[The TBL Newsletter] RAW Results (5.22.06) & More!

~~~~~The TBL Newsletter~~~~~
RAW Results (5.22.06)
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Joe, Owner
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*RAW Results (5.22.06):*
By James Caldwell, PW Torch columnist
WWE Raw Report
May 22 in Las Vegas, Nevada

– We began with clips from last week when Hunter bashed Shane’s head in. We
went to Vince McMahon backstage to address the camera. He said Shane was
saved from permanent damage because he’s a McMahon. He demanded a public
apology from Hunter tonight. “Anything other than a meaningful, sincere
apology will be dealt with swift, vengeful retaliation,” he said.

– Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introduced the show. They said HBK was booked
against Spirit Squad in a five-on-one match. Again. Cena-Masters also on the
show.

– A red cloth covered an object in the ring. Mick Foley’s music hit. He
entered the ring dressed in a suit. “Men’s Wearhouse must have had a sale,”
J.R. said. I don’t think the owner guaranteed that one. Foley told the fans
not to boo him. He got the cheap pop saying they were in Vegas. He quickly
said it wasn’t that great to be in Vegas. “Hear me out,” he said. Foley said
he has problems with people showing up in a city hoping to change their luck
with the roll of a dice or spin of the wheel. He said people should earn
their accomplishments as he did. He introduced Edge.

Edge came out with Lita, who was wearing half a shirt. Lita did a curtsey in
greeting Foley. Foley reiterated the opinion that they had the greatest
hardcore match at Mania. He said Edge isn’t like the slime of ECW. He
presented Edge with the old WWE Hardcore title belt. J.R. said that’s about
as popular as Barry Bonds hitting #714. Edge choked back tears. Lita
consoled him. Edge said he deserves everything he’s accomplished in his
career, but he can’t accept the belt. He said Foley toiled through ECW and
bingo halls to become a hardcore legend while people like Ric Flair called
him a glorified stuntman. Edge gave the belt back. Foley called Edge an
Indian giver. He said Flair earned his Mania paycheck by not getting killed
in a ladder match. Didn’t Umaga beat on Flair enough at the last PPV? Foley
said they should have a match tonight for the Hardcore Title. Edge asked the
fans if they wanted a title match. Edge instead told Lillian Garcia to
announce them as co-Hardcore title holders.

Paul Heyman walked to the ECW theme music. Not an Anaheim for Dreamer
reaction. Lawler ripped on Heyman. Heyman said there are prostitutes in the
ring. Everyone assumed he was talking about Lita. Heyman instead said Foley
is the prostitute in the ring. Heyman said Foley prostituted the fan’s love
and admiration for Edge and Lita. He said Foley prostituted Foley’s name and
legacy, but he wouldn’t let Foley prostitute the name of hardcore. Foley had
a huge scowl. Heyman said Foley is a shell of his former self. Foley said he
doesn’t see that in the mirror. He said he sees the co-holder of the
Hardcore title. Boos. “I see a WWE superstar. I see a real-life action
figure. I see the author of Bestselling books. That will be available next
spring,” he said. Boos. Foley said it’s ironic Heyman is criticizing Foley
when Heyman has nothing left. “You’re not GM of Smackdown any more. You
don’t own your own company,” he said. He told Heyman to go back to the hole
he came from. Heyman said he’s powerless. But wait. He has the power to make
a challenge. He said he’s in charge of ECW One Night Stand. Heyman
challenged Foley and Edge to put the hardcore title on the line against any
two people he could drag out of the ECW bingo hall. Foley told Heyman to get
out of his WWE building. Heyman said Lita is the only one in the ring with
any nuts. That upset Edge, who accepted the challenge. Foley pleaded with
him not to take the challenge. Edge and Foley went after Heyman, who
introduced Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk. They smashed Foley and Edge with
weapons. They knocked them down the entrance ramp to the ringside area.
Heyman smiled from the top of the stage as Dreamer stood strong in the ring
with Funk. Pretty lengthy, memorable segment. Thankfully the crowd response
wasn’t silence for ECW this week.

