Full Credit: Richard Trionfo, PWInsider.com
We start off with a look back at last night’s New Year’s Revolution pay per view. We see highlights from the Team Rated RKO versus Degeneration X match, including Triple H’s knee injury on a spinebuster. Then we see Shawn Michaels hitting the referee followed by hitting Randy Orton and Edge with steel chairs. Then we see Triple H give Edge a Pedigree on the announce table and Shawn Michaels giving Randy Orton an elbow drop from the top turnbuckle to the Spanish Announce Table. We see Triple H being helped to the back after the match.
We are live from St. Louis , Missouri and your announcers are Jim ‘Should Mark McGwire be in the Hall of Fame’ Ross and Jerry ‘David Eck-who’ Lawler.
The WWE Champion, John Cena comes to the ring and he has something to say. He says that the champ is here. He says that nobody can just lose a fight and leave it at that. He mentions how Armando Estrada went on wwe.com and tried to say that last night was a fluke. He says that last night was not a fluke, it was an ass whipping. Cena says that he got his ass kicked. The first time Umaga hit him, he learned the hard way why he was the Samoan Bulldozer. For thirty minutes, he found out why Umaga has decimated everything in his path. Last night was one of his toughest fights, but he made it through and he feels damn proud to be in the ring and say that the champ is here. He wants to know what Estrada means by ‘fluke’. Is it like a ‘one hit wonder’ thing or does he think that Cena cannot beat Umaga again. Cena says that he is in the mood to give Umaga a rematch tonight. Cena says that it probably the concussion talking so he decides to ask the crowd. He says that the crowd never let him down, and he points out that he made his Raw debut in St. Louis . He wants to know from the crowd if they want to see Umaga versus John Cena for the WWE Title.
Before he can accept their offer, Jonathan Coachman comes out and he tells Cena that it is very brave of him. However, Coachman says that he talked to Estrada and he gave Umaga a well deserved night off. Cena wants to know if that means that Umaga will show up in five minutes, or when he is going to his car. He tells Coach to make sure that Umaga does not meet him in the shower. Coach says that Umaga has the night off. Coach says that Cena does not have the night off. He says that the beautiful things about the new year is that contracts expire. Coach says that Cena’s title will not be on the line, but it is against Raw’s newest acquisition. He is seven foot three inches tall and weighs 420 pounds. He is the Great Khali.
The Great Khali comes to the ring and he stands face to chest with John Cena. Coach pulls Khali back from Cena and then he leaves the ring.
We go to a video package showing the feud between Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump.
Vince McMahon is in the McOffice and he reminds us who he is. He says that through the annals of history, there have been matches that changed Sports Entertainment. Bruno Sammartino versus Superstar Billy Graham; Hulk Hogan versus Andre the Giant; and Stone Cold Steve Austin versus the Rock. Tonight will be no different. After all of the bickering, the match that America has been waiting for. Donald Trump versus Rosie O’Donnell. It will be the brash billionaire versus the left leaning lesbian. It is all tonight on Monday Night Raw.
We are back and Vince McMahon is in the McOffice and he has a Fudgy the Whale cake. ‘Rosie’ enters the McOffice and she says that it is always a pleasure. Vince asks her to take a seat. He says that he has everything that Rosie wanted. He says that the rider was a bit extensive, but he got the terra cotta wallpaper and the big plush sofa. Rosie sees the Fudgy the Whale cake and ‘Rosie’ is happy to see it. She says that Vince forgot something and he gives her a fork. She takes a bite out of the cake and she says that it could have been a bit colder. Vince says that you are what you eat. Vince asks ‘Rosie’ who is going to win tonight. She says that she is going to devour Donald like she is devouring her Fudgy. Vince asks for a bite, but ‘Rosie’ refuses to give him any.
We see footage of the Intercontinental Title match from New Year’s Revolution, including the finish when Jeff Hardy used the cage door to crotch Johnny Nitro. We also see highlights from the Kenny Dykstra/Ric Flair match from New Year’s Revolution.
