The Rant Of The Week: Entertainamania

Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord and this is my Rant of The Week. Call it being inspired but here I am back on schedule for the first time in ages. I can’t explain how my mind works exactly, but even if the world of wrestling is getting boring odds are I’ll still find something to annoy me and well here I am. But fear not it shouldn’t be that negative this week. For starters I won’t be going to war with Jeff Jarrett for a third straight column. To be honest I just don’t have that in me at the moment so “Fire Jarrett: The Final Battle” much like The Godfather Part III will be a while. But unlike that movie, the final product will match the hype (though I’m probably one of the few who will say Godfather III was damn good with or without Duval).
I’ll have plenty about TNA this week but there is other stuff in wrestling I have been ignoring so I will shift my focus onto it as only I can. TNA has taken up so much of my time and energy in the last few columns because as a fan they really piss me off. Watching TNA sometimes is like watching a car stuck at a train crossing and a train coming at full speed right towards it. There are more analogies I could use but you get the idea about my feelings towards TNA. It’s not like I want to see them fail and fall apart. I just think Jeff Jarrett and his vision of how TNA should be is stupid.
Even though I am taking this very negative tone towards TNA, I am willing to give TNA another chance. I guess it’s because I have nothing better to do or because I do want to see them succeed, so I am willing to give them a chance on this. It’s pretty safe to say Jeff Jarrett will turn heel and join the main event mafia because well it can’t be the main event with out Planet Jarrett. Sooner or later the sympathy angle they are running will start to turn and people will start to boo the hell out of him.
Ok I said I would stop with the TNA stuff and I will for now. I’ll probably throw in a couple of random thoughts before I end the column for this week.
The big story that has my interest is Vince McMahon has made a decree to the WWE and well if you thought hearing the term WWE Universe was annoying, it’s going to get a lot worse.
World Wrestling Entertainment informed all of their announcers this week to refer to their talent as “entertainers” as opposed to wrestlers or even Superstars, effective immediately.
According to numerous sources, the decision is part of a organized plan of attack towards getting WWE as a company re-classified as an entertainment touring event, as posed to a legitimate sporting event.
The internal hope within WWE management is that by doing this, they will take power away from the Athletic Commissions in certain States and keep the company from having to pay taxes on their events.
Obviously, this would also have the company benefit of preventing WWE from being held to the letter of the law in States like Georgia, who’s Athletic Commission is looking at putting stricter restrictions on the professional wrestling industry following the Chris Benoit incident.
We’ll have to see what comes of this and whether the strategy could even work, but that’s why the change was made.
Credit to PW Insider
Excuse me for one moment…

Bravo Vince, Bravo.
Now in the past I’ve said many things about Vince McMahon, but the guy really is a genius. I mean for years he has been looking for a way to finally remove the stigma of the word wrestling from his product and he’s finally stumbled across one. As an added bonus if this works he never has to deal with a pesky state athletic commission again (though I’m sure there are probably some stage actors unions that would love to deal with him).
See one of the draw back to running a wrestling company is you have to be a licensed promoter and have the necessary insurance, paper work, drug tests, and tax filings in order to run a show. Now for a small company it’s nothing to major. Sure it’s a huge bill but nothing compared to what Vince has to pay to every single state he runs a show in. For years the WWE did not run shows in Portland, Oregon because of the Oregon State Athletic Commission. Oregon had some pretty damn stingy rules and Vince’s attitude to them was “Fuck it, if the people want to see us they can drive to Tacoma”. Well I’m sure those weren’t his exact words but you get the idea.
The big problem right now is the Georgia State Commission who is seeking to put stricter restrictions on wrestling as mentioned above. I couldn’t find much (damn google) on what they want to do, but here’s the jist of it.
Among the rules, there are listed that wrestlers cannot blade (cutting oneself for the purpose of drawing blood) , a physician must be present at ringside throughout the show, no one under the age of 18 can be present without a guardian, changes to the card must be announced before the show and fans are entitled to a refund if there are changes, females must wear trunks and tops etc.
The only gripe I have with this as would most wrestling fans would be the lack of blood. Blood is an important part of wrestling. Seeing certain matches with out any blood just takes away from it. I know with the WWE moving their product to TV PG blood has been a rare sight again like it was pretty much from the mid 80’s till the late 90’s, but blood at the right moment really sells the story in the ring. It just annoys me to no end to see a cage match with no blood or someone getting waffled with a chair with no blood. Hell the only complaint I had about the Jericho/HBK ladder match was someone should have got busted open with all those latter shots to the head. But all the rest of those restrictions seem fair enough. I mean aside from certain videos on the net, as anyone ever seen a women’s match where they weren’t wearing trunks and a top?