[Commercial Break]

– They announced the Diva Search 3. Oh joy.

– RVD came out with the briefcase. Lillian Garcia said the next match is for
the IC Title. Unless there’s a No Contest, here’s another opportunity for
RVD to lose before challenging Cena at the ECW PPV.

(1) Shelton Benjamin beat RVD via DQ in 8:00 to retain the IC Title. RVD hit
a nice suplex into a flip over pin attempt for a nearfall within the first
minute. RVD dropped Shelton with a step through kick clearing Shelton to the
outside.

[Commercial Break]

Predictably, Shelton had a reverse chinlock on RVD. 90 percent of the time
the babyface will have the advantage going into break and the heel will have
control and have a resthold applied right out of the break. Shelton
continued to ground RVD with submission stretches. RVD broke free of a
chinlock with back elbows. RVD hit martial arts kicks flooring Shelton for a
nearfall. RVD rolled up Shelton for a nearfall with a grapevine pin using
his legs around the waist. RVD hit Rolling Thunder for another nearfall.
Shelton ducked a spin kick and hit a Samoan drop taking out the referee.
Shelton retrieved the IC Title. RVD kicked the belt directly into Shelton’s
head, but the referee came to in time to see it. He called for the bell
DQ’ing RVD. Good match.

– After the decision was announced, RVD knocked out Shelton out of
frustration. He hit the Five Star on Shelton. RVD threw down the IC Title
then retrieved his briefcase. RVD gets his heat back. Good segment.

– Vince was backstage with ZZ Top. He said he beat Hunter for the WWE Title
in the same building seven years ago. (Thanks to Steve Austin’s
interference.) Candice Michelle walked in. Vince left ZZ Top to check out
Candice’s pearl necklace. They acted as if they had never seen breasts
before. Awkward.

[Commercial Break. The anti-smoking ad campaign hit a new low with a
scrawny, grubby guy discussing euphemisms for cancer with a doctor.]

– We saw another video on Shane taking a sledgehammer blow to the head.
Vince’s over-the-top wailing is still hilarious a week later.

– Vince McMahon came out. Vince said there would be a public apology
tonight. He set the stage of Hunter striking Shane with the hammer last
week. “Triple H, the public awaits,” he said. Pause. “You suck” chant from
the fans. Hunter’s King of Kings music hit. Hunter slowly walked out to the
ring. Vince said Hunter has something he needs to say to him. “Wait, before
you say anything, let me remind you of a couple of things,” he said. Vince
reminded Hunter of what HBK said about needing to move on. Vince said that
living hell continues this week against Spirit Squad. Vince reminded Hunter
that there would be retaliation against Hunter if he didn’t get the apology.
“I’m waiting for those two words,” Vince said. “Two words?” Hunter asked.
“You want two words? That works out great. I’ve got two words for you.” The
fans said, “Suck it!” Hunter paused. “I’m sorry,” he said. Vince said that’s
great. He ordered Hunter to come out to the ring for the HBK-Squad match and
crush HBK’s skull with the hammer then he would fully accept the apology.
Vince and Hunter shook hands. Hunter pulled Vince in after Vince turned to
leave. Hunter said it’s good they have an understanding. He released the
grip. Vince nodded affirmatively. J.R. said they would witness the public
execution of HBK’s career tonight with the “cerebral assassin” in Squad’s
corner. Great job of stacking the deck against the babyface HBK while
leaving a question or two in the air about whether the “cerebral assassin”
would really hold to his word or have another plan in mind.

[Commercial Break]

– J.R. said See No Evil was the third highest grossing per theater movie of
the weekend. Well, that’s better than saying it finished sixth overall.
Video aired of people reacting in theaters.

– Todd Grisham welcomed Kane to the interview set. Kane said May 19 was the
day his adopted mother was killed in a fire. Yup, there’s your storyline.
