Well, after a dormant year in 2007, I’m going to try and make a comeback here in 2008 with reviews. For those who don’t know, I used to be pretty good at them and I used to cover everything. Well, most of 06 and all of 07 threw that out the window! I haven’t done in a review in literally over a year, but now, I have about four half-written up so it seems like it’s a go for me right now. I’m going to try to review everything this year, but with me working so much and other obligations, I just might have to cut some out. I’m also going to make some changes to the way I review things as before, I was just far too in-depth. It was ridiculous for those who never read them before. I am going to keep the star wrestler feature for the matches; I think it’s unique and I used to get some good feedback on it. I am going to start doing match quality though and rate a match on a seven-ish scale of poor, very bad, bad, average, good, very good, and great. I’m not going to do star ratings for two reasons: one, everyone else does them so why read my reviews and two, star ratings for TV matches is ridiculous and star ratings in general with me change so much and there’s not that much difference in a **** and **** 1/4 match in my eyes so I think I can avoid the headache I’ll get from people e-mailing me bitching over it. This will probably make my reviews equal the old ones in length, but not in in-depth and wordiness (I’ve never got a confirmation if that’s a word or not). Anyway, enough talking, let’s get some reviewing on…
This ECW was taped in my hometown of Richmond, VA along with SmackDown. I did not attend it and to be honest, I’m not really torn about it. I had a chance to win free tickets at a burrito bar downtown, but after getting there, I found out I might have to wait all day just to get some tickets. No way in hell I was doing that! The thing with WWE TV shows is that they’re so hit and miss a lot of times, even during WWE’s hot streaks, that I really see no need to go. My friend who did get free tickets and went pretty much confirmed all my doubts about going. Yeah, the tickets were free, but in the end, you could watch it on TV for free, save the gas money, and save the headache from watching some dumb stuff live. Well, let’s see if I made the right choice by not hanging out at a burrito bar all day…
Neat little video package played reminding us what happened two weeks ago with MVP and Punk followed by Chavo and Punk. Basically, MVP made Punk his bitch and got DQed and then Chavo made him his bitch, the latter being completely random and nonsensical. I love Chavo Guerrero, but come on – this was probably the most random run-in possible since he got put out by Rey Mysterio, someone who has nothing to do with Punk. ECW intro video started up after this and I’m already wondering why I’m watching ECW. Not a good sign.
Well, at least they started it up right by giving Chavo promo-time to explain the random beat-down. Estrada introduced him and Chavo came out wearing like a cut-up mumu that said Warrior. I like the idea of him possibly getting a Latino Warrior gimmick since Guerrero means warrior, but that mumu made him look like a latino Kip James who just lost a eating-contest. Chavo talked a bit and reminded me why he didn’t talk back in Los Guerreros much. His whole basis for hating Punk it seems was that while he was out (and he even said, injured by Rey Mysterio which implies to me you feud with him, not CM Punk), he kept hearing them call Punk the future of the WWE and it made him sick. Why? Does he not think Punk is good? Did he used to be call the future of WWE? No idea. Punk then interrupted him to a monstrous ovation and got into the ring looking like, no lie, he dwarfed Chavo in terms of height and muscle mass. Dwarfed, from my perspective. He backed up my misgivings on the storyline basically confirming that they have nothing for either man. Chavo then proceeded to mess around the mike saying that Punk, a relative rookie who’s dominated WWE’s distant third-brand, is a stepping stone. Let that sink in there for a second. Chavo even boasted that he was a world champion. Chavo, Chavo, Chavo – you’re making it hard for me to keep liking you. Punk brought the promo fire following this and told Chavo to bring it. Estrada, who was dwarfing Chavo as well, then told Chavo he had to earn a title shot by beating Punk in a non-title match tonight. Isn’t Estrada a heel general manager? Shouldn’t he be screwing over Punk and rewarding Chavo for nothing? This whole thing begs for me to poke holes in it and it’s sad because I’m looking forward to their match.
Commercial break number one thoughts: seriously, what the hell is going on with the storyline there? Am I the only not getting it? Please let me know!
John Morrison, The Miz, & Layla Vs. Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore, & Kelly
Is it bad I’ve already forgotten that Layla won the Diva Search? Anyway, Layla and Kelly started it up and surprisingly didn’t suck. Morrison got in, took out the men, and tried to take out Kelly, but got bitch-slapped. Moore came off from the top rope with a crossbody for a pin which makes me think they’re competing under Dragon Gate rules. Dragon Gate rules in WWECW? Yeah, moving on. Moore then became the face-in-peril and the heels worked over him for some time, actually well with some decent pops. Besides a good slingshot double-team move, they didn’t do much in terms of impressive spots, but they got surprisingly over for an ECW match so it made the beat-down work. Moore then hit a neckbreaker for the hope spot and got to Yang, who hadn’t even been in the match yet. Yang exploded to a good pop and got in all his spots before all hell broke loose with everyone coming out. They did the kiss spot with Yang and Layla after Layla tried to beat up Yang like she was a 1930s cartoon character. Layla took her out and then Yang took out Miz with his moonsault press for another win.
Winners: Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore, & Kelly
Match Quality: Average
Not much special, but nothing outright sucked except for a “spear” from Kelly to Layla. It got decent reactions, but I just wasn’t getting into it, probably because I hate Miz with an unrelenting passion, especially after he did Matt Sydal’s spot again…and worse.
Star Wrestler: Jimmy Wang Yang
Still over and still flying, Yang is still one of the most impressive cruisers in WWE and begs the question as to why they don’t just bring back the belt, put it on him, and build it around him? Seriously, he’s probably the most over of any cruiser they have right now.
Commercial break number two thoughts: next week we’re getting a fifteen minutes of fame match. Now, these used to be where if you lasted or won, you got a title shot; but, now it’s apparently an Ironman match in fifteen minutes as the most falls will win. They did kind of the same thing with MNM and I think Holly & Haas that actually wasn’t bad for what it was. My question though is why not just do a thirty minute one and get over both teams?
Coming back, Tazz was in the ring with Colin Delaney, the rookie who lost to Shelton Benjamin in his first match. They replayed that footage and then Tazz and Delaney talked a bit. Colin said it was his first match, Tazz said he was nervous, and Delaney’s New Year’s resolution is to be a WWE Superstar. Tazz dropped the bombshell and out came Big Daddy V to face a terrified rookie.
Big Daddy V Vs. Colin Delaney
Colin gave him two chops that probably hurt as much as a mosquito bite and then it was all downhill from there with a V chop, military press, Samoan drop, and elbow drop for the win. Poor Delaney.
Winner: Big Daddy V
Match Quality: Average
It was a squash; what do you expect? At least they’re giving people a reason to care about these squashes now though.
Star Wrestler: Colin Delaney
For being the new Mikey Whipwreck.
Commercial break number three thoughts: not exciting, but not so bad yet and we got Shelton coming up next.
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