Impact Wishes: Wasted Television Time

Well I’m back (again)! It’s amazing what getting a full-time job will do to your hobby schedule… The truth is that I just can’t keep my eyes open when it gets to be later in the night these days so I had to stop putting up the TNA Wishes. However, I got a DVR last week and wouldn’t you know it – one of the first shows I taped was TNA iMPACT!

So – here we go again with the wishes. Be sure to let me know what you think!

Remember, general comments and “wishes” appear in basic white while random or rhetorical questions appear in this orange color. In addition, “Quotes of the Night” are at the bottom of this page.

Segment One:

TNA has a good opening with “T N A – We are wrestling!”
For the life of me, I can’t figure out why today’s wrestling programs show so many highlights. iMPACT! begins with a recap of last week when Kurt Angle broke Samoa Joe’s girlfriend’s ankle.
Ah – Jim Cornette is on the screen! You gotta love Jim Cornette as a character. He’s fantastic. I wish we had more old school guys who “got it” like him.
Are they really going to give away the Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle match on free television? Who makes these decisions?!
Is it necessary for the ring announcer to tell everyone that this match is the opening match of TNA iMPACT!?
So Robert Rood just comes out wearing a Ric Flair robe and no one says anything…weird.
How damn big is Rhino? And how great it is that he isn’t doing that stupid, “ECW is bullshit” gimmick any more?
This is a decent match. Both men are hard workers, which always means a good match.
I wish I was the one putting Ms. Brooks’ hair down!
When did AJ Styles go heel? This might be interesting…
Good Lord! Borash is still here!
So wait…Miss Brooks wants to do the nasty with Eric? And why isn’t he jumping on that?

Segment Two:

Now listen, I like Samoa Joe and all and I think that he’s a great, young wrestler. But equating him to Kurt Angle’s skill level is just a bit much for me… I wish TNA didn’t do that. Angle should be dominating.
Ugh. The Voodoo Kin Mafia. Son of a bitch – I’m recording TNA iMPACT just so I don’t have to watch WWE-ish storylines and hear about fucking Levesque. This is bullshit.
What are the fans supposed to think? That a washed up, injury-prone Kipp James should not have been kicked off of WWE’s roster? That BG James shouldn’t have been let go when his usefulness was worn out?
This is a joke. It’s one thing for internet wrestling people like me to go around calling Shawn Michaels by his real name, but for these two washed up chumps to do it? Ridiculous.
What a gigantic waste of precious television minutes…
What exactly is Kevin Nash doing with these guys?

Segment Three:

The best thing about Gail Kim (which I’ve said before) is that she won the WWE Women’s Championship on her first night out. Ha ha ha ha!
Oh come on – how much closer to the nWo logo could the LAX logo come? Where ]is the creativity – and the DIFFERENCE – that defined TNA for so long?
Ah, we could always use a little hardcore match to liven things up a bit!
Well I’ll be damned. That’s Earl Hebner refereeing this match.
Oh my God! How did Brother Runt not get broken in half after that Hernandez powerbomb on the ladder?! Damn it!
Oh, Team 3-D is around again?
How does Jerry Lynn get injected into this type of feud? He’s not even an older wrestler yet and he’s acting like he is…

Segment Four:

Abyss has a dark secret that only Father Mitchell has the entire details to…
Didn’t WWE do this with Kane a few years ago? Ugh…what the fuck happened to TNA’s storylines? I can’t fault their in-ring action, but the storylines that surround it are garbage.
This would be so much cooler without Abyss moaning. I wish the writers could figure a storyline angle out of that.
So I guess that we’re supposed to believe that Abyss just beat the hell out of Father Mitchell or something? Come on! What happened here?!?
Dude, how sweet is Christian? And how about Tomko in TNA as Cage’s bodyguard? That’s a WWE-centric move, but Tomko was always underutilized in WWE. Maybe they can do something better for him in TNA.
Kurt Angle gets this big, elaborate introduction with the lights and pyro I love it.
Oooo, and Samoa Joe ruins the entrance! Look at how big Joe is – he’s a monster.
So…is this a match?

Segment Five:

Boy – Don West is a natural born salesman when it comes to wrestling storylines.
I admit, this is pretty cool watching Joe and Angle beat the hell out of each other (actually, just Joe beating up Angle).
Ummm…isn’t Kurt Angle’s body not in shape for this type of stuff?
And they fight to the outside area.
Angle through a table!

Segment Six:

Wait. How did Angle get back into the ring?
This is just a good old-fashioned ass beating. You gotta have one of those every one in a while.
When did an Ironman Match become only a 30 minute match and not an hour long match?
How great is Sting’s schedule?
Ah yes. I remember these end of show recaps that they do for TNA iMPACT! Good stuff.

Quotes of the Night:
“You were brought in by me. There is no women’s division here. What are you going to do? Go back to Wal-Mart? Go back to Taco Bell? Go back to your uncle’s Golden Wok? Flipping rice patties?” – James Storm to Gail Kim

For direct feedback, my e-mail address is listed below (I respond to all e-mails). Please feel free to submit your own wishes via the Feedback Form listed below. You never know – your wishes may appear in the next wish list!

– Joe Vincent
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