Last week, we saw Edge celebrate his WWE title victory with a ‘live sex’ session with Lita that allowed the people in the UK to see more than the fans in the United States got to see on SpikeTV. With less than two weeks until the Royal Rumble, what new wrestlers will qualify for the match to determine who gets to face a champion at Wrestlemania? What will happen when Kurt Angle walks into the arena with the World Title that he won on Friday night? Will he have a letdown tonight against Shawn Michaels? Will Ric Flair win his seventeenth World Title when he faces Edge in a TLC match?
Make sure to check out Brian Richey’s Unlimited Reports to find out what happened during the commercial breaks on USA Network.
We begin tonight’s show with clips of Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ speech.
We are live from Raleigh, North Carolina and your announcers are Joey ‘Chris Corchiani’ Styles, Jonathan ‘Chris Washburn’ Coachman, and Jerry ‘Jim Valvano’ Lawler
We see footage from last week’s Smackdown where Kurt Angle won the World Title in a 20 man battle royal.
The current WWE champion, Edge comes to the ring with Lita. Edge has a mic and he is going to talk. Edge says that he understands that people are calling him a ‘cheap’ champion, that he stole his victory over John Cena at New Year’s Revolution. The fact is that he won the title ‘fair and square’. He did it when he exercised his ‘money in the bank’ clause. Whether you like it or not, he is the WWE champion. Being the champion, he does what he wants when he wants. He calls the shots. Last week, he wanted to have a ‘live, sex celebration’ with his sex kitten, Lita. Some people were offended by Lita being stripped down to her bare essentials. To those people, he says too bad. He is the R Rated Superstar so you better get used to it. Edge points out that it was the highest rated ending to Raw in over two years. After he won the title, over 25 million people got on WWE.com. That means that he is the most watched WWE champion of all time. For the people who do not like that, there are consequences to pay. Just like their legend, Ric Flair, who tried to stick his nose in their business? We go to footage of Edge hitting Ric Flair in the head with a steel chair. Edge says so much for Flair Country. Ric Flair disrespected him and Lita. So he gave Flair a conchairto and bashed his brains in. Later tonight, he is going to finish Ric Flair off in a ‘tables, ladders, and chairs match’. First he wants Lita to finish him off. Edge wants to have ‘live, uninterrupted sex’ with Lita right now. Edge gets a chair and sits down while Lita gives him a lap dance.
From out of nowhere, Kurt Angle’s music plays and he comes to the ring with Khosrow Daivari. Edge tells Angle that everyone is telling Angle that he sucks. Kurt says that he didn’t think they were talking about him, but they were talking about Lita. Angle asks if Edge thinks these cheap parlor tricks make him a champion. He handed over a briefcase and beat John Cena, a man who got his ass kicked for 45 minutes in an Elimination Chamber match. Edge says that makes him smart. Angle agrees, but says that ability will keep him the champion. Angle says that everyone knows that he is the real thing. He is a real champion and does not take the easy way out. Edge starts to talk, but Angle cuts him off. Angle says that his contract on Raw ended on January 1st. He was going to renegotiate his deal with Eric Bischoff, but then he heard about Batista’s injury. He signed with Smackdown and he beat nineteen other superstars in a battle royale to become the new World Champion. Edge says that Angle went to Smackdown because he was embarrassed. He tried for four months to beat John Cena, but failed. However, Edge only needed two minutes to beat Cena. If Angle won the Elimination Chamber, he would have done the same thing to him. Angle says that if Edge wants to see if he can beat Angle, why not do it tonight to unify the titles. Edge wants to know if the fans want to see it, but he says there is not a chance. Edge says that Angle is the champion on a second rate show. Who is he to challenge Edge? Edge reminds Angle that he was the first man eliminated in the match at New Year’s Revolution. Edge pushes Angle, but Angle with a German suplex and Edge goes outside the ring.
