Impact Wishes: Steve Schirripa Helps Team 3D

This week brings us a new contender for the X Division title, Mr. Backlund going nuts on Austin Starr, and Steve Schirripa helping Team 3D overcome LAX! Personally, I thought that the Schirripa segment was pretty funny and that he played his part pretty well. Also, I thought that Mr. Backlund ending the show by tossing Austin Starr around was hilarious – worth the entire price of admission right there, folks!

Remember, general comments and “wishes” appear in basic white while random or rhetorical questions appear in this orange color. In addition, “Quotes of the Night” are at the bottom of this page.

Segment One:
• According to the promo, “TNA is Wrestling” – so here we go!
• We get a recap of last week’s over-the-tope battle royal for the #1 Contender’s spot
• The Elevation X structure is lowered from the ceiling as the show begins with AJ Styles on his way to ringside
• Wanna bet he’s going to climb it on the way to the ring?
• Told you so.
• AJ Styles reminds us that, according to him, he invented the X Division
• What’s funny about having a show like this in such a small arena is that when a fan yells, “You suck, AJ!” You can hear it loud and clear
• What the hell is Rhino doing out here?
• Rhino accepts Styles’ challenge to compete in Elevation X at Destination X
• How funny does that sound? “Elevation X at Destination X”
• Steve Schirripa and Team 3D are in the back getting ready for the “Belting Pot” match
• Why does Devon say, “Oh my Brotha, testify!” after everyone else speaks? How stupid does that sound?
• Who thought of the name, Belting Pot match?

Segment Two:
• We’re back from commercial as Schirripa and Team 3D come out with some goombas for the Belting Pot match
• Ah ha ha ha ha! Homicide from LAX fell out of the ring and the goombas beat the hell out of him! Ha ha ha!
• Oooo, and now Devon is outside and getting beaten up by the “Latino Nation”
• Brother Ray has gotten fat
• I wonder if these people outside of the ring are famous…
• Uh oh, gang warfare on the outside between the goombas and the Latinos!
• How great is Steve Schirripa just sitting there watching all of this yelling?
• Ooo! Schirripa is in the ring for the “What’s up” nut shot!
• And Team 3D picks up the win in the first ever Belting Pot match after Brother Ray pins Hernandez
• Before we head out to commercial break we’re reminded of the last few weeks of the Sting vs. Abyss feud
• Is it really necessary for a weekly reminder of the feuds from start to finish?

Segment Three:
• As we come back from break, Sting says that we can choose whether or not we can die
• So, according to Sting, if I choose not to die, I’m set for life? Sweet!
• Sting is in the process of giving a promo that really should be reserved for the likes of the Undertaker – he does this mystical stuff much better
• JB is in the backstage area with Abyss
• Can this NOT end with JB getting whooped?
• And JB gets whooped by Abyss
• Eric Young comes out to ringside with James Storm, Jackie, Ms. Brooks, and Robert Roode
• The Voodoo Kin Mafia comes out with Lance Hoyt
• Earl Hebner is the ref!
• T-Shirts anyone?
• Ha ha ha! We get some good shtick between BG James and Eric Young doing the snake
• A whole bunch of stuff just happened and Storm picked up the victory over Hoyt
• Chris Harris runs out to get Storm and chases him into the back
• Now we’re treated to another weird Christopher Daniels promo
• Don West is in the ring with Andre Rison to promote Joes vs. Pros on Spike TV
• Abyss interrupts the interview and demolishes Rison with the Blackhole Slam as we go to break!

Segment Four:
• Paparazzi Idol is back with more of Jay Lethal acting like the Macho Man
• Kevin Nash must like this guy because he just gave him a cowboy hat and some Randy Savage glasses
• Back in the ring, Mike Tenay is with Jim Cornette for a contract signing between Scott Steiner and Kurt Angle
• Jim Cornette tries to keep this thing somewhat professional as Scott Steiner grabs the mic and tells Angle that his gold medal isn’t worth a cup of coffee
• Did Don West just insult WWE? Come on, Don, shut it with that.
• Is Kurt Angle really trying to pass himself off as some “good guy” for coming to TNA?
• Oooooo! Scott Steiner just headbutt Kurt Angle straight onto the mat!
• Tomko and Cage come out to help Steiner beatdown Kurt Angle
• We’ve got blood from both Steiner and Angle
• Shouldn’t Samoa Joe be out there to help?
• This segment ends with Scott Steiner shoving the contract down Angle’s throat

Segment Five:
• Mike Tenay oversells the last segment as we return before going to a backstage promo with Samoa Joe
• When we get back to the ring a 5-way ladder match between Austin Starr, Sonjay Dutt, Jerry Lynn, Jay Lethal, and Senshi
• The winner gets a shot against Chris Sabin at Destination X
• Sonjay Dutt shoves Lynn into the corner with the ladder, then walks up it to deliver a dropkick!
• Mr. Backlund emerges from the backstage area as we go to commercial
• How do you put a commercial break HERE?

Segment Six:
• We come back to some great action in the ring (with no less than 3 ladders, too)
• We’ve got all 3 ladders lined up in the middle of the ring and all 5 men fighting for position on them
• And it’s down to Starr and Senshi…but here comes Lynn
• Lynn wins and gets the match against Chris Sabin at the PPV
• As the ring clears, Mr. Backlund congratulates Jerry Lynn
• Austin Starr attempts to hit Backlund from behind and Backlund tosses him right into the chicken wing!
• How funny is it to see Backlund toss around a cruiserweight in that move? Ha ha ha!
• Before the end of the show, we see Angle laid out in the back
• I think ending with Backlund would have been better!
• It’s pretty amazing what TNA shoves into this 1 hour show, huh?

Quotes of the Night:
“Beat his ass! Beat his ass! Beat his ass!” – The crowd during the Belting Pot match

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– Joe Vincent
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