Sing the first line of Bischoff’s theme music. Well, close enough.
The night started with Bischoff and Angle trying their best to ignore several conventions of pro-wrestling, side-stepping the pinfall or submission route, and just going straight to the presentation of the new champion part. Vince McMahon, paragon of all things fair that he is, strolled to the ring like he was trying to shake off a dangleberry from his butt and reminded everyone that Cena is still champ and why we should all assume that his ‘major’ announcements are usually less than major. Still, those who don’t have the Internet at home are now up to speed with what most of us knew about the Raw homecoming a good week or two ago and he also added Cena/Bischoff to the historic night on October 3. I can understand why Foley, HHH and Austin’s respective returns are being paraded as noteworthy, but Hogan? Didn’t we just get rid of him? Ah well, if you’re having an orgy then you need the biggest whore on the street so I guess his spot on the show was to be expected.
I hope that Vince keeps the outcome of the Edge/Hardy ‘loser leaves Raw/money in the bank’ match on the homecoming show as closely guarded as he did the draft lottery picks. Even though it is a certainty that whoever loses will either find a way back to Raw in six months or transfer virtually immediately over to Smackdown, the result and subsequent leaving loser could potentially be either man and, in an era of spoilers and rumours, it would be nice to not know for a change. Plus, it should be a good match.
The difficulty in assessing the merits of the eight-man tag team main event lie not in critiquing the action, which was more than acceptable, but in judging its significance. It doesn’t take a genius to realise that the WWE is now treading water until the three-hour Raw homecoming in two-weeks time and the Raw finale this week was as much a lap of honour for those who participated in the important Unforgiven matches, than as a storyline progression. I’ve never been a fan of presenting one side of the divide or the other as a mutual appreciation society and, seeing as the back-slapping and mental-masturbating was done primarily for the benefit of those in the crowd with an age in years and an IQ of roughly the same number, it just came across as false and saccharin. Maybe I’m just too cynical but if wrestling isn’t presented as something that carries a certain terminal gravitas at its core then it ceases to be challenging and I find it harder to care. Conversely, I’m a realist. I know that not everything is going to be to my taste week in and week out and I can be objective in appraising how something is received. You can be cold in analysis, but you can’t argue with a live audience and they seemed to like it. HBK seems much happier as a face once more, Edge and Hardy needed a break from the intensity, Masters continued his in-ring improvements, Show and Snitsky were there and Angle proved for the thousandth time that he can get the best out of any performer just by dragging them up to his level. As for Cena, he and the WWE seem intent on polarising fan support/disdain for his gimmick. At a time when they should be toning him down, especially in a feud with Angle, they are turning his volume up to eleven, presumably to draw an emotion out of you whether it is love or hate just as long as it’s not indifference. Trouble is, with two sides of popular opinion so diametrically opposed it is unlikely that either side will change their minds for fear of becoming the other. Cena could have good matches, good promos and strong segments but his detractors won’t recognise this because it would endorse a soft, ‘entertainment’ ethos. Equally, his die-hard fans won’t accept any criticism levelled against him because it would fuel the argument of those who wish to bring him down. In taking away the middle ground, the WWE is loading both armies with ammunition and the only possible casualty of war is Cena himself unless they stop him constantly looking for fan validation, straighten up his demeanour and tighten up his ring skills, which he could do if required. But at a time when most of us want a wrestler as champion, Vince wants a wrestler/actor/rapper/franchise as the lead guy on Raw and he likes money too much to give up the goose that lays golden eggs. Would you?