Match Number One: Jeff Hardy versus Kenny Dykstra for the Intercontinental Title
Dykstra and Hardy lock up and Hardy with a clean break, but Dykstra pushes Hardy. Dykstra with a knee to the midsection followed by a forearm to the back. Hardy floats over on a charge by Dykstra and then he hits a mule kick and delay baseball slide in the corner. Dykstra goes outside the ring and Hardy with a baseball slide and pescado as we go to commercial
We are back and Kenny has Hardy in a rear chin lock. We go to footage during the commercial when Kenny sent Hardy off the top turnbuckle into the ringside barrier. Back to live action, Dykstra with a swinging neck breaker followed by punches. Dykstra with two short arm clotheslines for a two count. Dykstra with a jumping back elbow for a two count. Dykstra returns to the rear chin lock and he connects with a forearm to the back. Hardy with a jawbreaker to Dykstra to try to get back into the match. Hardy with a flying clothesline and another clothesline. Hardy with Whisper in the Wind for a two count. Hardy with an Irish whip but he charges into a boot from Kenny. Kenny comes off the turnbuckle, but Hardy with a kick to the midsection. Hardy tries for a Twist of Fate but Dykstra sends Hardy into the ropes and from out of nowhere, Johnny Nitro trips Hardy. Hardy gets distracted, but Flair comes out of nowhere to give Dykstra a low blow. Hardy with a Twist of Fate and then Hardy hits a Swanton for the three count.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
After the match, we see Kenny writhing in pain as Flair goes to the back.
‘Rosie’ is walking in the back and she is eating some more ice cream. She sees the Diva’s Locker Room and she enters. We go to commercial.
We are back with another look at Triple H being taken out of the ringside area. Jim Ross talks about Triple H was injured last night. He talks about how Triple H was examined by Dr. James Andrews and the diagnosis is a torn quadriceps. The prognosis is that he will be out four to six months.
‘Rosie’ is in the locker room with Maria and Candice Michelle and she shows them photos. Maria says that she loves the View and she would love to get tickets. ‘Rosie’ drops the photos and Maria volunteers to pick them up while ‘Rosie’ watches. Maria says that she thinks ‘Rosie’ really liked her outfit.
Todd Grisham is with the Great Khali in the interview area. We see a video package of the damage that the Great Khali has done during his time in the WWE. Todd asks Khali about his Raw in ring debut and the type of impact he is going to have. Khali answers Todd’s question in a foreign language.
Time for another look at the Donald/Rosie feud in video clips.
Melina and Victoria are walking in the back as we go to commercial.
Match Number Two: Melina and Victoria versus Maria and Mickie James
Melina and Mickie start things off and Mickie with an arm bar and arm wringer take down. Maria is tagged in and Mickie with an Irish whip and running clothesline. Maria with a bronco buster to Melina. Melina with a punch to the midsection and then she backs Maria into Victoria in the corner. Victoria tags in and then she pulls Maria by her hair and then Victoria with a punch to Maria and then one to Mickie on the apron. Melina tags in and she hits a running shoulder into the corner. Melina with a snap mare and head scissors to Maria. Melina with a forearm that knocks Mickie off the apron. Melina and Victoria double team Maria, but Mickie comes in and she goes after Melina and Victoria. Melina holds Mickie for Victoria, but Victoria hits Melina when Mickie moves out of the way. Mickie punches Victoria on the mat while Maria gets a two count with a rollup on Melina. Mickie with a Louise Thesz Press to Victoria on the floor. Melina with a bulldog using the ropes to Maria for the three count.
Winners: Melina and Victoria
We see ‘Donald Trump’ getting his hair sprayed in the back as we go to commercial.
We are back with a Wrestlemania Recall: Bill Goldberg versus Brock Lesnar with Steve Austin as the referee at Wrestlemania XX in the ‘Fans Don’t Care’ Match. We see Austin giving Goldberg and Lesnar Stone Cold Stunners.
Vince McMahon comes to the ring as he does his stunt walk to the ring. Vince says that it is time for ‘THE’ match. He introduces the Double Chinned Diva from the View in all of her lesbionic fury, Rosie O’Donnell. He next introduces a personal friend of his, who is also a billionaire, runs his own empire, and enjoys saying ‘You’re Fired’, Donald Trump.
