The videos play and it’s great to see a Web Show with freakin’ wrestling clips in the video package. Seriously, how hard is it to ask for Heat to just put in a picture or two if anything?
Before we start with our first match, Dean naturally takes an opportunity to cut a promo and he beings to insult England saying they got smelly food and rotten food. He then asks for Phoenix’s name and he supplies along with the information that he is from Sheffield, which got a huge pop. He then is asked to endorse the product, but doesn’t want to, and is suckered punched by Dean. This is starting to get real old, real fast. Mix it up, Dean, for God’s sake; anything besides the same old routine. It’s good, but not twenty times in a row.
Simon Dean Vs. Taylor Phoenix
Match ran a little longer than you would think, and because of that, it was better than you would think. Dean is still getting a little repetitive, but he’s still entertaining to watch in the ring. Phoenix is someone I’m still split on. The guy had more offense in this one as it was a better back and forth match, but he looked like he botched two or three moves like a Moonsault and a suplex. Those are basic moves right there; they aren’t made to be botched. He was also flying a little too much for the offense he was getting from Dean. If I have my face trampled, I doubt I’d whirl around the ring like Harry Potter on a broom. Dean was unbelievable stiff in this match too with more kicks and shots to the head than usual; definitely something he needs to ante up more. In all honesty, Dean needs someone like Maven again to take under his wing and train. Someone like Kid Kash. It’s not like he’s doing anything else! That must be my motto because I’ve said it like three times this week already. Back to the match, it was like a longer version of any other Dean match you’ve seen, but because it was longer, Dean was force to incorporate some more stretches and moves besides his trademarks which made it different from the rest and ultimately better. In the end, he hit the Simonizer and got the easy win.
Winner: Simon Dean
Star Wrestler: Simon Dean
He basically gets this by default because I am still on the wall on Phoenix. He had a good outing on Heat, but this one was a little lackluster and his way of pumping the crowd really didn’t work especially considering it’s his hometown! Even more, if he didn’t botch that Moonsault on purpose, I don’t even want to know what he was trying to do or how he ended up like that cause it a was a train wreck that belonged back in training school. In the end, it looks like Phoenix is still green in the business, while Dean has mastered the stiff aspect (or WWE stiff) and used it to make jobbers like him cry for mommy.
Another Bret Hart DVD commercial is shown making me yearn more for some money so I can buy it or Christmas to come sooner. Whichever is more feasible.
Sylvan Vs. Funaki
Basic Sylvan match here with a little extra comedy and workrate thanks to our friendly, neighborhood announcer, Funaki! He was selling the moves like death, doing comedy like Robin Williams, and working as cruiser beast like Mysterio. Funaki was just great tonight while Sylvan left something to be desired. I like the throwback bearhug he used and the steel steps incorporation, but not much else he did fit in the scheme of things or in the flow of things. Sylvan just always seems out of place to me and is really the one guy I think WWE really can do without. WWE seems to have no plans for him, they aren’t currently doing anything with him, he’s stinking up the ring, and he’s getting nothing from the crowd; why have him on? That thought is seriously always there when I look at this guy. Anyway, I loved Funaki’s comeback and his eventual downfall. It was textbook, yet unique, and a good example to the cruisers backstage as to how to get over even though you’re about one/third the size of everyone else. In the end, Funaki went for the Tornado DDT, but Sylvan spun him out and hit his DDT to him without the suplex kicker.
Winner: Sylvan
Star Wrestler: Funaki
Funaki was just firing on all cylinders tonight. His selling was air tight, his comeback meant something and was well placed, he drew the crowd into the match better than some guys who main event PPVs can, and he just got a decent match out of Sylvan which is saying a whole lot considering I am trying to write his singles career off as a bad dream. Why WWE never capitalized on Funaki is beyond me and I’d really like to see them make a move with him now. Maybe move him to Raw and pair him with Tajiri or feud him with Tajiri? I just might drool over that concept. All right, while I drool, you jot it down; Funaki is the star wrestler.