There is NO CHANCE that Vince McMahon wouldn’t come to the ring and he has a mic. Vince tells both men that he is not going to have two world champions beating the hell out of each other. Both men will fulfill their obligations. Edge will have his first title defense in a ‘tables, ladders, and chairs’ match against the man he beat up last week, Ric Flair. Vince tells Edge and Lita to leave, but he tells Lita to cover up. Vince congratulates Kurt Angle and then says that he will be facing Shawn Michaels tonight, but it will not be for the title. There will be a stipulation. If Shawn Michaels loses, his contract will be terminated tonight. Vince wants Shawn Michaels to come out for the first match of the night. Shawn Michaels comes to the ring and he has some words for Vince before he enters the ring. We go to commercial.
Match Number One: Shawn Michaels versus Kurt Angle (with Khosrow Daivari) [if Shawn Michaels loses, his contract is terminated]
The match started on WWE Unlimited, and we join the match in progress with Shawn chasing Daivari around the ring and into the ring. Michaels ducks a clothesline and responds with two chops and a side head lock take down. Michaels with a shoulder tackle and a near fall followed by another side head lock take down. Angle backs Michaels into the corner and Angle responds with two shoulders, a kick, and punches. Michaels puts Angle in the corner and chops Angle. Angle with an Irish whip, but Angle charges into a boot from Michaels. Michaels goes to the second turnbuckle but Angle catches Michaels and hits an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Angle with the Three Rivers German suplex combination and gets a two count. Angle with a body scissors on Michaels and he gets a two count. Angle with another near fall while he still has Michaels in the body scissors. Michaels with elbows to get out of the body scissors. Michaels with a chop to Angle in the corner. Angle with two Irish whips and Michaels goes down hard. Angle stands over Michaels preparing for the Angle slam, but Michaels counters with a DDT and both men are down. Michaels rolls over and gets a two count. Michaels with a shoulder tackle and then he comes off the ropes, but Daivari pulls the top rope and Michaels goes to the floor when the ref was not looking. Daivari yells at Michaels on the floor and Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music on Daivari. Angle comes out and hits the Angle slam on Michaels on the floor as we go to commercial.
We are back and Angle has Michaels in a rear chin lock with his knee in Michaels back as Michaels gets back to his feet. Michaels with elbows to escape the hold and then Michaels chops Angle in the corner. Angle with an Irish whip and Michaels does the Michaels flip in the corner. Angle slams Michaels and gets a two count. Angle with a European uppercut followed by two punches. Angle puts Michaels on the top turnbuckle and punches Michaels more. Angle tries for a belly-to-belly superplex, but Michaels knocks Angle off the turnbuckle. Angle tries for the run the turnbuckle belly-to-belly suplex, but Michaels pushes him off again. Angle hits the run the turnbuckle Angle slam, but Angle can only get a two count. Angle yells at Michaels and Michaels tries for Sweet Chin Music, but Angle ducks and puts Michaels in the ankle lock. Michaels with a rollup for a two count. Angle punches Michaels, but Michaels responds with a chop. Michaels and Angle exchange punches and chops until Michaels hits the flying forearm followed by a kip up. Angle grabs Michaels and puts him in the ankle lock, but Michaels rolls out of it. Michaels with a reverse atomic drop followed by a clothesline and then he goes up top, but misses the elbow drop when Angle rolls out of the way. The straps are down as Angle waits for Michaels to get up. Angle tries for the Angle slam, but Michaels with a sunset flip. Angle rolls through into the ankle lock. Michaels tries to get to the ropes, but Angle pulls him into the center of the ring. Michaels tries to kick Angle off, but Angle rolls through. Daivari gets on the apron to yell at Michaels, but Michaels slaps Daivari. Angle with the ankle lock and grapevine, but Daivari comes into the ring with a chair. Angle releases the hold when he sees the ref and Daivari yelling. Michaels with a rollup for the three count.
Winner: Shawn Michaels
After the match, Daivari attacks Michaels and then Angle wants to know what Daivari just did. Daivari tells Angle that it was an accident and he says that he will fix it. Angle grabs Daivari and wants to know what Daivari was thinking since Michaels was tapping out. Daivari apologizes and says that he is still the champion because of him. Daivari slaps Angle, but Angle punches Daivari followed by a European uppercut and then an Angle slam that sends Daivari over the top rope to the floor. We go to commercial.