Kane said now May 19 has come and gone and he was able to hurt people in the
movie. He said he would have a match tonight where he would inflict
insufferable pain on his opponents. J.R. said it was a good thing he wore
dark pants watching the movie.

– Before the match, Paul Heyman did a voice over promo for the official
sponsor of ECW ONS. Jerry Lawler said he’s tired of the ECW content on the
show. He said he’s going to start reacting to June 11 – the day of the PPV –
as Kane did for May 19.

(2) John Cena beat Chris Masters via submission in 6:00 to retain the WWE
Title. Cena came out to a strong pop. Scattered boos from probably the
pro-ECW fans in the building. There was a sign in the stands that said
“We’ve Cena Nuff.” Nice creativity. Masters ran over Cena with a
“slobberknocker of a clothesline” within the first minute. Masters cleared
Cena to the outside. Cena returned to the ring. Masters hit an elevated
suplex. Masters called for the Masterlock. Cena blocked the hold. The kids
cheered for Cena. Cena flipped himself and Masters over the top rope to the
floor. Ross asked if either man would be able to recover.

[Commercial Break]

Cena and Masters exchanged blows in center ring. Cena hit an awkward
shoulder block before hitting a boot in the corner. Cena applied the STFU
out of nowhere and Masters tapped out. J.R. said Cena is controversial, but
his intensity is unmatched in the ring. Odd ending, but it set the stage for
the post-match.

– RVD came out as Cena celebrated with the belt. “So, champ,” RVD began. RVD
told Cena to savor his time with title while he explains something. He said
he has a shot at the title because he won the Money in the Bank match at
Mania. Thanks for the tip. RVD said he otherwise never would have been
awarded the title shot. RVD said he will probably get screwed out of what he
earned if he doesn’t take advantage of the title shot soon. He wanted the
title match where he’s more comfortable and the conditions would be
“extremely more in his favor.” RVD challenged Cena for the strap at the ECW
PPV on June 11. Cena stared at RVD in disbelief. They went nose-to-nose.
Cena backed up then RVD slapped him in the face. Cena threw a haymaker and
the fight was on. Cena knocked down RVD. Masters re-entered the ring and
Cena clotheslined him to the outside. RVD tossed Cena the briefcase when
Cena turned around. He hit the Van Daminator to a mixed reaction. RVD stared
down Cena then left the ring as the heel. Exciting start to the feud. I
don’t mind the throw down as the first interaction as long as they don’t
have some variation of the match eight times before the PPV. It’s an
interesting WWE-ECW dynamic where RVD is a heel, but Dreamer and Funk are
babyfaces while Foley and Edge are heels, but Cena is babyface.

[Commercial Break]

– A little foreshadowing as the cameras did the “Las Vegas” establishing
video and drove by a giant M&M logo on the Vegas strip.

– Carlito and Maria discussed cheating. Snitsky interrupted. He spotted a
showgirl over yonder. He sprayed mouth spray then approached the “showgirl.”
Snitsky felt the person’s feet then discovered it was Goldust. (However,
before that he, brought up killing Kane’s baby’s fetus, but he said they
were over that.) Goldust asked Snitsky what he was doing. Snitsky asked the
same. Goldust said he likes to dress up. Carlito and Maria said what happens
in Vegas stays in Vegas. They walked off together. Weird.

– Triple H was stroking his sledgehammer. HBK walked in and screamed at
Hunter for apologizing to Vince. Hunter got in HBK’s face and said he did
what he had to do. HBK said that’s not the Hunter he knows after riding up
and down the road with him. He told Hunter that he always made his own
decisions, but now he can do whatever Vince tells him to do. The camera
briefly followed HBK and we saw a random person in tights standing way off
camera range in the camera shot. The camera shifted back to Hunter who
seemed to be contemplating HBK’s approach.

[Commercial Break]

– Trevor Murdoch was in the middle of a .com promo discussing Da Vinci Code,
Tom Hanks, and See No Evil. Kane’s music hit.

