(Source: PWTorch.com)
WWE Raw Alternative Report
May 29 in Tacoma, Washington
– We began with an annual Memorial Day video package tribute to the troops. The voice-over man said WWE would reflect back on a day of remembrance in honor of those who defended the right to freedom.
– Vince McMahon’s music started the live portion of the show. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introduced the show and laid out the top matches. “Triple H is going to try to kill Kenny!” Lawler screamed. Nice. Lillian introduced Vince McMahon. McMahon said he is happy to be at the show. He said that wasn’t the case several weeks ago when he wasn’t happy to see Shane McMahon suffer following a sledgehammer shot. Vince said Hunter was supposed to take out HBK, but that wasn’t the case. He snapped at the crowd, “Shut your mouth!” Vince said Shane is doing much better after suffering from migraine headaches. He said his jubilation stems from HBK being “no more.” He said HBK was taken out last week by Spirit Squad. He narrated clips of Squad taking out HBK’s knee last week. The crowd chanted “asshole” at Vince as Vince stared into the camera addressing HBK. Vince told HBK not to let the chants bother him. The fans chanted “DX.” Vince said the fans still remember him. He said HBK could have a job setting up the ring or doing timekeeper work. Vince said there’s still a feeling of emptiness inside him. He rolled footage from last week when Hunter didn’t take out HBK. “What the hell is going on in my ring?” Vince asked while narrating Hunter’s attack on Squad. Vince said, “Who does Triple H think he is?” He said there have been too many mishaps and he would show his true colors tonight against Kenny.
Vince transitioned to the G.M. position announcement. He said no one has lived up to his expectations for the position and he cannot hire anyone right now. He casually said he hired a new executive assistant, Jonathan Coachman. Coach came out in a suit. He announced a series of matches to follow on the show. John Cena would be in action. More boos tonight than in recent weeks. Coach said Cena would face a man he’s never faced before. Coach said Cena would defend the title against RVD at the ECW PPV. The crowd booed. Coach said Raw was having a Vengeance PPV in four weeks. He said there would be a #1 Contender’s match tonight between Edge and Big Show with the winner facing whoever the champion is. Coach also said there would be a title defense with Shelton Benjamin putting the IC Title on the line against Kane. “One more thing on a personal note, Mr. McMahon” Coach said. “I would like to sincerely thank you for this incredible opportunity.” Vince told Coach that he would like to see Triple H in his office right away. Vince introduced the IC Title match to follow.
1 — SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. KANE — IC Title match
Shelton walked to the ring and Kane met him with a quick uppercut beneath the chin. Kane kicked Shelton off the apron to the floor.
[Commercial Break]
Shelton had a reverse chinlock applied out of the break. During the break, Shelton slammed Kane into the ringpost to take advantage. “That was stiffer than Pat Riley’s hair,” J.R. said. And with Shelton having a chinlock applied, thousands flipped over to the end of the first half of the Heat-Pistons game. J.R. said Shelton nearly went down like the Poseidon, but he made a sudden comeback. Kane sat up after Shelton played to the crowd. Kane landed stiff right hands. He hit a sidewalk slam then went up top for a flying clothesline. Kane called for the chokeslam, but Shelton escaped with a quick rollup for a close nearfall. Shelton and Kane exchanged counters resulting in a weird swinging DDT from Shelton. Shelton followed up with a Stinger Splash, but Kane blocked a second with a chokeslam. Suddenly, Kane’s inner voice spoke over the loudspeaker as the lights dimmed red. Kane’s old music played. Out came a person dressed as old school Kane with the half-crop chest protector and red mask. The fake Kane had 1980’s greasy hard rocker hair. Kane didn’t understand what was going on. The fake Kane entered the ring and went face-to-face with Kane. He hit a chokeslam then flipped out of the ring. J.R. and Lawler laid out as the fake Kane walked out of the ring and the current Kane remained motionless in the ring.
WINNER: No Contest in 8:00. Interesting to say the least.
[Commercial Break]
– They aired an ECW PPV video promo narrated by Paul Heyman.
– Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler described the scenes from the old school Kane’s return.
– Coach asked Carlito if he knew where Triple H was. Carlito said he didn’t know where he was. Coach approached Armando Alejandro Estrada about Hunter. Armando said he didn’t know where Hunter was, but he said he would help out Vince McMahon with anything he needs. Armando watched Coach leave then Viscera grabbed Armando and slammed him into the wall. He said he would seek redemption against Umaga.
– Vince and Hunter exchanged pleasantries backstage. Coach already looks bad in his first half-hour on the job. Vince wanted to make sure there were no problems. Hunter said he doesn’t want any hard feelings between them. He said he didn’t want Kenny to take all the glory last week and the attack on Shane was an accident. Vince said Hunter could take out all five members of the Squad at the same time in his match against Kenny with the other four members in each corner. Vince said it would be a Spiritjack match. Hunter said he would destroy Kenny and the Spirit…jack…offs in his match. He told Vince he would bring a friend with him and he pulled out the sledgehammer. Hunter left and Vince watched with a confident expression.
