RAW began this week with a recap of last Monday’s Cage Match between Umaga and the Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy.
Appropriately enough, Hardy kicked off the live show with his newly found mic skills. Jeff basically demanded that Orton come out so that he can take him out. Hopefully these two will have a nice date. After it’s all said and done, we find out that Orton will be challenging Hardy for his Intercontinental Title later on tonight.
I thought this was a good way to open the show only because of the result of Hardy’s title defense. I’ve been wondering what would become of that title while he was in the WWE Championship mix. POP QUIZ- Randy Orton said that only two men in WWE history have held the WWE Championship and the Intercontinental Championship at the same time. Who were these two men? Email me your answers and I’ll be sure to post the winners next week!!
After the 1500th video package of Ric Flair and Vince McMahon talking about Flair’s retirement stipulation, we get treated to a 6-Diva Tag Team match… or as my friend Marshall calls it, a “sexy botchfest”.
I only counted 3 botches, which is a few less than when I was in attendance at the Greensboro RAW taping. An average match by the divas, nothing special to note here. However, it seems to be that Beth Phoenix has seemed to get the better of Mickie James over the last few weeks- when will they announce that match for the Women’s Title at the Rumble?
RATING: Straight (5 of 9)
Backstage we’ve got Regal giving McMahon reassurance that he will do what Umanga and Triple Atche couldn’t do- beat Ric Flair. After a weird moment with an even weirder prop, Snitsky interrupts and demands to make an impact. Therefore, logically, Vince announces Snitsky vs Triple H for later in the show. By the way… could you imagine Snitsky’s nasty varmit self in HD? I’m glad I don’t have an HD-capable tv here at college.
Next, Shawn Michaels competes in a Royal Rumble Qualifying Match against…. wait, does it matter? It could be anybody and Michaels is going to advance. DUH! (By the way, he wrestled Trevor Murdoch.) This match had to be one of the most cut and dry, uneventful matches of all time. What I mean by cut and dry is that the first half of the match was strictly Trevor on offense. And then, at exactly the midpoint of the match, HBK took over the offense and never relinquished it. Where is the drama? The false finishes? The momentum swings? I understand that the matchup was a joke, but at least give us something to watch! I would like to give props for HBK’s inverted Figure Four Leglock, it was one of the most beautiful submissions I’ve seen in a long time.
After the match, Kenendy popped up on the screen in an obviously taped message (the tape track counter was displayed at the bottom- 2nd straight week WWE’s had some technical problems). I believe Kennedy’s got his mojo back. He delivered a very entertaining promo on how Michaels can’t accept the fact that he is getting passed by. He then accepts the challenge for next week, so apparently we’ll have Kennedy vs. HBK. Look for Kennedy to win a qualifier somewhere along the way to the Rumble.
RATING: Three of a Kind (4 of 9)
Backstage, Vince has another one of his heart-to-heart moments with Hornswoggle and decides to book him in a mini-Rumble tonight with Kennedy, Mankind, Batista, and a few surprises. Vince must have had a crazy moment when he choked the life out of little Horny, telling him that his last name was McMahon and anything is possible, even winning the Rumble. I tell you what, it must have been HELL growing up a McMahon.
I was quite pleased with the performances of Triple H and Snitsky during their bout. I thought we were in for another boring match, perhaps even more lop-sided than the earlier Michaels/Murdoch match, but thankfully I was dead wrong. Snitsky definitely brought his A-game to RAW and it showed. I’d say this is probably the greatest match ever involving Snitsky. After a performance like tonight, look for him to get pushed even more and perhaps even get a title. But is he for real?
After Hunter whallopped Snitsky with a sledgehammer, he engaged in one of the silliest skits ever. He supposedly destroyed the TitanTron, as JR/King put it. I’m sorry, but ripping a cloth backdrop at the top of the ramp is NOT destroying the TitanTron. And then to have sparks and flames shooting out from it was incredibly cartoonish. If he was supposed to destroy the Tron, he should have DESTROYED it. It would’ve been a great way to introduce the new stage design that is supposedly set to debut soon. Lest I forget that these are WWE writers… all of this only to learn Hunter is back in the Rumble, as long as he wins his match next week. I’d bet on Big Show or Lashley returning to do Vince’s dirty work for him.
RATING: Full House (7 of 9)
JBL’s 2nd_Coming proved to be a bunch of the same ol’ same ol’ and almost an EXACT replica of his return a couple of weeks ago. Nothing special here, although I would like to note that Mobile got SHAFTED with JBL’s pyro. The show I went to in Greensboro when JBL made his RAW return two weeks ago had much better pyro… and we had a better ventilation system.
RAW’s prelude to the main event was the mini-Rumble involving Hornswoggle. As it turned out, Kennedy, Mankind, and Batista were all little people as well. The idea of having this match just went from bad to worse. And then, just when you thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse The Great Khali came out- the FULL size Great Khali. Finlay stormed the ring before Khali could murder Horny and beat him with his stick. Vince would ultimately sign a match for SmackDown giving Finlay the chance for revenge against Khali one-on-one.
RATING: …… Honestly? This match gets the biggest 0 ever. Actually, give it any negative number you’d like. Plain HORRIBLE!
(Editor’s Note: RAW had to put up the “We are Experiencing Technical Difficulties” screen up again tonight. Aren’t they supposed to be going HD? Shouldn’t they screw up on their own time instead of on live TV and wasting everyone’s time?)
Officially, the Regal vs Flair match started at 10:54 PM, leaving only 11 minutes in the regular time slot for RAW. How are you supposed to have an effective “career-threatening match” and an Intercontinental Championship match in 11 minutes? This has got to be the most POORLY PLANNED RAW in recent memory. The match was only on television for 2 whole minutes. 2 MINUTES!!!!! And if that wasn’t bad enough, the whole 2 minutes felt incredibly rushed, botched, and we unfortunately had to see not only Ric Flair’s old wrinkly white ass but also Regal’s white buttcheeks.
What was the point of this match? There was none. Flair is scheduled to wrestle MVP at the Rumble in a “career-threatening match” so why would he lose on before then? By him being in a match, it takes away from any hype of this whole idea of every match being a possible retirement match for Flair. Horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE booking and planning.
RATING: Pair (2 of 9)
Instead of making up for lost time by having Hardy and Orton make their entrances during the commercial break, we waste another couple of minutes between their entrances and a flashback to 2 weeks ago. The match ended almost immediately by Orton blatantly attacking Hardy’s groin area and getting DQ’d. The show ended with Hardy moving out of the way before Orton could score a kick to the head on the top of the stage. This sent Orton to the floor, crashing through debris. Hardy then scaled the side of the scaffolding and hurled him off the metal structure from above 20 feet in the air nearly killing himself and Orton with a Swanton Bomb. This would have had a much better effect if the last 25 minutes didn’t seem so rushed.
RATING: Match- High Card (1 of 9). Swanton Bomb- Full House (7 of 9)
Overall, this show royally sucked. I don’t think I’ve ever been so infuriated to have wasted two hours of my life, especially on the day I return to college carrying a 21-hour workload. Since the opening RAW of 2008, the shows have gotten progressively worse, and I doubt we’re even close to rock-bottom yet. Oh yeah, keep in mind that this was only the 3rd RAW of the new year! Except for Jeff Hardy vs Orton, RAW did next to nothing to further the storylines and feuds going into the Royal Rumble.
OVERALL RATING: 2 Pair (3 of 9)
I’m genuinely interested in what each of you thought of the show, so please share your thoughts by filling out the simple comment form below. Does anyone else feel that this show was just plain terrible?!
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