~~~~~The TBL Newsletter~~~~~
WWE Judgment Day 2006 Results
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*Judgment Day Results:*
*Results are from PowerWrestling.com
WWE Judgment Day Results – 05/21/06
Phoenix, Arizona
Report By Carl Walsh
WWE Judgment Day Opener:
Judgment Day opened up with a video package looking at tonight’s stop
matches before the fireworks went off in the arena as Michael Cole and Tazz
welcomed us to the show!
WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Referee: Jim Korderas
Brian Kendrick and Paul London vs. MNM (c)
The music of MNM hit in the arena as Melina led Nitro and Mercury to the
ring as the WWE Tag Team Champions, and they are set to defend against a
team they have not been able to defeat in Brian Kendrick and Paul London.
The start:
Nitro and London kicked things off with a lock up and Nitro backed London to
the corner and then shoved London. London shoved back and then they locked
up again and Nitro grabbed a side headlock. London sent him to the ropes but
Nitro came back with a shoulder block. MNM taunted the crowd before Nitro
grabbed another side headlock. London sent him to the ropes and Nitro again
hit a shoulder block. Another rope run and London tripped Nitro and he
landed face first on the mat, and then London hit an arm drag before tagging
in Kendrick.
Mid-match notes:
Kendrick quickly tagged back out and London came from the top with a axe
handle. Kendrick tagged back in and he and London hit a double clothesline
on Nitro but Nitro came back and tagged in Mercury. Mercury worked Kendrick
over but Kendrick nailed an up and under in the corner and then a pair of
hip tosses for two. Kendrick nailed a deep arm drag and then locked in an
arm bar on Mercury. London tagged in and they sent Mercury to the ropes and
hit a double hip toss and then stereo nip ups before knocking Nitro off the
apron. Kendrick charged at London and London back dropped him into a hilo on
MNM on the outside. Mercury was sent back inside and London went for a cross
body but Mercury moved. Mercury tagged in Nitro who stomped away at London
while Mercury held him.
MNM hit a double gutbuster on London as Melina screamed on in approval on
the outside. Mercury hit some right hands and then distracted the referee
allowing Melina to lock in a headscissors on the apron. Mercury locked in a
rear chin lock on London as the crowd got behind him. London fought out and
then charged at Mercury and they collided. Both men made the tag and
Kendrick nailed a series of forearms and clotheslines on MNM. Kendrick hit a
running forearm in the corner and then Nitro hit a hot shot on Kendrick. MNM
hit the Snapshot and covered but London made the save out of nowhere.
Mercury sent London to the outside and Nitro covered Kendrick but he kicked
out. Nitro tossed Kendrick to the outside and then Mercury dropped him jaw
first on the apron. Mercury tossed Kendrick back inside and Nitro covered
for two.
Nitro locked in a rear chin lock on Kendrick but he fought out and then
Nitro went for a suplex but Kendrick got a roll up but the referee is
distracted with Mercury. Mercury tagged in and they nailed a double team on
Kendrick. Mercury went for a suplex and nailed it, delayed style, for two.
Mercury tossed Kendrick to the outside and distracted the referee while
Melina put the boots in. Back inside and Mercury locked in a rear chin lock
before dropping an elbow. Mercury sent Kendrick head first into Nitro’s boot
and then made the tag and Nitro covered for two and then hammered away with
right hands. Nitro sent Kendrick into Mercury’s boot in the corner and then
made the tag. Mercury locked in another rear chin lock on Kendrick as the
fans rallied behind him. Kendrick fought out and Kendrick fought off MNM and
made the tag. London came in with forearms and right hands to MNM and then
hit a spinning back elbow on Nitro. London sent Nitro to the corner and hit
a running forearm and then went for the same on Mercury but he got his boot
up. MNM went for a double clothesline but London came back clotheslining
both men down and covered for two.
The Finish:
London was sent to the apron and hit a dropsault to send Nitro down and
landed on Mercury for two when Melina got in the ring and screamed in the
referees face. London went for a suplex and Nitro pulled the leg and held on
but London kicked out. MNM double teamed London and then Kendrick hit the
ring and sent Nitro to the outside. Kendrick went for a plancha but Melina
pushed Nitro out of the way. Nitro held London but London moved and Mercury
nailed Nitro and then London rolled up Mercury for the win!
