Source: PWInsider
ECW on Sci Fi opened with Paul Heyman in the back. He welcomed us to the show and said that unfortunately, Rob Van Dam lost the WWE title on Raw last night but he is still the ECW champ. Heyman said that RVD subjected himself to a schedule that no one else ever has and pointed out the three tough matches that RVD had last week. He said that tonight they were going to acknowledge RVD’s accomplishments on the show when Big Show burst into the room. Show said that Heyman told him that if he jumped to ECW, he would get a title shot. Heyman told him that he would but in ECW the company was always the most important thing and that he had to support RVD. Show told Heyman he wasn’t asking a for a title match, he was demanding it tonight. Show left. Heyman appeared to have gotten the message. And we all wondered if RVD was about to pay the second half of his penance.
Joey Styles and Tazz wondered if the Show-RVD match would happen and whether RVD would be up for it after his match last night.
Kelly (who’s full name is now Kelly Kelly) then did her weekly dance segment. She was wearing a skimpy Independence Day themed outfit. She’s still hot and still has no idea how to pole dance. That isn’t a bad thing in regular life. In wrestling however, it’s not so good. She pulled off her American flag top and had blue paint on her breasts. Then, Mike Knox, again, came out and covered her up and took her to the back. Once again, there was nothing new in the angle.
Knox then went to the ring for a match with Little Guido. Knox took the mic and was reamed by the crowd. He said that he hated to come out and ruin everyone’s Independence Day celebration but Kelly is his girl. He said we don’t have the right to look at like does (is he bored when he watches her dance too?). The match started and the crowd was all over Knox, including the first bleep on Sci Fi. Knox beat on Guido and the crowd chanted “Boring”. Guido made a brief comeback before Knox scored the pin.
The announcers then recapped RVD’s title loss last night. They fought the urge to say that Van Dam’s title range went up in smoke. Well, maybe they didn’t fight that urge but I couldn’t fight the urge to write that.
In the back, Paul Heyman was sitting on the couch. RVD came in the back and asked Paul what happened earlier. He said that he heard Big Show was pressuring Heyman for a title match. So, ECW is just like Raw in that no one in the back actually watches the show as it airs live. They, instead, wonder what is going on and get things from people second hand. RVD said that he wants Paul to make the match because ECW is not going to be a “place where the bigger guys get the top spot where they earned it or not”. Heyman said that RVD was running himself ragged and he didn’t want to make the match. RVD said he would do it himself and left to do so.
A Test promo aired. He’s big. He’s bad. He’s tough. And he’s coming to ECW. Tonight.
Tony DeVito came to ringside in a priest outfit. He said it’s the first time he has seen an ECW show. I guess he wasn’t watching it when he was wrestling for it years ago. He ragged on the show and the people that watched it. He said it was filth and should not even exist. We should all be ashamed for watching. If this show doesn’t improve soon, he may be right. If we enjoy this show, we are sinners. Tazz and Styles are sinners too. We are all going to burn in hell. He then told us he wasn’t a “man of the cloth” and took off his collar. He said he just did it to get a forum to rag on us. He climbed over the railing and sat down at ringside. Sandman’s terrible music hits and he came down to the ring. He took a few props from the crowd (I say few because his music stinks and people don’t react the way that they used to). FInally, he dragged DeVito over the apron and kicked his ass after asking the crowd if he should or not.
In the back, RVD broke into Show’s dressing room and asked if he was challenging him for the title. Show said yes and RVD said he liked that and slapped him. RVD left. Show grinned. I wondered if RVD wishes he would have just had a few beers on Sunday before he left for Philly.
In the back, Heyman and RVD argued where each other’s heads are at. RVD said he was on top of the world. This is where he can show he’s the best and he’s doing well. I guess he doesn’t remember yesterday. He said he needed to show he can beat Big Show. Heyman agreed and said the match was on and it’s Extreme rules. The title is on the line. Paul does a 180. Will he turn on RVD.
