(Source: PWTorch.com)
ECW ONE NIGHT STAND II
JUNE 11, 2006
NEW YORK CITY, N.Y. AT HAMMERSTEIN BALLROOM
-Paul Heyman opened with a pep talk about the relaunch of ECW. Of course, loud “ECW” chants. Heyman got emotional as he talked about bringing the cult of ECW to Sci Fi. (I got in late, so I’ll be adding details at the end of the show when I have a chance to watch it.)
1 — TAZZ vs. JERRY LAWLER
Because Lawler slapped Joey Styles, Styles ran into the ring and tried to choke Lawler. Lawler reversed it and set him up for his signature piledriver. Tazz, though, intervened and choked him out.
WINNER: Tazz in 30 seconds.
STAR RATING: n/a
2 — RANDY ORTON vs. KURT ANGLE
Joey Styles and Tazz did commentary. Lots of intense chants from the ECW fans early, including “Break his ankle” and “Angle’s gonna kill you!” Angle dominated on the mat in the opening minutes. When Orton tried to ground Angle, Angle reversed it with a half nelson. The crowd chanted “You can’t wrestle!” at Orton. Styles acknowledged it. The crowd chanted “Orton swallows.” Styles said, “There are some chants from this ECW audience we will not be repeating on the air.” When Orton applied a chinlock, the crowd rightfully chanted “boring, boring.” Wrestling fans do not under any circumstances want to watch a chinlock in 2006. Ever. They showed upcoming ECW house show dates at the bottom of the screen. Angle hit a series of back suplexes at 13:00. The crowd chanted “F— you, Orton!” Angle dropped the strap and stalked Orton from behind, then hit an Ankle slam for a near fall. The crowd chanted “Break his ankle!” again. Angle applied an anklelock, but Orton flipped out of it and then gave Angle a neckbreaker for a two count. Orton went for an RKO, but Angle avoided it. Orton went for a crossbody off the ropes, but Angle rolled through for a near fall. When Angle got up, Orton met him with a clothesline. When Orton went for an RKO, Angle switched to an ankle lock. Orton turned it into a roll-up. Angle kicked out. Ankle then reapplied the anklelock and within ten seconds, Orton tapped out. When there was a “pussy” chant, Styles said something about a breed of cat. Orton took a ton of heat from fans afterward. The crowd chanted “Get the f— out!” as Orton was helped to the back.
WINNER: Angle in 16:00.
STAR RATING: ***1/2 — The crowd made this match. It was a good match elevated at least a level or two thanks to the intensity of the crowd. Orton can’t wrestle his usual Smackdown style with this crowd. Most of the ECW wrestlers won’t be scared about the crowd since most don’t use chinlocks.
-They showed a clip of New York City outside of the Hammerstein.
2 — THE FBI (Little Guido & Tony Mamaluke w/Big Wheel) vs. TAJIRI & SUPER CRAZY
Styles noted that Mamaluke has put on some weight since his last stint on TV. The crowd chanted “Welcome back!” at Tajiri. “I know you’re not used to having a play-by-play man who knows what a keylock is,” said Styles. Tazz said, “Yeah, the play-by-play guy I’m used to working with doesn’t know the names of many moves.” The crowd chanted “Nacho Libre” at Super Crazy. Styles and Tazz made comments about Tajiri being 5-7, but having a size 13 boot. Styles said, “His wife must be happy.” In the end, four-way action broke out. Guido kicked Crazy off the ring apron into the crowd. Tajiri went after both FBI members, but he fell to a double fisherman buster.
WINNERS: The FBI at 13:00.
STAR RATING: ***1/4 — Lots of good spots and nonstop action.
After the match, Big Show came out to a remake of his WWE intro song. He destroyed The FBI and fended off a dive from Super Crazy. I’m surprised the crowd didn’t chant “911” at Show, because that’s a replay of the role 911 played in the first ECW years.
-A commercial aired for the ECW debut on Sci Fi this Tuesday night.
-Styles and Tazz began to talk about the rest of the matches when JBL interrupted from the balcony. JBL began ripping on ECW. The crowd chanted “You suck d—.” JBL responded: “I see no women out here and you’re chanting about a male organ. Now tell me who’s the fruit booty.” JBL talked about punking out Blue Meanie last year. “Sounds to me like I am the king of hardcore,” he said. The crowd chanted, “Shut the f— up!” JBL said RVD wouldn’t have been a star if not for people like him and Vince McMahon. He gave Tazz a hard time about jumping. He made fun of ECW being on Sci Fi, telling the “Star Trek geeks” that they get what they wanted now. JBL congratulated Tazz for jumping to ECW because if he hadn’t, he would have been fired. He announced he is the new voice of Smackdown. “You can take your telephone book with you because I can see over the desk,” he told Tazz. He told the crowd that they paid to see him. Tazz and Styles pointed out that they actually didn’t. He told them their show sucked, called Smackdown the A-show, and then left.