Winners and new WWE Tag Team Champions, Brian Kendrick and Paul London
The Aftermath:
Melina couldn’t believe they lost the titles and started to scream at
Mercury. The fans chanted “you suck” at MNM and she continued to blame
Mercury. She then shoved him and he looks to be getting a bit pissed. She
then slapped the taste out of his mouth. Mercury then grabbed Melina and
then Nitro jumped Mercury from behind and started to work away on him.
Melina then kicked Mercury right in the head and then kicked the referee
square in the balls! MNM have imploded at Judgment Day! Mercury attacked
Nitro in the aisle and the two brawled away with each other. Teddy Long came
out with a bunch of referees to try and separate the two, and Long got
shoved down in the middle of it.
Referee: Charles Robinson
Chris Benoit vs. Finlay
The music of Chris Benoit hits in the arena as he makes his way to the ring
for action with Finlay.
The start:
The two locked up and Finlay backed Benoit to the corner and gave a clean
break. They locked up again and Finlay again backed Benoit to the corner and
then back to the middle of the ring and to the other corner but Benoit
reversed it and we’re still in the tie up and it then goes to the outside
and no one wants to budge. Finlay backed Benoit to the barricade and then
they broke it and both got back in the ring and had a stare down.
Mid-match notes:
Benoit hit a double leg and went for a Sharpshooter early but Finlay
countered into a leg hold. Benoit then came back with a side headlock into a
rear chin lock and then scored with a side headlock takedown. Finlay rolled
Benoit over for one but Benoit kept hold of the side headlock. Finlay rolled
through again for two and then Benoit broke the hold. Finlay complained
saying he had something in his eye and backed into the corner. The referee
checked and then Finlay blindsided Benoit. Finlay hit some uppercuts and
then Benoit came back with chops but Finlay hit a drop toe hold into a rear
chin lock putting all his weight on the neck of Benoit. Finlay maintained
control with some quick covers and then slapped Benoit but Benoit then
slapped Finlay knocking him to the canvas. Benoit hit some knees on Finlay
in the corner and then some chops. Benoit scored with a backbreaker for a
two count and then went back to working over Finlay on the mat.
Benoit rolled Finlay up for two and then worked Finlay over in the corner
with more chops. Finlay scored with an eye poke and then a clothesline for
two. Finlay pulled Benoit’s arms backwards on the mat and had his own foot
on the top of Benoit’s head and pulled backwards. The fans got behind Benoit
and he fought out but then Finlay locked in a crisscross choke. The fans
chanted for Benoit as he flipped Finlay down and Benoit went for an elbow
but Finlay moved and covered for two. Benoit exploded with a German suplex
and nailed another, and then a third. Benoit headed up top for the headbutt
but Finlay moved and both men are down. Benoit hit a dragon screw leg drag
out of the corner and went for the Sharpshooter but Finlay kicked him off
and went to the outside. Finlay grabbed a chair but Benoit hit a baseball
slide under the ropes into the chair and Finlay. Back inside, and Benoit
went up and hit the headbutt for a near fall.
Benoit nailed a right hand and then a chop in the corner. Finlay came back
sending Benoit sternum first into the corner and then nailed him hard in the
back and locked in a quarter nelson into a cover for two. Finlay went to the
outside and pulled Benoit to the apron and drove his elbow into Benoit’s
throat. Back inside and Finlay punted Benoit and then stomped him in the
gut. Finlay nailed an elbow drop, and then another, before locking in
another rear chin lock. Finlay locked in a dragon sleeper with a hammerlock
and then nailed Benoit hard in the back. Finlay again nailed Benoit with a
forearm to the back of the head sending Benoit to the mat. Benoit came back
with right hands in the corner but then Finlay drove his elbow into the
shoulder and then hit a knee drop. Finlay worked Benoit over in the corner
some more with a running shoulder into the gut. Finlay hit a hard
clothesline and again covered for two. Finlay locked in a nerve hold on
Benoit but Benoit fought out and nailed a German out of nowhere. Benoit hit
another but Finlay blocked the third and hit some headbutts but then Benoit
hit an enziguri.
