TNA Report 12.28
By Jeff Hamlin (jhamlin@wchl1360.com)
Editor’s note: For the record, Jeff is the TNA reviewer who is not institutionalized. Well, not lately.
The Big News: Samoa Joe finally agreed to give Kurt Angle his single’s rematch at the Turning Point PPV on 1.14 after Angle put Joe’s girlfriend in an ankle lock.
Jeremy Borash opened the show outside of Jim Cornette’s office, where Kurt Angle again demanded a rematch with Samoa Joe. Angle told Cornette he would get the rematch one way or another. If you look back to late 1990’s WWE television, you’ll find a trademark of a Vince Russo-written show is for Cornette to come off looking intimidated, and this was no exception.
James Storm and Chris Sabin defeated Christopher Daniels and Petey Williams. Williams, who worked great as a face, and Sabin opened with solid chain wrestling. Daniels hit Storm with a leg lariat and a hip toss on Sabin. Storm forced Daniels into the corner where Sabin tagged in, and hit a series of knees and a drop kick to the neck for a two count. After a spin kick, Sabin tried a TKO, but Daniels reversed into an arm drag and a spinning backbreaker. Williams made the hot tag, who greeted Storm with a slingshot lung blower, a spin kick on Sabin, then a bulldog on Storm onto Sabin. Williams gave Storm a spinning Russian Leg Sweep, and went for the Canadian Destroyer, but Sabin broke it up with an enzuigiri. Sabin tried to bring in a chair, but Jerry Lynn ran out to stop him. Daniels knocked Sabin out of the ring with a forearm, where Lynn started arguing with him. Meanwhile, Daniels wiped both out with a tope. In the ring, Williams went for the destroyer, but Storm countered out a leveled Williams with a wicked chair shot, while referee Andrew Thomas ( I guess) was distracted by Daniels and Sabin brawling on the floor. Storm covered Williams for the pin at 4:04. Afterwards, Sabin, Daniels and Lynn started brawling on the floor, where Lynn cleaned house on both guys, climbed in the ring and took off his shirt. Thank god the 43-year-old Lynn was in better shape in Jeff Hammond was in 2004. **
James Mitchell was backstage teasing dissension with Abyss again. Mitchell wanted to know whether Abyss was on his side or Sting’s, or else he would give away Abyss’ secret. Since Abyss has the same speech pattern as Mortis, he didn’t say anything. But Mitchell didn’t give away the secret. Still, a good promo.
Samoa Joe, who was on crutches after being caught in the ankle lock at the end of last week’s show, did an interview with his unnamed girlfriend. He vowed Angle wouldn’t get his rematch, which pretty much meant Angle was about to get his rematch.
In the ring, Brother Ray said since Team 3-D defeated the Naturals, they had defeated all of TNA’s tag teams-except LAX. This brought out Brother Runt, who appeared to be drunk, and was still dressed in his Santa outfit from last week. For those keeping score, it appears Bad Santa was the Vince Russo Movie Reference of the Week. Runt wanted to know where Team 3-D was last week when LAX jumped him. Ray, who was pretty funny, responded that Runt was supposed to stay out of trouble this summer, then turned around and got into a fight with Abyss. Runt said he wasn’t going to apologize for being a man. Ray asked if Runt had been drinking, and Runt pulled out a fifth of vodka and spit it in Ray’s face. Runt attacked Ray, only to have Ray bury him quickly with a clothesline. Ray demanded D-Von get a table. For once, D-Von refused. So Ray got it himself. Then LAX ran in and started brawling with Team 3-D until security broke it up. Well, they tried to until Runt started destroying them with chair shots. That TNA security sure isn’t getting the job done lately. Who’s their supervisor, Mike Nifong? Somehow, Homicide was left in the ring, and it all ended with Brother Ray powerbombing Runt onto Homicide through a table. Ray was pretty entertaining on the stick, and this got the biggest pop of the night.
This week’s PCS event was a limbo contest. Basically, it was Kevin Nash cracking more Bob Backland and Lanny Poffo jokes. Only funny part was when Austin Starr asked Nash to hold his glasses, and Nash put them on and said “Cubs win, Cubs win!” Jay Lethal won over Alex Shelley.
