THE TWO SHEDS REVIEW by Julian Radbourne
E-mail: twosheds316@aol.com
Website: www.twoshedsreview.com
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It’s the time of the year when WWE lets their fans make the decisions via the world wide web, as Taboo Tuesday becomes Cyber Sunday. Our hosts for the evening are Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler.
We kick off the show with Umaga facing the fan’s choice, Kane, who won 49% of the vote. I personally would have liked to see Chris Benoit in there, but what can you do? It’s pretty much the same as their previous encounters, very few wrestling holds, and both guys beating the crap out of each other, with Kane looking like he could win until Umaga takes him out with the Samoan Spike in a good opener.
Backstage, Queen Sharmell tries to cut a deal with the Big Show, a deal which the big guy turns down.
Back in the arena it’s time for tag-team action, with Cryme Time, Viscera and Charlie Haas, the Highlanders, and Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. The Stipulation – Texas Tornado rules at 50%. A very fast one this, with various little battles in and around the ring, and Cryme Time picking up the win, pinning one of the Highlanders after Cade and Murdoch took him out with the hi-low. Short but enjoyable, and afterwards, the boys steal the King’s laptop computer.
Backstage, DX try to decide who they should vote for as the special referee in their match. As they discuss their choice – Eric Bischoff – Michaels flips about Eric’s recent comments about their lack of knowledge about controversy, and starts super-kicking everyone in sight just to prove that he can still be controversial.
Jeff Hardy then defends the Intercontinental title against Carlito, who polled a whopping 62% of the vote. Despite getting off to a messy start, this soon became a good match. Carlito countered Hardy’s usual tactics by keeping him on the ground, before the champ came back well. Some good false finishes saw both guys almost win the match, before Hardy got the pin after a second Swanton attempt. A very good match, which certainly didn’t deserve some of the boring chants it was getting early on.
Then it’s time for more tag action, as D-Generation X face off against Edge and Randy Orton, with Eric Bischoff as special referee, winning 60% of the vote. An entertaining match with a screw job ending. Throughout the match Bischoff called things right down the middle, until he got accidentally speared by Edge. As both teams continued to go at it, Bischoff recovered to take the replacement ref out. He then allowed Michaels to be taken down with a chair shot, and a second RKO on Triple H onto another chair. A three count later, and Bischoff awarded the controversial win to Edge and Orton.
Backstage, as Edge and Orton celebrate their win, Lita offers her own congratulations before Todd Grisham catches up with them, asking them about their “tainted” victory, which only serves to anger Edge and Orton, before they ride off in their limo.
After the arrival of all the Divas at ringside, it’s time for the final of the women’s title tournament, with Lita and Mickie James, fought under lumberjack rules, which gained 46% of the vote. I just couldn’t get into this one. It was just a mess of a match with tons of mistakes, between two women who, despite their credentials, just didn’t seem to have any chemistry. And what made things worse were the lumberjacks. The best thing about this match? The end, as Lita pinned Mickie to become the new champion.
Backstage, Kenny tries to give the rest of the Spirit Squad a pep talk, which results in more dissention in the ranks.
Time for the third title match of the evening, as the Spirit Squad defend their tag titles against Ric Flair and his partner, Roddy Piper, who won 46% of the vote. With Sgt. Slaughter and Dusty Rhodes at ringside for support, Flair and Piper showed that they can still do their thing in the ring by taking it to Kenny and Mikey, and although it wasn’t the best tag match I’ve ever seen, it was still entertaining as Flair locked in the figure four on Mikey, with the cheerleader tapping, giving the titles to the old stagers.
Backstage, King Booker, still trying to master an English accent, and failing miserably, tries to cut a deal with John Cena. The King is surprised when Cena agrees to his plan, in exchange for a night with the Queen. After sending Sharmell out of the room, Booker agrees to the deal, with Cena replying by saying that he thought Booker was stupid enough to agree to something like then. At the end of the segment, Ron Simmons makes another appearance, and says the only thing that he really needs to say.
Main event time, the Champion of Champions match, featuring World Champion King Booker, WWE Champion John Cena, and ECW Champion the Big Show, with the World title up for grabs, winning 67% of the vote. A hell of a match here with a ton of drama, spoiled by the awful finish. The Big Show really impressed me, dominating both of his opponents whenever he was in the ring, and the exchanges between Booker and Cena were also great to watch. But after Cena FU’ed Sharmell when she tried to interfere, Cena’s pin on Booker was broken up by none other than Kevin Federline, as the soon to be ex-Mr. Britney Spears clobbered Cena with the World title belt. As K-Fed left the ring, Booker clobbered Cena with the belt again, and got the pin to retain his title. And the last thing we saw as the show went off the air was Federline taunting Cena from the entrance ramp.
In conclusion – despite a few sloppy moments, the Cyber Sunday format provided an entertaining show, until Kevin Federline came onto the scene. Bring back memories of David Arquette’s tenure in WCW, Federline’s appearance here did absolutely nothing to enhance the show, and now he’s got a divorce settlement to work out, hopefully he won’t be returning anytime soon.
So take out K-Fed and the woman’s title match, and you’ve got a good show.
