Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord and this is the Rant Of The Week. There must be a lot to talk about because for once this column is actually coming out a week after the last one. Normally I don’t have it in me to do columns back to back like I used to in my glory days, but occasionally something happens and I’m compelled to do a column. Who knows maybe this will be a new trend for me and I’ll actually have them up closer together. Then again I could easily burn out and this could be the last column for a month.
Before I get to all that news and opinion stuff, I have been making progress with Fire Pro Wrestling. I’m having a lot of fun with the Match Maker option where you basically book your own shows with an existing promotion. I’ve been doing shows with the Fire Pro version of Big Japan Pro Wrestling. It’s basically a big death match promotion over there where they just love beating people over the head with light tubes. I’ve taken an approach of booking good solid matches in the opening part of the card and moving it up to the Ultra Violence towards the end. You know booking matches isn’t really that hard. Just as long as you don’t go over your bounds and know your limits the show should be a success. Have a good opening match, lead up to a solid mid card, have a good semi-main event, and then finish off with one of your big stars vs. another big star.
I booked a rather amusing and surprisingly good Abdullah Kobayashi vs. The Great Khali match that saw a ton of near falls and great excitement. Of course you know it’s only a video game because the real Khali could never ever have a good match of any kind.
Though I hear for the video the WWE sends to India, they edit it in a way to make Khali look like an unstoppable monster because apparently over there Khali is like a living God to the locals. I find it hard to believe in a country that has almost a Billion and a half people The Great Khali is the best they can produce. Well there is always Sonjay Dutt, but I’m pretty sure in India he looks as foolish on TNA broadcasts as he does over here.
No disrespect to Sonjay. I’ve been a fan of his for a while in TNA, but you know it’s true when I say TNA makes him look foolish. I mean who ever came up with the Jay/Val/Sonjay love saga should be fired and never allowed to do anything with wrestling ever again. I mean let’s rehash the Macho Man/Miss Elizabeth wedding only lets not have them get together and we’ll probably have Val end up turning on Jay at the end anyway.
I mean I could have booked a good blood feud out of that whole mess, but in TNA why would they want anything compelling from those X Division guys. All they keep them around for is high spots for video clips anyway.
Wow I got off on a tangent there. Sorry about that, but then again my best work does come when I’m just going off on something.
Moving along last week in my column I pointed out how it was clear the WWE put little to no thought into the draft (any one who works for the WWE feel free to e-mail me and prove me wrong). They took the WWE title off RAW and when logic would dictate that Cena would probably win the title to take it back…well he didn’t and RAW was left with out a champion. But this past Monday on RAW after Jim Ross came out to greet the Oklahoma City crowd (and give more then a few of us the impression he might Bud Dwyer himself on television), Edge and The Edgeheads came out to run down Jim Ross (it wouldn’t be a show in Oklahoma if they couldn’t do that). After Edge shot on Jim Ross for being a whiney blogger he had Ryder and Hawkins escort him from the building. Edge then proceeded to gloat that no one on RAW would ever be able to take the title from him and as he was leaving, Batista came out and proceeded to beat him from pillar to post.
All during this while I was watching the show with Phantom Classic it was obvious CM Punk was going to come out and cash in. I mean why else would Edge be on RAW if he had no reason to be. As Batista continued to beat on Edge like he owed him money, we just kept waiting and waiting for Punk’s music to hit and finally when Batista was leaving it did and I must say I marked out for the first time in ages.
But it makes me laugh how the WWE is probably going to just revert into the same rut they were in just because there are plenty of people inside the WWE who do not like CM Punk. Granted, Punk can be a prick at times. But I think right now is not the time to revert back to what they think is safe. The WWE right now is taking a huge risk with having the titles all on young guys and last week it paid off.
This week not so much as RAW was back to really sucking. I don’t know why the WWE does that, but they always have a habit of taking ten steps back after an amazing show.
Last week the ratings actually shot up during the show after CM Punk won the title. The highest rated segment of the whole show was Punk’s defense against JBL. So instead of building on all that what does the WWE do? They have SNITSKY challenge CM Punk.
Yes Snitsky.
Boy that will sure put butts in the seats.