Christian Cage did a promo, where he hit on Letitia (who looked much hotter this week). Cage said that Sting and Abyss were working a conspiracy to keep him from winning the NWA World Heavyweight Title.
The Voodoo Kin Mafia continued to mock the WWE outside the Knoxville Arena. The unintentionally funny moment was when B.G. James had to tell a fan when TNA Wrestling came on each week. Fans were chanting VKM, holding up VKM signs. Kip James ran into a woman he supposedly had a one-night stand with, and backed away when he saw her kid.
Bobby Roode defeated Lance Hoyt in 1:42. Miss Brooks didn’t accompany Roode to ringside, and she came on to Eric Young backstage, and the two walked into the men’s bathroom. Match was a backdrop for Ron Killing, who was ringside with Mike Tenay and Don West, saying he was going to quit smoking and he was going into acting. Well, at least he has a program now. Hoyt hit a choke slam, and went to the top rope, where Miss Brooks, who appeared to still be getting dressed as she ran in, distracted Hoyt, which enabled Roode to hit a German superplex for the pin. They cut backstage, where Borash interviewed a disheveled Young, who had lipstick all over him, They played it up like Young had just lost his virginity. Even in the realm of wrestling angles, this came across as so lame.
Sting defeated Abyss and Christian Cage in a nightstick on a poll match in 3:52. Rules were the first man to use the nightstick as a weapon was the winner. This made any of the submission attempts come across as meaningless. Cage immediately tried to get the stick, but Abyss yanked him down. This match had weird psychology, with Abyss (who wrestled like a face) and Sting double-teaming the heel Cage. Sting hit the Stinger Splash on Cage, and Abyss followed with a running splash. Sting tried to put Cage in the Scorpion Death Lock while Abyss tried to climb up top, forcing Sting to release the hold and bring Abyss down. The two stared each other down, which allowed Cage to recover and send Abyss out of the ring with a drop toe hold. Cage went for the stick, but Sting again hauled him down. Tomko started interfering freely, beginning when Abyss tried to climb the ropes. Eventually, Tomko wound up in the ring, giving Sting a fallaway slam. Then Tomcod went up and got the stick himself, only to have Sting catapult Cage into Tomko, who dropped the stick. Sting wound up getting the stick, and jabbed Cage in the ribs with it to win. Tomko and Cage started double-teaming Sting before Abyss made the save. Sting and Abyss engaged in a staredown, where Sting handed Abyss the nightstick and walked off, while Mitchell watched in disbelief. *3/4
They announced the year-end awards. Tag team of the year was A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels, which sure didn’t make LAX look good. Feud of the year was Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle. That’s both a blessing and a curse. X-Division wrestler of the year was Samoa Joe. Inspirational Wrestler of the year was Eric Young, a guess because he came back from numerous fake firings. Match of the year was LAX vs. Christopher Daniels and A.J. Styles at No Surrender. I thought it was Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels for the X-Division title in March. Knockout of the year was Christy Hemme.
Finisher of the year was Petey Williams’ Canadian Destroyer. Moment of the Year was Kurt Angle’s announcement at No Surrender. Who to Watch in 2007 was Kurt Angle.
This lead to the announcement of Mr. TNA 2006. They showed the nominees just like it was the Academy Awards backstage, which was a nice touch. The nominees were A.J. Styles, Samoa Joe, Jeff Jarrett, Sting and Kurt Angle. Fans were chanting for Joe before Mike Tenay made the announcement, which in fact was Joe. Joe started his speech, then Angle came out dragging Joe’s girlfriend from the back. Angle threatened to put her in the ankle lock unless Joe granted him the rematch. At first, Joe refused. Then Angle put her in the ankle lock, and Joe said the match was on. Angle apologized, saying it was nothing personal. Then he said it was all personal, and proceeded to put her back in the ankle lock. Joe hobbled to the back in an attempt to make the save. Whoever that girlfriend was certainly sold the hell of this.