Next came the moment I never thought I would ever write about, Test debuted for ECW. The crowd reaction was….well… there wasn’t any. But there was for his opponent, Al Snow. Go figure. I guess the fans don’t know what they want. Snow came out with Head and Styles explained the history of why he carried it around. Fans chanted “You take steroids” at one of the workers. Only they know which one they were referring to. Test won a squash. After the match, Test punted Lita‘s baby, er Test, into the crowd. The first half hour of this show has stunk. Badly.
The wheels came off the bus next as Sabu did a promo. For those of you who weren’t around back in the day, part of Sabu’s allure was that he almost never spoke. I guess getting busted on WWE’s time will suddenly make you loquacious. Anyway, he spoke about how he was homicidal and genocidal among clips of his handiwork. At the end, he said that he was Sabu. The title match is up next.
Fertig the Vampire was shown outside of the Wachovia Center. He split blood on the camera outside.
CM Punk then debuted with a promo saying not to let his tattoos fool you. He doesn’t drink or smoke or do drugs. His addiction is wrestling (I hope he knows what show he’s on). His obsession is competition. The irony of him doing this tonight after Sabu and RVD’s getting busted (even though it’s a shoot with Punk) has to be a rib. It has to be, right? Welcome to ECW CM.
Show then came to the ring for his title match with Rob Van Dam. RVD came out next. They did long entrances and intros, which meant it had to be time for a commercial, and it was. During the long break, the two men never locked up. The bell rang when they came back from commercial. There was a “marijuana” chant. I wonder if that was for Rob’s bust of Big Show’s love of eating. Well, I don’t wonder really. Show was on the offense early as the fans chanted, “You can’t wrestle” at Show. I was waiting for them to chant, “You can get from a house show to TV without getting busted and forcing the company to change their booking plans” but they didn’t. Seriously, RVD was over with the fans and they popped for him when he made a comeback. At that point they went to a commercial. When they came back, they told us that Show was kicking RVD’s butt during the break. He still was when they came back. The announcers kept telling us that RVD was getting his ass kicked due to the brutal schedule he has kept. It got to the point where I felt like saying, “Stop trying to sell me a load of crap already”. The fans may have felt the same way because another “marijuana” chant broke out. They weren’t buying this beatdown at all. Finally, at 10:57, RVD made a comeback for a minute or two, even hitting Rolling Thunder for a near fall. RVD tried to come off the top rope but Show caught him and dumped on the floor. Tazz said there is no countout since this is an Extreme Rules match. Styles added that there is no DQ either. Show went after RVD with the ring steps but RVD kicked them into Show’s head. RVD came off the top rope with a splash to the floor on Show but the big man caught him and rammed his back into the ring. RVD tried to bring a chair in the ring but Show slapped it out of his hand and chokeslammed the champ for a two count. Show didn’t like it and wiped out the ref. Show went for a powerbomb but RVD picked the chair up from the ring and hit Show in the head with it and followed with a Van Daminator. RVD went to the top and hit the Five Star Frog Splash but there was no ref to count the pin. I bet you can ALL see what is coming next. Paul Heyman ran down and counted two but stopped before he hit three. RVD had no idea what happened and asked Heyman what was going on. Heyman laughed and left the ring as Rob was yelling at him and the fans chanted, “You sold out” at Heyman. All I could think was, “Thank God this wasn’t happening at the old ECW Arena”. Show grabbed the chair and hit the distracted RVD. Heyman came back in the ring and told Show to hit the chokeslam on the soon-to-be-former champ on the chair, which he did. He did and Heyman counted the pin. Big Show is the new ECW champ. The announcers couldn’t believe what they just saw. Me either, but for different reasons I am sure. They sold that Heyman backstabbed RVD as fans threw drinks and garbage into the ring while Heyman hugged Show.
I will apologize to anyone who didn’t appreciate my flippant comments during this report. I just couldn’t help myself. It was a bad effort, from top to bottom by WWE. I realize the circumstances that led the main event, but as late as 5 p.m. today, they were promoting that Edge would take on RVD. Instead, we got Big Show and no Edge at all. Then again, if I were Edge I would have pleaded with anyone who would listen to not be a part of this show. It was that bad.