(3) Kane beat Trevor Murdoch in 1:00. J.R. and Lawler spun the box office
numbers of See No Evil. Kane hit a chokeslam for the win. Lawler took a shot
at Da Vinci Code saying, “I’ve seen better film on teeth.” Afterwards, Kane
attacked Murdoch some more. He hit a second chokeslam. The fans called for
one more chokeslam. He stepped back into the ring and hit the trifecta. J.R.
said, “That match lasted about as long as Paris Hilton and Matt Leinart’s
relationship.” Kane stood in the ring as his mask spoke to him from the
video screen. The Mask said May 19 might have passed, but the pain has only
just begun.

[Commercial Break]

– We went back to May 27, 1996 when Scott Hall debuted on Nitro as the
Outsider. They showed highlights of the rise of the NWO as “part of a
movement that would change the face of sports entertainment.” Good times.
Good memories.

(4) Mickie James beat Torrie Wilson in 2:00 in a non-title match. Ross said
RVD is more comfortable in an ECW ring than a WWE ring. Foreshadowing.
Torrie hit a dropkick early on. She scored a nearfall. Lawler said you can’t
make someone love you, you can only stalk them until they give in. Mickie
made her comeback with clubbing right hands to the head. Mickie hit her
elevated DDT for the pin. J.R. said Mickie might be bi-polar.

– Afterwards, Trish Stratus‘s music hit to a strong pop. Trish came out in a
sling. She said Mickie doesn’t have to worry about Beth Phoenix attacking
Mickie illegally. She said Beth could do so legally now because she’s now a
WWE contracted wrestler. Mickie backed out of the ring and walked into
clubbing right hands from Beth, who was waiting for her on the outside.
Mickie ran out to the crowd. Beth gave chase. Trish looked on from the
stage. Interesting to see where they go with this as we find out what Mickie
did to Beth to make her so upset.

[Commercial Break]

– Viscera was in the ring. He said he has some big news. He addressed
Lillian Garcia. Oh no, here we go again. He said they’ve had their
differences, but he’s ready to settle down. Viscera told Lillian to bring
her sexy self into the ring. Lillian walked into the ring and reminded
Viscera that the last time they were in Vegas, Vis dumped her for
Godfather’s hos. “My bad,” Viscera said. He reached into his pants and
pulled out a cheeseburger. He said they could go to a chapel and get
married. He said he could come home to her and her home cooking every night.
Viscera said he would give Lillian his love every night. Lawler nearly threw
up in his mouth. Vis got down on one knee and proposed. Lillian didn’t
answer. Armando Alejandro Estrada interrupted. He said their kids would be
scary. Estrada said before Vis could get his action, he had someone who
wanted to get some action. He brought out Umaga.

Viscera cut off Umaga ringside. They exchanged blows. Viscera ran over Umaga
with a right hand. Viscera missed with a splash near the ringpost and Umaga
landed blows to the head. Viscera rolled into the ring as Estrada directed
traffic. Umaga ran off the apron and splashed Viscera ringside. Umaga drove
the spike to the throat. He got his shine in the ring as Viscera rolled
around on the ground. There was something different this week about Umaga
where he made it over one of the many obstacles to being taken seriously as
a main eventer. Maybe it was squashing a legit big man.

– They aired clips of various wrestlers talking about their favorite scene
from See No Evil. Kane described poking someone’s eyes out. J.R. said it was
a shocking movie.

– Spirit Squad walked backstage. They approached Hunter, who was holding the
hammer. Johnny told Hunter that Vince told them to tell Hunter to stay
backstage and watch the match. They went for a cheer, but Hunter wanted no
part of it. Squad did a cheer to the end of HBK then they left for the ring
whooping it up. Hunter showed no reaction.

[Commercial Break with an ECW PPV promo touting Benoit, Funk, and RVD.]