We are back and Jerry Lawler has the ‘Rawest laptop in sports entertainment’. Joey mentions what happened during the break and Jerry talks about Unlimited and we see what happened during the last break. Kurt Angle says that he won the battle royal on his own and if Todd Grisham sees Daivari he sucks, and his managerial duties are finished.
We see some highlights from one of Edge’s previous TLC matches. We see footage from Wrestlemania X-Seven.
All three announcers talk about how Flair is the underdog in this match because he has never been in a ladder match before.
Maria is in the interview area with Chris Masters. Maria asks Chris about the Elimination Chamber match and how he worked with Carlito until the end of the match. We see footage of the match when Carlito attacked Chris Masters and eliminated Masters. Maria says that was mean. She wants to know if he can make John Cena give up in the Master Lock Challenge. Masters says the only reason why he did not beat John Cena in the Elimination Chamber was because Carlito messed up. Carlito will deal him at the Royal Rumble. Tonight, he will show everyone what should have happened at New Year’s Revolution. He will make John Cena pass out. He wants to tell everyone two things. He will be the youngest superstar to win the Royal Rumble. John Cena will find out that nobody breaks his Master Lock.
Trish Stratus and Ashley Massaro are in the locker room. Trish says that she hears what Ashley is saying. Ashley says that she trusts Trish, but after Mickie’s attack last week. Trish says that Mickie is a little over protective, but Ashley says that Mickie is a lot over protective. Trish assures Ashley that when they face Victoria, Candice, and Torrie; Mickie will be there. Ashley says that Mickie is getting obsessed with Trish. Mickie enters and she wants to know if they are talking about her. Mickie wants to know if Ashley thinks that Mickie is obsessed with Trish. Mickie says that she is obsessed. She apologizes for what happened last week. Ashley accepts the apology. Mickie says that they are going to kick some booty since they are a team. We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for the Master Lock Challenge. Out first is Chris Masters (with his Amazing Technicolor Ring Robe). Masters has a mic before his challenger comes to the ring. He reminds everyone that it is time for the Master Lock Challenge. He issued this challenge to show everyone that he would have defeated John Cena in the Elimination Chamber match if it were not for Carlito. He will prove it tonight. Masters introduces the former WWE champion, and John Cena comes to the ring. Masters tells Cena that he wants to thank him for having the guts to take the Master Lock Challenge. Masters has a proposition for Cena. Masters tells Cena to get in the chair to do it right now. Cena sits down and Masters applies the Master Lock. Cena tries to escape, but Masters holds on. Cena lifts Masters off his feet and then backs Masters into the turnbuckles, but Masters holds on. Cena tries to power out of the hold, but Masters still holds on. Cena looks like he is going to pass out, but he gets a second wind. From out of nowhere, Edge comes into the ring and he spins the WWE title belt in front of Cena and then Edge hits Cena in the face with the title belt. Edge stands over Cena with the belt over his head. Edge leaves the ring and walks to the back with Lita. Cena is bleeding in the ring. We go to commercial.
We are back and Shawn Michaels is getting his ankle checked out when Vince McMahon enters the medical area. Vince says that he has heard of people pulling rabbits out of a hat and the luck of the Irish, but this is ridiculous. He wants to know what Shawn has going for him. Vince says that one day Shawn’s luck is going to run out. Vince says that since Shawn is standing here, he should get his stuff because he is being escorted out of the arena.
Vince goes over to Ric Flair and says that history could be made tonight in Flair Country. Ric Flair can break another record and do the impossible. He can become the seventeen time heavyweight champion of the world. Vince says that he can feel it that Flair can do it. Vince says that he is not going to hold it against Flair for interrupting his celebration. Flair might have a concussion, but he has that look in his eyes. The magic can happen and the lightning can strike one more time.
Candice enters the room and she says that her match is next. She wants Vince to watch the match and critique it move by move. Vince says that he would be delighted and then they can have that talk after the match. Vince asks Candice to hold her wand so she can show off her ability to turn around. Candice leaves and Vince says that he feels better already.
Before our next match, we see Candice talking about her new Go Daddy.com commercial.