3 — REY MYSTERIO vs. SABU — World Hvt. Title match
Tazz said he has had battles with Sabu, and he hopes he wins. Rey and Sabu each held chairs during Steven DiAngeles’s ring intros. The crowd booed Rey, but not vociferously. Rey had the letters “ECW” on the back of his mask. They had dueling chairs in the opening minutes and then threw the chairs at each other. Sabu launched off a chair and crashed legs-first into Rey in the corner. That prompted an “ECW” chant. Rey went for a 619 and the crowd booed his signature McMove. Sabu set up a table at ringside over the ring apron and ringside barrier. Sabu launched off a chair and springboarded of the top rope, but then landed on the floor with no apparent target or intent. Tazz and Styles didn’t know what to say. Tazz said he may have lost his balance. Sabu continues a relentless series of signature flying moves, including his guillotine legdrop. The he applied a partial camel clutch. He followed up with an Arabian facebuster. Rey dropkicked Sabu onto a table and then gave him the Drop the Dime, crashing him through a table. The crowd chanted “Holy sh–!” Styles said, “We have our first fecal chant of the evening.” Sabu did a flip legdrop onto Rey’s face, then went for an atomic Arabian facebuster, but Rey moved. Rey then kicked Sabu onto a chair and dove at Sabu, but Sabu moved. Rey landed crotch-first on the chair. Sabu threw the chair at Rey. They left the huge sign hanging from the upper deck that said, “If Cena wins, we riot.” Sabu springboarded off the top rope and then DDT’d Rey through a table set up at ringside. They crashed hard to the floor head-first. They replayed it from several angles. Scary looking move. Officials checked on btoh wrestlers at ringside. A doctor declared that they cannot continue wrestling, so the match was stopped. The crowd expressed displeasure with the finish. Rey was helped to the back. Sabu kept collapsing as he was helped to the back.
WINNER: No contest at 13:00.
STAR RATING: ***1/4 — The last move was amazing, but the no contest wasn’t satisfying. Lots of Sabu offense. Certainly the opposite of boring, but also a bit frenetic and spotfest oriented. It was what you get with Sabu a lot of the time.
-A lengthy recap segment aired to set the stage for the big tag match.
-Mick Foley came to the ring. The crowd wasn’t sure how to react to him. He said, “Okay, I admit. I sold out. I sold out Madison Square Garden. I know I said a lot of bad things about ECW. I am sorry. There was a time I liked ECW, when I respected ECW, back in the days when it was run by a visionary, back in the days when it was owned by a true creative genius. Let’s hear it for Stephanie McMahon. Long live the alliance! Long live the alliance!” Styles said, “Oh god.” Foley then introduced Edge. As Edge entered the ring, a graphic on the screen plugged Vengeance.
Edge told Foley he shouldn’t mess with the ECW idiots. He said, “This is their night. This is their Christmas. Only their Santa Claus is Jewish, fat, bald, and he gives out an endless supply of bullsh–. All you idiots are going to go home and text your imaginary girlfriendds about how good the show was. Then you’re going to go on the Internet and pleasure yourselves looking at actual pictures of my girlfriend. I think you’re all pathetic!” Lita then took some digs at Dreamer and Funk. “When I saw on Tommy’s face, I can guarantee ya’ that was more action than all of you have gotten this entire year, guaranteed. Oh Tommy, given that skank you hang around, I’m sure it was a lot better for you than it was for me.”
-Beulah walked out with Dreamer and Funk. She said: “Lita, Lita, Lita. I never thought I’d see the day that the trash that comes out of your mouth is more disgusting than the trash you usually put in it. We all know how much you like threesomes, so let’s make it three-on-three.” She called Lita a bitch and told her to put up or shut up. They were pulled apart after a slap.
