Source: 411Mania.com
-We get a video package, highlighting the TLC match from One Night Stand.
~EDGE’S CHAMPIONSHIP CELEBRATION~
Vickie, Chavo, Bam, Ryder and Hawkins are all in the ring with classes on champagne for their celebration. Vickie, fighting through the crowd’s hate, announces our new World Champion, and the man responsible for banishing the Undertaker from the WWE…EDGE! Edge offers up hugs to the family and a big old smooch for Vickie-kins. Edge says this is for the entire family, Chavo, Bam, Zach, and Curt; especially in a place like LA, they are the real deal and he couldn’t ask for a better group of friends. And to his special lady, YOU COMPLETE ME! Speaking of himself, he has to congratulate himself. Sunday he did something that no one else could do, end the career of the Undertaker. Not only that, but he became the NEW World Champion. But don’t feel bad for Taker, because Edge did him a favor. Because if Taker had won, Edge would have beaten him so badly that he would have left a shell of himself. Instead he lost a TLC match to the master of the TLC match, he lost to the greatest superstar in the history of the WWE. Taker should thank him. They toast Taker, may he rest in peace.
LIGHTS OUT…HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA he got us! Edge said he had to do it, and life works in mysterious ways. As something dies, something else blossoms. Vickie then says in FIVE WEEKS, on July 11th, Edge and her will pledge their love as they get married on Smackdown. They all pour champagne on Edge and then…
Batista makes his way out, because…BIG DAVE DOES NOT APPROVE! Vickie is upset, but Batista asks why he wasn’t invited. He likes to party. He wants to wish them the best, they deserve each other and from the bottom of his heart, he hopes they live happily ever after. JUST KIDDING! They make him sick and he hopes they have fat and ugly kids and make each other miserable. Last week he said he would challenge the champion, and that is what he is doing right now. Vickie came prepared, and says if he wants a World Title match, he won’t get one. She gives the orders, not take them. If he wants a match he has to earn it. Tonight it will be Edge, Chavo, Ryder and Hawkins vs. Batista and three partners of HER choosing. Edge then says if he loses, he will never get a title match against Edge ever again!
Belfast Brawl: Chuck Palumbo vs. Finlay
Palumbo is sporting a SLASH style hat. Hornswoggle tries to take a ride on the bike, Palumbo goes after him and Finlay attacks. They battle on the floor, and Palumbo slams Finlay to the steel steps. Palumbo lays the boots to Finlay, gets a trashcan and Finlay baseball slides it right into his face. Palumbo fights back, rights to Finlay and back in the ring goes Finlay. Palumbo gets the can, tosses it in and then Finlay gets a drop toehold on Palumbo, who eats the can. Finlay now looks for some toys, and then just uses the can to hit Palumbo. He tosses Palumbo to the floor, Palumbo battles back and slams Finlay to the barrier. Overhead toss by Palumbo and he has control. Back in the ring and Palumbo covers for 2. Palumbo undoes a turnbuckle pad, Finlay has the SHACKALACKI but Palumbo kicks him in the face. He gets a chain from his bike, wraps it around his fist but Hornswoggle is in and LOW BLOWS Palumbo! Palumbo tosses him down, chases him away, chain shot by Finlay and that is all.
Winner: Finlay @ 5:10 via pin
-MVP chills in a luxury skybox.
~THE BIG SHOW SPEAKS~
Show makes his way to the ring, and his eye is f*ckED up. Man, he does resemble Sloth from the Goonies. He says he won’t be going for a shot on America’s Next Top Model. But he is the #1 contender for the ECW Title. We get video footage. He says the match was a challenge, but he is on to a bigger challenge in Kane.
As he tries to discuss Kane, Mark Henry reminds us he has a job with WWE and comes out onto the ramp. Henry says Show has the audacity to talk about Henry. Henry says Show won a match involving sticks in order to earn a title match. But he really got battered and beat down, just to look like that. Henry runs a video of the injury Show suffered. We see photos of Show’s injury, and Henry says that isn’t championship material. Show says even with a bad eye he can see that Henry is full of it. There is nothing between them but air and opportunity. Show is ready to fight, and Henry starts to come to the ring, teases getting in and backs off.
-We see Sal and Piper getting ready for the match with Santino.
-Michael Cole discusses WWE receiving the Corporate Patriot Award. We get a video package on it. Ric Flair accepted the award on behalf of the WWE.
Deuce and Domino vs. The Great Khali
Deuce to begin, big claw by Khali who then slams down Deuce. Domino tags in, shots to the back of Khali but he eats a boot and is down. Khali slams him to the corner, Deuce in now as well and they try to double team Khali. KHALI CHOP! TREE SLAM on Domino. One for Deuce! Khali covers Domino for the win.
Winner: The Great Khali @ 1:50 via pin
DEUCE AND DOMINO HAVE BEEN SQUASHED~!
-The ladies are with Vickie backstage. She says it is a great night and since she is a woman with power, much like Moolah had power when she was alive. She is disappointed because Smackdown doesn’t have a women’s title, but they will crown a new diva champion. Dreams come true in LA, so tonight they will have a chance. They will have a golden dreams match. The winner will be one of the competitors to crown a diva champion.
-We get a video package for Sal vs. Santino.
