TNA Impact Results – 08/28/2008
Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell Of PWTorch.com
The show started with a recap of some stuff that happened with Sting, and now the mystery of the guitar. And Sting explains himself tonight.
Backstage: Steve Borden pulled up backstage and stepped out of his vehicle with bags in hand. Lauren was on the scene to ask him if he finally speaks. Borden said tonight is the night.
1 — AWESOME KONG (w/Raisha Saeed) vs. SOJOURNA BOLT?
Not the Jamaican runner as the opposition, but Bolt went right after Kong with dropkick attempts. Tenay said Bolt showed up the scene looking for the best possible competition. Tenay talked about the Kong vs. Gail Kim street fight last week, and said as a result of Kong’s beating on Gail, TNA and Gail have parted ways. Kong smashed Bolt with a clothesline after giving Bolt some offense, then Kong missed with the spinning back fist. A second spinning back fist didn’t miss, though, and Bolt ate hand. Kong then finished her off with the Awesomebomb for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Kong in 3:00. Fine squash to re-establish Kong’s dominance. (1/2*)
Post-match: Raisha retrieved a steel chair for Kong to inflict more damage on Bolt. Kong set up two chairs, then set up for an Awesomebomb, but ODB interrupted to clear the ring. ODB started brawling with Raisha, then she dumped her to the floor. Kong and ODB met in the middle of the ring and a fight broke out. ODB landed a tornado DDT, then mounted ODB and wailed away with right hand blows. Refs tried to intervene, but ODB threw them away to continue going after Kong. Eventually, security stormed the ring to try their hand at subduing ODB. Kong eventually escaped and regrouped on the floor with Raisha.
Backstage: Borash brought in A.J. Styles to talk about facing Christian Cage next week in a qualifying match for the TNA PPV title match. Styles recapped the feud and friendship and feud and friendship with Christian, then Borash brought up Sting’s name. Styles said he’ll let Sting say his piece, but there’s a receipt coming to him for the attack at the last PPV. Borash asked where Angle’s gold medal is, and Styles said his gold medal is resting in good hands.
[Commercial Break]
Rough Cut: More with Consequences Creed on his journey to TNA. Terry Taylor said Creed’s personality impressed him the most. Styles said he met Creed at NWA Anarchy and he recommended Creed to replace Pacman Jones last year when, as Terry Taylor said, they had a guy who couldn’t wrestle.
2 — X Division champion PETEY WILLIAMS (w/Rhaka Khan) & SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. CONSEQUENCES CREED & JAY LETHAL
Back-story is that Petey wasn’t happy with Sheik for interfering in his match last week against Creed. Meanwhile, Lethal is still in an “ongoing situation” with Sonjay Dutt, which resulted in So Cal Val being knocked out on Karen’s Angle last week. Later tonight, we hear from Val. After some basic tag action, the finish came when Petey and Sheik had another disagreement, leading to Lethal rolling up Petey from behind for the win. Afterward, Petey pointed the finger at Sheik for screwing things up. this led to a shoving match and refs stormed the ring to separate them. So it takes 10 security guards and a bunch of refs to subdue ODB, but only Earl Hebner to subdue Petey?
WINNERS: Lethal & Creed in 4:00. Fine for continuing to build tension between Petey and Sheik, who apparently will be getting an X Division Title shot out of this program. (3/4*)
Backstage: Lauren brought in ODB to talk about Kong. ODB told Kong to bring it hard and rough because that’s how she likes it on Friday nights. ODB said this zoo isn’t big enough for the two of them and the ODB saloon is open for booze, brawling, and boobs. Bang. Yeeesh.
[Commercial Break]
Karen’s Angle: Karen randomly brought in Abyss to discuss some things. First, though, Abyss turned over a table, then sat down on the ground to begin rocking back and forth like Mankind. Abyss said the mental institution was home for him, which is why he continues to wear the jumpsuit. He said they made him realize that Abyss is a destructive force. He placed his hand on Karen’s knee, which freaked her out. She asked where he’s taking things from her. Abyss said he doesn’t know what lies ahead for Abyss or Chris, but Abyss and Chris are one. He challenged anyone to come face him because he’s rehabilitated now. Crazy editing here.
Abyss then hopped up and asked Karen what she’s looking for in a man now that she’s single. Why can’t they have a normal Karen’s Angle segment? Abyss then pulled out a poem. He said Karen’s skin is golden and he can take her with him, but she can’t make a sound. Abyss said his love so deep and he can be Karen’s teddy bear. Abyss or Chris then pulled out his hair and gave some to Karen, who freaked out holding the clump of hair in her hands. Um… this show gets even more disturbing each week.
