I don’t know what scares me more – the fact that I paid $50 to see this show and wasted three hours of my life, or that there are some positive comments I’m seeing online. I wasn’t going to do thoughts because I was so upset after SummerSlam, but after seeing the comments online, I just had to.
I think anyone who said this show was a thumbs up is a part of “the new group” of fans, who obviously don’t know what SummerSlam was for this company. Besides WrestleMania, this is the biggest event of the year, and last night this was nothing but a glorified (and not even that was done right, no hype whatsoever besides HHH) three-hour edition of RAW with a strong main event that I paid $50 for. First off, am I the only one who was charged that much? I thought WWE charged $40 for PPVs other than WrestleMania, but last night it clearly said $50 on my screen. Second, how can anyone say this was a thumbs up for a SummerSlam? I don’t know if this even lived up to the SummerSlam events in the past three years, let alone to some of the previous PPVs which were some of WWE’s best productions.
The booking. I fail to apply any kind of logic to this. Forget the fact that not one single title changed hands which in itself for a SummerSlam is damn right insulting. Just about every single match had a flaw in how it was booked alone, though everyone tried hard, so on to the matches.
Kane and Fit Finlay had a really good opener in my opinion, but I expected them to. The story was laid out well with Kane’s ribs, and both guys are really hard workers and always give it their all. Finlay’s selling was good until he had to suddenly get up and make a come back every time only to get thrown down again. The booking with Hornswoggle didn’t make sense to me either. They couldn’t put Jamie Noble out there at least to tie some loose ends? Well, it was booked for comedy anyway, so I looked past that.
The McMahon segments in the back throughout the show were horrible, other than Regal with Cryme Tyme. I understand these were time fillers, but these little segments used to mean so much more back in the day. I also appreciate them trying to do comedy the way they did because it doesn’t take away from the show, nor does it change anything we expect, but these comedy segments were not even close to funny. And to be honest, they’ve had plenty of good hits with Santino, Maria, and Ron Simmons in the past couple of weeks, so on the background of that, it looked bad. Not to mention how Armando Estrada just disappeared and never came back for whatever reasons. I think they could have used the time for wrestler interviews to make those meaningless matches at least a bit more interesting.
I really have no clue how they came up with the idea to have Kennedy get pinned clean. That was not just shocking, that was scary. By night’s end I was starting to wonder if management was in the back laughing and saying “FU Internet fans” thinking they one-upped people or something stupid like that. That match was okay, not bad, but honestly – Carlito and Kennedy looked like the type of tag team they put with independent wrestlers that job to “the undefeated” Snitsky. Why didn’t Carlito – who hasn’t gone anywhere for almost a year, nor will he anytime soon – take the pin is absolutely beyond me.
I understand Mysterio was supposed to be the Silver Surfer. Instead he looked like the Retarded Melting Snowman. The sad part is nobody cared for his return, the pop wasn’t even that loud. The match with Chavo was good, and I’m glad to see Rey back in action. That was one of the few good points of the night, but I do feel like he should have gotten a far bigger and better reaction.
The Diva Battle Royal wasn’t just bad, it was awful. Michelle McCool should go back to loving life, because loving her wrestling is impossible. It’s not that she is not athletic, because she can do amazing things, but she has absolutely no rhythm and looks like a skinny female version of Khali. At least he has the facial expression down. I had to put the volume down to minimum levels for this. How much more moaning, groaning, and yelling could there be? Down right horrible. They need to stick to Melina, Mickie James, and Victoria because the rest is horrendous. Beth Phoenix seems to enjoy what she does a little too much – she’s a walking grave, she hits hard, goes hard, and any second I’m afraid she’ll injure someone or hurt herself.
I think even WWE got the clue of how horrible the segment was when MVP came out as Beth was celebrating. The following made me want to shut off my TV. First, they completely buried MVP in that segment. Fine. Whatever, he is a weird case right now with his heart condition anyway. Second, they made Matt Hardy look like a joke. Where the hell did he go as soon as Austin came out? He didn’t get ANY of the rub whatsoever. At least MVP was out there with Hollyfield and still played a part in that segment. Third, if you’re going to put Steve Austin on the show and have him get all his attention and little Stunner in, why in the hell would you not advertise it? Especially on a show that has NOTHING going for it. Just down right stupid. Unless bringing Austin was a very last-minute deal, this was just bad all around.
So as Kennedy and MVP were done with as far as I’m concerned, I sat there thinking CM Punk will fix this. Then when he got pinned in a botched spot that made him look really bad, I wanted to cry. After doing this stupid feud for so long, something had to happen here – and instead we get a house show match with a botched ending that made both look bad. Great stuff. Not what? Big V gets the belt in a few months and feuds with Boogeyman and Miz? I guess we can’t have good TV on that Tuesday brand because the main writer is a huge Jim Morrison music fan, and therefore Nitro … oops… Morrison should be our champ. Good God.
I’m sorry, but if you’re going to build an entire PPV event – SUMMERSLAM AT THAT~! – around the return of a major star, then do the return right. I wasn’t exactly picturing a mix of three entrance songs and a little bit of pyro as a “HUGE” return. And when Triple H’s entrance is minor, you know things are bad. Of course he got the pop, and how was he not to? But this should have gone way better. The match itself was good, but didn’t do much for me. This was just another RAW bout I can see tonight.
At this point in time, I was convinced Batista and Orton were winning with titles around their waist. But then they decided to do a DQ finish, after fifteen minutes of hell. I can’t even say anything else about this. Batista tried, but he isn’t God.
Well, you had to figure Orton was winning. But nope, that didn’t happen either. By the end when Cena celebrated, I was so pissed about this show, that I didn’t care for a damn thing. Not to mention that they actually had a really good match that I enjoyed a lot.
We end the night with Orton, Kennedy, Punk, and MVP looking like complete fools. And if you’re thinking there will be new programs tonight, I don’t know. I hope so. But I have the nasty feeling we’re headed to rematches for Unforgiven, and guess what the main booking point of that show will be. Oh you guessed it – The Return of the Undertaker. And this time, when you do the entrance, you might want to actually do something cool and memorable.
End one horrible show.
