Source: PWTorch.com
-The show opened with clips of last week’s show-ending finish between LAX and Kurt Angle & Samoa Joe.
-They went to the ring where Rhino stood in the ring and said he’s ready to take on A.J. Styles. He called him to the ring. Christopher Daniels walked out making “calming gestures” with his hands. Daniels told Rhino that at Genesis, he (Rhino) stepped out to try to calm brewing heat between himself and Styles. He said he’s now doing the same for Rhino. Rhino said someone in the crowd just said “let them fight,” and he agreed with it. Rhino again called out Styles. Styles attacked Rhino from behind. Daniels tried to pull Styles away. Several officials entered the ring to pull them apart. They abruptly cut to the show’s opening.
-Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show. Tenay said tonight would headline with the most star-studded match ever on Impact. He said the All-Star War would feature Rhino vs. Christian Cage vs. Abyss vs. Samoa Joe vs. Sting vs. Kurt Angle. He also said Eric Young was getting ready for his bikini contest. They showed Young sprinting up the steps of the arena.
1 — HOMICIDE vs. PETEY WILLIAMS
LAX came out through their special ring entrance. Petey came out to music that had no Team Canada-style intro song clip in it, which is very good. Rapid-fire action early. Petey set up his finisher at 1:00. Homicide reversed it into a Cop Killa attempt, but Petey escaped and sunset flipped Homicide for the win. Afterward, LAX attacked Petey. Hernandez gave Petey a Border Toss, then Konnan draped the Mexican flag over him. AMW ran to the ring to make the save. They dumped LAX out of the ring quickly. Gail Kim checked on Petey and then taunted LAX with the Mexican flag they left draped over Kim.
WINNER: Petey in 1:30.
STAR RATING: 1/4* — Too short to amount to anything, but the action for the short time it existed was crisp.
-They went to an Entertainment Tonight style “update” hosted by Kip James from the VKM newsroom. Kip said: “People are protesting Bush.” Insert picture of President Bush. “The only time I protest Bush is when I can’t get any.” He said there are war prostitutes, “I mean protesters” everywhere. They went to B.G. James with a megaphone and a group of wrestling fans chanting “DX sucks.” They held up signs that said, “Two words: Grow up,” “Two words, please stop,” and others like them. B.G. chanted “Stop it now” with them. The camera panned down and revealed he wasn’t wearing pants.
-Christy Hemme plugged the main event, then they went to Eric Young asking if he looked fat in the black pants he was wearing.
[Commercial Break]
-A segment aired on the storyline with Sting, Abyss/James Mitchell, and Christian/Tomko. Soundbites aired with each, but I didn’t come away from the segment with anything specific that stuck. More cliches than substance.
-Young did calisthenics in the aisles of the rafters.
-They went to Kevin Nash, getting grayer-haired each week. He showed Senshi, Alex Shelley, Austin Starr, Sonjay Dutt, and Jay Lethal taking a psychological ink blot test. Nash asked what each saw. Lethal saw Christy Hemme. Starr saw himself wearing the X Title. Senshi saw a warrior. Shelley said, “My heart after you broke it.” The next blot Senshi said “warrior” again. Nash asked Dutt if he ever played doctor. Dutt said a couple times and laughed. Nash said he knows he’s on steroids. “You’re a gas-head,” he said. Nash pressed Dutt if the pics looked like testosterone, the juice, and gas. Then they plugged the PCS coming up Sunday.
-A blond woman interviewed Young, dressed in a weight-cutting plastic suit. Young said he’s trying to get himself down to the average weight of a woman, 115 pounds. He said he has to feel like a woman and look like a woman.
2 — SENSHI vs. ERIC YOUNG
Senshi was standing in the ring when Young came to the ring. Tenay called Miss Brooks “amply endowed.” Young did some push-ups at ringside. Senshi attacked him. Young pointed out that Sunday, the fans will choose the winner of the bikini contest. Young pushed the TV main event, saying it’s the type of match you’d normally have to pay “40, 50 dollars to see.” Tenay noted that Jerry Lynn will be the special ref for the Daniels vs. Sabin X Title match on Sunday. Brooks stepped onto the ring apron and opened her robe to reveal herself to Young. Her back was to the camera, but Young looked mesmerized. Senshi then attacked Young from behind and did the big stomp for the win. Because, you know, Senshi couldn’t beat Young without a distraction.
WINNER: Senshi in 3:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4* — Just a beat down with a silly finish.
-The blond woman interviewed LAX backstage. “Our flag stands for something this country knows nothing about!” shouted Konnan.
-Hemme plugged the main event.
[Commercial Break]
-A commercial aired for Sunday’s PPV, focusing on the top two matches.
-Another Kip James “TNA Channel One Newsroom” segment. Kip talked about box office records being shattered across the world, but not since Earnest Saves Christmas have audiences reacted like this to WWE’s new release “The Marine.” Every time The Marine was said, it was bleeped. They went to B.G. in a dark “movie theater” where fans were sleeping. B.G. said it was only ten minutes into the movie, yet there was no sound in the background. It must’ve been that long stretch of silence in “The Marine.”