The Finish:
Outside the ring and Finlay grabbed his Shillelagh but Benoit ducked and
nailed a German on the floor! Back in the ring and Benoit hit the three
amigos but then Finlay came back and knocked Benoit off the apron and the
back of his head hit the barricade. Finlay followed out and speared Benoit
into the barricade before sending him back into the ring. Finlay threw
Benoit shoulder first into the ring post. Benoit came back and went for the
Crossface out of nowhere and locked it in and Benoit wins!
Winner – Chris Benoit
Backstage:
Jillian Hall is shown getting ready in the back and she’ll be facing Melina,
and that’s next.
Referee: Chris Kay
Melina vs. Jillian Hall
Jillian Hall made her way to the ring for this one on one match with Melina.
Superstar Billy Graham was shown watching the show from the front row.
Melina was accompanied by Nitro, but the referee ejected him before the
match.
The start:
Jillian jumped Melina from behind and hit a Thesz press and then some right
hands. Jillian hit a snapmare and then a flip over neck snap. Jillian pulled
at the hair of Melina but she bailed to the outside. Jillian sent Melina
into the barricade, but then Melina came back kicking Jillian into the ring
steps. Back in the ring and Melina stomped away at Jillian and then stood
right on her head. Melina threw Jillian down to the mat and again stood on
her head. Melina locked in a body scissors with a rear naked choke. Melina
hit some forearm shots and then Jillian reversed into a rollup for two.
The Finish:
Jillian hit some forearms but Melina hit a hair takedown for two. Melina hit
a stiff stomp to the ribs and then choked Jillian over the middle rope.
Melina laid Jillian over the middle buckle and then hit a knee to the mid
section. Melina went for a move from the middle rope but Jillian got her
knees up. Jillian hit some forearms and then a crossbody. Jillian sent
Melina head first to the corner and then nailed a rollup for the win but
Melina’s hand was on the ropes, but the referee didn’t see it.
Winner – Jillian Hall
The Aftermath:
Kristal came down with a big smile on her face to interview Melina. Kristal
says she has to ask Melina a question, it’s one that’s been on everyone’s
mind here. She said she knows tonight hasn’t been a good night for Melina
and then Melina screamed “BITCH” and attacked her but Kristal came back with
boots and forearms and Melina bailed to the back.
Backstage:
John Bradshaw Layfield is in the back and he looks very jovial tonight. He
said tonight is Judgment Day for Rey Mysterio. Tonight the feel good story
of 2006 comes to an end. Rey took on all comers, but now he faces a
different level. He said this is JBL’s world and JBL’s time. He said this is
what he thrives on. JBL said today the true American Hero, and the United
States Champion…JBL screamed at someone and it’s Chavo Guerrero. Chavo said
he’s here to support Rey Mysterio. JBL said that Chavo is here to watch Rey
Mysterio get his ass kicked for the World Heavyweight Title just like he
watched his uncle, Eddie Guerrero, get beat by him for the WWE Title. Chavo
said JBL needs to stop living in the past, and tonight, JBL will not leave
here with the World Title. Chavo said “Viva La Raza” and left.
Cruiserweight Championship Match
Referee: Nick Patrick
Super Crazy vs. Gregory Helms (c)
Gregory Helms made his way to the ring as the Cruiserweight Champion, and
he’s set to defend against Super Crazy. Luis Gonzalez from the Diamondbacks
is shown watching the show.
The start:
The two locked up and Crazy got a quick rollup for two. Crazy with a
jackknife cover for another two, and then a backslide for a third near fall.
Crazy hit a drop toe hold and then another roll up for two. Crazy was sent
to the apron but flipped back in and knocked Helms to the outside. Crazy
went for a dive but the referee stopped him. Crazy then flipped over the
referee with a cannonball on Helms and then sent him back inside for two.
Crazy hit some mounted punches in the corner but then Helms nailed a hot
shot and then a running neckbreaker for two.
Mid-match notes:
Helms nailed another neckbreaker and covered for a near fall. Helms locked
in a head and arm lock but Crazy fought out and ran into an elbow. Helms
pulled Crazy to the apron and clubbed away on his neck. Back in the ring and
Helms covered for two. Helms locked in another rear chin lock and went for a
suplex but Crazy blocked and hit one of his own. Helms went back to a front
face lock and hit some knees to the head of Crazy and then covered for two.
Helms went back to another rear chin lock. Crazy fought out but then ran
into a sleeper but Crazy rolled through into a victory roll for two.
