(Source: PWTorch.com)
WWE Raw Alternative Report
June 12 in State College, Pennsylvania
– We begin with a brief “in memory” of John Tenta.
– Paul Heyman was shown backstage standing in front of an ECW backdrop. He introduced himself to a smattering of boos. Heyman said he would address the WWE Title picture. He said there was outside interference from Edge, two referees went down, and he even counted the three count. He said it doesn’t matter that he counted the pin because anything goes under ECW Rulz. What a cop out. Why didn’t Heyman just come out in the first minute and say he heard Cena submit and get it over with? I guess we should expect to see someone pull out a gun and shoot the other person to win a title in the future. Heyman said the RVD title victory decision stands. The fans booed. Heyman said RVD would rechristen the WWE Title as the ECW Title tomorrow night. Heyman extended Edge an invitation to be at ECW’s Sci-Fi debut tomorrow night. RVD appeared and said he’s the champion. The fans booed.
– J.R. and Jerry Lawler introduced the show. Triple H is booked for a five-on-one handicap match in the “we’ve seen it eight times with Shawn Michaels” special against Spirit Squad. Cena-Edge has been booked for tonight.
– Randy Orton came out. J.R. said Orton has decided to come to Raw. Was his contract purchased? Did Teddy Long sell Orton to Raw in exchange for draft picks, wrestlers to be named later, cash, titles, or has WWE completely given up on explaining the “contracts” to Raw and Smackdown?
1 — RANDY ORTON vs. KANE
Randy landed hard European uppercuts early on. He pounded Kane down to the corner. A few fans chanted, “You tapped out” at Randy. He hit a standing drop kick to boos. Kane sat up. He dropped Randy with a big boot to the face. Kane landed straight right hands to the chin. He went up top, but Randy met him with a superplex attempt. Kane thwarted Randy’s effort then hit a top rope clothesline with help from Randy moving into position. Kane went for the chokeslam, but Randy reached the ropes to break the hold. Kane chased Randy up the entrance ramp as several pre-teen females screamed very loudly. The referee counted both men out. Randy went for the RKO on the stage, but Kane shoved him down on the metal. The imposter Kane appeared from an elevated platform. They exchanged right hands. Kane sent the imposter Kane reeling to the edge of the stage. Imposter Kane dropped Kane off the stage flat on his back onto a table down below. The table didn’t break.
WINNER: Double countout in 4:00. WWE has had more count out finishes the last three weeks of TV than they probably have had the previous three years. There was intrigue for Kane-imposter Kane the first two weeks, but the finishing “splat” on the table was about as anticlimactic as it comes. When the audience has been trained to expect special effects for the big stage-to-table spot for years, anything less won’t nudge the audience.
[Commercial Break]
– They showed several replays of Charlie Haas knocking Lillian off the ring apron. Poor Lillian. Charlie Haas took the mic in the ring. He said sometimes you make mistakes in this business and you hurt innocent people. He asked Lillian to enter the ring. J.R. said Haas isn’t a bad guy. Lillian reluctantly entered the ring. Haas said he’s sorry about what he did last week. He said it was reckless, but it was an accident. “I am sorry,” he said. Haas asked Lillian to accept his apology. Before Lillian could answer, Viscera came out. Poor Haas inadvertently got himself involved in an angle with Viscera. Viscera slowly came to the ring and admitted Haas’s apology was really sweet. He said “his lady, Lillian” might accept Haas’s apology, but he won’t. Viscera slammed Haas to the mat. Viscera pounded on Haas. Lillian showed concern. She pleaded with Viscera to let up on Haas. Instead, Viscera hit a corner splash then hit a big splash on the mat. Viscera folded his arms over his chest and stared down at Haas, who writhed in pain on the mat. Viscera smiled and walked off.
– J.R. said sometimes there is justice in the world when Triple H didn’t kiss Vince McMahon’s ass, but he kicked McMahon’s ass. They showed footage of the multiple Hunter-McMahon segments from last week.
– Coach was in an office backstage talking to stagehands. He told them that Vince McMahon was having his big “State of the WWE” address tonight. He said McMahon isn’t in a good mood tonight so everything has to be perfect.
[Commercial Break]
– They did an ECW on Sci-Fi promo then went to J.R. and Lawler, who showed disgust. Lawler said he was about to take out Tazz when Joey Styles interfered. As expected, there’s his out. Lawler talked about Sandman attacking Eugene. J.R. said he can’t condone actions. Lawler said it’s disgusting that the fans encouraged Sandman to beat down Eugene.