4 — MICK FOLEY & EDGE (w/Lita) vs. TOMMY DREAMER (w/Beulah) & TERRY FUNK
Dreamer and Edge began what became a six-person tag. Edge tagged in Foley after a few seconds. Foley called for Funk to tag in. Dreamer tagged in Funk. Funk slapped Foley a few times. Foley turned to Edge and said, “This isn’t a good idea. I don’t think I want to be here.” Styles said it’s too late for that. Foley left the ring. Dreamer threw Edge to the floor. Funk went after Foley at ringside. Dreamer hit Edge with a “No Parking” sign, then threw a trash can into the ring. Funk and Dreamer threw the trash can at the heels. Dreamer slidekicked the trash can into Foley’s face, then threw it onto Foley at ringside. Dreamer swung a cookie sheet at Edge, but Edge ducked. Foley threw Funk into the crowd while Edge rammed a ladder into Dreamer’s head inside the ring. The crowd chanted, “F— you, Edge!” Edge went for a chair on Dreamer into a ladder in the corner, but Dreamer side-stepped Edge and then arm dragged him into the ladder. Funk wore a ladder like a propeller and swung it around, hitting both Foley and Edge. He then climbed the ladder. Edge knocked Funk to the mat. Funk landed on one of his two bad hips. Dreamer lifted Edge, so Lita hit Dreamer with a low blow. Foley and Edge jumped to ringside and slid a board covered in barbed wire out from under the ring and slid it into the ring. They lifted it and dropped it onto Dreamer. Dreamer went into convulsions. Dreamer tried to roll away, but the barbed wire stuck to his hair briefly. Edge and Foley lifted it again, but Funk tripped them and it landed on their heads instead. The crowd chanted that they wanted fire. Dreamer and Funk took turns punching Foley, and then threw him into the barbed wire board. Edge lifted and dropped Dreamer crotch-first over the ring barrier. The crowd chanted, “This is awesome! This is awesome!” (ROH fans watching at home then chanted: “You have low standards! You have low standards!”) Foley wrapped his arm in barbed wire and then punched Funk at 9:00. The crowd chanted “Terry, Terry” as he came up bleeding. Foley rubbed the barbed wire into Funk’s forehead. The women had done nothing to this point. Funk cried, “My eye! My eye!” Nobody cried, “My eye!” better than Funk. Funk was helped to the back. The crowd chanted, “We want Sandman!” Foley pulled out the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Lita legdropped the barbed wire baseball bat across Dreamer’s crotch. Tazz said, “Imagine what that feels like.” Foley pulled out Mr. Socko. He turned and put the Mandible Claw on Beulah. That set off Dreamer. Edge stopped Dreamer. Foley then put the Mandible Claw on Dreamer. Edge hit him with the spear. Edge then grabbed Beulah in the corner and bent her over while standing behind her. Lita trash-talked her. Everyone waited for Funk as he walked back to the ring with a barbed wire two-by-four. Beulah set it on fire. Funk swung and hit Foley on his stomach and then hit back. His flannel burned. Funk then knocked Foley off the apron onto the barbed wire wrapped table. Foley was sprayed with a fire extinguisher. Edge then knocked Funk off the ring apron onto Foley on the floor. Dreamer DDT’d Edge. Dreamer put Edge in a barbed wire STF. Beulah attacked Lita, prompting Styles’s “Cat Fight!” Dreamer yanked Lita off of Beulah, then gave her a Death Valley Driver, shouting, “ECW!” first. Dreamer and Beulah posed in mid-ring. Edge then wrapped Dreamer with barbed wire from behind and yanked him to the mat. Edge then speared Beulah and pinned her with her legs behing her head. Edge hip thrust her as the ref counted to three. Funk was cut free from the barbed wire with wire cutters and helped to his feet. Dreamer carried Beulah out of the ring.
WINNER: Edge & Foley in 18:00.
STAR RATING: **1/2 — I don’t really know how to rate that. It was a train wreck from an asthetic standpoint, but the crowd ate it up and it delivered what it had to and what everyone should have expected. It felt excessive and dated in certain ways, but also nostalgic.
-They showed John Cena standing backstage.
-They showed RVD shadow boxing backstage to warm-up.
-Styles and Tazz chatted at ringside about the Cena-RVD match.
5 — BALLS MAHONEY vs. MASATO TANAKA
Balls KO’d Tanaka with one stiff chairshot that dented a chair leading to the pin. Otherwise, just a brawl with a Tanaka superplex thrown in for good measure.
WINNER: Balls in 5:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4*
-Eugene came out with an oblivious smile, waving to the fans. He said Uncle Eric used to say he was as smart as an ECW fan. When the crowd booed, he asked if they were chanting “Euuuu… as in Eugene.” When they yelled “F— you,” Eugene said, “Good luck to you, too.” He read an ECW poem where he rhymed ECW wrestlers names with various words. Sandman’s music (generic version) played and he walked out threw the crowd, drinking beers on his way to the ring. He then beat up Eugene who crawled away frantically.