Helms hit a knee to the head and went to the middle rope but Crazy got his
boot up but Helms blocked it but then missed an elbow. Crazy hit some right
hands but then ran into an uppercut. Crazy hit a spinning backbreaker and
then a dropkick and a standing moonsault for two. Crazy went sent to the
apron but he went up top and hit a missile dropkick and covered for a near
fall. Crazy went up top and went for the moonsault but Helms moved. Helms
went for the Shining Wizard but Crazy moved and hit a spinning heel kick for
two.
The Finish:
Helms hit a neckbreaker and then missed a splash in the corner but then
Crazy missed a splash and Helms rolled him up and grabbed the ropes for two.
Crazy shoved Helms into the corner but then ate a boot. Helms hit a flipping
neckbreaker from the middle rope for two. Helms choked at Crazy and then the
two traded right hands. Crazy flipped Helms into the turnbuckle but then
Helms nailed a powerbomb and rolled Crazy up with his feet on the ropes for
the win.
Winner and still Cruiserweight Champion, Gregory Helms
Backstage:
Melina and Nitro go into Long’s office and Melina said MNM got screwed out
of the titles and she got screwed as well. Long said he isn’t going to do
anything about it. Melina then slapped the taste out of Long’s mouth. Long
said he needed that. He said that Melina’s FIRED! Nitro got in Long’s face,
and he’s FIRED too!
In the arena:
Anthony Robles, a one legged Amateur wrestler is shown watching the show,
and he’s 95-0 in high school wrestling.
Referee: Charles Robinson
Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle
The music of Mark Henry hit in the arena as he made his way down to face
Kurt Angle, the man he injured around a month back. Henry started to take
apart the announce table before Angle made his entrance. Henry got on the
mic and said that Kurt Angle needs to realize that he hurts people. He said
Batista got hurt and where’s he? Gone. Henry said he knows Angle isn’t 100%,
so tonight it’s over.
The start:
Angle attacked Henry from behind and hammered away at the knee. Henry sent
Angle to the corner but ate a boot on the charge and then Angle hit a
cannonball from the middle rope and covered for two, and landed on his neck.
Angle locked in a front face lock. Angle went for a sunset flip and then
Henry tried to squash him but Angle moved and then kicked Henry in the jaw.
Angle sent Henry to the outside and followed out, sending him head first
into the announce table.
Mid-match notes:
Angle went for a German suplex on the announce table but Henry elbowed out
and sent Angle back inside. Angle hit a single leg and then locked in a leg
hold on Henry. Henry kicked Angle off and then ran into a huge clothesline
from Henry. Henry hit a big headbutt and then clubbed at the back of Angle.
Henry stood right on top of the taped ribs of Angle and then locked in a
rear chin lock. Angle fought out and hit some right hands, and then a big
kick to the face. Angle went for a cross body but Henry caught him and went
for the World’s Strongest Slam but Angle countered into a DDT for two. Henry
and Angle traded right hands but then Angle hit a huge German suplex. Angle
took down his straps and nailed the Angle Slam for two. Angle charged at
Henry, but Henry exploded with a huge clothesline.
The Finish:
Henry nailed a slam for a near fall. Henry went for the World’s Strongest
Slam but Angle reversed and locked in the Ankle Lock but Henry kicked him
off and to the outside of the ring. Henry sent Angle head first into the
apron and then laid him on the announce table. Henry got on the other
announce table and was going to go for a splash but Angle rolled out of the
way and Henry climbed back down. Henry hit a splash on Angle against the
ring post and Angle got counted out.
Winner by count out, Mark Henry
The Aftermath:
Henry went back to the outside and laid Angle on the announce table again.
Angle came back with an eye rake and then an uppercut and nailed Henry in
the head and then the back with the steel chair repeatedly. Angle locked in
the Ankle Lock on the outside of the ring and Henry tapped. Referee’s and
agents came down to break the hold. Kurt Angle has snapped. Angle got free
of the agents and nailed the Angle Slam on Henry onto the announce table,
which did not break. Angle then hit Henry in the head with a chair and he
fell face first onto the table and it crumbled.
Backstage:
Sharmell is shown in the back and meets up with Booker. She said tonight he
shows the world who he is, and tonight Booker becomes royalty, tonight he
becomes King, better than King Arthur, King Tut, Don King, Martin Luther
King…King Kong ain’t got nothing on Booker, because he’s the greatest King
of all, King Booker! Booker screamed out “King Booker” and they laughed, and
then made out some.