– Eugene, wearing bandages, was shown telling Jim Duggan that he’s worried about Duggan’s match with Umaga. Duggan said Babe Ruth wasn’t worried when he fought Godzilla on top of a building. Oh dear. Duggan did a “U-S-A” chant.
– Torrie Wilson was shown walking backstage with her dog. They announced the “first ever wet and wild” match between Torrie and Candice Michelle tonight. They have officially run out of diva match names.
– Vince McMahon was shown sitting at the end of a very long table staring to the camera. He didn’t look happy. McMahon announced ECW’s brand relaunch tomorrow night on Sci-Fi. He said Heyman stated at the top of the show that there is a new Champion named Rob Van Dam. McMahon said he has other things to discuss tonight. Yes, more important than the ECW relaunch is… “What happened to the chairman of the board last week on Raw?” he asked. He said it is one thing for there to be a Kiss my ass club, but another thing for a member to turn the tables on him and expose his “derriere” to the public against his will. “There are children who watch this show,” he said. “I want Triple H to think about that.” Great heel line. McMahon said Shawn Michaels is no longer in action and Hunter would learn his lesson that he should have learned watching HBK being dismantled. McMahon said he would dismember Triple H limb-by-limb tonight. He said it would be a gauntlet match with all five members of the Spirit Squad going against Hunter. “Tonight, after it’s all over, I assure you that Triple H will be reunited with Shawn Michaels (fans popped)…on the Highway to hell.”
[Commercial Break]
2 — TORRIE WILSON vs. CANDICE MICHELLE — First ever Wet and Wild water match
Lillian said the winner would be on the cover of the diva summer magazine. Torrie came to the ring holding her dug. “What’s the puppy’s name?” J.R. asked. “The left or the right?” Lawler asked. Candice has changed up her hair. Candice couldn’t figure out how to pump up her super soaker. “Oh, what the hell” J.R. said. Candice dropped Torrie chest-first across a pile of water balloons. “If you’re scoring at home, this match is won by pinfall or submission,” J.R. said. Candice stuffed balloons down Torrie’s shirt then hit a Vader Bomb for a nearfall. Candice dumped a water bucket on the referee. Candice missed with an elbow drop. Candice went “pectorial first” into the corner. Torrie did the stink bomb in the corner after dumping water on her chest. Torrie squirted J.R. and Lawler with a super soaker. Torrie hit a facebuster in the ring for the win. Torrie threw water balloons at J.R. and Lawler after the match.
WINNER: Torrie Wilson in 5:00. Well, it was what it was.
– They showed video clips of Trish Stratus hosting the Canadian Walk of Fame. They showed Trish kissing Pamela Anderson after performing various routines. Dan Aykroyd and Eugene Levy talked about Trish. Aykroyd said he couldn’t take Trish.
[Commercial Break]
– J.R. and Lawler discussed the controversial finish to the WWE Title match at the ECW PPV. Ross said there were two referees knocked down, blatant interference from Edge, and Paul Heyman counting the pin, yet RVD is still the new Champion. They showed footage from the Cena-RVD title match. J.R. said Cena is pissed and he faces Edge tonight. Lawler promoted Hunter-Squad.
– Squad pepped themselves up backstage. They discussed taking out Hunter just as they took out Shawn Michaels. “Tonight, it’s game over,” they said in unison.
[Commercial Break]
– Hunter came out to his full ring entrance. Vince McMahon came out and booted the referee from the match. He said he didn’t need a referee. Vince rolled footage of Squad dismantling Shawn Michaels three weeks ago to serve as a message to Hunter.
3 — TRIPLE H vs. SPIRIT SQUAD – Handicap Gauntlet match
Vince sent Mikey to the ring first to take on Hunter. Hunter ran over Mikey with a hard clothesline. Kenny was sent out by Vince next. The two Squadsters took it to Hunter early on. The fans chanted “Triple-H” then “D-X”. Hunter came back with a spinebuster on Mikey. Johnny came out third. They triple teamed Hunter in the corner. Squad rolled Hunter to the outside. A fourth Squadster ran to the ring. Squad took turns slamming Hunter’s head into the ring steps. Vince encouraged them to continue the beating. Johnny, Mikey, Kenny, and Nicky did the lift-up slam in the ring. Kenny brought a steel chair into the ring. “Take him out just like Shawn Michaels,” Vince said. “But, not on the knee. Break his damn neck.” Vince told Mitch to come on out. Mitch didn’t come out right away. He eventually came rolling out of the backstage area to the stage. The crowd popped in anticipation of something happening. Shawn Michaels walked out on stage in street clothes. The crowd exploded. He stared down Vince then hit Sweet Chin Music on Mitch. HBK stared at Vince then ran to the ring while trying to protect his knee. HBK and Hunter cleared the ring expect for two Squad members. HBK hit Sweet Chin Music then Hunter hit the Pedigree. Hunter and HBK were fired up as they went nose-to-nose. They backed up and did simultaneous crotch chops in Vince’s direction. “The arena has come unglued!” J.R. said. Amazing heat. Vince flared his nostrils in disgust. Hunter stood on the turnbuckle, pulled down his trunks, and mooned Vince. HBK did the Outsiders double index finger point at Hunter. HBK did his pose as Hunter stood over him. Vince’s indignation turned to quiet confidence. HBK did all this with a cross hanging from his neck.
