Unfortunately, due to my health and Linda’s busy schedule, our joint Wrestlemania review column took a little longer to arrange than expected and subsequently looking at the card match by match became a little redundant. So rather than discussing headlocks or toe-jobs, it made sense to look at the bigger picture surrounding the WWE’s most important night of the year and see if we could make any sense of it all. As mentioned before, Linda’s spelling and grammar has been corrected adjusted to suit my British sensitivities so do not be alarmed if she’s not the flag-waving, apple pie-eating son-of-a-gun you know and occasionally love. No columnists were harmed during the writing of this piece.
Lee says:
I’d like to thank you for agreeing to do this mess once more and it’s nice to speak to you again Linda.
Linda says:
Thanks for inviting me.
Lee says:
Are you sure you’ll be able to maintain a sense of journalistic objectivity about Wrestlemania seeing as you were at the show and a few other events over the whole weekend?
Linda says:
I’ll try my best, but what with going to the Hall of fame ceremony, Wrestlemania and then Raw the next night I do consider myself a “lucky bitch”, wouldn’t you say?
Lee says:
Well, I’m not sure I’d put it as strongly as that.
Linda says:
No? An eagle-eyed reader emailed me saying that in one of your columns from last year, if you took all the first letters of each paragraph it spells out the words ‘LINDA IS A BITCH’. Want to talk about this coincidence or shall we just get on with the PPV?
Lee says:
Bloody conspiracy theorists. Yes, if we could stick to the topic at hand, I’d like to first of all discuss the two big winners on the night, that being John Cena and Rey Mysterio. I don’t think it’s a surprise to many that you were rooting for HHH in the Raw main event, but I notice your prediction was for Cena to win. Why so sure?
Linda says:
Two reasons. The number of times HHH was getting the upper hand in the build up was too much to let him also win the title at the PPV. Plus, I just didn’t see Cena losing so soon after he won it back from Edge, I see him hanging on to it for a while to come yet.
Lee says:
There has been some talk of doing a double turn, Hunter goes face and Cena goes heel, you think this would be a good idea?
Linda says:
I wish that the double turn would have happened at Wrestlemania because I was there, however a slow build up would make me very happy. I would love to see a heel Cena and a face HHH.
Lee says:
I’m not so sure. They’re basically tweeners now, all you’d do with the double turn is loose the face support that Cena has and quiet down the anti-face crowd because they like Hunter’s gimmick.
Linda says:
I can accept Hunter as a tweener if he goes back to using the same sarcasm and humour he showed in his DX days but nothing less than full heel for Cena. I think fans could catch onto that far easier.
Lee says:
I think they should stay as they are and milk the heat until the feud ends. Then separate them and turn Cena heel on a genuine face and turn Hunter face using maybe McMahon. Then when the turns are established, bring them back together later in the year if they’re both still over with the fans.
Linda says:
Keep it the way it is and, as the rumours go, it’s going to be Cena v RVD at the ECW PPV. Cena will be booed like never before so there’s your heel turn. He has RVD to feud with for a while with Hunter maybe against Edge at the same time, I would love to see these two go at it.
Lee says:
Not bad, one subject discussed and we can’t agree on anything! So you think Edge is still up there, despite everyone claiming his spot had gone after holding the title for just a month?
Linda says:
Oh yes I do, he’s up there. I don’t think RVD will be up there long but I do Edge.
Lee says:
You think Edge has been that good in promo and in matches?
Linda says:
Definitely. He’s the total package. His mic work is usually flawless and he’s always been one of the best in the ring from his era.
Lee says:
One of the main things holding him back is that acceptance from the fans and that doesn’t happen overnight or as a result of going through a flaming table, it takes time and a prolonged push from management. You think this RVD push is just the one time thing then?
Linda says:
Yes I do. My thinking is this: Cena beats RVD at One night stand and maybe RVD has a rematch during a Raw or at Vengeance and then he’s done.