[Commercial Break]
– Jerry Lawler said Paul Heyman would “face off” with Mick Foley tonight in the ring. The main event would be Big Show vs. Edge. Hunter vs. Kenny must be the top-of-the-second-hour match.
2 — VISCERA vs. UMAGA (w/Armando)
Lillian was smiling as she introduced Viscera. Before Viscera could get down the entrance ramp, Umaga jumped him from behind. He laid out Viscera on the entrance ramp. Umaga kicked Viscera into the ring to officially start the match. Lillian looked on with concern. Umaga hit a top rope splash. Armando broke a cigar in half for the sign of the end. Umaga drove the spike to the throat for the easy win. Lillian was very concerned.
WINNER: Umaga in 1:00. Well, they’re pushing Umaga pretty hard, but the crowd isn’t responding just yet. It feels like the first four weeks of Spirit Squad on TV where fans weren’t ready to respond to the act.
– They showed clips of See No Evil fan reactions.
– Backstage, Torrie Wilson, Beth Phoenix, and Trish Stratus – in a sling – prepared to walk to the ring. If Beth is supposed to be a crazed individual going after Mickie James with revenge on her mind, she appeared to look too normal or “WWE beautified” in this spot.
[Commercial Break]
– They aired a video promo for One Night Stand advertising John Cena vs. RVD.
3 — TORRIE WILSON & BETH PHOENIX (w/Trish Stratus) vs. VICTORIA & CANDICE MICHELLE (w/Mickie James)
Candice and Victoria shared a pre-match kiss on the lips. J.R. said Trish hasn’t been medically cleared to return to the ring, but Mickie James hasn’t been psychologically cleared, but when has that ever mattered on Raw. Torrie pulled up her trunks within the first minute and delivered a stinkface to Victoria in the corner. Victoria made the comeback and tagged out to Candice, who hit a Vader Bomb on Torrie. Candice did the Godaddy dance then dropped a standing elbow. Victoria went for a slingshot leg drop, but Torrie rolled out of the way and tagged out to the characterless Beth Phoenix. Beth cleared Victoria out of the ring and Victoria collided with Mickie on the outside. Beth hit the Michinoku Driver on Candice for the win. The heels collected themselves on the outside while the babyfaces stood off in the ring.
WINNERS: Torrie & Beth in 3:00. No reaction from the crowd to Beth since we don’t anything about her character. Once they introduce her beef with Mickie, that should change. Decent wrestling action and Beth looked good in the ring.
[Commercial Break]
– They promoted the WWE vs. ECW show on Wed., June 7 on USA.
– A second Memorial Day tribute video aired.
– Jerry Lawler was cutting down ECW during the .com portion of the show. He said Tazz used to be tough, but now he’s a “joke cracking, Jerry Lawler wannabee.” He said he doesn’t crawl around on his hands and knees with an orange towel on his head. “Who needs ECW?” Lawler asked. RVD’s music hit. He came out with the briefcase. RVD stared down Lawler. RVD put on a headset. J.R. welcomed RVD to the table. RVD said he overheard Lawler’s comments. He said Tazz had the common sense to hang up his boots when it was time unlike Lawler. Lawler asked why RVD would associate with ECW. He said he was taking a chance on being able to be himself.
– Johnny Nitro and Melina came out to debut on Raw. Ross said they were fired from Smackdown. Melina and Nitro did their OVW entrance. RVD said he had to adjust to WWE’s style when he came to WWE. Ross said Nitro would face Cena. Cena came out to a strong chorus of cheers. Lawler compared to the size of the ECW Arena to the Tacoma Dome. RVD said he knows people don’t understand ECW and he’s here to explain ECW to the masses. He said there’s a more competitive level of competition in ECW.
3 — JOHN CENA vs. JOHNNY NITRO (w/Melina) — non-title match
Lawler asked RVD why they even have a rulebook in ECW. RVD took a shot at Cena, asking why they wanted to listen to Vanilla Ice speak to them. Lawler claimed he was the only person brave enough to visit the ECW Arena. Nitro worked on Cena early on. Melina screamed. Lawler said he doesn’t call ECW supporters “fans,” as they were “produced by conjugal visits.” Cena made a fiery comeback to 80/20 fan support. Cena set up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. RVD said the energy at the ECW Arena surpasses any WWE event. Cena hit the Shuffle then the FU. Cena applied the STFU while Melina told Nitro to hold on. Nitro tapped out quickly. RVD and Lawler bantered as Cena stared down RVD. RVD dropped the headsets and walked to the apron. Nitro tried to attack Cena from behind, but Cena sidestepped him and Nitro collided with RVD. Both men flew off the apron with RVD crashing into the announce table.