Match Number Three: ‘Rosie O’Donnell’ versus ‘Donald Trump’
‘Trump’ and ‘Rosie’ have some words before the referee goes over the rules. Before they lock up, ‘Rosie’ goes out of the ring and she takes a bite out of Fudgy on the announce table. She re-enters the ring. They lock up and ‘Rosie’ sends ‘Donald’ to the mat and ‘Donald’ claims that his hair has been messed up. They lock up again and ‘Donald’ is sent to the mat one more time. ‘Donald’ takes off his jacket before locking up. ‘Donald’ with a side head lock, but ‘Rosie’ with a shoulder tackle and ‘Donald’ goes down. ‘Donald’ tries again and ‘Rosie’ with another shoulder tackle. ‘Rosie’ with a Louise Thesz Press and she punches ‘Donald’. ‘Rosie’ throws ‘Donald’ down by his hair twice. ‘Rosie’ mimics Hulk Hogan as she tries to get the crowd into the match and then she poses for the crowd. ‘Rosie’ slams ‘Donald’s’ head into the turnbuckle, but he does not feel it. ‘Donald’ with a head butt and that staggers ‘Rosie’. ‘Donald’ tries to slam ‘Rosie’, but he collapses under her weight. She gets a two count and then tries for a splash but ‘Donald’ moves out of the way. ‘Donald’ goes outside and he gets Fudgy and hits ‘Rosie’ in the face with it. ‘Donald’ goes to the second turnbuckle for a diving head butt for the three count. We go to commercial.
Winner: ‘Donald Trump’
We are back and we are reminded that The Marine comes out on DVD on January 30th and there will be an unrated version.
Match Number Four: Carlito versus Chris Masters Masters and Carlito exchange punches at the start of the match with Carlito getting the advantage after a chop. Carlito with a cross body for a two count followed by a kick and knee lift. Masters with a press slam to Carlito. Masters kicks Carlito in the corner, but Torrie Wilson comes to the ring to cheer Carlito on. Masters with two Irish whips followed by a clothesline for a two count. Masters with a forearm to Carlito’s kidneys followed by a bear hug. Masters with a power slam for a two count and then he returns to the bear hug. Carlito gets out of the hold by raking the eyes. Carlito with a kick but Masters with a back elbow. Masters goes over to Torrie and wants to know why she is at ringside. Carlito with a standing drop kick that sends Masters to the apron. Torrie grabs the ring bell and then she hits Masters in the back of the leg with the bell and Carlito hits the lungblower for the three count.
Winner: Carlito
After the match, Torrie and Carlito celebrate in the ring.
Jim Ross talks about how Masters defeated Carlito last night at New Year’s Revolution. Then he thanks everyone for watching the pay per view. Jim Ross talks about the tag match involving Degeneration X and Team Rated RKO. We see the opening video one more time.
Randy Orton and Edge walk gingerly to the ring as we go to commercial.
We are back and Edge and Orton have made it to the ring. Orton talks first and he says that before they faced Degeneration X at New Year’s Revolution, they all talked some smack. We hear Degeneration X’s comments from last week about what they were going to do to Edge and Orton at New Year’s Revolution. Orton says that judging by the looks of Edge and Orton, DX kept their word. Before the match, they made a promise of their own. We hear Edge’s comments about the end of Degeneration X. Orton talks about losing the battle, but winning the war. They got the hell beaten out of them last night at the pay per view. Shawn Michaels jumped from the top turnbuckle to the announce table with an elbow drop through his chest while Triple H gave Edge a Pedigree on the other announce table. This action opened both of them up and they each lost tons of blood. They lost TONS of blood in this ring last night. After last night’s match, every match they took has put them in severe pain and suffering. But, it was worth it because Edge and him can stand in the ring and say that in the heat of battle, Triple H tore his quadriceps. He pushed while in pain, but that last gasp for adrenaline, he stopped too soon. He was finished. Rated RKO has done what no one else has been able to do. That is end DX. Edge says that last night was not a wrestling match, it was a war. A lot of people talk big, but they back it up. Edge talks about all of the people who said they would take out DX, but failed. The Spirit Squad. The Big Show. He was so embarrassed; he went to ECW and retired. Vince McMahon had his head shoved up Big Show’s ass and he has been trying to block it out of his mind. Shane McMahon had his silver spoon kicked out of his mouth. He was left a quivering, bloody mess after his match with DX. Last night, they took out Triple H. They finished half of the job. Next week, they finish the job. They are going to kill DX. They went through the proper channels. Next week there will be a handicap match and it will be Shawn Michaels versus Team Rated RKO. He says that he does not like Shawn’s chances. This is not about wrestling matches and title belts; this is about careers and ending legacies. Next week, they will end his. DX is on life support. Next week, they will pull the plug. Next week, DX will finally be dead.