King Of The Ring Finals
Referee: Chris Kay
Booker T vs. Bobby Lashley
We take a look back to the tournament thus far and then we take a look at
the throne, and the coronation will take place this week on Smackdown.
Booker T then made his way to the ring with Sharmell, and he’ll be facing
the soft spoken, hard hitting Bobby Lashley here in the Finals.
The start:
Booker and Lashley got face to face and Lashley shoved Booker down. They
locked up again and Lashley backed Booker to the corner and broke clean.
Another lock up and now Booker got Lashley in the corner and went for a
cheap shot but Lashley blocked and hit some right hands. Lashley sent Booker
to the corner and hit a huge clothesline and then a nice suplex for two.
Lashley hit a hard clothesline and covered for another two count. Lashley
worked the arm of Booker and then locked in an arm bar.
Mid-match notes:
Booker came back with a chop and went for a suplex but Lashley blocked and
took Booker down and covered for two. Booker nailed an eye poke and then a
knee to the head and then some right hands in the corner. Lashley came back
with a clothesline out of the corner and then nailed a double leg and rammed
Booker to the corner, but missed a splash and hit the ring post, shoulder
first. On the outside, Booker sent Lashley head first into the ring steps
and demanded the referee start to count Lashley out. Lashley rolled back in
and Booker stomped away at him in the corner. Booker choked Lashley over the
top rope and then hit a spin kick to the back of the head for a two count.
Booker locked in an arm bar on Lashley but Lashley fought out and ran into a
kick to the mid section. Booker went for the Scissors Kick but Lashley
nailed a huge clothesline. Lashley hit some forearms and then a clothesline.
Lashley hit an atomic drop and then another clothesline. Sharmell got on the
apron and then Booker came from behind Lashley with a kick to the head.
Booker went for the Book End but Lashley countered into a belly to belly
suplex. Lashley set up for the spear but Sharmell grabbed his leg, and
Booker hit a superkick. Booker nailed the Book End and covered but Lashley
kicked out.
The Finish:
Lashley caught Booker on his shoulder in the corner and hit a running
powerslam for a near fall. Lashley hit a running clothesline in the corner
but then ran into a heel kick to the jaw. Booker nailed the Scissors Kick
and covered but Lashley kicked out! Booked missed a side kick and Lashley
hit a Spear out of nowhere. Sharmell got in the ring and then Finlay hit the
ring and nailed Lashley in the head with the Shillelagh. Booker then hit the
Book End for the win!
Winner and King of the Ring, Booker T
The Aftermath:
Booker put on his robe and then Sharmell placed the crown on his head.
Lashley then came from nowhere and speared Booker through the throne.
Lashley looked PISSED as Sharmell checked on her man.
Backstage:
Daivari and the Great Khali are shown making their way through the back, and
Khali faces the Undertaker, and that is next.
Referee: Charles Robinson
The Undertaker vs. The Great Khali
The music of the Great Khali hit in the arena as Daivari led this monster to
the ring to face the returning Undertaker.
The start:
Khali and Undertaker stared each other down and then got face to face. Taker
hit some body shots and then right hands but Khali tossed him to the outside
with one arm. Back inside and Taker hit some more kicks and punches but
again Khali tossed the Undertaker over the top rope. Taker hit a hot shot on
the top rope to hang Khali up and then back in the ring he hit more right
hands. Taker went for Old School but Khali pulled him down crashing to the
mat.
Mid-match notes:
Khali hit right hands and stomps on the Undertaker in the corner and then
stood on him as the fans got behind the Deadman. Khali sent Undertaker hard
to the corner and then nailed a clothesline. Khali stomped the Undertaker to
the outside and followed out. Khali nailed a shot to the back and then
slammed him head first into the apron. Taker came back with an elbow and
then some right hands but then Khali whipped Undertaker knee first into the
ring steps. Daivari got some cheap shots in behind the referees back. Back
in the ring and Khali slammed the Undertaker. Taker sat up and Khali hit a
chop to the head. Khali covered Undertaker with one boot but Taker kicked
out and then sat up. Khali and Undertaker traded right hands and then Taker
hit a headbutt and then went for Old School again, and this time he nailed
it. Taker hit some jabs and then a running clothesline. Taker hit another
clothesline, and then a flying clothesline and Khali got hung up in the
ropes.