WINNER: Cena in 4:00. Odd segment. Nitro theoretically benefited from being in the ring with the champion, but he didn’t look strong being defeated soundly in four minutes. Melina didn’t deliver the impact we’re accustomed to on Smackdown. RVD wasn’t anywhere near as bad as Christian was on Impact commentary last Thursday, but Lawler certainly had a step on RVD. The final image of RVD flying into the broadcast table didn’t seem like the right approach trying to build up the challenger.
[Commercial Break]
– They showed clips from the Heyman-Foley segment last week.
– Paul Heyman and Mick Foley were in the ring on opposite podiums. Foley put over Melina to a cheap pop. He addressed Heyman, saying they’re here to have a face-off. Foley pleaded guilty to being a prostitute, as Heyman charged last week. Foley said everyone in WWE does things they don’t want to do in order to get to the top. He said the only difference between the “ECW” Foley and “current” Foley is that he turned in a low-life pimp like Heyman for a billion dollar pimp like Vince McMahon. He said he’s vexed by Heyman’s formation of the second ECW PPV. Foley said Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer aren’t hardcore. Foley wished Heyman luck with his pot-smoking, porn-watching, Foley rip-offs. Heyman sarcastically said he misses that locker room. He said those comments would be more biting if Foley didn’t spend his career trying to be a Terry Funk rip-off. The crowd booed loudly.
Foley put over Funk as the greatest hardcore wrestler he ever saw. Foley said they didn’t have the guts to- . Heyman interrupted and said Foley didn’t get title shots until he pulled out a sock from his crotch to make Vince McMahon laugh. Foley said he became one of the biggest stars in the business after coming to WWE. The fans cheered. Foley said Heyman isn’t jealous of him because he sold out, but because he figured out that ECW isn’t the place to be. Foley said you either become a drunk, drug addict, criminal, or corpse in ECW. Foley called himself the greatest wrestler of all time. That will usually draw boos, but the fans mildly cheered. Heyman corrected Foley by saying that he resents Foley because he became a whore. Heyman told Foley to pay attention to the new vision of ECW. He said it won’t be the same hardcore wrestling, barbed wire, and piledriving women. He said that will be part of the formula, but it will be more than that. Heyman welcomed anyone from Raw or Smackdown to join the formula. Heyman said Vince McMahon gave him one draft pick from Raw and Smackdown. Foley said it’s obvious RVD will be Heyman’s Raw draft pick. Foley said RVD wants to be back in ECW because he was truly a…high-flyer. Foley pretended to hold a joint in his mouth.
Heyman acknowledged RVD as his choice for Raw. He went to Smackdown. Foley claimed it would be a Foley-knock off. Heyman said that was incorrect because his pick from Smackdown embodied his new vision for ECW. Heyman introduced Kurt Angle as his Smackdown pick. Angle walked out to the ring gritting his mouthpiece. Angle smashed Foley and hit the Angleslam. “Ladies and gentlemen, this could change the course of the business,” J.R. said. Well, if WWE allows ECW to do what TNA refuses to do in going all the way with the best, most innovative, most state-of-the-art wrestling in the business, this could be huge. The audience was certainly anti-ECW in this segment despite Foley’s best attempts to be over-the-top promoting himself. Heyman’s grating on-camera personality doesn’t endear him to the fans.
[Commercial Break]
– This Week in wrestling history focused on Andre the Giant. The voice-over man said Andre made his North American wrestling debut on June 1, 1971. He said Andre’s most memorable battle was against Hogan at WM 3.
– In a natural transition, Big Show’s music blared over the arena. So, to recap two out of the last three “This Week” segments, Bruno = Triple H and Andre = Big Show. Edge came out with Lita for the #1 Contender’s match. Promoting Raw in Pittsburgh next week, J.R. said it was the home of the Super Bowl champion Steelers and Bruno Sammartino. Lawler said it was also the home of Kurt Angle. J.R. called it a shock that he would join ECW.
4 — BIG SHOW vs. EDGE (w/Lita)
Show did the “frying plan slap to the chest in the corner” spot twice within the first 30 seconds. J.R. said he would waive the white flag if he had to accept those chops to the chest. Big Show pulled Lita into the ring, which allowed Edge enough time to recover and attack Show. Show recovered and dropped Edge head-first into the top turnbuckle. Show grappled Edge on top and slammed him half-way across the ring. Edge avoided a corner splash and dropped him with a drop toehold. Edge hit a swinging DDT. He went for the spear, but Show blocked him with a chokeslam attempt. Edge grabbed the referee and swung him down to the mat. Edge escaped Show and grabbed a chair. Show slammed the chair with his fist. Lita low blowed Show from behind as the referee tended to the chair. Edge slammed the chair to the throat then hit the spear. The referee came around and counted a three count.
