THE TWO SHEDS REVIEW by Julian Radbourne
E-mail: twosheds316@aol.com
Website: www.twoshedsreview.com
A little later than planned, this edition of The Two Review takes a look back at the last wrestling pay-per-view of 2006, as the Smackdown brand of WWE gives us their annual Armageddon shown, broadcast on Sky Box Office here in Britain. Our hosts and commentators for the show are Smackdown regulars Michael Cole and John Bradshaw Layfield.
The show opens with the Inferno Match, pitting Kane against MVP. It’s no secret that I’m not exactly a fan of MVP, so I wasn’t really holding out much hope for this one. As a spectacle, the match looked extremely impressive, and it was obvious that MVP had made some improvement since his debut a few months back. But overall, this was a little disappointing, with Kane dominating for the most part, and getting the victory as he forced MVP down onto the flames surrounding the ring while choking him out, with Porter running away in a panic with his backside on fire.
Backstage, Teddy Long catches up with some of the bimbos….I mean Divas, and tells them that he has a special guest tonight – none other than Santa Claus. He then announces that the girls will be competing in a naughty or nice lingerie contest.
Back in the arena for tag-team action, as Brian Kendrick and Paul London defend their titles against William Regal and Dave Taylor. At least, that’s what it was originally meant to be, because Teddy Long came out into the arena, and changed it to a ladder match, and added MNM and the Hardys to the equation. To say that this match was amazing would be an understatement. Eight men put their bodies and their lives on the line to put on a tremendous spectacle, with, of course, Joey Mercury coming off the worst after getting a ladder smashed into his face. After what seemed like an eternity of bashes and crashes, London and Kendrick emerged victorious as London grabbed the belt after seeing off the attack of Matt Hardy. Again, a tremendous match, and if this isn’t voted one of the best of 2006, then I’ll eat my hat.
Backstage, we see Kristal getting ready for the lingerie thingy. Nice ass.
Singles action follows, as the most annoying man in Smackdown history, the Miz, taking on the second most annoying man in Smackdown history, the Boogeyman. I still can’t believe that they re-hired this guy. Once again the Boogeyman proves to be all smoke without fire, as all he seems able to do is clothesline and worm his opponents. Needless to say that the Miz loses, after a very contrived sit-power bomb from the weirdo. Anybody else notice how the Mix actually jumped into the power bomb?
Backstage, more from the Divas as they prepare for the lingerie thingy. Nice asses. We then get a promo from Chavo and Vickie Guerrero. Vickie, wearing a neck collar, then turns on the waterworks, and promises victory for her client.
Then it’s time for the second title match of the evening, as the exploitation of Eddie Guerrero continues, with Chris Benoit defending the United States title against Chavo Guerrero. After the debacle of the previous match, it’s nice to get back to business with some real wrestling. It’s a match of great action and intensity, with both Benoit and Guerrero putting on a great showing, and Vickie Guerrero playing her part well. Benoit emerged the winner, with Guerrero tapping to the sharpshooter, after almost putting the hold on Vickie at one point. Now this is what wrestling should be about.
More from the Divas backstage, as we see Ashley getting prepared for the lingerie thingy. She’s still going to wear that baseball cap though, isn’t she?
More title action, as Gregory Helms defends the Cruiserweight title against Jimmy Wang Yang. What is it about Yang that just screams out “give me a crap gimmick”? Once again Helms proves that he is one of the most underrated wrestlers in the WWE at the moment, and JBL made a good point on commentary as he lambasted the fans for their boring chants during this match. Yang and Helms put on a great bout, the sort of match that would have gone down a storm in the Impact Zone, with Yang missing a corkscrew moonsault, and Helms getting the pin after a unique move involving his knee and Yang’s jaw. A great match, and I agree with JBL entirely.
Next up, the Undertaker and Mr. Kennedy renew their rivalry, this time in a Last Ride match. To be honest with you, Kennedy has really surprised me during his series with the Undertaker. Although I was always impressed with him before, I’ve been even more impressed with the fact that he’s been put on a equal footing with the dead man. It’s slow, it’s methodical, it’s brutal, and compelling to watch as Kennedy and the Undertaker beat the hell out of each other, with the dead man taking a fifteen feet drop (by WWE standards) off the top of the Armageddon entrance set to the arena floor. But the Undertaker was able to come back, and after a choke slam and a tombstone on top of the hearse, the Undertaker stuffed Kennedy into the back of the car and drove out of the arena to win the match. Three good matches in a row so.
In the dressing room, Finlay visit’s the King to reassure him that he’s got his back. Booker replies that he’s not going to do the same, and it looks like there’s going to be an argument until the Queen appears to try and cool things down. At least Booker isn’t trying an English accent anymore.
Santa Clause then makes his annual WWE appearance as the host of the Diva Lingerie Contest thingy. After Santa declares everyone the winner, he rips off his suit to reveal that he’s actually Big Dick Johnson, the big fat dancing naked guy, who proceeds to dance with the Divas, complete with Christmas thing. And before you ask, yes, Ashley was wearing her baseball cap.
Main event time, as King Booker and Fit Finlay face the team of WWE Champion John Cena and World Heavyweight Champion Batista. Not the best of main events here. The match was okay in it’s own right, but I couldn’t help but get the feeling that this would have been better on an edition of Smackdown. It must also be said that both Cena’s and Batista’s performances towards the end of the match both looked a little sloppy, especially when Batista tried to execute the Boss Man slam on Booker. The end came when Batista pinned Booker after a Batista bomb to end the match and the show.
In conclusion – another Smackdown pay-per-view which has both it’s good and bad points. While the ladder, United States, Cruiserweight and Last Ride matches excelled, the main event was only passable, and the Boogeyman and the Miz proved to be the lowlight of the show. But for me the most memorable part of the show were JBL’s comments regarding the fan’s response to the Helms/Yang match. The guy just said what many of us have been thinking for the past few years now.
