(Credit: PWTorch.com)
They opened with Joey Styles and Tazz plugging the ECW debut of the Cutting Edge. The interview set was already in the ring, then Tony Chimel announced Edge. He came out without Vickie for the segment. Edge took his sweet time arriving in the ring, then his music stopped and boos greeted him. Edge welcomed everyone to the segment before talking about his World Hvt. title defense against Rey Mysterio at the Rumble. He said the match won’t be competitive, though. This led to a six-one-nahn chant. Cue footage of Rey vs. Chavo on Smackdown last week where Edge and his boys attacked Rey after his match victory.
Back in the ring, Edge had a good laugh and he held up his title belt. Edge then brought out ECW champion C.M. Punk for a little chat. Edge said Punk reminds him of a punk version of himself. He sarcastically talked up Punk before saying that Punk hasn’t even beaten anyone. Edge said he beat Chavo twice by count-out and DQ, so it’s no biggie. Punk said that he respects his opponents unlike Edge, so he would take on Chavo anytime, anyplace with no questions. Edge said that’s a bold statement. Punk said, no, here’s a bold statement: “I could beat you too.” That got a good pop, then Edge let it sink in before having a good laugh. Edge said he’ll let that one slide. Punk said he didn’t say that to get a laugh because it’s his show and he can beat anyone, including Edge. Suddenly, Chavo’s music hit before Edge could offer a response. Saved by the theme music. Chavo slowly strolled out in street clothes while Punk checked Edge for what was going on.
Chavo eventually entered the ring and addressed Punk first. He reminded him that if he beats him tonight, he gets an ECW Title shot. Chavo asked Punk if the offer is still on the table. Punk, irritated, said they’re having the same conversation again. He said he has a feeling they’re going to be having the same conversation again next week same Punk time, same Punk channel. Suddenly, Chavo pie faced Punk into Edge, who jumped Punk from behind. Edge and Chavo then beat down Punk before Chavo chucked Punk shoulder-first into the ringpost to injure him for their match tonight.
[Commercial Break]
[Q2]
They came back and recapped the opening segment. They cut backstage where Edge was walking backstage. He eventually left the building out a side exit door.
John Morrison came out for a tag match. Styles and Tazz forced some banter about Styles walking around the airport doing Morrison’s slow-mo entrance. Miz came out next as his partner. The Highlanders came out next to some new, slightly more annoying theme music.
1 — ECW tag team champions JOHN MORRISON & THE MIZ vs. THE HIGHLANDERS (RORY & ROBBIE) — non-title match
The bell sounded and Tazz called Morrison and Miz metrosexual types. Tazz seemed surprised that he just said that. The tag champs started on the offensive with some double team attempts. Robbie came back with a powerslam for a nearfall at 2:00. the action then broke down with Miz casually flinging Robbie into the corner turnbuckle. He landed a knee lift into neckbreaker for the win.
WINNERS: Miz & Morrison in 3:00. Pointless match. It wasn’t clear if the Highlanders have relocated to ECW or simply wandered over from Raw because they’re looking for something to do. (1/2*)
They showed a video package on Kofi Kingston. A compilation of the various villains kicking sand around on the beach before Kofi smashed them into the sand. He debuts next week.
[Commercial Break. I’m already annoyed by these Strange Wilderness commercials and we have three more weeks of this to endure before it opens in theaters.]
Kelly Kelly came out to the ring in a robe. She took a mic then said the divas are going to look great in HD next week. Kelly then took off her robe to reveal a bikini. So, next week in HD, it’s a best body contest between Kelly, Leyla, and the new diva Lena. Well, that was short.
[Q3]
Suddenly, Tazz was in the ring with the great Colin Delaney. His arms were taped to go along with his ribs now. Tazz then successfully rolled footage of Colin’s recent beatings. Tazz asked Colin how he’s doing. Colin blew his cheeks out big, then said he’s here…barely. Tazz said he admires Colin’s commitment, then asked how his career is going to turn out. Colin said he doesn’t know, but he’s here to fight another week. Tazz said he has a match lined up for him this week with a former WWE champion. Kane’s music hit and Colin’s jaw dropped to the floor before he turned to find help from Tazz.