Match Number Two: Trish Stratus, Mickie James, and Ashley Massaro versus Victoria, Candice Michelle, and Torrie Wilson (with ‘Little Billy’)
Trish and Victoria start things off. Victoria with an arm bar and then she pulls Trish’s hair. Victoria with a kick to Trish followed by an Irish whip. Victoria charges into a boot and then Trish with a rollup. Trish with a Louise Thesz Press followed by punches to Victoria. Victoria punches Trish followed by an Irish whip. Trish with a head scissors followed by a kick and she gets ready for Stratusfaction, but Candice comes into the ring and Candice is caught with a head scissors while Trish takes down Victoria and Candice. Ashley tags in, but Victoria kicks Ashley and that sends her into Mickie and knocks Mickie off the apron. Ashley ducks a clothesline attempt from Victoria, but Mickie gets into the ring and spears Ashley before slamming Ashley’s head into the mat and punches Ashley. Trish pulls Mickie out of the ring. Victoria kicks Ashley and then hits the Widow’s Peak for the three count.
Winners: Victoria, Candice Michelle, and Torrie Wilson
After the match, Trish checks on Ashley while Mickie stands outside the ring.
We have another TLC moment from SummerSlam 2000 and then we go to commercial.
We are back and Rob Van Dam will be back at the Royal Rumble.
Carlito is in the ring and he has a mic. Carlito wants to know why everyone is so excited about the return of RVD. Carlito reminds everyone about what happened to Rob Van Dam the last time he was on Raw. We go to the Cabana when Carlito attacked Van Dam and worked over Van Dam’s knee. Carlito says that he made sure Van Dam stayed on the disabled list longer than he wanted. Carlito vows to do it again if he has to. Carlito says that he is on a roll. The crowd chants ‘RVD’. Carlito says he came close to winning the WWE Title at New Year’s Revolution. That is OK because he is going to win the Royal Rumble match and be in the main event at Wrestlemania 22. There is nobody on either roster who can throw Carlito over the top rope. That is cool.
Kane’s pyro goes off and he comes to the ring. Carlito punches Kane, but Kane grabs Carlito by the throat. Carlito with a thumb to the eyes followed by a big boot. Kane shoves the apple into Carlito’s mouth and then he slams Carlito over the top rope to the floor.
Vince is in the McOffice and one of the production assistants says that there is a woman who wants to see him. Vince says that he wants to see her too. He says that he needs a few minutes. Vince says that Candice has the hots for him. We go to commercial.
We are back and Vince takes off his jacket and watch before there is a knock on the door. Vince tells Candice not to say a word. He wants to ‘feel her presence’ as he takes off his pants. Vince mocks the ‘Candice spin’ and he turns around and sees Shelton’s mama. She has a dollar for Vince. Shelton enters the McOffice too. She wants to know why Shelton is not wrestling tonight and is not on television. She wants Shelton to have a match. Shelton says it does not matter, but she says to let the adults talk. Vince says that Shelton will wrestle tonight against ‘suitable competition’. Shelton wants to know what ‘suitable competition’ is, but his mama tells him to be quiet and it does not matter because he is a Benjamin. She tells Shelton to get ready for his match. Vince tells Shelton’s mama that she has business to do. She tells Vince that if he wants a real woman for some ‘chocolate thunder’ or ‘brown sugar’ to call her up. She leaves the McOffice and Vince does not feel good.
We find out that John Cena will face the winner of tonight’s TLC match.
We see footage from the TLC match from Smackdown in 2001. We go to commercial.
We are back for Match Number Three: Shelton Benjamin (with his mama) versus Big Show
Before the match begins, Shelton tells his mama to give Show a piece of her mind. Shelton tells Show that his mama is not afraid of anyone. Show holds the rope for Shelton’s mama to leave the ring. She tells Shelton to do the best he can. The bell rings and Shelton punches Show, but Show with a head butt. Benjamin ducks a clothesline, but Show with a side slam. Benjamin with a rake of the eyes and then he slams Show’s hand into the ring post. Shelton goes up top, but Show catches Benjamin. Shelton is able to get out of the choke slam attempt, but Show catches Benjamin and hits a fallaway slam that sends Benjamin outside the ring. Show goes out and tosses Benjamin back into the ring. From out of nowhere, Triple H comes out, but Show with a head butt to Hunter. Hunter and Show fight to the back while the referee counts Show out.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin (by count out)
After the match, Shelton’s mama comes into the ring to celebrate with Shelton.
