I know this is an old episode of iMPACT! to be reviewing, but I’m getting back into reviewing all the shows and it seems like this one is a good starting point as it’s the first iMPACT! after the last PPV. Just bear with me as I go through this one and this week’s iMPACT! review will be up soon as well.
The TNA video opened the show up like normally, except I noticed some quick shots of Jeff Hardy‘s painted up face right before AJ Styles started bouncing up and down. I know not many people will notice it and it’s not that big of a deal, but come on TNA. The guy is on RAW now. You don’t see WWE having small shots of Christian in their opening packages. Well, that’s because they change theirs daily because of how many people are getting injured or being “wellnessed.” Right after the TNA video, we saw Homicide and Konnan taking it to Christopher Daniels and throwing him into the announce table while AJ Styles is taking on the other LAX member in the crowd. Daniels was then shown busted open as Konnan got on the mike and asked him how it felt to taste your own blood. He then started to beat down Daniels as well and then we saw Hernandez catch AJ Styles and then toss him onto the ramp like a rag doll. That was a great spot and I just loved the crowd reaction and the way AJ slid down the ramp after it. Who am I kidding? This whole thing was great. They then showed Homicide squeezing the blood (yes, squeezing) out of Daniels’ head inside the ring which was set-up as a congratulations for something as there were banners and a cake inside the ring. It continued on with LAX taking it to AJ and Daniels in the ring before Hernandez charged at Daniels with a chair in the corner and Daniels countered it with a kick to the chair to the head. Daniels and AJ then started to mount a comeback and Daniels’ face was amazingly brutal which he showed right before hitting a Lou Thesz press onto Hernandez. It didn’t last long though as Homicide came from behind with a coat hanger and started choking Daniels out. AJ then hopped on Hernandez to choke him out and as he turned around, Konnan nailed him with a champagne bottle which was supposed to be for the celebration. LAX then continued the onslaught as AJ was now busted open as well, but not nearly as bad as Daniels’ face was by this point.
For some reason only God knows, Rhino then ran down to take out LAX and save the babyface Tag Team Champions, but then Monty Brown came out and started to take it to the guy he was just in a war with at Hard Justice and the whole segment started to nosedive. Then, on top of everything, Brother Runt of all people ran out to take it to Monty Brown. Why? God only knows. Abyss then made his way out to meet Runt and then Joe ran out to take it to both Brown and Rhino. Jarrett, who I’m sure booked this segment, came down saying they ruined his celebration, but he demands them to hit the confetti anyway. We saw Joe and Rhino head up the entrance ramp to brawl while Jarrett picked up an intact champagne bottle and started celebrating no matter what was going on. The lights then went out and then came back on and Sting was in the ring of course and he started to manhandle all the heels with his baseball bat. Yep, nothing shits all over a great LAX beat down by then being shut down by a middle-aged guy with a baseball bat. I do admit that I liked when he started to take down Abyss as it took more bat shots than everyone else, but this segment was just dumb by this point. Sting then got on the mike and said they are chanting T-N-A in Orlando. Ok, what did that have to do with anything? What, can you not get over by yourself anymore with a crowd that practically treated you like the messiah at first? God, this is dumb. Sting then said that Jarrett didn’t beat him for the title, Christian did. He then said the fans can continue to chant it. Sting then wanted a re-match at Bound For Glory, he will do anything for it, and he wants an answer tonight.
And that was it for the best job of taking an amazing opening segment and turning into one of the worst. My God, this is literally TNA’s problem. As soon as one feud gets heat and really good, they need to throw in all the other feuds going on and hope to get a rub off. This was literally like any main event you’ve ever seen with Jeff Jarrett only there was no match. It was a brawl between two teams who hate each other and for some reason, everyone decided it was a good time to get themselves over. If they had left it as it stood before Rhino came out, it would have been one of the best opening segments I’ve seen in a while. But no, they just had to parade everyone out because they obviously have beef with the fact that LAX is getting over. This is pathetic. Then, on top of all of this, we find out that it’s going to be Sting Vs. Jeff Jarrett at Bound For Glory. Not Samoa Joe Vs. Jeff Jarrett. Not Samoa Joe Vs. Sting. Sting Vs. Jeff Jarrett. I know Jarrett hasn’t “accepted” by this point, but it’s as obvious as the fact that nobody wants to see Jarrett with the title. How the hell do you mess up something like the Samoa Joe storyline? Seriously, I’m asking you, the reader: how the hell do you mess something like this up? The Samoa Joe title win at BFG was probably one of the easiest & most logical things to book and it literally would have been the best thing for the young company. But no, we have Sting and Jarrett on top again because they want to delude themselves into thinking they drew whatever crowd they get in Detroit. I can’t wait to hear people try and defend this crap.
Mike Tenay then hyped up the rest of the show with an interview with Christian Cage, the main event of Samoa Joe Vs. Ron Killings, and an answer from Jeff Jarrett and it was time for a break.
Commercial break number one already has me tired of the bullshit that is TNA. This doesn’t bode well for the rest of the show.
They then showed a Hard Justice PPV package and talked about everything that went on. Basically, they just talked about how they had a fire break out, but they still delivered “one of the greatest TNA PPVs ever” because you just got to spin that hype. Hard Justice was lucky to be an average show, and while they did recover well from the fire, I seriously doubt it was the greatest of anything.