Backstage: Kip “Billy & Chuck” James was backstage trying to give Lauren a make-over while Angelina and Velvet chatted. Lauren had enough and left, then Velvet cut a promo while Kip adjusted Angelina’s presentation. Velvet with the line about the girls wanting to be then, and the guys wanting to be with them. Angelina laughed and said there are plenty of girls who want to be with them. She said they don’t swing that way, though. Kip then fixed up Velvet while Angelina cut her promo. This was actually quite awesome. Maybe it was the benefit of placement following a no-context, re-hashed Abyss promo.
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Borash brought in Kurt Angle and Frank Trigg to discuss “him” hitting with him a guitar. Angle said he won’t sleep until he gets the gold medal back around his neck. Borash said Styles doesn’t have the medal, which set off Angle. Trigg calmed Angle down and told him to focus on Nash tonight. He said he won’t leave Angle like Tomko did to head over to Japan to become a shoot fighter. Trigg whispered in his ear that Angle’s problems are his problems.
3 — JIMMY RAVE (w/Christy Hemme) vs. CURRY MAN
Tenay and West dorked-out talking about Curry Man’s entrance, then Curry flew over the top rope with a splash onto Rave during his ring entrance to officially start the match. Curry then finished off Rave with the Spice Rack in three minutes for a quick win.
WINNER: Curry Man in 3:00. Not quite sure why this match took place, but Curry gets a necessary win. I guess it’s necessary. That would assume winning a wrestling match on this show with nothing on the line actually means something. (1/2*)
Post-match: Christy distracted Curry, allowing Lance Rock to entire the picture and give him a sit-down Outsider’s Edge. Christy then slapped Curry several times until Super Eric and Shark Boy ran to the ring to make the save. Even Don West couldn’t muster enthusiasm for this. Rave and Rock then bailed from the ring.
Backstage: Lauren brought in Jim Cornette, who appeared out of nowhere on this show. Cornette booked a six-person tag at the PPV based on the post-match. Traci Brooks then stepped into Cornette’s office and Cornette pitched the position of Knockout Law to keep order in the Knockouts locker room. He told her to keep them out of his hair and remember it’s business, not a popularity contest. Cornette said the wrestlers are like products and just need to be kept on the shelf as long as they’re usable before sending them away with best luck in their “future endeavors.” Bitterness behind the writing here. Lauren then asked Traci what Cornette meant by shelf life. Traci smirked and said Lauren might just find out.
[Commercial Break]
Booker T locker room: Borash was with Booker, Sharmell, Brother Ray, and Brother Devon to discuss some things. Booker went full into his African accent while Ray kept trying on Booker’s leopard jackets. Booker said there will be no excuses at No Surrender for the TNA Title match. He suggested a toast to good times and good friends. Ray accidentally spilled some champagne on Sharmell, which set off Booker. And quickly end this segment.
Backstage: After Tenay and West broke down the PPV card ringside, Borash was with Kevin Nash in the interview area. Borash set the stage for Nash’s qualifying match against Angle tonight. Nash said Cornette owes him a title opportunity, so he has the match opportunity. But, the deal is that he doesn’t want to be champion. He wants to watch Joe’s back, but Joe is too busy chasing Sting in the rafters. Nash described this as if Joe is a two-year old chasing a butterfly in the spring meadow. Nash said if Joe doesn’t have his eye on the ball at the PPV, he might just become TNA champion himself.
[Commercial Break]
Impact Zone: Samoa Joe came to ringside to join Tenay and West on commentary for the Angle vs. Nash qualifying match.
4 — KURT ANGLE vs. KEVIN NASH — Qualifying match for TNA Title match at No Surrender
During Angle’s ring entrance, Joe cut one of his come-get-some-I’m-right-here promos that was randomly inserted in the broadcast. Nash then came to the ring just going through the motions to conserve energy. The bell sounded and Angle bailed to the floor to yell at Joe, who slowly stood up to make eye contact. Tenay then brought up Joe’s anger and temper. Joe said people think it’s his Achilles heel, but it helps fuel his success. Back in the ring, Nash nailed a scoop slam, but missed with an elbow drop to set up Angle on the attack. They cut to break with Nash landing a right hand blow.
[Commercial Break]
Back from break, Angle went to work on the surgically-repaired-knees with a figure four leglock. Joe with nice commentary explaining what Nash needed to do to escape the hold, then Nash broke free and nailed a sidewalk slam on Angle. Nash tried to mount his attack on one good knee, then he knocked Angle to the floor. Angle pulled himself up next to the announce table, then Nash slapped Joe to get his attention. Joe lost his temper and jumped up to ringside to stare down Nash, who dropped the straps and went back to work on Angle. Joe then hopped on the apron to inadvertently distract Nash, who took a low blow from behind and the Olympic Slam from Angle. Angle then made the pin and the win.
