, but Alexis was one step ahead and got her into a Back Slide and failed pinning attempt. A Schoolgirl by Alexis, and a kick out by Val. Alexis kept it going with a Small Package and another try for a pin. Next she tried an Inside Cradle for a pin, but Val escaped again. Val went back on the offensive by shoving Alexis into a corner and pulling a ‘Batista,’ with repeated shoulder blocks. Val followed with two kicks to the stomach and a Roundhouse kick to the head. She nailed Alexis with a DDT, covered her but no pin. She picked Alexis up by the hair and dumped her with a Hair Mare and then kicked her in the back. Two more Hair Mares were followed by a kick to the back. Val then did a nicely executed Neck Breaker over Alexis sitting on the mat. Another cover, another kick out. Val argued with the ref about her count. She got back to business with a Swinging Neck Breaker. Val covered her sister by standing on her with one leg. Alexis just rolled out. Val again argued with the ref. I think we can all see where this is going. Alexis was pissed and threw several right hands at Val. Val tried to run, but Alexis shoved her into the ropes and caught her with a Cross Body Block as she came off. Val went down and as she got up, Alexis nailed her with a Drop Kick. She then changed at Val, who was staggering against the ropes. Val pulled the top rope down and Alexis went over it and to the floor. Alexis got up on the apron and hit Val in the stomach with a Shoulder Block. She came over the top rope trying for a Sunset Flip, but Val held onto the top rope. The ref kicked Val’s hands off and Alexis completed the Flip. Val broke free just before the three count and screamed at the ref about the kick. Eric said it was a well deserved move and that Val was nothing but a spoiled brat. Val then punched her older sister. Alexis responded with a Reverse DDT and again went for the pin and this time she was successful. Alexis rolled out to the floor to catch her breath and accept the cheers from the drunks.
Eric said she would be back later that night in a Three-Way ‘Queen Of The Ring’ Match for the … drum roll … yup, the WEW Heavyweight Championship. Alexis got back into the ring and raised her sisters hand. They hugged each other. Alexis again raised Val’s hand, but Val blasted her with a big Clothesline. She got on top of Alexis and pounded her face into the mat. Eric went bananas. Val grabbed the mic and screamed at her sister, ‘You’re not better than me. You’re not prettier and you certainly don’t have a better body.’ She then kicked Alexis out of the ring. Alexis landed in a pool of beer that a few of them assembled had spilled. I’m surprised they didn’t try to lick it up … or maybe they did!
Grandpa seemed happy with the females he saw. Instead of Lollipop, he saw Candie, Tara, Valentina and Alexis. I guess the four made up for the missing one. He headed towards the steps and I headed towards another sleepless couple of hours.
Until next week …. maybe. If you want me to continue writing about WEW, please let me know.
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