Cousin Sal w/RODNEY THE PIPER and JIMMENEY KIMMEL vs. Santino Marella
Sal wore a kilt to the ring and is wearing a Kimmel Show Amateur Singlet. Sal maybe paler than Bryan Danielson. Santino wants to shake, but pulls it back. Santino slams Sal, he celebrates as Sal goes for some advice from Rodney. They do what I would guess is some mat work and Sal escapes. Santino tells Sal to slap him, but he gets a headlock and holds on while Santino attempts to escape. To the ropes, they break and forearms by Sal. Airplane spin by Sal and both guys are down. Suplex by Sal, cover for 2. Rights by Santino, a slam and a slap and then he talks shit to Piper. Kimmel trips Santino, distracts him and Sal rolls him up for the win.
Winner: Cousin Sal @ 3:30 via pin
-Santino attacks Sal after the match, goes after Kimmel but Piper is in to save the day, leveling Santino.
-MVP chills in the skybox.
-We get clips of Sal defeating Santino.
-Sal gets interviewed backstage, but Jimmy says Sal feels great. Jimmy keeps answering for Sal and says he has another opponent, and brings in the Big Show. Sal attacks Jimmy and Show pulls him off of him. Jimmy says they will make a lot of money.
-The Miz and Morrison tease Hornswoggle by stealing his hat, and Finlay is there. They say they were just playing and Hornswoggle attacks them with a super soaker.
-Edge gives the Family a pep talk, and then Edge and Chavo have some private time. Edge says he will be Chavo’s uncle soon, and asks him if he would be his best man for the wedding. Chavo accepts, and Edge says they want to have kids and make a new wrestling dynasty. They will be Chavo’s cousins. Edge hugs Chavo, but Chavo looks freaked.
Golden Dreams Match: Natalya vs. Cherry vs. Maryse vs. Victoria vs. Michelle McCool vs. Layla vs. Kelly Kelly
THIS IS A STAR ON A POLE MATCH! They all go for the star, cluster, and then they brawl. Cherry goes for the star, but Victoria tosses her to the floor. Kelly goes for it, Victoria over, but Kelly gets a RANA on her. McCool tosses Layla around, Kelly tossed to the floor. McCool and Natalya are in, McCool goes for the star, but Maryse is back in and climbs. McCool kicks her off, she climbs but Layla in, Victoria levels her and then she attacks McCool. Victoria up top with McCool, Natalya over and they do the tower of doom spot. Natalya climbs, and she gets the star and wins.
Winner: Natalya @ 2:20
-Natalya goes on to Night of Champions to crown the first ever WWE Diva’s Champion.
-We get clips of the Press Conference, regarding McMahon’s Millions.
Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy Wang Yang
Yang tries some kicks and a single leg, but the SAMBO master stops that and clubs him down. Kozlov avoids the sweep and kills Yang with a big boot. Single leg crab by Kozlov now, Yang fights and gets the ropes. Kozlov slams the knee into the mat, misses an elbow drop and Yang gets a kick to the head. Yang up top, MISSES a moonsault, lands on the bad knee, head butt by Kozlov from behind and then a belly to belly by Kozlov gets the pin. Damn, Kozlov didn’t use the “?’????????? ????????” to win the match.
Winner: Vladimir Kozlov @ 2:15 via pin
-Eve interviews Batista. He knows what he is getting into tonight, and Edge better beware.
-Foley on the Million Dollar Giveaway: “Vince hasn’t thrown away this much money since he signed Goldberg.” That was good, the SAMBO jokes tank each week, but that was good.
-MVP still chills from the skybox.
-It’s nice to see Nunzio still has a job.
-It’s nice to see Funaki still has a job.
Edge, Chavo Guerrero, Zach Ryder and Kurt Hawkins w/Bam Neeley vs. Batista, Nunzio, Funaki and Colin Delaney
Batista and Ryder to begin. Batista in control, snap mare and a running boot. Off the ropes, back elbow and Ryder tags in Chavo. Lock up, to he corner and they break. Rights by Batista now, to the corner and then a slam by Batista. A leg drop and a cover for 2. To a corner, Batista chokes out Chavo, works the arm now and takes Chavo down with a hammerlock. Batista with a suplex, stalling suplex for 2. Batista actually tags in Colin, rocket launcher to Chavo and a cover for 2. We’ll head to a commercial @ 2:40.
Back from commercial @ 6:00 as Hawkins and Ryder beat down Colin. Bam helped out during the commercial. Hawkins gets a cover for 2 on Colin. Tag to Chavo, belly to back suplex and then a tag to Edge. Edge lays the boots to Colin, gets an Irish whip and Colin falls to the mat. More rights by Edge, kicks to the gut and then a side headlock, and Edge knocks Batista off of the apron and makes Colin tag Funaki. Edge kicks his ass, tags in Chavo and Funaki takes his beating in the enemy corner. Funaki starts to fight back on Chavo, but he’ll eat a dropkick. Hawkins in now, snap mare, kicks and then the Hennig neck snap. Ryder tags in, neck crank applied to Funaki. Funaki tries to fight but Hawkins tags in and gets a chinlock. Funaki tries to fire up, fights back but Hawkins slams him down. To the corner, Edge is in and an Irish whip, boots by Funaki and a tornado DDT try is stopped as Edge tosses him across the ring. Hawkins tags in and covers Funaki for 2. He goes for a spear, misses and eats the corner. TAG to Batista and IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME! He runs wild on Hawkins, knocks Chavo and Edge to the floor. Spinebuster to Ryder. Edge in, Edge-A-Cution on Batista. Nunzio, Funaki and Colin get beat down, SPEARS by Batista! Kills Ryder with the Batista bomb and that is all.
Winners: Batista, Nunzio, Funaki and Colin Delaney @ 13:55 via pin
-The story isn’t that Batista gets a title shot, but that Nunzio, Funaki and Colin Delaney won a main event match.
-Big Dave celebrates while Edge and company are sad pandas.
-End Scene…
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