Afterward, Joe laughed and stepped into the ring with TNA World Title in hand. He screamed at Nash, who backed away while Joe kept screaming at him. Joe told Nash to practice what he preaches, but Nash just left the ring with his head down.
WINNER: Angle in 10:00 to qualify for the TNA Title match. Joe was above-average on commentary after getting a feel for the position with Tenay and West.
[Commercial Break]
Guitar speculation: Tenay and West talked about everyone in the entire world wanting to talk to them about the person behind the guitar. Tenay said the guitar has been synonymous with just one man. Yes, there’s a reason for that. … They cut to a video package on Jeff Jarrett with the text that he has been the heart and soul of TNA since its inception. More of the pat-himself-on-the-back-please-thank-me history lesson from Jarrett. They aired the promo from 2006 when Jarrett walked away to face adversity when he lost his wife. What’s next? They cut to commercial before we could get an answer.
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Lauren sat down with So Cal Val for an interview on how to settle Lethal and Dutt. She said she’ll put the engagement ring on a hook and whoever grabs the ring gets her. Val said she doesn’t know how else to settle it, then she stormed off.
5 — VELVET SKY & ANGELINA LOVE (w/Kip James) vs. TNA Knockouts champion TAYLOR WILDE & ROXX
Everyone’s favorite awkward knockout, Roxxi, shoved Angelina to start things off, which put Angelina back in the corner to regroup with Velvet and Kip. Taylor had control on Velvet, but Kip distracted the ref and Angelina smashed Taylor in the face with the make-up kit. They cut to break with the Beautiful People in control.
[Commercial Break]
Back from break, things predictably broke down into a four-woman brawl. Taylor missed with a moonsault from the top, then the ref became quite concerned with Taylor’s health. Meanwhile, Roxxi took some Febreeze into the face, allowing Angelina to make the cover and the ref spun back around to make the three count.
WINNERS: Angelina & Velvet in 7:00. As expected with the heels cheating to win to take advantage of the referee incompetence standard for TNA broadcasts.
Post-match: Kip put the brown bag over Roxxi’s head to add insult to injury. Taylor tried to defend Roxxi, but the heel divas beat Taylor down while Kip directed traffic. Kip then pulled out the scissors to give Taylor a trim, but Rhino randomly made the save for Taylor. Announcers had no idea why he was there to make the save.
Backstage: They showed Sting walking down the stairs to make his speech.
[Commercial Break]
Impact Zone: Sting came to the ring to finally talk. He started screaming at us, then said he didn’t want to face the question of what would happen if he left this company and the wrestling business to the next generation. He said the young talent would destroy the business and spit in the face of the business. Sting said Samoa Joe could have taken the one, two, three on Booker T at Victory Road, but Joe just wanted to bloody Booker. He said Joe has rejected everything he has tried to tell him. Sting said that when he was Joe’s age, a young Ric Flair took him under his wing to help him like he has tried to do with Joe. He said that without Flair’s generation paving the way for him, he wouldn’t be a wrestler.
Sting then addressed A.J. Styles, who called him Mr. Sting one day and a coward the next day. Sting said he doesn’t owe anything to Styles, but Styles owes him everything after he paved the way for Styles to be a wrestler. Sting seeking personal glory here. He said Styles should be thanking Styles every month when he writes the mortgage check. Sting sarcastically said he forgot that he’s supposed to be bowing down to the young wrestlers and the majority of the young wrestlers in the back are a bunch of spoiled brats. He said if he has to be the bad cop parent and the babysitter in TNA, then he will. Sting told anyone who disagrees to come see him face-to-face.
Styles’s music hit, then Styles came to the ring with mic in hand. Styles was beside himself. He told Sting that he’s wrong; dead wrong. Styles said he looked up to Sting and idolized him, and never ever disrespected him. He reminded Sting of who got this company started in the first place. Sting said he wanted to help Styles, which is why he involved himself at Hard Justice. He said you can’t respect someone and call him a coward in the same breath. Sting said Styles could have just taken the one, two, three on Kurt Angle at the PPV, but he just couldn’t walk away.
Sting said he can see Styles is having a problem with his tone. He told Styles he would give him his baseball bat and let Styles hit him if he wants to. Sting turned his back to give Styles a clean shot, and Styles clutched the bat while Sting yelled at him to hit him. Styles then spun Sting around to clock him in the face, but Sting kicked Styles in the gut and hit the reverse DDT in center ring. Suddenly, Jeff Jarrett’s music hit. Sting smirked at Jarrett playing mind games, then they ended the show.
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