“EVERY DINNER COMES WITH YOUR CHOICE OF SOUP AND AN EGG ROLL”
OR
“YOU GET TO PICK ONE FROM COLUMN ‘A’ AND TWO FROM COLUMN ‘B'”
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Grandpa Dudley and I are sitting around downing a few cold ones, after a great dinner of Possum and Grits, with home made Mud Pie for dessert. Grandma is out visiting the folks at the Beautiful Downtown Lower Dudleyville (BDLD) Home for Veterans of BDLD Wars. We got to talking about the recent goings on in wrestling. Here’s some of what we talked about:
1. RVD and Sabu caught with some Pot and Pain Pills: RVD getting nailed with some funny weed is like OJ getting caught sharpening the knives around the house, or Algore giving another speech on how he invented the Internet. Sabu has also been known to light one up now and then, and suck up a few pain pills every so often. This isn’t news, it’s more like a TV rerun, after all this is the summer. What’s surprising is that The WWE is allowing them to work before their day in Court. With all the crap about drug use that The Emperor had to deal with in the past, one would have thought he would have told them to put their trunks and cups on the shelf until all was resolved.
2. Edge has the Title back again. It used to be that HHH had the Title whenever he wanted it, and lent it out when he was going to be away to make a movie, rehab an injury, etc. That’s all changed. The Title now belongs to John See-Naught, and he lends it to others every so often. RVD had it for a while, and now Lost His Edge has it. This will lead to a series of matches leading up to See-Naught reclaiming it. I don’t hear the screams about See-Naught ‘owning’ the Title I heard when it belonged to HHH. Then again, if See-Naught gets booed out of a couple of arenas as it seems was happening recently, HHH may have to take it back.
3. The Great Kaliflower challenges our favorite Dead Person to a Dark Hole of Calcutta (or some other garden spot) Prison Match: What we have here is a failure to explanate (explanate)? Our fearless Dead Person will send his second to The Great Kaliflower’s second, have him slap him upside the head with a leather glove filled with rocks. and tell him they will accept his barbaric offer, providing it’s followed by umpteen civilized matches, such as: a Coffin Match, a Boot Hill Match, A Buried Alive Match; A Buried Dead or Alive Match; A Cage Match; A Hell In The Cell Match, and as many more as people will pay to see at House Shows and PPV’s. This will bring us to their Final Encounter around New Years, where they will meet in a Purgatory or Bust Match, where they will each douse themselves with ten gallons of gasoline and have the ring set ablaze.
Naturally much more has been happening but you can get that news in any Newsletter or on any one of 9,712 Web Sites. Grandpa has dozed off and Grandma has just pulled up with a smile wider than King Booger’s the day he stole the crown. Speaking of old Booger, have you ever wondered who wears the Long Johns in that household? I don’t picture Queen Bowzer of being the submissive type. “Submissive”? That was Grandpa. I write the word and he wakes up and heads straight for the leather and whips.