(Credit: PWTorch.com)
By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
WWE Raw Alternative Report
May 22 in Las Vegas, Nevada
– We began with clips from last week when Hunter bashed Shane’s head in. We went to Vince McMahon backstage to address the camera. He said Shane was saved from permanent damage because he’s a McMahon. He demanded a public apology from Hunter tonight. “Anything other than a meaningful, sincere apology will be dealt with swift, vengeful retaliation,” he said.
– Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introduced the show. They said HBK was booked against Spirit Squad in a five-on-one match. Again. Cena-Masters also on the show.
– A red cloth covered an object in the ring. Mick Foley’s music hit. He entered the ring dressed in a suit. “Men’s Wearhouse must have had a sale,” J.R. said. I don’t think the owner guaranteed that one. Foley told the fans not to boo him. He got the cheap pop saying they were in Vegas. He quickly said it wasn’t that great to be in Vegas. “Hear me out,” he said. Foley said he has problems with people showing up in a city hoping to change their luck with the roll of a dice or spin of the wheel. He said people should earn their accomplishments as he did. He introduced Edge.
Edge came out with Lita, who was wearing half a shirt. Lita did a curtsey in greeting Foley. Foley reiterated the opinion that they had the greatest hardcore match at Mania. He said Edge isn’t like the slime of ECW. He presented Edge with the old WWE Hardcore title belt. J.R. said that’s about as popular as Barry Bonds hitting #714. Edge choked back tears. Lita consoled him. Edge said he deserves everything he’s accomplished in his career, but he can’t accept the belt. He said Foley toiled through ECW and bingo halls to become a hardcore legend while people like Ric Flair called him a glorified stuntman. Edge gave the belt back. Foley called Edge an Indian giver. He said Flair earned his Mania paycheck by not getting killed in a ladder match. Didn’t Umaga beat on Flair enough at the last PPV? Foley said they should have a match tonight for the Hardcore Title. Edge asked the fans if they wanted a title match. Edge instead told Lillian Garcia to announce them as co-Hardcore title holders.
Paul Heyman walked to the ECW theme music. Not an Anaheim for Dreamer reaction. Lawler ripped on Heyman. Heyman said there are prostitutes in the ring. Everyone assumed he was talking about Lita. Heyman instead said Foley is the prostitute in the ring. Heyman said Foley prostituted the fan’s love and admiration for Edge and Lita. He said Foley prostituted Foley’s name and legacy, but he wouldn’t let Foley prostitute the name of hardcore. Foley had a huge scowl. Heyman said Foley is a shell of his former self. Foley said he doesn’t see that in the mirror. He said he sees the co-holder of the Hardcore title. Boos. “I see a WWE superstar. I see a real-life action figure. I see the author of Bestselling books. That will be available next spring,” he said. Boos. Foley said it’s ironic Heyman is criticizing Foley when Heyman has nothing left. “You’re not GM of Smackdown any more. You don’t own your own company,” he said. He told Heyman to go back to the hole he came from. Heyman said he’s powerless. But wait. He has the power to make a challenge. He said he’s in charge of ECW One Night Stand. Heyman challenged Foley and Edge to put the hardcore title on the line against any two people he could drag out of the ECW bingo hall. Foley told Heyman to get out of his WWE building. Heyman said Lita is the only one in the ring with any nuts. That upset Edge, who accepted the challenge. Foley pleaded with him not to take the challenge. Edge and Foley went after Heyman, who introduced Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk. They smashed Foley and Edge with weapons. They knocked them down the entrance ramp to the ringside area. Heyman smiled from the top of the stage as Dreamer stood strong in the ring with Funk. Pretty lengthy, memorable segment. Thankfully the crowd response wasn’t silence for ECW this week.
[Commercial Break]
– They announced the Diva Search 3. Oh joy.
– RVD came out with the briefcase. Lillian Garcia said the next match is for the IC Title. Unless there’s a No Contest, here’s another opportunity for RVD to lose before challenging Cena at the ECW PPV.
(1) Shelton Benjamin beat RVD via DQ in 8:00 to retain the IC Title. RVD hit a nice suplex into a flip over pin attempt for a nearfall within the first minute. RVD dropped Shelton with a step through kick clearing Shelton to the outside.