Lee says:
Should the WWE be more keen to use their only top guy on Raw who, as a face, gets a genuine face crowd reaction?
Linda says:
You mean RVD or HBK?
Lee says:
Hey, get smart with me and I take my column and go home! Okay, one of the “two” who gets the right reaction. I discounted Shawn because he’s not really ‘in’ the scene anymore, more like doing his own thing until he gets bored enough to retire.
Linda says:
That’s a tough question. I don’t think WWE looks at RVD as one of their top faces to be honest with you. They seem to want to ignore all those RVD chants anytime he comes out. I can easily see them feeding Van Dam to Cena to make him a heel. I say at least give him a shot, I think he’s earned that.
Lee says:
I know this is virtually blasphemous to say on the net but I don’t think RVD is World title material, but he should be in there or thereabouts. Maybe punching above his weight as the IC champ would be enough. He’s changed his promo style to more aggressive now, but as shown on Raw last week he still doesn’t know how to play to a crowd, he talked over almost all their chants.
Linda says:
He is trying to be as you said more aggressive and serious and he’s lacking getting over on the mic. Then again, his fan base just chants even louder. They want this man to hold the title and they want Vince to know about it..
Lee says:
Over to Smackdown now, happy with Mysterio winning the belt?
Linda says:
Very happy about Rey winning but most of my readers are angry about it. I feel he’s earned the spot. Sure, if Eddie was alive then he wouldn’t have gotten that push but he works hard, he won the rumble and I thought the win was the right thing to do. My readers feel he’s there because of Eddie’s death, he’s not championship material and honestly they tell me they hate the guy. Hearing the boos at Wrestlemania shocked the hell of out me, I was cheering like crazy for him.
Lee says:
Just like in most anti-heel situations, I don’t think you can lay too much thought into the chants. I can understand the Eddie problem, mainly because many still feel he’s too small to be in the main event scene, but hating the guy seems a little worked. I think a lot of these guys want their champion to be someone they can associate with and no one wants to be seen with a midget with a mask fixation.
Linda says:
Preferring ‘tough guys’ makes sense and for me I like it that Rey is so small yet he can hang with the bigger wrestlers and he does it well. I wish Eddie would have been in that spot but that wasn’t meant to be and Rey Mysterio as champ is a positive thing for me, I don’t think he’ll have it long but for now it’s cool.
Lee says:
What will they do if Orton is gone for 60 days and that just leaves Rey and Angle? I don’t see either being turned anytime soon.
Linda says:
Well with this Smackdown King of the ring tournament, I’m thinking Kurt will win it and face Rey at Judgement Day. Not win the belt, I’ll give that to Rey at least for now, but Rey loses at Summerslam.
Lee says:
Odd question for you, I know that he said he’d never do it again, but do you think Rey would be more over with the US audience if he was unmasked right now, more personable?
Linda says:
I don’t know if he would be more over. I know for me I would like him to keep it on. I’m just used to it and it’s more mysterious for Mysterio (too dumb a thing to say?).
Lee says:
(No no, we encourage ‘dumb’ around here). As for Orton’s suspension, you think he’s in any danger of being released?
Linda says:
Yes I do, if you go by what’s out there and the latest it sounds like he really did something horrible and they say anyone else would have gotten fired for it. I say his days are numbered.
Lee says:
His comments on wwe.com, though obviously in line with company policy, were contrite and accepting of the suspension so maybe he’s got to see this as a wake up call? I wonder how long management can work with him if he’s pissing off the guys who can draw more than he does.
Linda says:
On wwe.com it was all so neat and pretty, it was a fairy tale. I say this guy is in deep trouble. I read this suspension could be a lot longer than 60 days.
Lee says:
I’d be amazed if WWE don’t go out of their way to try to get him to see the error of his ways (if he has any). It would be quite an indictment of his stupidity if a ‘get it right or get out’ warning doesn’t slap some sense into him. Anyone from the mid-card on Smackdown looking like coming up to replace him? Benoit maybe?
