Impact Wishes: Jim Cornette is Good at This

Back again for another edition of TNA Wishes. Sorry about missing last week – I was at a convention in New Orleans. It was an AWESOME time!

Remember, general comments and “wishes” appear in basic white while random or rhetorical questions appear in this orange color. In addition, “Quotes of the Night” are at the bottom of this page.

Segment One:

And we’ve got Rhino…giving another promo to start the show…
So I don’t get it – the way that Rhino talks about Samoa Joe – is he a good guy or bad guy this Joe?
Why is it that wrestlers always go back to the catchphrase, “And there’s nothing you can do about that?” What if I didnt want to do anything about it?
And there goes Rhino, thank you Mr. Monty Brown.
It’s great to know that if Samoa Joe were in WWE, he would be type-casted as some ridiculous Samoan Sumo wrestler like Rikishi was…
Ahhh, Christian and Steiner tonight – interesting…
Why is Jeff Jarrett so mad all the time in his promos? The man owns the promotion – lighten up!
Nash just looks funny in the TNA ring. Weird.
And Spike Dudley is on top of the entranceway looking for Abyss – right…
This Sonjay Dutt is pretty good. I wish that there were more of him in the larger wrestling circuits…
Oh! I get it! Nash doesn’t want to face this other guy. Ok. Got it. Thanks!
I wish, for the love of all that is good in this world, that they would STOP going to commercial break in the middle of these damn matches!!!

Segment Two:

And we’re back – though I couldn’t tell you what has happened for the last few minutes, because I was playing Solitaire during the commercial break.
Watching Kevin Nash is funny because you always know what you’re going to get. Sidewalk slam. Power thigh-up. Bodyslam into a backbreaker.
Look at Sonjay Dutt! He’s pretty good.
Bound for Glory is the TNA version of WrestleMania…couldn’t they have had a better name for it?
This Chris Sabin is pretty good, too.
You know, watching these guys in the X Division is a complete change from watching any other wrestling on television.
Oh yes – now we’re back to Sting and Jeff Jarrett.
Who is Jeff Jarrett yelling at? He’s sitting in an empty arena giving an interview to a camera! Why is he yelling? Weirdo.
And we’re off to commercial break.

Segment Three:

Either the TNA ring is really small or Sting is really big.
Oh come on Zybsyco…get the mop off you’re head. Ah, Mr. Cornette! Nice!
Jim Cornette is great at this role and I’ve only seen him for a few seconds! (Use the YouTube.com Video above to see what I mean)
Ah nice – the recycled pissed off Mexican gimmick! Welcome back my one-dimensional characters!
Alright, Christopher Daniels. Now here’s a match to watch.
Oh Good Lord…did someone just yell Boriqua out? Come on!
And thanks again to Brother Runt for making a random appearance in the crowd…
Now will you look at this submission hold that Daniels has on this guy? Damn, that hurts ME right now.
Ah, crappy ending to an otherwise short, efficient match.
The old neckbrace. I guess Jim Cornette really IS in charge!
I’m not entirely sure that I’m down with this Sting/Jeff Jarrett history stuff. The two guys don’t like each other, ok.
And here’s Jarrett yelling again! What’s his deal?
Now where exactly is Christy Hemme, our lovely host for Impact?

Segment Four:

This Abyss cat is nuts. James Mitchell finally found himself a sweet managerial role, too.
AH hahahaha! Shark Boy! Awesome. This guy is just great to beat up on.
Good Lord! That was a quick match, huh? Can you tell that there is a PPV coming up this weekend?
And Eddie Murphy gets a reference.
So yeah – Brother Runt is out of his mind, huh? It’s funny watching Spike jump around at a whoping 100 pounds. Good for him.
What exactly is Raven’s deal?
And the saga of Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett continues…
This is why I like watching Impact – everything I need is done quickly. The main event is next!

Segment Five:

Oh, ha ha – the Sting/Jarrett documentary goes on…
I love watching Jim Cornette – he’s great.
Ah ha! This Eric Young guy is great! Wendys? Ha ha ha ha ha!!!
He gives Cornette booze – ha ha ha!
Oooo, Cornette denies the tennis racket.
Man, I wish that the other “Managers” or whatever you want to call them in the other promotions, had the fight and natural speaking ability that Jim Cornette has – he’s great
So most of this segment is going to be introductions, ok.
I wish that they would always put Jim Cornette behind the announce booth!
When did Steiner get that ridiculous tattoo on his chest?
You gotta love that Cornette comes right out and says he doesn’t want to take up all of the television time. That’s classic. If I had a DVD Recorder, we’d have another Quote of the Night.
Remember those days when you could watch a full main event on television and see the thing from the opening bell to the closing bell? Thank God for that Classics show that WWE is showing on MSG.

Segment Six:

We’re back and Steiner is in charge, but I couldn’t tell you how he got back on top…
The best part about Steiner’s ridiculously deformed body is that he just sits there and punches you until you hurt.
This match really isn’t THAT bad in the bigger scheme of things, I guess.
Something about Scott Steiner in the same ring that Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, and Christopher Daniels use just rubs me the wrong way.
Do you realize that Scott Steiner doesn’t even try to make the Steiner Recliner look convincing any more?
And a shot to the jewels by Scott Steiner!
Is it just me, or is the Unprettier just a really stupid finishing move?
And the lights go out!
And Sting is in charge? Weird…
Now here’s the post-show PPV teaser.
“Odale, aribba la Raza!” – Translation: “No one will let me get over on my natural wrestling ability so they stick me with the mad Mexican gimmick. Someone please save me!”
Good show from top to bottom (other than the sad commercial interruptions). I wish that they would stop that crap.

Quotes of the Night:
“Toupee or not to pay?” – Slick Johnson to Larry Zybsyco outside of Jim Cornette’s office

“I’ve got one thing on my mind – and that is performing surgery and removing that cancer that is here in TNA.” – Sting to Jeff Jarrett during the Video Documentary

“Oh no, we’ve got to take a commercial break now?” – Mike Tenay before the commercial break in the middle of the main event

For direct feedback, my e-mail address is listed below (I respond to all e-mails). Please feel free to submit your own wishes via the Feedback Form listed below. You never know – your wishes may appear in the next wish list!

– Joe Vincent
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