ROUNDING THE SQUARED CIRCLE
BY SAMJERRY
“HEY MISTER, CAN YOU ME YOU A DIME”
OR
“IS IT A DEPRESSION IN TNA?”
VISIT MY WEB SITE: http://members.aol.com/samjerry
The on line Dictionary defines “Desperation” as:
1. the state of being desperate or of having the recklessness of despair.
2. the act or fact of despairing; despair.
Lately, two refugees from WWE (Road Doggie Poo and Billy The Ass), who are having a harder time getting over in TNA than The Brooklyn Brawler at a Bachelor Auction, have trying their hardest to bait The Emperor, HHH and HBK into a reaction. They have made fun of The Emperor’s love of having his ass kissed, and offered to fight DX anywhere, anytime, any conditions. They went so far as taking a trip to The Alamo in San Antonio (HBK’s hometown) and offered to meet DX at High Noon. Hell, it has been almost as exciting as watching Gary Cooper in High Noon, or rather PeeWee Herman in a theatre watching a Sponge Bob SquarePants Marathon. The only thing they accomplished is pissing away TNA’s entire travel budget for the first half of 2007. They know full well that Dirtbag Doophus Page has a better chance of making People Magazine’s Annual List of The 100 Hottest Men In The World. He did get a vote back in 1999, thereby finishing dead last (and the vote wasn’t even from his own wife),
TNA gained Our American Olympic Hero/Zero, a coup to be sure. However, they lost Monte Brown (Or Monte Von Cor as he is calling himself in The WWE). Von Cor is a young lion, with a major career ahead of him. As great a wrestler as Hero/Zero is, he could be one move away from becoming (in Grandpa Dudley’s words) “a piece of furniture.” The WWE released him hoping he would take the steps to regain his health. Being the proud man he is, he signed with TNA as soon as his contract with WWE allowed. He immediately jumped into a feud with the then unbeaten Samoa Joe, TNA’s hottest property. Hero/Zero broke Joe’s unbeaten streak and then in this past Sunday’s PPV, they had a 30 Minute Iron Man Match (Most Falls in the 30 Minutes), which he won 3-2. In each match, both men put on a tremendous show, but they threw each other around the ring the way Cousin Joe Bob Bob Joe Dudley did with Third Cousin Moon Ray Dudley (from over in Not-So-Beautiful Upper Dudleyville) when he caught him messing with Sallie Mae Dudley (no relation). It wasn’t a pretty sight. The point being The WWE has gained a potential big time player, while TNA has a wrestler with a glass neck. Doesn’t seem hardly fair.
Not that being stupid is the sole province of TNA. The WWE is playing up the ongoing “feud” between Donald Trump and Rotund Rosie. The only ones who haven’t figured out this feud is a publicity stunt to promote Rotund Rosie’s afternoon talk-a-thon (whose ratings are lower than Dirtbag Doophis Page’s IQ), and The Donald’s latest TV show, The Apprentice, Los Angles, are the aforementioned Dirtbag, Booger T and Sharmutt. A couple of weeks ago on RAW, they put on a skit/match between Rosie and The Donald. On a scale of 1 – 10, it got a Minus-8. Talk about pure garbage. I will give TNA’s wunderkinds, Doggie Poo and The Ass credit for calling it what it was. This past Monday, The Emperor, still pushing the angle, tried to redeem himself, having Blondie come out as Miss America. Anytime she is in the ring, it is a Plus. This then turned to crap as Carlito came out to rescue his current squeeze, but The Emperor called The Great Cali-flower out to destroy poor Carlito. They are still using blotters to pick Carlito’s remains off the mat. The Great Cali-flower turns everything to monkey droppings.
In case you haven’t figured out it out, all this is leading to a match at Wrestlemania, involving The Emperor and The Donald. Maybe they can come up with a Falling Off A Mountain Of Money Match. I can see it now, each man atop 1,000,000 one dollar bills, trying to knock the other one off. Winner Take All. Too bad they’ll use Monopoly Money and throw piles of it into the crowd. They could cause the next big riot.
There you have it, things that have been on what’s left of my mind. Oh, one other thing: My Campaign Manger, Grandpa Dudley again urges everyone to vote for his favorite writer, and Lord Mayor of BDLD, Sam Jerry. Vote Early, Vote Often. Remember his slogan for my campaign:
“A POSSUM IN EVERY POT”