Linda says:
I would love to see Benoit get that spot. I’ve read that the man for the job might be … wait for it … MR. KENNEDY (Kennedy). He could be used as the main heel. But I don’t even know if he’s ready for that spot yet.
Lee says:
I liked his work but not so much as to put the heel section on him. And he wasn’t there long before he got injured. It wouldn’t be like Vince to go with somebody so untested. I reckon he’d fall back on someone like JBL until a new heel leader emerged. Moving on, what about Vince/Shawn? How did it look live? Must have been a car wreck.
Linda says:
Oh live it looked REAL painful but so entertaining, it was fantastic. Vince didn’t slack off at anytime and Shawn being the showman that he is just kept going. I was getting nervous the more it went on.
Lee says:
From a storytelling point of view it was probably the match of the night. Not bad for a 60-year-old Billionaire who walks like he’s trying to shake a pineapple out his ass.
Linda says:
It was a great effort by Vince. Speaking off ass, he has a nice tight one. I mean how could I not notice, he was flaunting it right in front of us.
Lee says:
Were you blessed with any ass tricks in your direction? (asked solely in the public interest).
Linda says:
Yes, a little bit of ass in action.
Lee says:
While I go and flush that image out of my mind, you think Shawn is seeing this as his last run for a while. I mean, once he’s teamed with GOD, there’s not much left to do.
Linda says:
I have read he wants to take time off so maybe you have something there. But with God as his tag team partner, how can he lose?
Lee says:
Well if God’s omnipresent then surely he can’t get out of the ring before a 5-count so their team could be disqualified?
Linda says:
My money is on God and Shawn, it would be a miracle if they lost.
Lee says:
(Nice). You do have to question Shawn’s hunger now. The only peer he has on Raw is Hunter and he’s still doing the main event thing. Shawn’s already helped guys like Benjamin get noticed, I just wonder if he feels he’s got anything left to prove.
Linda says:
I’m still thinking that with the crotch chops by both last week and the ‘suck it’ with Shawn on Raw that Hunter and Shawn will re-unite by summer. Sounds crazy?
Lee says:
I don’t think ‘crazy’ is a word you can ignore with the WWE thesedays, but I would be surprised if it happened.
Linda says:
I just think something is up. It was too odd that this was all done.
Lee says:
I guess we’ll see. Any other notable performances from Wrestlemania?
Linda says:
The notable performances go to Mick Foley and Edge. As nervous as I was during the HBK/Vince match, the hardcore match got me so wired it was hard to watch. I thought for sure one of them would get seriously hurt. That was my match of the night.
Lee says:
It was nice to see a hardcore match being done in the traditional ECW style, with a strong build throughout and each spot sold like it meant something. Extreme stuff is so devalued thesedays with everyone getting whacked with trash-can lids for no reason and with little effect.
Linda says:
Exactly, to me this was an ECW match all the way, and I’m not used to seeing something like that in the WWE I was on pins and needles but I loved every part of it.
Lee says:
Not as much on ‘pins’ as Edge was, surely? In time, most stuff gets forgotten but the image of Mick and Edge going through the flaming table is one we’ll see again and again over the years. You can criticise Vince for not always going for the wrestling, but he sure knows a great moment when he sees one.
Linda says:
When I saw Edge sitting there with thumbtacks covering his back I could feel the pain, this man looked like he was in total agony. Did I tell you I got hit with a thumbtack? When Edge dumped them on the mat some flew and one hit my forehead.
Lee says:
Is the court case pending?
Linda says:
Seriously it was fine, but I was thinking can you imagine if it hit my eye?
Lee says:
Man you’d be money then, Vince would settle faster than one of Lita‘s new implants. Anyone else? Shame Trish and Mickie half cocked-up the last move, I was enjoying that. You think the long build up for that match means that it’s unlikely to go on for much longer?