Jeremy Borash was then shown outside of Jeff Jarrett’s office and he’s waiting for Jeff Jarrett’s answer to Sting, but then Eric Young hops out wearing a “Don’t Fire Eric” T-Shirt. Jeremy and Eric went back and forth for a little bit in a humorous exchange before Young said that Jarrett will have an answer for everyone tonight. The humor then picked up as Young said Jarrett told him to get the hell out and Borash asked to get out of where, to which Young started to freak out as it could mean out of TNA. He then asked if Jarrett could fire him! Oh, no! Young then got upset contemplating this as Borash ended the segment saying they’ll have an answer later tonight. If it’s an answer on Jarrett’s part, I could care less. On Young’s part, I can’t wait. Sadly, I know it’s the first.
Trios Match
Paparazzis & Petey Williams Vs. Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal, & Sonjay Dutt
Of course, the Paparazzis were wearing “Kev” arm-bands and Shelley was still doing the Embasy pose. Why that’s funny is because Shelley is apparently done with ROH, but is still going to use their top heel faction symbol as his ring pose. I’d love for him to an interview in TNA trying to explain what it is and means without referencing ROH at all. It was weird as hell seeing Petey Williams still without his normal Team Canada garb and music. Did he really have to change his whole attire and music just because the team broke up? You’d think all he’d have to do is get rid of the shit that says “Team Canada,” but oh well. Onto Lethal, Sabin, and Dutt who are paired up any time you get an X Division Trios match going. Other than Shelley, the ring is just filled of people I don’t expect TNA to do anything noteworthy with in the next six months. Well, go ahead and throw Shelley into that as well.
This was a pretty bland and nothing match. Devine and Lethal started it out, but Lethal out-wrestled Devine (not with his normal pop though) causing Shelley to hop in, spit into Lethal’s face, and then take him out. Sabin then hopped in, but Shelley caught him and held him for Williams to shut him down, but Sabin ducked out and Williams hit Shelley. Dutt then hopped in and Sabin tossed him up in the air sending Dutt to do a dropkick to both. They then trade tope suicidas to the heels which would have been fine had the heels not been staring at the faces for about a minute before hand. In the ring, Hebner jumped in to take it to Johnson who he blames for losing his job and it’s time to go to commercial. Pretty much the normal routine of trying a big series of spots with the faces standing on top at the end before the commercial break.
Commercial break number two doesn’t leave me with much more hope for the rest of the show truthfully.
As the show came back, Williams and Lethal were in the ring going back and forth before Lethal charged at Williams on the apron and did a slide through. Lethal went to powerbomb Williams off the apron, but Shelley nailed him with the dropkick. Shelley then held Lethal as Williams connected with a leg drop across the apron. We’ve seen the spot a lot, but it’s still a pretty good one. Andrew Thomas replaced Slick Johnson in the ring sometime before the show came back and he was trying to restore order as Shelley tosses a battered Lethal back into the ring. They show a shot at LAX because we just have to get over as many people as possible in a segment before Lethal and Williams were shown trading blows again. Williams had the advantage, but then went for a bulldog which Lethal countered into a backbreaker to make the comeback and hot tag to Sonjay Dutt which, like the mark of any bland tag or trios match, wasn’t so hot. Dutt takes out Shelley with a Head Scissors, Devine with a shot, and then he nailed a double clothesline to Shelley and Williams all before hitting Shelley with a spinebuster for two. Everyone then hopped in and Sabin and Lethal take out Williams and Devine with an Irish Whip into the other. They then do an interesting comedy spot where they line them up and pretend to row the boat with their legs, stretching them out in the process, which apparently is a comedy spot from 1970s Lucha Libre. Dutt then hit a head scissors to Shelley in the middle of all that for a big nearfall, I guess. Devine and Sabin was then tagged in and the heels took out all the faces so they could all have their way with the Number One Contender in the ring. Shelley and Williams got their shots in, but then Sabin ducked out of Devine’s and the faces came in to take out the heels. The faces then all take turns charging and nailing Devine in the corner which was finished by a big boot to Devine from Sabin in the corner. Sabin then nailed a springboard leg drop to Devine for the win as Dutt held Shelley in the ropes to stop him from making the save. Sounds like a lot happened, but it was really just a mix of bland wrestling with no purpose or meaning highlighted by one comedy spot and the fact that it had Alex Shelley.
Winners: Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal, & Sonjay Dutt
Star Wrestler: Alex Shelley
Who the hell am I going to put here? Sonjay Dutt? Petey Williams? Are you freakin’ kidding me? The only thing noteworthy about the match was Alex Shelley and I really am not just trying to hype up someone I love. It really was the only thing going for the match that did nothing for anything.
To further prove that the match had no purpose and management has no plans for any of them, they quickly went to some exclusive footage of Hard Justice after it went off the air leaving the match before as nothing but filler in my mind. They basically showed a recap of the Sting-Jarrett match before showing the exclusive footage which was just Rhino bumping into Christian and asking what did he just do before Christian ran off saying he did it for him and everybody. Yep, that was it. Great exclusive footage there. I see why they felt the need to quickly overshadow the match before it. Afterwards, Tenay and West basically just talked about all the crap going on here between Christian and Sting before airing that exclusive interview with Christian Cage.
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