2 — KANE vs. COLIN DELANEY
The bell sounded and Colin slowly put his fists up in the air. Kane smiled, then kicked him in the face. He smashed Colin in the corner before picking Colin up from the mat directly into chokeslam position for the chokeslam. Kane with the pin for the win. Afterward, refs checked on Colin, whose eyes were rolled into the back of his head.
WINNER: Kane in 1:00. Squash. Poor Colin. See you next week. (n/a)
They went to the locker room area where Punk was being fit with an ice bag on his left shoulder. ECW GM Armando Estrada walked in and needed to know if Punk would be able to face Chavo tonight. Punk threw the ice bag down, then said he would be there. Armando nodded.
They showed footage of Jeff Hardy‘s dive onto Randy Orton last night. Styles said they would have an update on both men up next.
[Commercial Break]
The Raw Rebound showed the five-second IC Title match last night, then the post-match battle leading to Hardy flipping Orton off the stage to the floor and Hardy with the Swanton bomb from the scaffold. They included footage from a few weeks ago when Orton took out Matt, which they interplayed with Jeff wanting to take Orton out for revenge, leading to the Swanton bomb.
Ringside, Styles and Tazz talked about Hardy’s dive, then said both men spent the night in the hospital. Orton had back and neck trauma. Hardy staggered out of the facility before he was even evaluated. Styles said the match is still on at the Rumble. Tazz said Hardy will do anything to take out Orton. They ran down the Rumble PPV card in 12 days.
Shelton Benjamin came out dressed for a match. Nunzio was already in the ring. Shelton wasn’t impressed by his opponent tonight.
3 — SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. NUNZIO
Shelton quickly flipped Nunzio onto his back when the bell sounded. Shelton then accepted a knee to the gut, but came back with a t-bone suplex. He smashed Nunzio in the face with a superkick before ramming him in the corner. Styles and Tazz pushed the veiled Italian references to about 25 two minutes in. Shelton caught Nunzio in the corner with a powerbomb before hitting his weak-looking inverted bulldog for the pin and the win. After the match, Shelton took the mic and screamed that there ain’t no stopping him. He then finished him off with a second attempt at the inverted bulldog.
WINNER: Shelton in 3:00. Slow, prodding match. Not much to it. Are the announcers at a wrestling show or at the library? It’s like they’re afraid someone will hear them talking about the matches tonight. (1/2*)
[Q4]
[Commercial Break]
ECW champion C.M. Punk came out to the ring first for the main event. He was favoring his left shoulder, so you know how this match is going. Chavo came out next. Before the match started, Edge came to the ringside area to jump on commentary for the match. He’s working hard tonight with an apparent sore throat.
4 — ECW champion C.M. PUNK vs. CHAVO GUERRERO — non-title #1 contender match for Chavo
Punk dumped Chavo to the floor in the opening minute. They cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
They returned with Chavo working over Punk’s left shoulder while Edge looked on from the broadcast position. [Q5 — over-run] Punk tried to make a comeback at 7:00, but Chavo cut him off with more strikes to the left shoulder. Chavo put Punk in a triangle shoulder lock, but Punk escaped. Punk then tried a backslide, but only for a nearfall. Punk landed a standing back kick before landing a knee strike in the corner. Punk went up top, but Chavo yanked Punk’s left shoulder across the top rope. Punk fell to the floor, then Edge quickly hopped up and smashed Punk in the back of the head with his ECW Tile belt. Edge quickly ran back to the announce table as if nothing happened. The ref then counted to ten, giving Chavo the win. Styles said that sucks. Edge told him he sucks, good-bye. Tazz said Chavo will probably exercise his title shot right next week. Punk remained KO’ed on the floor as they closed the show.
WINNER: Chavo via countout in 11:00. The usual Punk formula match where the heel opponent picks apart a body part. Crowd was waiting for something to cheer about after a blah show, but they didn’t get it here. One positive is the program keeps progressing, with Chavo finally getting his title shot. (*1/4)
Breaking News: WWE Release THREE ECW Superstars! [>>]
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