WINNER: No Contest in 7:00.
[Commercial Break]
– They showed a replay of HBK-Hunter reuniting. Backstage, Squad screamed at Vince. Vince, very upset, said it would be a five-on-two match with the Squad against “that damn…D…D…D…X!”
4 — HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN (w/Eugene) vs. UMAGA (w/Armando Alejandro Estrada)
Eugene tried to give Duggan the 2X4, but Umaga intercepted it and broke it over his own head. Umaga delivered the Samoan Spike to the throat for the academic victory. Afterwards, Eugene checked on Duggan, but Umaga grabbed him and hooked him in the ropes. Armando did his introduction with crowd help. Umaga squashed Duggan’s head in the corner with the running butt bomb. Referees unhooked Eugene from the ropes. “I don’t know if anyone can stop Umaga,” J.R. said.
WINNER: Umaga in 1:00. What was that “same old” chant the ECW crowd repeated at Cena last night?
[Commercial Break]
– The See No Evil co-stars said Kane is too scary in real life – meaning his wrestling character – when he’s not acting. They said he has a tendency to take things too far.
– Mick Foley walked out to a strong reaction. The camera zoomed in on his swollen eye. “Man, have I got some great news for all of you,” Foley said. He said the swollen eye he suffered in helping vanquish ECW last night will heal up in a week. He complemented the show he put on at the PPV for his WWE fans. The fans cheered. He said the “cuddly, human muppet” Mick Foley has returned. He got the cheap pop for saying where they were. Ric Flair’s music hit. Flair strutted out in a striped suit. Foley was expressionless. Flair strutted in the ring. The fans “whooed.” Flair took the mic. Foley wanted to know what Flair was doing in his ring. Flair said he’s been waiting three years to talk to Foley. He said he saw Foley set himself on fire last night, tearing himself up with barbed wire, and bleeding, but that means nothing to him. “I want to talk about you and me,” he said. Flair said it has come to his attention that Foley has made statements about what he said about Foley’s wrestling career. “You realize that my name is Ric Flair,” he said. Flair got the cheap pop referencing Joe Paterno. He said Foley’s scenario standing up for WWE is a bunch of crap. “All you are is a glorifited stuntman,” he said. The fans whooed. Flair said for ten years, guys like himself, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, The Rock, Steve Austin, Undertaker, and Kurt Angle have wrestled their way to greatness. Flair said he’s heard for the longest time that the coolest thing they’ve seen is Foley going off the top of the Hell in a Cell through a table. “That pisses me off,” Flair said. Flair said he wrestled his way to greatness, yet Foley falls off a cage and he’s remembered for that. Foley said the people don’t care about you and Harley Race at the first Starrcade. He said the fans don’t care about Flair-Steamboat and Flair-Funk in ’89. Foley said that no matter who Flair is, the WWE fans would never consider Flair in the same league with Foley. “It drives you crazy,” Foley said. “You know more than anything else what’s really getting at you that the fact is you can do nothing about it because the glorified stuntman in the ring could rip you apart in the ring like that.” Foley did the finger snap. “Like that?” Flair asked. Flair got up in Foley’s face and told Foley to take his best shot. Foley backed out because he said his vision was too blurry and he might take out JoePa instead of some other old guy. Flair offered to pour tacks, tables, or set things on fire in the ring to get Foley in the ring. Foley said he wouldn’t let Flair have any body part of his. He said he could beat Flair at his own game in a wrestling match. He challenged Flair to a two-out-of-three falls match. Flair said he couldn’t wait to get Foley in Charlotte, by God, North Carolina. Foley said he would embarrass Flair in front of his family and friends. Flair whooed as Foley retreated. That’s what you call making up for lost time with only two weeks of TV to build up a PPV-selling match.