Linda says:
No, I think we will see Mickie/Trish at backlash. I felt terrible that she screwed up because that match was going so well, but you know what the fans were so behind Mickie that she could do no wrong. They wanted Trish to lose.
Lee says:
I loved the ‘licking her fingers’ move. I’ve nicknamed Mickie ‘Polar Bear’ now. Not because she wears white but because she likes to get her face covered in hair and fish. Actually, am I allowed to say that in pleasant company?
Linda says:
You can say it, my company’s not that pleasant. I was amazed by the fan support she had because when you watch RAW it seems like she gets heat but nothing out of the ordinary so all the “LOVE” she got really shocked me.
Lee says:
Heel cheers do trickle down the card. I’d say it’s 60% insurrection and 40% ‘got an erection’. Any chant that goes against the grain seems to be preferable thesedays, doesn’t matter who it’s for or against. Somebody who’s still very popular despite seemingly doing very little to deserve it is The Boogeyman. You think the gimmick was enough to justify not just a spot but a win on the show?
Linda says:
It’s obvious in the ring he’s lacking skills but man, he’s so living that role.
Lee says:
But how long before fans get tired of it without any wrestling?
Linda says:
Oh I agree you can do it for just so long. I have gotten some emails at the beginning saying he’s just a Papa Shango of 2006. Shango was slightly before my time, similar to The Boogeyman?
Lee says:
Tough question. I guess generally he is, but Boogeyman’s character seems like he’s under the influence of voodoo or whatever, whereas Shango was more like a ringmaster, instilling possession in others. I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s a rip-off as such, maybe just an updated, more freaky version.
Linda says:
Do you like The Boogeyman gimmick?
Lee says:
He does it so well, even if I didn’t like it, it would still be so believable and energetic that you couldn’t say it wasn’t effective. I’d rather they gave him more matches, even if it meant building up his repertoire of moves slowly like they do with the divas, but he’s got to have proper matches at some point, even if he’s not a ‘wrestler’ as such. So, overall, you think it was one of the best Wrestlemania shows?
Linda says:
For me yeah? I think Wrestlemania 20 was good, well the last few have been, but this was outstanding. Maybe because I was there live but it never got dull, it was just an amazing show.
Lee says:
You think Vince got lucky putting the weaker of the two main events on last or did he know the crowd (your good self included) was going to make the match more than it was?
Linda says:
Truthfully I think Vince was very aware of what the crowd reaction would be, mainly because of Cena v Angle last year, so yeah Vince knew what he was doing.
Lee says:
It was noticeable that so little was done to change anything in the build up to the match that Vince was probably wary of ruining the divided heat the crowd were giving it, no matter how they booked it.
Linda says:
One reason, well I had many, but one reason I knew Cena was going to hang on was because at the press conference Hunter said this will be the easiest match he’s ever been in. I knew Cena was a given, plus Vince won’t let the fans dictate a title change he’s got to be in control.
Lee says:
I would caution you reading too much into these obviously worked promos but you always seem to do well with predictions so maybe I could learn something from you?
Linda says:
Yes, I will be giving lessons. My class, PREDICTIONS 101, starts before Backlash. You should try it, I’ve seen your efforts at predictions before.
Lee says:
A little cruel but mostly true. Assuming there’s going to be one this year, do you have any draft lottery thoughts? So many big names switched last time that it would be redundant to just switch them back, so will it have the same impact?
Linda says:
Based on how certain storylines have been going recently, I’d say Kane goes to Smackdown. Probably Chavo too.
Lee says:
I also think some of the dissolved tag teams might find themselves on separate shows soon. I’ll be surprised if Vince stretches it over the month this year, that was reliant on big names going almost every week.
Linda says:
I say it will be done like it used to be, on one show RAW.
Lee says:
Mind you, still no Raw GM yet. You think there’ll be another one or is that position done now?