Having to deal with all that I can see why Vince wants his wrestlers to be called entertainers. I mean to be honest some of these commissions just love having power and do stuff like this to annoy promoters. So if Vince can legally find a way around all this the entire wrestling business should give him a round of applause. Of course I’m a stubborn old school fan so a wrestler will always be a wrestler to me. Perhaps it would be cheaper in the long run maybe to go to Congress and just get them to change the legal definition of what a Wrestler is.
The only thing I see bad with this decree is the WWE will use the word entertainer to death. Much like this WWE Universe term they created, I can see them saying “WWE Entertainer” over and over and over. Personally I wonder how some of the older vets and agents in the company feel about this. Did they ever think the day would come where Vince would actually put his plan to relegate wrestling to a non-term would happen? They’ve been using the term sports entertainment officially for about twenty years give or take, but I can’t see this new term of entertainer sticking. Don’t forget they were going to call all the wrestlers on ECW Rebels and that lasted about a week. If there’s one thing we know about Vince it’s he’ll change his mind just like that. I admire him trying to stick it to the athletic commissions, but much like WWE Universe please think of something less annoying then entertainer.
Uh Oh fire up the Drudge siren. WE GOTS BREAKING NEWS!!!

Ring of Honor Announcement
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Ring of Honor is announcing that Gabe Sapolsky will be leaving the company effective immediately. Everybody at ROH would like to thank him for his contributions and wish him well in all future endeavors.
Going forward Ring of Honor will be focusing on the stories and the talent in the ring. The company will have no further comments on this issue or a replacement for Mr. Sapolsky. We would like to thank all of the fans and media who have supported us over the years and look forward to bringing you more great wrestling excitement in the future.
Credit to ROHWrestling.com
Oh I’m sorry I thought it was something important.
I’m kidding, I’m kidding.
Well I’ll keep this short since the last time I did anything at length on ROH it got zero feedback. I’ve always said I’ve never been into ROH and perhaps there’s a good reason why. Gabe has been widely hailed as the best booker in North America for the last few years. Honestly I’ve never seen what’s so special about his work. I mean anyone can put on a show with great talent and have them go at it. But if you have bland characters and no compelling stories to draw people in what’s the point. That was ROH’s biggest complaint lately. It was to stale and nothing of interest was going on. Well maybe now they will bring someone in to spruce things up and right the sinking ship. ROH is very much a sinking ship at the moment with declining ticket sales, non-existent PPV buys, and the bread and butter of DVD sales disappearing. One possible reason for this situation is ROH is looking for some sort of TV deal and Gabe didn’t want that.
I’m sure there will be more on this situation but it’s not like anyone outside the ROH message board will really care.
Back to the WWE as they had Cyber Sunday tonight and if I had to guess I would imagine this was probably the last Cyber Sunday they will ever do. I have no solid evidence to prove that, but it’s just a feeling. I mean moving away from Internet voting for most of the matches to strictly text voting that you have to pay per vote is not a good sign at least in my view.
I think the WWE is going to start to feel the bad economy that faces us in this country especially with these PPV’s unless they start to make every match on them mean something. Taking a look at the card they presented tonight the show was honestly not worth the money they were charging. If it was say ten years ago and the price was half what it is now then maybe, but for $40 not so much. I mean everything is just thrown together and nothing really seems like it’s worth much attention. To be honest I’ve been finding it harder and harder to sit through RAW or Smackdown lately.
Chris Jericho was carrying RAW on his back as he reinvented himself and finally was given a chance to shine as World Champion. Unfortunately for us on Cyber Sunday Batista won back the World Title and I’m sure they are going to charge forward with Batista vs. Cena II because knowing them they just would.
Batista was world champion is such a horrible choice because right now he is so bland. So bland they should call him BLANDTISTA. At least when he was a heel he was interesting, but as a face he is horrible to watch and I can only hope this isn’t a long term title run because I know I am not the only one who doesn’t want to see Batista make it to Wrestlemania (so they can do the above mentioned Cena match) as champion.
After last night on RAW, Blandtista (I am calling him that from now on) needs a major overhaul. He can’t cut a promo to save his life; his matches are the same formula over and over, and did I mention he’s just bland? I really hope they put the belt back on Jericho next week. Chris Jericho was easily best-booked world champion in a long time. It’s amazing how much things change when it’s not the same Triple H title defense.
Oh yeah I went there. I like Triple H, but man it wouldn’t kill him to win a match with something other then the pedigree once in a while (and I know he won with a roll up at No Mercy but that was the first time I think ever)..
On the plus side, Santino Marella continues to be the best thing on RAW right now. I really hope they let him make it to the 65-week mark just because the celebration he will have for that will be tremendous. While him being booked strictly as comic relief is probably not the best thing they could do with him, there is no denying that Santino has taken the ball and scored a touchdown with it. I just wish they would do a feud with him and Piper and get it over with. Piper still has a great wild brawl left in him and it would put Santino over huge if he could do that with him.