[Commercial Break]
– IC Champion Shelton Benjamin joined J.R. and Lawler ringside for commentary. “This is the only gold around here,” Shelton said, pointing to his belt. “That’s sad,” Lawler said. J.R. announced Shelton-Carlito-Nitro in a triple threat match for the IC Title at Vengeance. Shelton said it takes two average men to beat him.
5 — JOHNNY NITRO (w/Melina) vs. CARLITO
Nitro and Melina came out for the coveted 10:40 EST match. Carlito hit a hip toss early on. Melina stole Carlito’s apple and began seducing it. Nitro took advantage of Carlito being distracted and drop kicked him through the ropes to the outside. Melina applied a head scissors around Carlito’s neck while Nitro distracted the referee. Carlito came back with a hard slap to the chest followed by a back elbow smash and high knee lift. Nitro pulled Carlito through the ropes to the outside. Shelton took a closer look at the action. Melina distracted the referre and Shelton held onto Nitro’s arms to prevent Carlito’s backcracker. Nitro hit a back flip twisty clothesline that struck 95 percent of the mat and 5 percent of Carlito.
WINNER: Nitro in 4:00.
– Todd Grisham interviewed Mickie James backstage. Grisham said Beth Phoenix was injured last week. Mickie said it’s ironic that everyone who has a problem with her has the worst luck. Mickie said Ashley broke her leg after she called Mickie psycho. Mickie condescendingly said Ashley’s now on Smackdown as if it were comparable to being banished to a 50-seat indy show. Mickie said Trish Stratus injured herself at Mania against her and now Beth has to eat out of a straw after challenging her last week. Mickie said they grew up together, but Beth turned mean in high school. Randy Orton walked into the camera shot. He transitioned to talking about ECW. He called Angle’s victory at the ECW PPV “the biggest upset in sports entertainment history.” Randy said he faced Angle in an ECW ring and now he wants Angle at Vengeance in a WWE ring with a WWE referee. Various young females screamed.
[Commercial Break]
– We saw more clips from the Highlanders exploring New York. They looked inside a trashcan. Rory pulled out a half-eaten bite to eat.
– We saw a full replay of the DX reunion earlier in the show. J.R. and Lawler broke down the Vengeance PPV card.
– Maria was shown backstage. Lita interrupted and took the mic from Maria. She introduced Edge, who came on camera smiling. He said he changed the wrestling industry by himself. He said he beat three ECW superstars – an oxymoron, he said – then helped John Cena lose the WWE Title. Edge said they would answer Heyman’s invitation and show up at the ECW show tomorrow night. He said he would become the single greatest WWE Champion of all time when he beats RVD for the WWE Title at Vengance.
– Stevie Richards, Justin Credible, and Balls Mahoney walked through the stands to the front row of seats with tickets in hand. Either this show is going way over the five minutes of alloted overtime or Cena-Edge is going to be a very, very short main event match.
[Commercial Break]
6 — EDGE (w/Lita) vs. JOHN CENA
Edge came out with Lita. J.R. and Lawler speculated as to whether Edge and ECW were in collusion after completing some sort of back-door deal. “How did the ECW wrestlers get front row seats? Who’s pulling the strings here?” J.R. asked. John Cena’s music hit to a mixed reaction. Cena charged the ring and took down Edge. Edge ran out of the ring and Cena chased him. Cena slammed Edge into the ring steps. Edge rolled into the ring and Cena landed hard right hands. Lita ran in and jumped on Cena’s back, prompting a DQ from the referee.
WINNER: Cena via DQ in 2:00.
– Afterwards, Edge escaped through the crowd after the ECW wrestlers attacked Cena. Cena grabbed a chair and creamed Richards over the back. He jabbed Credible in the stomach then took a baseball bat-like swing and absolutely smashed Credible. Balls took a chairshot to the head. Mixed reaction. Cena took the mic and went into the ring. He started showing indignation, saying that apparently anyone can show up in ECW and make things happen. His indignation turned to a mildly psychotic smile where he said he kind of likes that. He said if anyone can show up when they want, he would participate as well. The camera zoomed in tight on Cena’s face and he said he would make an appearance at the ECW Sci-Fi debut tomorrow night to have his own celebration at the big ECW party. “And John Cena is going to have a lot fun,” he said with a smile, leaving the audience hanging as to what kind of fun he had in mind. Roughly 75 percent cheers for Cena as his music played. He saluted the crowd then walked off with the show ending 10 minutes past the top of the hour. Fun ending and, more importantly, a good sell-job for the ECW show tomorrow.
Thank you for choosing TBL!
Joe