Linda says:
I’m thinking maybe Eric Bischoff will return. He took time off and I say it’s possible. I can’t see them going with anyone new. I don’t want Dusty Rhodes either.
Lee says:
A sentiment echoed by MRS RHODES too, probably. So more mental Vince doing what he wants then?
Linda says:
I’m thinking he’ll slowly leave. I’ll tell you what surprises me…
Lee says:
Loud noises? Worms? Face chants for Cena?
Linda says:
… no, but keep guessing, you’re so much funnier when you’re desperate. I’m surprised that Theodore Long has remained the GM of Smackdown. I like him, don’t get me wrong, but the way Vince is I would have thought he would have replaced him.
Lee says:
It’s even more amazing that the dancing freak is still doing a good job. Especially when he made such a poor manager and an even worse referee.
Linda says:
I agree. He’s doing okay, he’s low key but effective when he needs to be.
Lee says:
Lastly, with Vince’s spring clean-out potentially due soon, should any names be concerned for their positions?
Linda says:
There’s a few I would release and a few I wouldn’t have re-signed.
Lee says:
True. Reluctantly, one name that stands out to me is Victoria. With Mickie James as the lead female heel now and Victoria having done so much already over the years, I think they might wheel out the ‘we’ve got nothing for you to do’ line at some point.
Linda says:
I could see that. For some reason Victoria lost her status a long time ago and again I’m surprised that she’s still around. She doesn’t fit the ‘eye candy’ mode and her wrestling skills don’t seem to be important to WWE.
Lee says:
Especially with Trish as the lead face whom she’s worked with more than a few times before. Most of the options they’d have for her seem like going over old ground. I have a feeling WWE will terminate several new contracts, based solely on that some of his re-hiring decisions seem very strange. And some of the new signings like Gymini and Dalip Singh, they just don’t come across as keepers.
Linda says:
I know I base a lot of stuff on first impressions but this new Umaga gimmick, I hate it. I see nothing in this character at all.
Lee says:
Vince’s penchant for the Islanders/Samoans/Headshrinkers style gimmick borders on a perversion, but it rarely works and less so now that it’s not cool. I see a rapid change to that character or it’ll be done real soon.
Linda says:
I think it will be done soon, at least I hope so. He’s not even something you want to look at. I took to Carlito, Mr Kennedy and Boogeyman instantly. Umaga ranks right there with Heidenreich.
Lee says:
‘Rank’ being the perfect word. Okay Mrs Predictions, last thing, predict the next world champ for each belt, to take them from Cena and Rey respectively.
Linda says:
Hunter will eventually beat Cena. Rey is more difficult, either Angle or Batista when he returns.
Lee says:
Okay, I’ll go with RVD beats Cena and Orton beats Rey once his wrists have recovered from the slapping.
Linda says:
I would have gone with Orton but now I’m wondering if he’s going to have to wait a long time before he gets that chance. You think RVD will win?
Lee says:
Not at ECW, one of them will have to turn heel first. Probably Cena.
Linda says:
And not before time.
Lee says:
Well I think that’s it, we’ve insulted just about everyone in WWE so that just leaves thanking you once again for doing this Linda. I would say that I’ll see you again after Summerslam but you know how it is, I just can’t guarantee your spot will still be available in five months.
Linda says:
No? That’s a shame. Remind me, where did you finish in the Top 50 columnists poll held recently? Surely someone with as much stroke as you finished in the top … let’s say … 21?
Lee says:
I wasn’t placed. But don’t forget, I’m the one writing this column, I can make you say anything I want.
Linda says:
True. And you are a lot more attractive that HHH, who’s a bad wrestler anyway and nowhere near as good as Heidenreich was. Plus, Hunter only got where he is today by sleeping with Stephanie. I love TNA. Jarrett rules. Pat Patterson was a hunk.
Lee says:
Not sure I agree with that extraordinary outburst Linda, but if that’s how you feel then I can’t change your mind. Thanks again, and I’m sure I’ll be hearing from you real soon.