Degeneration X’s music plays and Shawn Michaels comes out and he has a mic. Shawn says that he came out here tonight out of respect for the people of St. Louis and for everyone watching at home to address the question of is this the end of Degeneration X. Shawn hesitates and he says that the answer is ‘I don’t know’. What he does know is that his partner and best friend is lying in a hospital bed in Birmingham, Alabama getting ready for surgery. The crowd chants for Triple H and Shawn says that he will be by his side. As for Orton and Edge, he will deal with them next week. Shawn goes to the back and we go to commercial.
We are back with the Slam of the Week: Cryme Tyme winning the Tag Team Turmoil ‘Bonus’ Match at New Year’s Revolution.
Match Number Five: Cryme Tyme versus Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch
Cade and Shad start things off with Cade and Shad pushing each other. They lock up and Shad with a side head lock. Shad with a shoulder tackle and then Shad punches Murdoch on the apron. Shad and JTG alternate punches on Cade and then Shad with a clothesline for a two count. All four men are in the ring and the referee sends JTG to the apron. Cade with a reverse atomic drop and Murdoch with a running boot to Shad. Murdoch tags in and they send Shad back first into the turnbuckles. JTG exposes the top turnbuckle in his corner while Cade works on Shad. Cade with a forearm to Shad’s back. Shad tries to fight back, but Cade maintains the advantage. Shad with a kick and both men are down. Murdoch and JTG tag in and JTG punches Cade and Murdoch and follows that with drop kicks to each man. JTG with a flying back elbow to Cade and a back body drop to Murdoch. JTG goes up top for a missile drop kick and he gets Irish whipped into the turnbuckle, but he floats over. Murdoch goes into the exposed turnbuckle and JTG gets the three count with a rollup. We go to commercial.
Winners: Cryme Tyme
We are back with a WWE 24/7 This Week in History Moment: A look back at the debut of Raw at the Manhattan Center featuring Yokozuna, Shawn Michaels, and the Undertaker. There have been more than 700 episodes of Raw since that debut.
We have an Earlier Tonight Moment of ‘Rosie O’Donnell’ versus ‘Donald Trump’ that was won by ‘Donald Trump’.
‘Rosie’ is in the back and she is crying. Ron Simmons stops by for a DAMN moment.
We return to Jim Ross at ringside and Jerry Lawler is with Vladimir Kozlov. Jerry asks Vladimir about the ‘Rosie’ versus ‘Donald’ match. He says that the match was very entertaining. Jerry asks Vladimir about the main event and he says that it will be a very interesting fight, but he says that he can beat the Great Khali and he can beat John Cena. Vladimir says that the loves the WWE.
Eugene is in the back and he is talking about how John Cena beat Umaga last night to a production assistant. Khali walks up behind Eugene and Eugene leaves while Khali walks into commercial.
We are back and Armando Alejandro Estrada joins Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler at ringside. Estrada says that he has a vested interest in this match.
Match Number Six: The Great Khali versus John Cena in a non-title match
Cena circles around Khali in the center of the ring. Cena with a punch to Khali, but Khali does not feel it. Cena tries for a shoulder tackle, but Cena goes down. Khali with a hard Irish whip and a clothesline. Cena rolls outside the ring and Estrada wants to know from Cena how it feels. Cena gets back into the ring and he tries for a running clothesline, but Khali does not budge. Cena tries to slam Khali, but he cannot get Khali up. Khali with a back elbow in the corner. Khali with a forearm. Estrada gets a chair and he brings it to the ring. Cena grabs the chair and he hits Khali with it and the referee calls for the bell.
Winner: Great Khali by disqualification
After the match, Khali punches Cena and then he gets Cena up for a vertical choke and then he drops Cena to the mat. Estrada gets in the ring and then he gets on the turnbuckles and he signals to someone in the crowd. Umaga runs through the crowd and in to the ring. Umaga runs Cena into the turnbuckle and then he hits the running butt splash to Cena. Umaga with the Samoan Spike. We go to credits with Umaga standing over Cena.