[Commercial Break]
Predictably, Shelton had a reverse chinlock on RVD. 90 percent of the time the babyface will have the advantage going into break and the heel will have control and have a resthold applied right out of the break. Shelton continued to ground RVD with submission stretches. RVD broke free of a chinlock with back elbows. RVD hit martial arts kicks flooring Shelton for a nearfall. RVD rolled up Shelton for a nearfall with a grapevine pin using his legs around the waist. RVD hit Rolling Thunder for another nearfall. Shelton ducked a spin kick and hit a Samoan drop taking out the referee. Shelton retrieved the IC Title. RVD kicked the belt directly into Shelton’s head, but the referee came to in time to see it. He called for the bell DQ’ing RVD. Good match.
– After the decision was announced, RVD knocked out Shelton out of frustration. He hit the Five Star on Shelton. RVD threw down the IC Title then retrieved his briefcase. RVD gets his heat back. Good segment.
– Vince was backstage with ZZ Top. He said he beat Hunter for the WWE Title in the same building seven years ago. (Thanks to Steve Austin’s interference.) Candice Michelle walked in. Vince left ZZ Top to check out Candice’s pearl necklace. They acted as if they had never seen breasts before. Awkward.
[Commercial Break. The anti-smoking ad campaign hit a new low with a scrawny, grubby guy discussing euphemisms for cancer with a doctor.]
– We saw another video on Shane taking a sledgehammer blow to the head. Vince’s over-the-top wailing is still hilarious a week later.
– Vince McMahon came out. Vince said there would be a public apology tonight. He set the stage of Hunter striking Shane with the hammer last week. “Triple H, the public awaits,” he said. Pause. “You suck” chant from the fans. Hunter’s King of Kings music hit. Hunter slowly walked out to the ring. Vince said Hunter has something he needs to say to him. “Wait, before you say anything, let me remind you of a couple of things,” he said. Vince reminded Hunter of what HBK said about needing to move on. Vince said that living hell continues this week against Spirit Squad. Vince reminded Hunter that there would be retaliation against Hunter if he didn’t get the apology. “I’m waiting for those two words,” Vince said. “Two words?” Hunter asked. “You want two words? That works out great. I’ve got two words for you.” The fans said, “Suck it!” Hunter paused. “I’m sorry,” he said. Vince said that’s great. He ordered Hunter to come out to the ring for the HBK-Squad match and crush HBK’s skull with the hammer then he would fully accept the apology. Vince and Hunter shook hands. Hunter pulled Vince in after Vince turned to leave. Hunter said it’s good they have an understanding. He released the grip. Vince nodded affirmatively. J.R. said they would witness the public execution of HBK’s career tonight with the “cerebral assassin” in Squad’s corner. Great job of stacking the deck against the babyface HBK while leaving a question or two in the air about whether the “cerebral assassin” would really hold to his word or have another plan in mind.
[Commercial Break]
– J.R. said See No Evil was the third highest grossing per theater movie of the weekend. Well, that’s better than saying it finished sixth overall. Video aired of people reacting in theaters.
– Todd Grisham welcomed Kane to the interview set. Kane said May 19 was the day his adopted mother was killed in a fire. Yup, there’s your storyline. Kane said now May 19 has come and gone and he was able to hurt people in the movie. He said he would have a match tonight where he would inflict insufferable pain on his opponents. J.R. said it was a good thing he wore dark pants watching the movie.
– Before the match, Paul Heyman did a voice over promo for the official sponsor of ECW ONS. Jerry Lawler said he’s tired of the ECW content on the show. He said he’s going to start reacting to June 11 – the day of the PPV – as Kane did for May 19.
(2) John Cena beat Chris Masters via submission in 6:00 to retain the WWE Title. Cena came out to a strong pop. Scattered boos from probably the pro-ECW fans in the building. There was a sign in the stands that said “We’ve Cena Nuff.” Nice creativity. Masters ran over Cena with a “slobberknocker of a clothesline” within the first minute. Masters cleared Cena to the outside. Cena returned to the ring. Masters hit an elevated suplex. Masters called for the Masterlock. Cena blocked the hold. The kids cheered for Cena. Cena flipped himself and Masters over the top rope to the floor. Ross asked if either man would be able to recover.
[Commercial Break]
Cena and Masters exchanged blows in center ring. Cena hit an awkward shoulder block before hitting a boot in the corner. Cena applied the STFU out of nowhere and Masters tapped out. J.R. said Cena is controversial, but his intensity is unmatched in the ring. Odd ending, but it set the stage for the post-match.