Truth be told I missed like the first half hour of RAW because I was kinda asleep, but thanks to the glorious internet I was able to see the opening segment and you know I didn’t miss much while I was out cold. I’m convinced with the way they always trot out Vickie, there is someone in the WWE or several people who enjoy seeing her get the hell booed out of her every night. Granted when the heat is nuclear you are doing your job, but still it pains me to see people boo her like that.
What I saw of it, Punk did hold his own with Vickie, Cena, JBL, Batista, and Kane. The only problem is with all of them he is vastly over shadowed. He’s the world champion…he should be calling the shots. It’s clear that for the WWE he’s just a mid carder who got thrown into the main event.
Punk can do so much more. Personally I would love to see him turn full blown heel and do his “I’m better then you” act. But it’s pretty much a given that Batista will be turning heel at some point because they want Batista vs. Cena at Wrestlemania 25. Apparently the WWE believes this is the only major money match they have left. Wrestlemania 25 is a long time away so a lot can change between now and then.
As I mentioned above they had Punk in a throw away match with Snitsky while the main event was a four way to determine who would face Punk at the Great American Bash. Why the hell is Snitsky still even in the WWE? I mean at least when he was the accidental abortionist he was some what interesting, but now he’s just a really bland big white guy with shit stained teeth. Punk at least looked good in it and he was able to hit the GTS on Snitsky (apparently breaking his nose in the process). I guess it was to show he could take out the big monsters with the move. Personally I’d like to see Punk break out the Anaconda Vice once in a while for matches like this where he has to take on a guy much larger then him.
Batista ended up winning the 4 way match against Kane (who I’ll get to in a minute), JBL, and John Cena. It seemed kinda weird for Batista to win because he’s had so many world title matches this year. As I said the big plan is to build for Cena and Batista at Wrestlemania 25, but honestly I don’t know what the hell they are thinking anymore.
The anarchy aspect to RAW has been fun as The McMahon’s want everyone to pull together for the sake of Vince and in turn everyone is doing the exact opposite.
But perhaps I am wrong (yes I have been known occasionally to be wrong) about the WWE and how they have been planning things out. There is a commercial showing CM Punk with the title and there is a scene where he holds up the belt and it clearly has The Undertaker’s name plate on it. This would mean the plans for Punk to win go back at last a month so it might not have been so spur as the moment as I first said it was.
But all that other stuff with them drafting the champion to Smackdown, leaving RAW with out one and all the other draft headaches, I’m still convinced were spur of the moment/booking on the fly type deals. I know I wasn’t the only one hoping Punk would go through with his threat of cashing in the MITB during the wedding of Edge and Vickie on Smackdown. But what’s done is done and I hope they keep the belt on Punk. Ratings are holding steady since last week so that at least means people are interested.
Keeping with the whole you don’t know what the hell they are thinking aspect, RAW ended last week with Kane going apeshit crazy and going on and on about wanting to know if someone was alive or
It was funny because of a few of us have thought maybe they’re finally getting around to what happened to Paul Barer. Of course Percy Pringle is delighted with all the attention he is receiving and had the following on his website.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
ALIVE OR DEAD?
Mercy…
PP.com has had over 20,000 visitors since WWE RAW went off the air last night, and my mailbox has been bombarded with emails. The question of the day seems to be…
“Was Kane’s rampage last night about his cemented Father Paul Bearer?”
Sorry, but I can’t answer that one. Interesting storyline, isn’t it?
Be Blessed.
~Percy
Credit to PercyPringle.com
I wouldn’t look too much into Paul Barer coming back. But then again he had EVERYONE fooled back in 2003 when he abruptly shut down his message board and six months later he had the grand entrance with The Undertaker at Wrestlemania 20.
I remember I posted something I read about back in the old day’s wrestlers tenderizing their foreheads with forks so they could tap a gusher with ease and he said and I quote “I find your information to be absolutely ludicrous”.
Considering the respect I have for him, it was one of the best complements I’ve ever gotten from someone in “da business”.
So I doubt he’ll be coming back for this. Odds are it’s just the start of another Kane goes back to being a homicidal maniac angles. Personally I liked the one he had with Shane McMahon which involved him tombstoning Linda and setting Jim Ross on fire. People complain that Kane had to bump for Shane but you know what who cares. They had some fun matches and fights. Plus Shane is a lunatic so you know he’ll go above and beyond the call of duty for a match.