6 — JOHN CENA vs. ROB VAN DAM — WWE Hvt. Title match – Anything Goes
RVD got cheered and Cena got booed. No surprise. It didn’t come across as nearly as hostile, though, as predicted, but it was still pretty intense. Cena held the belt over his head and made a determined, steady walk to the ring. He stood at ringside with the belt in the air. Cena entered the ring and shadow boxed as he was introduced as “representing Raw.” He threw his hat into the crowd, and a fan threw it right back. Cena threw his shirt into the crowd, and a fan threw it back. Cena tried it four times, and each time it was thrown back. A loud “ECW” chant broke out. As the bell rang to start the match at 10:18 p.m., the crowd chanted “F— you, Cena! F— you, Cena!” The crowd chanted “You can’t wrestle” at Cena. Tazz came to Cena’s defense, sorta, by saying he may not wrestle, but he sure can fight. The crowd chanted “Whole f—in’ show!” They had a slugfest and cheered every RVD punch and booed every Cena punch. When Cena clotheslined RVD over the top rope, the crowd chanted “Same old sh–!” Cena went to the top rope and dove to the floor with a forearm. Styles said that’s not the same old from Cena. At 4:00 Cena punched RVD at ringside and rammed him into a ringside table. The crowd chanted “Overrated!” at Cena. RVD came back with a moonsault press from the stairs at ringside. RVD grabbed a chair, but Cena hit him from behind. As they brawled on the floor, they knocked over a cameraman. When RVD leaped onto the ringside barrier, Cena shoved him into the crowd. Cena held up a “F— You Cena” sign and held it over RVD’s head, then punched him. RVD came off the apron with a corkscrew legdrop onto Cena on the ring barrier. He followed up with a guillotine legdrop, then brought a chair into the ring. RVD kicked the chair into Cena in the corner and scored a two count. RVD hit Rolling Thunder onto Cena, then made the cover. Styles yelled, “This is it!” so of course Cena kicked out. Cena came back and DDT’d RVD on a chair at 11:00 for a two count. The crowd chanted, “You can’t wrestle!” at Cena. The crowd that loves Dreamer chants that with no sense of irony. Tazz and Styles spoke solemnly at Cena’s string off offense, including a catapult of RVD into a chair in the corner. The crowd chanted, “Cena sucks c—.” Cena held up his hand and they chanted, “Same old sh–!” He did the You Can’t See Me routine, then saluted RVD afteward to promote “The Marine.” The crowd chanted “Asshole! Assole!” Cena lifted RVD for an FU. RVD slipped out and hit Cena with a reverse sidekick. The crowd chanted, “RVD, RVD, RVD.” Cena caught RVD on the top rope and yanked him to the mat with a suplex. Tazz said, “Cena has arrived here!” The crowd chanted, “You still suck’ and “Die, Cena, Die!” A move looked botched, leading to the crowd calling him out with a “Cena f—ed up!” chant. RVD dropkicked Cena off the apron to the floor. Cena clutched his ribs. RVD brought a table into the ring. The crowd chanted, “Whole f—in’ show!” RVD set the table up in the corner, but Cena rolled into the ring and surprised RVD with a takedown and the STFU. RVD reached the bottom rope. Cena didn’t break it. Quiz Question: What happens in an anything goes match when a wrestler doesn’t break on five? The ref jumped onto Cena’s back and yanked him off. Cena argued at him and then clotheslined him. Cena met RVD on the top rope and superplexed him to the mat. Tazz put over Cena for impressing the fans with how hardcore he could be. It sounded like Vince speaking through Tazz. Cena KO’d RVD with the ringside steps. Tazz said Cena took the ECW audience out of its game. Nick Patrick ran to the ring replace fallen ECW ref John Finnegan. (Patrick ref’d the Mysterio match earlier.) Cena lifted RVD for an FU, but RVD held onto the top rope. Cena dumped him to the floor. Edge came out to the ring in a black jacket and motorcycle helmet. He speared Cena into a table. The crowd chanted, “Thank you, Edge!” Tazz said he was speechless. RVD returned to the ring and stood on the top rope and hit the Five-Star Frogsplash. He tried to wake up ref Nick Patrick. He was out cold. Paul Heyman ran to the ring and told RVD to cover Cena. RVD made the cover and Heyman counted to three.
WINNER: RVD at 21:00 to apparently win the World Hvt. Title.
Thank you for choosing TBL!
Joe
