Source: American Chronicle (CA)
Since I’ve been away from watching the WWE for nearly four months, the wrestling bug has bit me again. I decided to watch Monday Night Raw and while I was watching one of the worst and irrelevant wrestling shows of all time, which was the 3-hour draft episode, I witnessed Vince McMahon “blowing up.”
The first thing I thought when I witnessed the white limo engulfed in flames was, “did they [WWE] not notice the splice? This is so fake.” However, I must admit I was intrigued by the storyline. It was something different . . . well, sort of. I mean, after all, this does remind me of the “who ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin?” storyline. But, am I the only fan that thinks it’s sad that it had to take three hours just to make Raw interesting?
Seven days later, the investigation begins. Let the drama begin!
The first person I see is Mick Foley. Instantly, I was saying “crap. This is going to suck.” Foley was blabbing about how his words last week about McMahon were inappropriate, not that I would give a crap, because Foley hasn’t said anything relevant since 1994. Next comes Randy Orton, who could be the next Triple H if he could stop defecating in gym bags, and Orton pretty much says that Foley should be ashamed of himself, yet wasn’t it Orton that besmirched the late Eddie Guerrero? Ah, the hypocrisy that is WWE writing. I see it hasn’t changed. King Booka!, err, I mean King Booker comes to the ring and blames Bobby Lashley. Naturally, Bobby Lashley comes to the ring and starts defending himself. Finally, John Cena, for some odd reason, comes to the ring and tries to be funny, yet no fan laughed. I see Cena is still getting over….I’m being sarcastic. All of a sudden, Raw GM wannabe, Jonathan Coachman comes out and something interesting occurred while he talks. The Coach actually paused as if the audience was calling him a name, yet the fans didn’t say anything. Nice, Coach, way to get the fans angry by pausing and distending your interview time, it should tell you how important you are as a character.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this there will be a match at Vengence in which pits Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. King Booker vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Mick Foley. Wait?! What?! Mick Foley??? Why in God’s name is Mick Foley getting a title shot? Didn’t he retire? I can understand Orton, Booker, Lashley, and Cena, but Foley? Wow. Who is doing the booking? Who in Titan Towers said, “you know what we need to make this main event great? Mick Foley.” If Vince were alive today (HE’S ALIVE, PEOPLE!) I’m sure he would agree with me in saying to that writer(s), “YOU’RE FIRED!!!!”
I have to admit I wasn’t too disappointed with Raw. The tag-team match between London and Kendrick vs. the World’s Greatest Tag-Team was probably the best match of the night. I’m sure once WWE reads this they will probably let all four wrestlers go, because God forbid the WWE can’t sell actual wrestling that fans actually like. Other than that it was still a good match and all four guys should be commended for it. By the way, did anyone see that awesome kick Shelton gave London? Brutal!
Jeff Hardy vs. Daivari. This wasn’t a bad match either. Both guys have impressed me tremendously and I think Vince needs to take note that Jeff Hardy gets a huge pop, maybe bigger than “Da Champ” himself. Something to think about, Vince.
Next comes the “investigation” which only made me laugh how the WWE is trying so hard to make this storyline look “believable,” yet it . . . BLOWS UP IN THEIR FACE! Yeah! Get it? Okay. I’m sorry, but this storyline will be another “WrestleCrap” moment.
Next comes Umaga vs. Mick Foley. This match made me laugh. Foley, pulling a Ric Flair on us, starts the match by dominating Umaga. That is until Umaga pretty much whips Foley’s ass. Umaga takes advantage of Foley and pretty much sets up Foley against the ring steps and proceeds to TOTALLY MISS FOLEY COMPLETELY and yet Foley some how passes out. This portion of the match convinced me how clueless the writers of Raw really are. You’re telling me that Mick Foley can take a 30-foot drop off of a cage, get up and continue the match, yet he couldn’t take Umaga running over the ring steps missing Foley completely? What did Umaga do that was so devastating? Did he fart? That must have been some bad gas to knock out Foley. This isn’t really Foley’s fault, but if Foley couldn’t handle Umaga, how does Foley get a title shot? Shouldn’t Umaga get the title shot? That’s WWE writing for you.
Some other matches occur, but I was too busy shaking my head in disbelief that Umaga big ass missed Foley and yet Foley was still selling the move. Wow.
Finally, Stephanie McMahon, in all her glory, comes to the ring and gives a very heartfelt speech. Okay, it wasn’t heartfelt. It was more like . . . stupid. It was a stupid speech about how “that was her daddy.” What intrigues me the most is, NO FAN WAS BUYING INTO WHAT STEPHANIE WAS SAYING!!! I love when wrestling fans pretty much let the talent know they have no talent, and Stephanie is no different. Unless Stephanie is playing a cheap, slutty, brat, her acting ranks up there with Paris Hilton.
Stephanie tries to grasp the audience by being sentimental, but once again the smattering of groans and boos filled the arena, and Stephanie ended the horrible display of “acting” by saying “I love you, daddy.” Stephanie leaves the arena with every fan booing the hell out of her.
I believe the reason why Stephanie was booed was because no fan was buying into the storyline. The sad thing is, the WWE is trying to bring about kayfabe. What WWE doesn’t realize is, THEY HAVE KILLED KAYFABE!!!
With the internet, smart marks, and the simple fact that this storyline just doesn’t make any sense, every fan knows that Vince isn’t dead, and will return to our television somehow. I personally think that this storyline is stupid. This isn’t Dallas and Vince isn’t JR. What gets me about how Vince thinks is, I understand he wants to push the envelope, but by pushing the envelope you’re literally having fans turn off their television sets.
I can’t say that this story hasn’t intrigued me, it has, and to be honest the WWE could have made it a more believable story, but the WWE screwed that up already. Yeah, McMahon is dominating the internet with fans flocking to WWE.com to see the latest on McMahon. I’m not saying the interest isn’t there, believe me if you look at some of the other ideas McMahon has had, this storyline makes him look like a genius all over again. However, the art of wrestling is, and will always be, try to make wrestling at least look and feel real.
I think the storyline could go places, but I believe that by the end of all of this, every fan knows what will happen. 1) McMahon will come back. 2) Someone will be revealed that they did blow up the limo, and they won’t get prosecuted for it. Instead they will have to fight. There we go. 3) The storyline will be a flop, as usual.
What could make this storyline better? I don’t think anything can make the storyline better. Why? Because everyone is wanting Vince to be “dead” yet in real life, he’s not. Vince still hasn’t gotten it in his head that just because in a movie a character dies don’t mean the actor dies, but when a wrestling character dies, and yet the wrestler is still alive, then the fans aren’t going to buy it. Why? Because if you’re a good enough wrestler the fans will believe that you are that character.
Why is it so hard for Vince to believe this?