The Finish:
Khali is stuck and Taker went to work on him with right hands. Daivari is on
the apron and Taker grabbed him by the throat to bring him in the ring but
the referee stopped him and Taker chased after the referee while Daivari
freed Khali. Taker went for a chokeslam but Khali blocked and then hit a big
boot. Taker sat up and Khali hit the chop to the skull again. Khali hit
another kick to the head and covered him with one foot for the win. Oh my.
Winner – The Great Khali
In the arena:
The Phoenix Suns are shown in the crowd enjoying the show.
World Heavyweight Championship Match
Referee: Nick Patrick
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio (c)
The music of John Bradshaw Layfield hit in the arena as the limo pulled out
and the United States Champion emerged for his title shot at the World
Heavyweight Champion, Rey Mysterio. Rey’s wife Angie is shown watching from
the crowd.
The start:
JBL pie faced Rey down to the mat and Rey got right back up, and JBL did it
again. Rey then went to work with kicks but JBL pushed him down again. JBL
backed up and then we get a lock up. Rey kicked away at JBL and then grabbed
a side headlock. JBL then perched Rey on the top rope and Rey slapped him.
JBL came back with a boot to the gut and then slammed Rey head first into
the turnbuckle and wailed away with right hands. JBL stomped on the fingers
of Mysterio and then went for a big boot but Rey hit a drop toe hold and
went for the 619 but JBL bailed to the outside.
Mid-match notes:
Rey hit a baseball slide on JBL and then nailed a seated senton on JBL to
the floor. Back in the ring and Rey hit a cross body for a near fall and
then hit a running dropkick for another two count. Rey hit a running leg
drop and covered again for a near fall. Rey hit some mounted punches in the
corner and then hit a baseball slide to the balls of JBL in the corner while
the referee was distracted. Rey sent JBL to the outside and went for a
baseball slide but JBL moved and then hit a big boot. JBL threw Rey into the
ring steps head first. JBL hit a straight right hand and then tossed Rey
back into the ring. JBL stomped Rey in the head and then gave him another
big right hand. Rey was sent to the outside and JBL followed out and slammed
him head first into the ring steps again. JBL taunted Angie at ringside, and
Rey is bleeding after that shot. JBL hit a suplex and then spun the hips and
mocked the memory of Eddie Guerrero with the Three Amigos. JBL hung Rey up
on the ropes and then kicked him to the floor. JBL held Rey’s bloody head in
front of Angie at ringside, and then hit a fallaway slam.
Back in the ring and JBL slapped Rey around in the cornerand then nailed him
with a pair of short arm clotheslines. JBL told the referee to check Rey,
and the referee started to count him out as he was down and out. Rey gets up
at nine at then eats a big boot for a near fall. Rey tried to fight back
with right hands but JBL punked him out and then locked in a sleeper hold.
JBL let go of Rey when the referee checked his arm for a second time, and
then decided to cover but Rey kicked out at two. JBL perched Rey on the top
rope and went for a back suplex but Rey fought him off and knocked him down.
Rey then came off with a moonsault on the standing JBL for a near fall. Rey
nailed a cross body and then a kick to the head and covered for a near fall.
Rey went for the bronco buster in the corner but JBL got his boot up into
the groin of Rey. JBL went for a powerbomb but Rey blocked it and hit the
619!
The Finish:
Rey went for the West Coast Pop but JBL pulled the referee in front of him
and then hit the powerbomb. JBL screamed for a new referee and covered as
Charles Robinson hit the ring and counted but Rey kicked out! JBL nailed the
new referee with a right hand and then grabbed a chair from ringside. Rey
kicked the chair back into JBL’s face and hit the 619. Rey went up top and
hit the Frog Splash on JBL to retain!
Winner and still World Heavyweight Champion, Rey Mysterio
The Aftermath:
Chavo Guerrero hit the ring and celebrated this huge victory with Rey
Mysterio. Angie applauded from ringside as Chavo and Rey embraced in the
ring. The fans chanted “Eddie, Eddie!” as Judgment Day went off the air.
