Heading into Monday night I was nothing but amped about RAW, as their previous two shows were nothing but a delight to watch. The draft, which aired two weeks ago, lived up to its hype because all the right wrestlers were moved to the right places (for the most part), and created some potential mouth-watering rivalries . Last week’s episode, unexpectedly, was even better than the draft, as CM Punk relieved Edge of his title in Edge-esque fashion by cashing in his MITB briefcase when the rated R superstar was down. So after bearing witness to two classic episodes back-to-back, why shouldn’t I have expected another excellent episode; one where we saw those exciting new rivalries unfold?
Because, apparently, nobody told me that WWE creative returned from their two-week vacation just in time to muck things up (I would’ve liked to use another word there beside “muck”, but since I’m writing this from the office, I found the closest possible word).
You see, all joking aside, the last two weeks weren’t a sign of things to come, as I proclaimed in my previous column where I said the WWE “was back”… sighhhh, how naive I can sometimes be. Those two weeks were just two weeks where creative overachieved… something they tend to do a couple times each year. Now, after two of the best shows we’d seen in all of ’08, creative returned to their normal selves followed up with this for the most recent episode:
- CM Punk vs. Snitsky…,…,… bwah?
- A segment where John Cena spraypaints “JBL is Poopy” on JBL’s limo… ugh
- Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas… CHARLIE HAAS?!?
First off, CM Punk vs. Snitsky came out of nowhere. They have had nothing to do with each other, and it should have stayed that way. Other viable opponents for Punk could’ve been Paul Burchill, Chuck Palumbo, Cody Rhodes, or even Ted DiBiase Jr… you know, somebody who has at least been in the ring these last couple of weeks. The Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas match was also confusing, out of the blue, and absolutely made no sense. But the segment of Cena spraypainting “JBL is Poopy” on JBL’s limo really took the shitty shitty carrot-cake. Bravo WWE creative, bravo; that was some of your finer work.
The only highlights of the night were the solid promo between Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels, Kane turning heel, and the pretty decent fatal 4-way main event that had JBL, Batista, John Cena, and Kane battle it out for the #1 contender spot (Speaking of which, the match was fun to watch, and I was glad to see Batista take the match home, as a Batista-CM Punk rivalry is something I’ve been hoping for since I saw them both get drafted to RAW) .
So there you have it-another night filled with WTF‘s and ???’s. Expect the trend, for the most part, to continue. Expect the WWE to have Cena continue to make himself likable to children so that the WWE can keep churning out merchandise sales, but also expect Cena to ostracize himself from everybody else above the age of 10 aka the WWE’s TARGET FREAKING MARKET.
Expect Kofi Kingston to be placed in random, out-of-nowhere matches, and for the IC title’s once-prestigious reputation to continue to lose its luster.
Expect the WWE to rip CM Punk, the most likable, heavyweight championship-worthy wrestler to come along to RAW in a long time, away from the WWE Heavyweight Championship.
Basically, just expect nothing. That way, once WWE creative goes on another two-week vacation, we’ll be that much happier when something relevant, something fun, something that makes sense, happens. I know it’s a glass-half-empty view, but I’d be damned if it wasn’t the right one.
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They’re trying to make Cena look like a thug now that he’s running with Cryme Time. What’s better than a thug that makes poop jokes?
I’m waiting for the next level from him– ‘yo momma’ jokes!