– RVD came out as Cena celebrated with the belt. “So, champ,” RVD began. RVD told Cena to savor his time with title while he explains something. He said he has a shot at the title because he won the Money in the Bank match at Mania. Thanks for the tip. RVD said he otherwise never would have been awarded the title shot. RVD said he will probably get screwed out of what he earned if he doesn’t take advantage of the title shot soon. He wanted the title match where he’s more comfortable and the conditions would be “extremely more in his favor.” RVD challenged Cena for the strap at the ECW PPV on June 11. Cena stared at RVD in disbelief. They went nose-to-nose. Cena backed up then RVD slapped him in the face. Cena threw a haymaker and the fight was on. Cena knocked down RVD. Masters re-entered the ring and Cena clotheslined him to the outside. RVD tossed Cena the briefcase when Cena turned around. He hit the Van Daminator to a mixed reaction. RVD stared down Cena then left the ring as the heel. Exciting start to the feud. I don’t mind the throw down as the first interaction as long as they don’t have some variation of the match eight times before the PPV. It’s an interesting WWE-ECW dynamic where RVD is a heel, but Dreamer and Funk are babyfaces while Foley and Edge are heels, but Cena is babyface.
[Commercial Break]
– A little foreshadowing as the cameras did the “Las Vegas” establishing video and drove by a giant M&M logo on the Vegas strip.
– Carlito and Maria discussed cheating. Snitsky interrupted. He spotted a showgirl over yonder. He sprayed mouth spray then approached the “showgirl.” Snitsky felt the person’s feet then discovered it was Goldust. (However, before that he, brought up killing Kane’s baby’s fetus, but he said they were over that.) Goldust asked Snitsky what he was doing. Snitsky asked the same. Goldust said he likes to dress up. Carlito and Maria said what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. They walked off together. Weird.
– Triple H was stroking his sledgehammer. HBK walked in and screamed at Hunter for apologizing to Vince. Hunter got in HBK’s face and said he did what he had to do. HBK said that’s not the Hunter he knows after riding up and down the road with him. He told Hunter that he always made his own decisions, but now he can do whatever Vince tells him to do. The camera briefly followed HBK and we saw a random person in tights standing way off camera range in the camera shot. The camera shifted back to Hunter who seemed to be contemplating HBK’s approach.
[Commercial Break]
– Trevor Murdoch was in the middle of a .com promo discussing Da Vinci Code, Tom Hanks, and See No Evil. Kane’s music hit.
(3) Kane beat Trevor Murdoch in 1:00. J.R. and Lawler spun the box office numbers of See No Evil. Kane hit a chokeslam for the win. Lawler took a shot at Da Vinci Code saying, “I’ve seen better film on teeth.” Afterwards, Kane attacked Murdoch some more. He hit a second chokeslam. The fans called for one more chokeslam. He stepped back into the ring and hit the trifecta. J.R. said, “That match lasted about as long as Paris Hilton and Matt Leinart’s relationship.” Kane stood in the ring as his mask spoke to him from the video screen. The Mask said May 19 might have passed, but the pain has only just begun.
[Commercial Break]
– We went back to May 27, 1996 when Scott Hall debuted on Nitro as the Outsider. They showed highlights of the rise of the NWO as “part of a movement that would change the face of sports entertainment.” Good times. Good memories.
(4) Mickie James beat Torrie Wilson in 2:00 in a non-title match. Ross said RVD is more comfortable in an ECW ring than a WWE ring. Foreshadowing. Torrie hit a dropkick early on. She scored a nearfall. Lawler said you can’t make someone love you, you can only stalk them until they give in. Mickie made her comeback with clubbing right hands to the head. Mickie hit her elevated DDT for the pin. J.R. said Mickie might be bi-polar.
– Afterwards, Trish Stratus‘s music hit to a strong pop. Trish came out in a sling. She said Mickie doesn’t have to worry about Beth Phoenix attacking Mickie illegally. She said Beth could do so legally now because she’s now a WWE contracted wrestler. Mickie backed out of the ring and walked into clubbing right hands from Beth, who was waiting for her on the outside. Mickie ran out to the crowd. Beth gave chase. Trish looked on from the stage. Interesting to see where they go with this as we find out what Mickie did to Beth to make her so upset.