WWE Judgment Day – Quick Match Results
– Tag Titles: London and Kendrick def. MNM to win the titles
– Chris Benoit def. Finlay
– Jillian Hall def. Melina
– Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms def. Super Crazy to retain
– Mark Henry def. Kurt Angle by count out
– King of the Ring: Booker T def. Bobby Lashley
– Great Khali def. The Undertaker
– World Title: Rey Mysterio def. John Bradshaw Layfield to retain
____________________
*Columns:*
*Balrog Babblings*
By: Joe
Joe1897 at gmail.com
*Jim Ross and Joey Styles
*
Before I begin, I just want to say that it was a real pleasure to write the
TBL @ 10 series. I thank all of you for your great feedback during the
series and I hope that the rest of you enjoyed reading it as much as I
enjoyed writing it. If you have any additional comments on the TBL @ 10
series, please feel free to send them over.
Announcers should not be a part of storylines. Please read again. Announcers
should not be a part of storylines.
Every couple of years we suffer through some bullshit with Jim Ross that
either takes him off television for a few months or disables him for a few
weeks. Enough is enough already. Let the announcers call the damn matches
and let us fans enjoy the show for once. Why do we have to suffer through
some stupid, ill-planned, poor television sketch that has Jerry Lawler,
Coach, and Jim Ross apologizing to the McMahon clan? What was the sense of
that a few months ago? It was horrible TV!
And why is WWE so intent on *killing a storyline before it even has a chance
to succeed
Listen, I know that Joey Styles is needed for the new ECW brand, but why did
it have to be a tough break with the RAW brand? Why couldn’t Paul Heyman
come out in a month, announce that ECW will be returning, and ask Styles to
come back and announce? Is it so bad to just have a television skit that
would follow along the lines of reality for once?
But what might be the most insulting part of the entire “switcheroo” with
the announce team is that WWE.com announced Jim Ross would be back on a
“probationary” period as per Mr. McMahon. Come on, dude. I don’t understand
how WWE can attempt to make WWE.com a hot spot among wrestling websites
(which they admitted in a recent move, promoting Michael Cole to the head of
their Web Division) and not acknowledge that wrestling news websites exist
and are really accurate when it comes to these particular storylines. Just
about every “news” site out there called both Coach being asked to leave the
announce booth (we’ll get to that next) and Jim Ross’ imminent return. For
WWE to try to make this some stupid storyline with Jim Ross being on
probation…bleh. It almost makes me not want to watch (except that Ross and
Lawler have a great chemistry).
All of this brings us to the Coach factor. What is this guy’s purpose again?
They hired him to do some of the backstage promo stuff, then they allowed
him to call some of the sublevel shows (which he sucked at), then they made
him Eric Bischoff’s bitch, then they forced him down our throats with that
horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE three person announce team, and now he’s been
squashed by Viscera? Hey WWE – NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS GUY! When I see this
guy involved in some “storyline,” he gets the same treatment that Jean Paul
Levesque gets – I change the channel. He’s a boring character, he should
NEVER be allowed to take television time away from guys like Helms, Haas,
Benjamin, or even Flair and Umaga and that ridiculous mess. The guys has got
no purpose on television and the more he is allowed to be on the screen, the
less I want to watch.
On top of all that – he absolutely sucks at announcing. He couldn’t even
have called WCW Main Event on TBS. He’s the worst. And listen, I don’t say
this because “that’s what we want the fans to think.” No. This is similar to
X-Pac Heat or Levesque Heat – no one likes Coach, he’s a waste of time.
What I’m asking for here is just some common sense in the show. Don’t hire
Styles knowing his style of announcing (pun not intended) and then tell him
he sucks at it. Don’t fire Jim Ross…ever. He’s the best play-by-play
man/storyteller on the planet today for professional wrestling/sports
entertainment. Get Coach out of the announce booth and never put him back
ever again. He’s terrible at calling a match and it’s obvious if you just
listen. And for the love of God, keep Jerry Lawler happy! That man may have
old, used up jokes, but they’re hilarious.
Isn’t it funny that Smackdown!, the so-called “B Show,” has had the best,
consistent announce team in the business?
Joe
Joe1897 at gmail.com
*
*
*Figure Four Leglock*
By: Dr. Trevor Hunnicutt
THunnicutt at aol.com
Horrors aplenty in “See No Evil”
People with little direct knowledge of professional wrestling are likely to
find the comparison between Vince McMahon’s promotion and the circus apt.