-In the ring, Jim Cornette announced AMW vs. LAX was added to Turning Point. Christian’s ring intro interrupted him. Christian and Tomko walked out. Christian said no offense to Cornette, but he couldn’t help but notice he’s so busy trying to keep people from exercising their First Amendment rights that he’s forgotten the hiring procedures in TNA. He said he has a background check on both of them. Cornette said Tomko barely passed. Christian said he wanted to know if he’s done a background check on Abyss. “He’s done something that would make your stomach churn,” said Christian. “If you knew, you wouldn’t be focused on LAX, you’d be focused on him.” He said he had a story to tell about Abyss. Abyss charged the ring. It was accompanied by a brief clip of his ring intro. Seriously, there’s no such thing as a surprise attack anymore because music always gives away a run-in. Actually, that’s not true. They didn’t play Styles’s music earlier when he attacked Rhino. Christian and Tomko eventually beat down Abyss. Sting ran out and cleared the ring of Tomko and Christian with his bat. Abyss then struggled to his feet. Sting offered a handshake. James Mitchell was at ringside telling Abyss not to do it. Abyss shook Sting’s hand, then gave him a Black Hole Slam.
-A brief vignette aired with the Raven’s group that has yet to be officially connected to Raven, “The Others.”
-Tenay plugged the main event once again. Then they went to the TNA Spotlight with Jeremy Borash. He plugged the PPV line-up. They aired an Angle soundbite. He talked about a loss 12 years ago to a man from Iran. He said he never thought he’d see him again, but in the finals of the 1996 Olympics, he faces him again. He said he realized he was getting a second chance, and he got redemption and won. He said if he didn’t get that second chance, he’d have never gotten the opportunities he got to become a TNA superstar. He said Samoa Joe deserves a second chance, too. Angle said nobody’s made him bleed like Joe. Joe then chimed in and said he went after Angle’s neck. Angle said he’ll lose sleep over the rematch because nobody has ever pushed him that far. Joe said he underestimated Angle’s will to win. Angle said when Joe tapped out, he wasn’t happy, he was relieved. Joe said Angle stole him reputation. Angle said Joe is angry and has the capability of beating and hurting anyone in the world. Joe said at Turning Point he doesn’t have 18 months on his back. He’s not the no. 1 man to beat anymore. Angle said he’s worried he’ll return home to his family paralyzed. Joe said the second match will be different. Angle said win, lose, or draw, “this will be my last match against Samoa Joe.”
-Main event ring intros began. Christian and Tomko were already in the ring, then out came Joe and Rhino to their ring intros. Styles met Rhino on the floor and they brawled to the back. Security tried to separate them as they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
3 — SAMOA JOE vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE vs. KURT ANGLE vs. STING vs. ABYSS
Sting, Kurt Angle, and Abyss made their ring intros. Tenay said the six-person match had turned into a five-person match since Rhino brawled to the back with Styles. The match began with Angle vs. Christian. Angle tossed Christian to start the match, then nailed him with an uppercut. Tenay said this was TNA’s version of the All-Star Game. Angle settled in to a chinlock. They cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Angle still had Christian in a chinlock. Tenay said he was just handed a note that Styles vs. Rhino and VKM would perform live “the next really bad skit, Dumb to the Xtreme.” Abyss tagged in and gave Angle Shock Treatment. Joe broke up the pin attempt, then snap powerslammed Abyss. Christian attacked Joe from behind. Sting entered and gave Christian a reverse DDT. He clotheslined Abyss over the top rope, then brawled with him on the floor. Sting hadn’t taken off his t-shirt for some reason. Joe roundkicked Christian’s head while he sat on the top rope. He lifted him for a Muscle Buster, but Tomko gave Joe a big boot. Angle broke up Christian’s pin attempt and dropped him over the top rope. Angle asked Joe if he was okay. They were the final two standing in the ring. Angle then gave Joe the Olympic Slam and scored the pin. Tenay said Angle just sent the message that it’s every man for himself on Sunday.
WINNER: Angle in 5:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4 — There was good and bad in this. The good is they got their point across that the time for Angle looking out for Joe ended just a few days before the PPV, and the cheap pin by Angle further motivates Joe headed into the PPV. The downside is they had Joe lose again, risking it seeming commonplace already, and as usual everything was just rushed. Angle didn’t look great running the ropes, either. What once seemed easy and graceful with him seems to be at least a bit of a struggle now. The goal was to get ratings headed into the PPV on Sunday by giving away a PPV-calliber match that viewers wouldn’t miss for the world. The problem is TNA is establishing that TV matches are easily missable because they’re so short and rushed. It’s a catch 22, and you either live with those consequences or you change the formula.
-A music video aired promoting the PPV line-up.