Maybe losing the title to Mark Henry made him go crazy. I mean if that’s the case you certainly can’t blame him if he’s lost touch with reality again.
I hope at least Kane gets a good run in all of this. He deserves a nice run considering all that he has done in the WWE over the last 10 years. I mean something more then the ECW “thanks for sticking with us for so long so here’s a world title for you” championship.
Over on Smackdown things are very hit or miss. The stuff with Edge and Vickie is fun in its TV Novella ways but the rest of the show is really struggling. For me personally the only thing I seem to be interested in is Vladimir Kozlov.
He harkens back to the era when the big bad Russian was the most feared and hated on the card. This week the decided to give him a titan tron and some music and a lot of people have been split on it. Some love it while others think they should have stuck with the silence of no music at all. Me personally I don’t mind the music as I think it’s a nice touch in establishing him as a menacing presence.
Over on the greatest live journal community of them all, The Kirt Angle Fans Brigade according to seblab the song which is in Russian says the following in its lyrics.
“I brought you some pain, I know you want it!” in Russian. Later in the song it says: “I brought you some Russian JUSTICE!!!”
I think there is HUGE potential for Kozlov. And if you are paying attention to the news then you know right now Russia (thanks to Vladimir Putin) is practically back to their old cold war footing. Russian bombers are flying combat missions, Russian subs are patrolling the waters, and oh yes there is a good chance of military action if we are stupid enough to put those Missile defenders in Eastern Europe (its 2008, the missile shield will be this generations Star Wars Defense Platform).
So with all that into account, Kozlov could be a huge heel and if they continue to have him run rampant over people we could easily be looking at the new Russian Nightmare. I like the current nickname of The Moscow Mauler, but Russian Nightmare has a ring to it. The only thing I think he needs is a mouth piece. If they can bring back Tony Atlas than why not another old timer? I say bring Ivan Koloff back…if not him then get Nikolai Volkoff. I would say get Nikita Koloff but who knows if he would do it since he’s a born again Christian and who knows if he would want to work for McMahon.
But as always I fear “creative” will get bored with him and the next thing you’ll know he’ll be wished well in future endeavors.
Speaking of being wished well in future endeavors, one of my favorites Trevor Murdoch got released this past week and most people with in the WWE are scratching their heads as to why.
The Wrestling Observer had this bit on the release.
Regarding his release, it came as a surprise to a lot of people since he was booked on some house shows with MVP. Also, SmackDown head writer Michael Hayes specifically requested him before the draft. Johnny Ace called Murdoch to inform him about his release from the company, although Vince McMahon must approve of all terminations. Ace essentially told Murdoch, “Your character is going nowhere and creative has nothing for you.” The “creative doesn’t have anything for you” line, which Johnny Ace often uses, and Jim Ross did before him, is used to let people down easy because in many cases being fired from WWE is the end of their childhood dream. It sounds better than saying “we don’t need you anymore” or “you’re not very good.” People close to Murdoch are saying he’s taking the release surprisingly well.
Murdoch is all ready taking Indy bookings where he apparently will be working under the name of Trevor Murdock (see it’s Murdoch but with a K). He’s all ready got a match set up in WWC in Puerto Rico where he will be taking on Eddie Colon (Carlito’s brother).
It sucks that they canned Murdoch because the guy is very talented but as we know the WWE’s loss is someone else’s gain. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him in TNA at some point by the end of the year because unlike others he’s a former WWE guy who deserves a chance to shine. Plus odds are he will get a shot in Japan and I would imagine a guy like Murdoch would be a huge catch for All Japan or maybe Pro Wrestling NOAH.
Personally I would hope if he did go to TNA they could team him up with Dustin Rhodes and they could be the new Texas Outlaws. The original Outlaws or Dusty and Dick Murdoch were one of the most feared tag teams in the 70’s. I remember reading a long time ago about how they would just beat the shit out of people and in a match Rhodes actually broke a guys back for real. You take Dustin and Trevor and have them feud with LAX and you got a license to print money. It would be heat filled and blood soaked…the way tag team wrestling should be.
