Impact Wishes: Everyone Gets a Free Ass Kicking

Welcome to the post-Hard Justice PPV edition of the wishes. If you’re looking for results from that PPV, take a look over here.

Remember, general comments and “wishes” appear in basic white while random or rhetorical questions appear in this orange color. In addition, “Quotes of the Night” are at the bottom of this page.

Back again with some TN – wait, this is UFC…
One of those trainers has a really annoying voice. I wish he would shut up.
Now I’m pretty confident that this one guy has a thong on made of an old t-shirt. Weirdo.
So much yelling…
How can they possibly hear the trainers with all of that hooting and hollering?
And where exactly is TNA Impact?
Dude, this white kid is getting ravaged.
So AMP’d Mobile does Fight Re-caps…I was sure that they were a go-no where company when they started.
They might still be, actually…
Now, I’ve got to be up early because I’ve got a new job that requires me to wake up very early each morning. So I wish that they would get to TNA already so I can get to bed!

Segment One:

Alright! “This is TNA, the new face of professional wrestling!”
See? This is what I like about TNA – they’re starting the show with a good old-fashioned ass-whipping.
Here we have the type-casted crew (you may know them as LAX) beating the hell out of Styles and Daniels.
Did they always have that ramp there? It seems more prominent tonight. Weird.
Only in professional wrestling can you have two guys get the ever-loving shit kicked out of them…and then come back to floor their assailants.
What exactly is that celebration set-up in the ring for?
Is this the beginning or the end of the show? Where else does a show start with three guys beating up two guys and then pretty much the entire locker room empties out to beat each other up?
Abyss!
Ha ha ha!!! Jeff Jarrett goes in the ring and drinks champagne.
Nothing like a little lights out a la the old ECW Arena!
You gotta love that Sting just clears house.
You REALLY gotta love that there are literally bodies laying all over the place in that ring.
Does Sting really deserve a rematch here? Why not get the belt on someone new?
Oooo, Sting “demands” an answer tonight. Pushy…
Where the hell is Christy Hemme?
Isn’t it great that we’re already 25% done with the show? Not that it’s a bad show, but there is absolutely no wasted time!

Segment Two:

How great is it that there was a fire in the arena? That’s ridiculous!
Borash. Okay, he’s not AS bad as I once thought he was…
But this Eric Young guy – he’s fantastic! He plays a dumb guy really well and he’s great in the ring.
Is that Chris Jericho as a member of the Papparazzis?
Oh no – that’s just one of those guys.
Petey Williams is really good, too.
When was the last time there was a 6-man tag team match on the other wrestling promotion…that was worth watching?
Ah ha ha ha ha! There’s champagne and wet spots all over the ring! Ha ha ha ha!
This guy from NJ is pretty quick in the ring – here’s wishing he stays in this organization as opposed to the competition.
Sonjay Dutt is out of control!
Ummm, is that the “You Screwed Bret” Earl Hebner? And does he have “dirt” on his face? What happened to this guy?
I’ll take the commercial break in the middle of this match because the competitors are so damn good. I’m still mad about it, though.

Segment Three:

We’re still in commercial break, but I wanted to comment that this Bound for Glory PPV has got some potential to it…
Well, the match is back, but who knows what happened in the last few minutes.
Wow! What a great reverse to the bulldog – turn it into a backbreaker!
“The Original Playa from the Himalayas” is this guy’s nickname, huh? Ehhh..
Don West gets so into calling the action, it’s great.
Well, now I’ve never seen that “Rowing the Boat” thing before. That’s actually pretty cool if you can follow who’s getting hurt!
Sweet Lord! Chris Sabin almost took Devine’s head off!
This is a GREAT 6-man team with Lethal, Dutt, and Sabin.
Am I starting to learn these guys’ names? Scary…
What is great about TNA (again) is that they show these video highlights of their PPVs – it’s awesome.
A sitdown with Christian Cage – potential here…
Looking at these video highlights, I’m glad that they change the stage set-up for the PPVs. It’s nice to have a different look for the different shows.
There’s my baby – welcome back Christy!

Segment Four:

Oooo, they can say “son of a bitch” on national television. I like it.
Oh! And “bastards!”
And I believe that the ever-typecasted Konnan just said called these two “hoes” if I’m not mistaken.
Konnan just said that he has more pants than Style and Daniels. Ok…
These Bobby Rood promos are so-so at best.
Is that a beer in that guy’s hand? I think it is. You can drink bottled beer in TNA?
I’m sorry, I just can’t help but laugh when I see Gail Kim walking out. The other wrestling promotion COMPLETELY goofed up with her!
Shane Douglas isn’t that bad at this “mentor” role that he’s been playing.
So, I’m pretty sure that this is a 4-way match, which is pretty cool if you ask me.
How exactly does this match work? I think there’s a title shot on the line.
Is it just me or are there other people who think it is completely pathetic that BG James and Kip are doing their “old promotion” stuff in TNA?
Well, I’m glad that the Naturals got the shot. I like their deal.
Sooo…you can say “bastards,” “hoes,” and “son of a bitch” on TNA, but you can’t show the double bird? Weird…
Isn’t Christy Hemme just yearning to be naked?

Segment Five:

Why do they let Ron Killings speak? He’s HORRIBLE at promos!
Sign of the Week: “Joe – no face paint necessary”
Ugh, Killing is just sloppy in the ring.
Oooo! But thankfully Samoa Joe is not!
How do you take a commercial break at 11:55pm in the middle of the main event? Ugh…if I was scoring this show on a scale of 1 – 10, I’d score it no higher than a 5 for this. Seriously…

Segment Six:

Back from commercial break and Samoa Joe is in charge, but we have no idea why.
Ugh, it’s midnight here – I’m giving these guys 5 minutes and then I’m going to bed.
I wish that there was better planning for this show and for the Spike TV line-up.
How great is “Joe’s Gonna Kill You” from the fans? Ha ha ha!
Samoa Joe’s chop, punch, chop, punch, chop, punch style is awesome. I love it.
Please Joe, don’t put a go-no where hold on Killings. Just break him in half.
Wow – Killings is absolutely terrible at telling a story in the ring.
Someone teach Killings that you don’t get mollywhopped and then come back with some ridiculous triple spin the air flying forearm.
Oooo, what a big front suplex from Killings!
Yeah, so how crazy is the Muscle Buster that Samoa Joe does? Crazy!
Jarrett accepts Sting’s challenge in a title versus career match. Woo hoo.
And it’s over an hour past my bed time, so good night everyone!

Quotes of the Night:
“Trust me, I did it for you. I did it for everybody.” – Christian to Rhino backstage at the Victory Road PPV

“I’m nobody’s lackey. I’m the biggest thing in this company.” – Christian during his sitdown

For direct feedback, my e-mail address is listed below (I respond to all e-mails). Please feel free to submit your own wishes via the Feedback Form listed below. You never know – your wishes may appear in the next wish list!

– Joe
joe1897 [at] gmail [dot] com

Submit your own wishes using our Feedback Form
Visit the TNA Impact Wishes Archive