I guess it’s the old school fan in me. Honestly I’d rather see some of the legends get runs then a lot of the new guys out there, but Santino is an exception. If they let him move away from being a comedic heel to being a heel like say Piper was in 85 he would easily be the most hated man in the WWE. People would pay to see him get his ass kicked. I just hope the rumors about certain people in the WWE not wanting to push him are not true. Well they probably are, but as long as Santino continues to do what he’s doing nothing can go wrong.
Speaking of the other half of Glammerella, am I the only one who thought Glammahaas was maybe punishment towards Beth on a small level for almost dropping Johnny Knoxville on his head? Sure it was his fault but it’s easier to blame her. It’s a shame though that Beth Phoenix is almost an after thought in the Women’s division and she’s the champion. I just want to see Beth vs. Mickie or maybe Beth vs. Melina when she gets back. I wouldn’t mind seeing Beth vs. Candice because at least there is a basis for a feud there.
Speaking of Candice, I found this little news bit on her.
Candice Michelle is well aware of her negative Internet critics since her return and has decided to use it as a way to motivate herself into getting better. She was really upset with all the negative criticism online regarding her return and ring performance. She is said to be an extremely hard worker with a great worth ethic.
Credit to the PW Insider
I don’t know about anyone else but I’ve admired Candice since she’s transitioned from bikini chick to actual wres…err entertainer (see Vince I’m trying). She really did become a perfectly acceptable diva. She’s everything the WWE wants in a diva so I don’t see where the criticism comes from. So she makes some mistakes…so what. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s just a matter of how you recover and continue. Candice gets a lot of grief, but like I said I think it’s unfair. I mean if you want to see serious women’s wrestling go watch SHIMMER or maybe Joshi from Japan. So Candice at least from me you don’t have to worry about anything negative.
The more I think about it right now, I can understand why Vince wants to call it entertainment. It really is just entertainment. Maybe a few years ago I might have had a problem with this, but honestly now I don’t. Sure there are some reports Vince wants things to appear more real in the ring, but in the end it’s just entertainment. Wow I’m saying this and my ulcers aren’t flaring up. Again bravo Vince, bravo.
Well before I go I guess I should give a couple of thoughts on THE EARTH SHATTERING ANNOUNCMENT FROM MICK FOLEY THAT WILL CHANGE WRESTLING FOREVER.
Mick announced that essentially he had become an investor in TNA and was the new boss since he was the “executive shareholder”. I’m guessing this means that Mick is supposed to hold a minority stake of stock in TNA. I found it funny how they were making jokes about how cheap Foley is and he supposedly spent his money on TNA. Then again considering the price of most stocks these days he probably got it dirt-cheap anyway.
A lot of people are wondering where will this leave Jim Cornette since he is the authority figure in TNA. Some have mentioned they have a hope he will be removed from his position and to gain revenge on TNA he will join up with the newly formed Main Event Mafia.
For those of you who didn’t see Impact last week The Mafia consists of Kurt Angle, Kevin Nash, King Booooooooooookah, and Sting. You would think Sting would be the main guy in it since he’s the world champion and all, but he’s actually playing forth fiddle to Kurt Angle. It sort of reminds me when he joined The Wolfpac and was just sort of there. The Mafia is pretty much The Millionaires Club from WCW and well that’s all you really need to know about this “Legends vs. New Blood” angle. It should really be the young guys as TNA vs. the Invaders but who am I to doubt Jeff Jarrett’s creative direction. I mean this guy has no problems using his dead wife for sympathy heat.
As for the announcement it was pretty much a let down as most suspected it would be. But as I said before I am willing to see where this does go. Mick Foley will always get the benefit of the doubt from me as he’s one of my all time favorites and as long as we get a match with him vs. Samoa Joe and him vs. Sting at some point then I will be happy.
The Main Event Mafia as long as its numbers don’t swell too much I think is an angle that realistically can go only for the better part of a year. I still believe Jeff Jarrett will turn on TNA at some point and join with the Mafia just because it has to revolve around him. Ultimately that will set up Jarrett vs. Foley and that probably won’t be so bad. I mean of all the things TNA has done, it wouldn’t be the worst match they’ve ever pushed.
Well on that note I am done for this week. I should be back next week unless I slip into a deep depression if God forbid Obama wins.
Don’t forget to check out LethalWrestling.com for Lethal Radio. We took off this week, but Lethal Radio 3 is up for your listening pleasure and it’s honestly the funniest damn 45 minutes you’ll hear on MMA and Pro Wrestling. It should be downloaded and listened to just for the segment on Vladimir Putin: Judo Master.
You can download the show by going to the following link. http://www.lethalwrestling.com/news/fullnews.php?id=73
So until next time take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.
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