We have another TLC moment from Raw in 2002 as we go to commercial.
We are back with footage from Stacy Keibler on Dancing with the Stars.
We are back and Ric Flair comes to the ring and he stops to kiss his daughter Ashley before entering the ring. Before the match begins, we see the footage of Edge hitting Flair with the steel chair to his head on the announce table. The belt is attached to the harness and lifted above the ring.
Match Number Four: Ric Flair versus Edge (with Lita) for the WWE title in a Table, Ladders, and Chairs match
Edge backs Flair into the corner, but Flair moves out of the way and he chops Edge in the corner. Edge with a knee followed by an elbow and then he kicks Flair on the mat before hitting an elbow drop. Edge brings a ladder and chair into the ring. Edge hits Flair in the head with the ladder and Flair goes down. Edge puts Flair in the ladder and slams it on Flair’s head. Edge gets the chair and he hits the ladder with the chair as it slams into Flair’s head. Edge pulls Flair up and kicks him out of the ring. Edge follows after Flair, but he is met with a number of chops that sends Edge into the crowd. Flair goes after Edge into the crowd, but Edge back body drops Flair over the ringside barrier into the ringside area. Edge with a suplex to Flair on the floor. Edge sets up a table in front of the announce table and puts a chair on it. Edge punches Flair in the head while Lita brings another chair over. Edge slams Flair’s head into the chair. Edge rearranges the announce table and then grabs the chair. Flair with the testicular claw and then he sends Edge into the ringside barrier. Lita climbs on Flair’s back, but Flair throws her off. Edge hits Flair with the chair and Flair is bleeding. Edge kicks Flair and then moves the table over. Edge punches Flair and Lita chokes Flair and holds him. Edge sets up a ladder in the ring. Edge climbs the ladder and hits a splash onto Flair through the table. We hear Flair’s daughter beg for him to get up as we go to commercial.
We are back and Edge is trying to get back into the ring while Flair is already in the ring. Flair pulls Edge back in and hits Edge with a low blow. Flair brings the ladder over and places Edge inside of the ladder. Flair slams the ladder onto Edge and then he gets a chair and brings it into the ring. Flair hits the ladder with the chair. Flair hits Edge in the head with the chair and Edge goes down. Flair drops the ladder onto Edge’s chest and hits it two more times with the chair. Flair with a third chair shot onto the ladder and this time it was on Edge’s knee. Flair puts the ladder in the center of the ring and he gets ready to climb it, but he moves it into the corner. Flair chops Edge and then Flair goes up top and then he climbs to the top of the ladder, but Edge climbs the ladder and rakes Flair’s eyes. Flair and Edge exchange punches and Edge gets the advantage and Edge hits a superplex from the top of the ladder and both men are down. Edge with an elbow to Flair’s leg and Edge climbs the ladder again. Flair gets up, but Edge hits a missile drop kick and Flair does the Flair flop as both men are down again. Edge gets the chair and hits Flair with it and Flair goes outside the ring. The referees check on Flair’s arm outside the ring. Edge moves the ladder into the center of the ring and he gets ready to climb the ladder. Flair gets back into the ring and Flair pushes the ladder over and Edge goes through a table on the floor. Lita checks on Edge while Flair is in the ring and he sets up the ladder. Flair climbs the ladder and he grabs the belt, but Lita pulls Flair off. Lita punches Flair, but Flair puts Lita into the figure four. Lita is taken out of the ring and Flair starts to climb the ladder again. Edge climbs the ladder as well and he punches Flair in the head. Flair is knocked off the ladder and Edge grabs the belt.
Winner: Edge
After the match, Edge gets a chair and he places it under Flair’s head. Edge gets another chair for a one man conchairto, but from out of nowhere, John Cena comes out and he punches Edge and then slams his head into the turnbuckle before punching Edge. Lita comes into the ring with a chair, but Cena sees her and Lita leaves the ring. Edge leaves the ring as well as we go to credits.