WINNER: Edge in 3:00. Very rushed match. Considering Show hadn’t been on TV for a few weeks, the Andre lead-in worked to re-establish Show for the match. However, Show losing in three minutes was odd. He needs to be protected as a novelty drawing card.
[Commercial Break]
– The Smackdown Rebound focused on JBL having a bad day losing the U.S. Title to Lashley and losing to Rey Mysterio in a World Title match.
– Triple H was shown walking backstage with sledgehammer in hand. Vince McMahon stopped him in the hallway. Vince wanted to clear the air. Vince admired the size of Hunter’s “friend.” Vince stared at the hammer then said he had so much confidence in Hunter in his match that he didn’t think Hunter needed his friend. Hunter stared intently after Vince, who disappeared off camera with the hammer.
[Commercial Break]
– Spirit Squad did a cheer for Kenny. Kenny flew into the ring off the trampoline. They showed clips on Shawn Michaels’s knee being taken out last week. J.R. said the MRI on HBK’s knee was not good, he would need surgery, and he may never be the same again. Squad mocked HBK’s knee injury. Hunter’s music hit to a strong reaction.
5 — KENNY (w/Spirit Squad) vs. TRIPLE H — Spiritjack match
Hunter attacked Kenny with a closed fist as soon as the bell rang. Hunter tried to attack on the Jacks, but Kenny caught Hunter from behind with a double sledgehammer. Hunter whipped Kenny hard into the cornerpost. Kenny retaliated with straight shots to the forehead. Hunter came back with a high knee lift. Hunter set up for the Pedigree, but one of the Jacks pulled Hunter’s legs. Hunter fought off the Jacks and cleared the ring to stand strong. The camera focused on one fan wearing a 1997 green DeGeneration X t-shirt. Hunter called for Kenny to re-enter the ring.
[Commercial Break]
Hunter stalked Kenny in the ring out of the break. He landed a straight right hand. Mitch flew off the trampoline ringside and splashed Hunter. The Jacks attacked Hunter as the referee applied a ten count. Kenny rolled Hunter back into the ring and made a cover for a nearfall. J.R. said it would be the biggest upset of all-time on Raw if Kenny beat Hunter. Mitch choked Hunter on the middle rope while Kenny distracted the referee. Kenny missed with a shoulder block and he ate ringpost. The Jacks distracted the referee long enough for Johnny to wait an eternity to deliver the Johnny-go-round-house kick to Hunter. Kenny made a cover for a nearfall. The Jacks attacked Hunter on the outside as the fans chanted “Kenny Sucks.” Kenny warmed up the band to mock Shawn Michaels, but Hunter ducked a superkick. Hunter hit a DDT flipping Kenny over onto his back. Hunter and Kenny exchanged right hands. The Jacks pulled Hunter down onto his stomach in the corner then crotched him. They went after the knee. Kenny hit a chop block then continued the knee attack. Kenny pulled off Hunter’s kneepad revealing athletic tape. Kenny dropped an elbow. Kenny went up top for a leg drop to the knee, but Hunter shoved Nicky into the corner, causing Kenny to be crotched on top. Hunter carefully reached his feet. Hunter used the adrenaline rush to forget about the knee and land a clothesline and facebuster across his good knee. Hunter limped into a spinebuster. The Jacks tried to attack Hunter, but he cleared them out of the ring. Hunter hit the Pedigree on Kenny for the win.
WINNER: Triple H in 13:00. Good match. WWE is obviously intent on pushing Squad as a legitimate main event so this was fine for achieving that goal. Kenny held his own and Hunter was fine carrying the match. Based on the introduction of one of the first individual anti-Squad chants from the crowd in the form of “Kenny Sucks,” the tide seems to be turning towards heel heat rather than go away heat on the Squad.
Afterwards, Squad jumped Hunter. They went after the knee before attacking Hunter on the outside. Squad took turns bouncing Hunter’s head off the announce table. Squad pulled up the ring apron and told Hunter there’s no sledgehammer. Squad threatened to utilize a chair, but Hunter found a hammer underneath the timekeeper’s chair. Squad backed up. Johnny went for a chairshot, but Hunter ducked. Hunter landed a hammer shot then cleared Squad out of the ringside area. Vince came out as Hunter celebrated and limped in the ring. Vince congratulated Hunter on rising to the occasion. Vince said he had another challenge for Hunter. He said Hunter would join the Mr. McMahon Kiss my Ass club next week. Hunter dropped to his knees in pain and looked upset. McMahon smiled innocently and did a little dance to close the show.
Thank you for choosing TBL!
Joe