Of course this is TNA so odds are they would just screw things up with them anyway.
Speaking of TNA, They had their Victory Road PPV (if you were watching Impact you wouldn’t know it for the most part aside from some commercials) and some reviews I’ve read have it as “absolutely great wrestling up till the last ten minutes).
It was odd with the Samoa Joe/Booker T match. Booker was clearly the face since it was his home town. By the end of the match they did a double turn where Joe turned heel by beating the holy hell out of Booker T. It all started when he was really pounding on Booker and after a ref bump they went to the floor and Joe nailed him with the Ole kick. Sharmell was in the front row and she pleaded with Joe to stop and she ended up slapping him. Joe in turn punched out a bunch of Booker’s students and then proceeded to beat on Booker like he owed him money.
It got so bad that security and refs came out to stop Joe but he just ran through them all. Finally in a scene straight from an episode of WCW Thunder, Sting came out to stop Joe and it seemed for a minute that he did but Joe decided to back and continue the assault. Sting went back to the ring and Joe flipped him off and promptly got a bat to the stomach and back for his troubles. Then in typical TNA fashion, Sharmell counted a three count as Booker covered Joe and they walked off with the belt while Mike Tenay and Don West were puzzled as to if Booker was now the TNA World Champion.
I take Nexium to control acid and stuff that with my ulcers, but if I were in the room with Jarrett, Mantell, and Russo when they came up with that one I don’t think there is enough Nexium in the world to try and even prevent the ulcer flair up that would cause. I truly feel sorry for Jim Cornette because he must go through a bottle a week from all the stuff they make him do because you know on Impact this week he will tease whether he will let Booker T be the champion only to decide “the title is vacant till the next PPV” and it will be gimmicks galore.
Samoa Joe truly is getting screwed over in TNA. I mean they refused to put the belt on him for so long and when they finally do they do everything to make him look weak and inept as a champion.
Of course things could be worse. Jarrett could have decided to come back by now and put the title on himself. I’m still waiting for that one to happen and you know it will.
I think I better wrap this up for this week because I am on my seventh page right now.
Mickie Knuckles aka Moose broke her leg in a horrific manner last week at an IWA MS show in Illinois. There has been much controversy about this because a lot of people wondered (including me) why Mickie would take such a risk when she was in the mist of a push in TNA. Over on DOI, Sean The Mic had a great column about TNA and why they should pull all their talent off Indy shows so something like this doesn’t happen again.
While I think to an extent that could work, I don’t think it would be right to deny all the men and women in TNA the extra money they are making on the Indies by being billed as TNA Wrestlers. But I do believe if you are on national television you should have the common sense not to do something stupid like do a dive off a balcony and land on one leg because you’re selling the other. Don’t get me wrong, I hope she recovers and comes back better then ever. But after the Mike Levy mauling where Ian Rotten went apeshit because Mickie got stiffed and she had to go wrestling in TNA with a huge knot on her forehead, it’s a bit laughable that he’ll freak out about that but have no problem with her doing a huge dive that will now keep her off tv for six months.
Another humorous aspect to all of this is now because of the guy who posted the clip of the leg break on youtube all digital cameras are now banned from IWA MS shows. I’m sure the usual 25-40 people who go to those shows are shook that they can’t get a shot of someone breaking a light tube over someone’s head.
But at least TNA is being nice and they are saying Mickie’s spot will be waiting for her when she’s healed up. I would hope when she does come back they get rid of the name Moose.
Funny thing is last week in my column I forgot to put in the old Brian Regan joke MOOOOOOOSEN. I wanted anyone who reads this column if they happen to go to Impact tapings to bring MOOOOOOOOOOSEN signs.
Well I guess you could do that when she gets back or maybe at any of the IWA MS Mickie Knuckles charity shows you just know they will run. Though there are rumors they might be doing an angle based on all the attention they got with the Mike Levy incident. I would imagine the eventual rematch between her and “The White Lion” Mike Levy could probably sell out the parking lot at the Piggly Wiggly.
On that note I am done for this week. I’m sure I’m gonna get some hate for that one, but everything can’t be serious all the time. So until next time remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.
You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback in my Live Journal at phantomlord-lop.livejournal.com
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