The image of clowns, elephants, and charlatans seems to represent accurately
the odd subculture that is professional wrestling and the odd allure it has
with some people. Obviously, as a wrestling fan, I find the intent of that
analogy to be somewhat insulting. I prefer—and find more realistic—the
comparison between pro wrestling and live theater. Insofar as jazz is seen
as America’s one truly unique form of music, modern wrestling is a similarly
unique invention in live theater—for the common man. Wrestling has thrived
on and been financially dependent on presenting a show that will resonate
and inspire a live audience.
So, whereas to give credit where it is due, I will acknowledge the potential
genius of WWE Films. Wrestling has inspired the emotional loyalty of fans in
the past—especially when it lets the natural propensities and emotions of
its talent be exposed raw—and movies, whether as entertainment or more
dramatic, could certainly be a logical extension of that inherent drama.
Many wrestlers have a certain unpolished authenticity that I believe could
carry well on screen.
But WWE, as usual, is playing this game for short-term profitability if
their debut film “See No Evil” is any indication. The movie stars Kane as
Jacob, the psychotic occupant of an abandoned hotel. Two police officers
accompany eight young petty criminals assigned there for community service.
Trapped there, they find Jacob’s lust for pulling out eyeballs and putting
them in jars to be something more than the community service they intended.
The greatest horror movies have been good because they use the sordid and
the violent to unearth the psychological and interpersonal reasons for
problems within society. Others are good because the execution of the
product is so exceptional (even to the point of absurdity) that they are
fated to become classics. “See No Evil” is neither. This movie uses bad
technique to cover up the initial lack of fresh thought and cleverness of
the script.
As ridiculous as the movie’s intent and conception is, the execution manages
to undermine what little the movie does offer in the way of thrills. Indeed,
the scariest part of the experience watching “See No Evil” is the perilous
notion that it will never end.
It goes without saying that this is an ungainly, bovine, and profane film. I
could not expect anymore, really. This is, after all, still Vince McMahon’s
WWE. Dan Madigan, the writer of the clichéd screenplay, is the former WWE
writer who is best known for creating Mordecai the white knight of Smackdown
for a few months in 2004 and the Hirohito gimmick for Kenzo Suzuki before it
was nixed for being a culturally insensitive portrayal of the beloved, World
War II-era Japanese emperor. Gregory Dark, who directed Kane—who spoke all
of one line in the film—here, comes with an impressive portfolio of films,
including “Hootermania” and “New Wave Hookers.” Unfortunately, the actors
here lacked the on-camera presence Dark—I am sure—insisted of the actors in
his other films.
Not that Kane, whom this vehicle was intended to promote, was overwhelming
at anything besides being large and unattractive with long nails and bad
teeth. In quarterly investor conference calls, Linda McMahon has indicated
the purpose of these film projects is to promote the characters seen on the
weekly wrestling broadcasts and build the product outside of the normal
circles. In this critic’s assessment, Kane’s performance here did nothing to
convince the audience that he was really all that scary. In these movies,
fear is usually of the unknown, but there was no mystique to his presence in
the film. Instead, the viewer is occasionally amused, disturbed, and
indifferent to Glenn Jacobs as a psychotic killer. If doing scary things
were in and of itself scary, John Cena’s wrestling might be the more apropos
subject of WWE’s debut horror film.
Not all is lost with this product, though. This movie is on a fair amount of
screens and the viewing I saw, on opening night, was just about sold out.
This movie is not likely to have much staying power, but it will likely more
than break even, if only just for curiosity’s sake. WWE may very well make
enough money from this project to make it worth their while to produce other
mediocre films for an undiscriminating public. If you want to see a
wrestling monster in a movie, I would recommend Andre the Giant in the
“Princess Diaries” well before I would this one, however. If you like the
horror genre, this movie is far better than the stillborn “When a Stranger
Calls” earlier this year.
That status will not convince anyone outside of wrestling that the product
is worth watching, or that it has improved from the sideshow circus it has
always been. And that might be more of a loss than the money WWE will pilfer
from moviegoers this weekend.
Maybe Vince’s eyes should be the next to go.
Dr. Trevor Hunnicutt
THunnicutt at aol.com
____________________
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