Match of the night honours went to Carlito and Flair’s Unforgiven IC title rematch. As with the night before, not the most technically adventurous encounter you’ll see but the psychology was spot on and the way they ate up the time, thanks to everyone else being in the eight-man tag, with stalling tactics and short bursts of action worked really well. I know it’s a statement about neglectful writing rather than ability but it is odd that Flair has brought more credibility to the IC belt in two matches as champion than Shelton Benjamin and Carlito did in a year (or so). I’m under no illusion that Flair is an old man or a legendary veteran (depending on how you look at it) and he probably should have popped a Viagra tablet under each breast in the vain hope that the firming up process can be external as well as internal, but the man is working through his age-induced limitations rather than, like Hogan, expecting everyone to make allowances and sacrifices therefore, so I’m behind Flair on this one (unless he’s getting out of a limo with his ass out and then I’m running away). The best thing about the Carlito/Flair partnership is that they seem to be working so hard for eachother. Because Carlito is still a little light on offence and Flair’s arsenal was reduced to chops and low-blows years ago, the key seems to be in aggressively selling the other’s business and that’s where the fire is coming from that is lighting up this feud. On the surface, losing to a much older and visibly tiring man might appear to be doing harm to Carlito’s prospects but it’s not, and if he keeps up this level of enthusiasm and teamwork then Carlito’s future looks bright.
One of the problems I have with the current WWE system is that it rarely seems to learn from its own mistakes. Take Tyson Tomko. Although it’s fair to say that he’s never been a regular in the mid-card, unless you count guilt by association, his skills have improved since his debut and the only thing missing to get him rolling is a meaningful feud or a catchy character tweak to imprint him in the attention of the fans. Instead, the bookers seem to have taken him away from the present mid-card imbroglio and will now try to hype him against jobbers highlighting the devastating effects of his signature move. It didn’t work for Lex Luger in 1993 with his bionic forearm and, more recently, it didn’t work for Chris Masters with the Masterlock. In fact, Masters is looking more and more like a decent prospect for the future the less and less that the emphasis is placed on his finisher and he is given proper wrestling matches against credible opponents. Unless you are willing to let the ‘devastating’ hold or move be used routinely against wrestlers at the top of the card as well as the bottom (as with Undertaker, Yokozuna and Goldberg) then the limitations of this idea are many and will only be avoided with a change of direction.
Right now, I’m a big fan of what Cade and Murdoch have done so far. Too early and too little to be proclaimed as the saviours of the tag team ranks but they appear to be the kick up the backside it so desperately needed. Murdoch is old school veneer around a quick, talented performer and Cade has finally found a gimmick that suits him. But it’s more than that. I like that they are the cowboy and the trucker but not enough of either that it’s an obvious characterisation. I like Cade’s smiling optimism to Murdoch’s dour exterior. They can wrestle. They don’t have to be stupid to be annoying (yes I am talking about the Heart throbs). A few more teams like this and someone behind the scenes giving a crap and we might have a resurgent tag division. The idea of running an injury angle with Hurricane works because the feud would be less without it, but that’s mostly down to Rosey and Hurricane being a spent team going through the process of handing over the titles and the weight of a dead league.
Okay, the women’s division (who laughed?). Anyone who was expecting everything in the garden to be rosy by now should collect their realism at the door because it’s time you went home. When Vince cleaned out the female roster some while ago, he was averring that the role of women in the WWE would change and, in the eyes of most fans, not for the better. Whilst it is true that, as a result, the overall quality of women’s wrestling has dropped since the releases, it is also noticeable that there hasn’t been a dramatic rise in the number of sexually-motivated gimmick matches and, rather than most of the women being underused or absent, there has been a centralisation of the group. It is obvious that the five women involved are either adding to their skills or receiving basic training, so no one’s getting a free ‘diva’ pass, and the fact that two of the five are also two of the three best recent female workers in WWE should be a sign that all is not lost. They have a spot on the show in which they are expected to be self-sufficient and they are being asked to do more than just jiggle up and down. We’ll need more, but it’s a start. As for Raw, the Trish/Torrie match wasn’t a patch on the good tag effort at Unforgiven, but the crowd cheered and no dead wrestlers turned in their graves so I’m okay with it. Note to WWE: use Victoria more.
Is it just me or did the old WWE title belt look really nice?
So there it is, an enjoyable few days in the WWE. Blasphemous as this might be, I really enjoyed Unforgiven. The only thing the PPV lacked was a great main event but good will do. And they carried the momentum through to Raw, which was a very watchable show without hitting top speed at any point. But the WWE should be careful not to put all the focus on Raw October 3, we’ve got next week’s show to get through first. And I hate neglect.
Lee