– Spirit Squad came out for the main event. Squad flipped through the ropes
into the ring. Shawn Michaels came to the ring with a chair in hand. J.R.
said it could be the last time we see HBK wrestling in the ring. Before the
match began, Vince came out. He told the referee to leave and take the
chair. It will be interesting to see how this quarter hour does against the
overtime period of Spurs-Mavericks Game Seven.

Kenny & Mikey & Nicky & Johnny & Mitch jumped HBK after the bell rang for an
unofficial match. J.R. said Squad would be arrested for a mugging if this
attack happened outside of the ring. Squad did the lift-up slam focusing on
HBK’s back. Johnny did a back flip onto HBK. Kenny played copy-cat. Vince
looked on with a smile. Mitch dropped a leg to the throat. Squad hit a
double-team suplex. Mikey dropped an elbow from the second rope. Squad got
down on all knees to form a pyramid. Johnny ran off the pyramid for a corner
splash. Mikey went for a chair shot, but HBK cut him off with a boot to the
gut. He flipped a Squadster over the top rope head-first into the
trampoline. Sweet spot. HBK made his comeback cleaning the ring. Vince
gulped. HBK hit a top rope elbow drop. HBK hit successive Sweet Chin Music
shots before Mikey caught HBK’s knee with a sick chairshot as he went for a
third SCM. Vince’s confident smile returned. Squad worked on the left knee.
They ripped off HBK’s pant leg and worked on the exposed knee. “Triple H!”
the fans chanted. “This is nothing but human torture,” Ross said. Squad
placed HBK’s left knee inside a steel chair. Kenny hit his elevated dropkick
directly onto the chair. Vince raised his arms in celebration. He took the
mic and told Hunter to come out and finish the job. He told Hunter to bash
HBK’s skull.

Hunter walked out on stage. He slowly walked to the ring. Ross and Lawler
were somber. Hunter stared into the crowd. He told Squad to hold up HBK.
Kenny stole the hammer from Hunter, who took a while to warm up. Kenny said
he would take care of it. Hunter stood in the way. Kenny backed up. He
charged again. Hunter caught him with a spinebuster. The Squad fed Hunter
for knock down punches. Hunter tossed Squad members out of the ring before
hitting the Pedigree. Hunter ripped off his t-shirt as the crowd exploded.
HBK writhed in pain in the corner holding his left knee. Vince wasn’t
pleased. The show closed with Hunter staring at Vince from the ring while
Vince stared back. So much heat on this show-closing moment. Another great
tease.

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*Columns:*

*Child of Time*
By: James Robson
childoftime at hotmail.co.uk

I Love the 80s
The 1980’s were a great time for the wrestling industry, Hulk Hogan became
the American Hero, meanwhile Roddy Piper went on to become the global
villain, we would all be really excited, to see an Andrea the Giant match
although he was a horrible wrestler, Macho Man was the best in-ring
technical wrestler of the decade, the Tag Team division meant something,
Bobby ‘the Brain’ Henan was the manager of the decade and it has the most
important match in wrestling history, Andrea V Hogan at ‘Wrestlemania
Three’.

It was the era of ‘Hulk Hogan’, people cheered for Hogan, no matter what;
however I feel that there are many reasons why Hogan was heavily over with
the fans of the era. The most important thing is that it was the era of the
‘Cold War’, patriotism was high in both America and Russia amongst the local
populous. While Hogan having the all American gimmick certainly did fall to
his favour, his first title win from the Iron Sheik during the Iranian
hostage crisis, his beach blonde hair and his carrying of the American flag
on his way to the ring and his theme music that would reassure his loyalty
to the American fans. However, for one to argue that it was his Americaness
that made him over, is not fair. The 1980s were also the era of the hard
bodied hero, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were popular
cultural icons. However it was also Hogan vocal talents and charisma that
had a part in his success as well. Although Hogan was a very one dimensional
character, like all the other characters of the 1980s, unlike in the 1990s
where we would see depth in wrestling characters, such as Bret Hart and
Steve Austin. However, in the 1980s Hogan’s one dimensional character was
over.