[Commercial Break]
– Viscera was in the ring. He said he has some big news. He addressed Lillian Garcia. Oh no, here we go again. He said they’ve had their differences, but he’s ready to settle down. Viscera told Lillian to bring her sexy self into the ring. Lillian walked into the ring and reminded Viscera that the last time they were in Vegas, Vis dumped her for Godfather’s hos. “My bad,” Viscera said. He reached into his pants and pulled out a cheeseburger. He said they could go to a chapel and get married. He said he could come home to her and her home cooking every night. Viscera said he would give Lillian his love every night. Lawler nearly threw up in his mouth. Vis got down on one knee and proposed. Lillian didn’t answer. Armando Alejandro Estrada interrupted. He said their kids would be scary. Estrada said before Vis could get his action, he had someone who wanted to get some action. He brought out Umaga.
Viscera cut off Umaga ringside. They exchanged blows. Viscera ran over Umaga with a right hand. Viscera missed with a splash near the ringpost and Umaga landed blows to the head. Viscera rolled into the ring as Estrada directed traffic. Umaga ran off the apron and splashed Viscera ringside. Umaga drove the spike to the throat. He got his shine in the ring as Viscera rolled around on the ground. There was something different this week about Umaga where he made it over one of the many obstacles to being taken seriously as a main eventer. Maybe it was squashing a legit big man.
– They aired clips of various wrestlers talking about their favorite scene from See No Evil. Kane described poking someone’s eyes out. J.R. said it was a shocking movie.
– Spirit Squad walked backstage. They approached Hunter, who was holding the hammer. Johnny told Hunter that Vince told them to tell Hunter to stay backstage and watch the match. They went for a cheer, but Hunter wanted no part of it. Squad did a cheer to the end of HBK then they left for the ring whooping it up. Hunter showed no reaction.
[Commercial Break with an ECW PPV promo touting Benoit, Funk, and RVD.]
– Spirit Squad came out for the main event. Squad flipped through the ropes into the ring. Shawn Michaels came to the ring with a chair in hand. J.R. said it could be the last time we see HBK wrestling in the ring. Before the match began, Vince came out. He told the referee to leave and take the chair. It will be interesting to see how this quarter hour does against the overtime period of Spurs-Mavericks Game Seven.
Kenny & Mikey & Nicky & Johnny & Mitch jumped HBK after the bell rang for an unofficial match. J.R. said Squad would be arrested for a mugging if this attack happened outside of the ring. Squad did the lift-up slam focusing on HBK’s back. Johnny did a back flip onto HBK. Kenny played copy-cat. Vince looked on with a smile. Mitch dropped a leg to the throat. Squad hit a double-team suplex. Mikey dropped an elbow from the second rope. Squad got down on all knees to form a pyramid. Johnny ran off the pyramid for a corner splash. Mikey went for a chair shot, but HBK cut him off with a boot to the gut. He flipped a Squadster over the top rope head-first into the trampoline. Sweet spot. HBK made his comeback cleaning the ring. Vince gulped. HBK hit a top rope elbow drop. HBK hit successive Sweet Chin Music shots before Mikey caught HBK’s knee with a sick chairshot as he went for a third SCM. Vince’s confident smile returned. Squad worked on the left knee. They ripped off HBK’s pant leg and worked on the exposed knee. “Triple H!” the fans chanted. “This is nothing but human torture,” Ross said. Squad placed HBK’s left knee inside a steel chair. Kenny hit his elevated dropkick directly onto the chair. Vince raised his arms in celebration. He took the mic and told Hunter to come out and finish the job. He told Hunter to bash HBK’s skull.
Hunter walked out on stage. He slowly walked to the ring. Ross and Lawler were somber. Hunter stared into the crowd. He told Squad to hold up HBK. Kenny stole the hammer from Hunter, who took a while to warm up. Kenny said he would take care of it. Hunter stood in the way. Kenny backed up. He charged again. Hunter caught him with a spinebuster. The Squad fed Hunter for knock down punches. Hunter tossed Squad members out of the ring before hitting the Pedigree. Hunter ripped off his t-shirt as the crowd exploded. HBK writhed in pain in the corner holding his left knee. Vince wasn’t pleased. The show closed with Hunter staring at Vince from the ring while Vince stared back. So much heat on this show-closing moment. Another great tease.