The reason that this one dimensional character was the biggest draw, was for
the exact reason, Hulk Hogan was the 1980s icon, because he was a one
dimensional character who was simple to understand and fought for good,
including the other aspects of his persona as mentioned above. The WWE, at
that time was part of children’s culture, it’s main audiences were children.

Of course a child can not go to a wrestling arena by her or himself,
naturally an adult had to always accompany the child to the arena and buy an
extra ticket.

Lately many wrestling pundits have been split on John Cena, some love him
while others detest him, I come in the latter. However, it is clear from the
push Cena, has received as of late, that the WWE is trying to make Cena the
next icon of wrestling. As I believe that the WWE is trying to aim
themselves at a market of 18-34 year old males, this is where the problem
arises. Cena’s character is to one dimensional, but unlike Hogan who was
aimed upon children, Cena’s target audience is more mature. The first
problem is that the character has no appeal to the 18-35 year old
demographic, the WWE is after, the reason for this is because, every week
Cena would say the same promos but against a different opponent, also the
way he dresses and the way he acts in the ring is not appealable to 18-35
years olds, the character of Cena and ‘Chain Gang Movement’, itself is aimed
upon the younger members of the audience, and lines such as ‘You can’t see
me’ and ‘Five knuckle Shuffle’ are very insulting to the mature fans
intelligence. Unlike the 1980s, today’s wrestling audiences is a more
knowledgeable one, who are interested in great entertainment yet also want
to see somebody who can deliver good matches. Most of today’s wrestling fans
are used to having people like HHH, Latino Heat, Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle
as world champion, people that can wrestle. I feel in order for Cena to
improve on his popularity,he needs to change his wrestling techniques and
aim himself at the more mature audience of wrestling, that make up a large
part of the WWE fan base. At first Cena, was liked, this is due to the fact,
he brought in something new, that was never done before him. A wrestler,
that did all his promos in Rap, while Emenem was the global icon for youth
culture. It worked, Cena promo raps and new image was enjoyed by all, but it
got boring, once one realizes he is not gifted in the ring and his promos
are all similar.

While, I was conversing on the 1980s, I realized that wrestling has greatly
improved in almost all aspects from that era, although I am a huge fan of
the era. Wrestlers can wrestle, there are so many different type of matches
now, we see blood, the storylines have greatly improved. However, the Tag
Team division has been on a low since the end of the era. Today, a tag team
is not even expected to be together for over a year by the fans, The tag
titles are now a way to promote individuals who need a boost in their career
and then they are quickly moved to the singles division. It is almost as if
the creative team sits there and puts a tag team and see who in the team
gains popularity and puts him in the singles division. I guess the WWE is
all about individualism today, an example would be Murdoch, who just entered
the company, won the tag titles and now is after the IC gold, within the
space of sex months.

Back in the 1980s Tag Teams use to stay together for some time, three or
four year or even careers together, such as The Nasty Boys. The tag team,
matches were given time in the programming to have good matches, it was
about two wrestlers working together as a group and winning the titles as a
group, The Hart Foundation would work as group and have good matches with
the likes of Demolition and British Bulldogs. Today, the tag team division
gains little interest due to tag teams not working as a group, this is
because they know that within a year they will be split up and the better of
the two would be given a push, but the other aspect that put tag teams down
is that sometimes, you would have two random individuals hold the titles,
such as Big Show and Kane, who are not even tag wrestlers, back in the
1980s, the Bulldogs, Hart Foundation and Demolished, were all tag team
wrestlers.

I hope you enjoyed this sample column of me comparing what wrestling was
like in the 1980s and how it has changed in both single and tag team
competition. As a fan of 1980s wrestling and current wrestling, wrestling in
the 1980s, was children’s culture, most wrestlers could not wrestle to
contemporary standards, the characters were one dimensional, they had less
match types, but I don’t care I love the era, it was one of the best times
to be a wrestling fan along with Raw and Nitro feud.

James Robson
childoftime at hotmail.co.uk

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